FL Surrogate Wants To Keep Baby AND Get Child Support

[disneymom3]

My name is Rebekah and I live near Tampa. If any of you are in the listening area of 93.3 (Tampa, St. Louis and Jacksonville), i was just on there show this morning about this. I found this online when I googled the situation. Who cares if you don't believe me, the facts are what they are anyway. You'll see me on the news at some point in the future. In fact I am hear witht the family today with two of my children about to do an interview for CBS News. Why would I take the time to point out all of this stuff if I wasn't there surrogate.

And this is not "the only place in the world discussing this". I will continue to find this topic and defend it because I am involved and I am tired of people bashing surrogacy and those involved.

Rebekah

That is what I assumed had led this poster here.

 

[teacher2001]

Um, I am Oprah Winfrey and I hope to have you on my show regarding this situation. I figured the Community Board on the DIS was the best place to find involved parties in this custody battle, and I was right!

--Oprah

Please give me a call

 

[ducklite]

Um, I am Oprah Winfrey and I hope to have you on my show regarding this situation. I figured the Community Board on the DIS was the best place to find involved parties in this custody battle, and I was right!

--Oprah

Please give me a call

May I have your autograph? And what do you really think about Phil Donohue? (I always wanted to ask her that... )

Anne

 

[va32h]

Here is an updated article confirming that court documents say the mother is asking for child support:

http://www.news4jax.com/news/13386918/detail.html

I can certainly see why that would come off as distasteful. However, the birth mother's requests; support, medical care, and life insurance - don't strike me as any different than the requests a woman would make of an ex-spouse, boyfriend, or any other male who knocked her up.

Child support is the right of the child, not the custodial parent. I can't see a family court denying a child financial support from one of her biological parents, simply to punish the other.

I also can't see a family court denying the bio-father visitation or shared custody though, unless the birth mother can prove some kind of unfitness - and it would have to be something really major. If OJ Simpson can get custody of his kids, anyone can.

 

[MosMom]

Hopefully a court can see through her BS and grant custody to the father. Make the birth mom pay child support and she can have visitation.

Sorry, I don't believe the mom is an innocent in this. It just doesn't sit well with me. We'll see what else comes out about this but first instinct is that it just isn't right.

 

[ducklite]

Hopefully a court can see through her BS and grant custody to the father. Make the birth mom pay child support and she can have visitation.

Sorry, I don't believe the mom is an innocent in this. It just doesn't sit well with me. We'll see what else comes out about this but first instinct is that it just isn't right.

I agree--I think that as time goes on more and more will come out on the birthmom, and it's not going to be pretty.

Anne

 

[poohandwendy]

Sad situation all the way around. I think the couple showed really, really bad judgement in this. I mean, come on. Surrogacy has always been surrounded with the 'what if the birth mother tries to lay claim to the baby/becomes attached to the baby?' fears- just like traditional adoption carries the risk that the birthmother may change her mind. It just blows me away that they were so careless in this matter, previous positive experiences or not.

I think it's a real shame this went down this way, if she is scamming them...hopefully she gets what is coming to her. But honestly...people need to protect themselves when they get involved with something like this.

 

[ducklite]

Sad situation all the way around. I think the couple showed really, really bad judgement in this. I mean, come on. Surrogacy has always been surrounded with the 'what if the birth mother tries to lay claim to the baby/becomes attached to the baby?' fears- just like traditional adoption carries the risk that the birthmother may change her mind. It just blows me away that they were so careless in this matter, previous positive experiences or not.

I think it's a real shame this went down this way, if she is scamming them...hopefully she gets what is coming to her. But honestly...people need to protect themselves when they get involved with something like this.

I agree. And if they had used the surrogate for gestation only with a donated fertilized egg, then the law would clearly be on their side.

Anne

 

[Beth76]

I can certainly see why that would come off as distasteful. However, the birth mother's requests; support, medical care, and life insurance - don't strike me as any different than the requests a woman would make of an ex-spouse, boyfriend, or any other male who knocked her up.

But she wasn't "knocked up" by a boyfriend. She went into this thing supposedly with the intent to give the child to the couple. If she wanted a baby, she could have gone to a sperm bank. Ah, but if she went that route, she couldn't get child support. And I would hope that if it found that this couple has to pay child support that they would at least get partial custody.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

It is cases like this that have turned me off to considering adoption or surrogacy. After all I have been through already and still have no baby, I am not going to put my trust in someone else to do it for me, I will just have to reamin childless (it is a shame that we can't trust anyone anymore). This woman obviously has some mental issues and that should have been evaluated prior to her conceiving this baby.

My DH and I had to sign authorizations prior to him giving a "sample" for us to do an IUI and I am his wife, we also signed another authorization just prior to the insemination, and because he was in California for the Army, he had to sign a Power of Attorney for me to use his sperm and I am his wife. Why didn't this happen prior to her procedure. This woman needs some serious help.

Suzanne

 

[Beth76]

It is cases like this that have turned me off to considering adoption or surrogacy.

I wonder though if this could happen if the surrogate's egg wasn't used. I would think there could be no legal way a surrogate could keep the baby if it wasn't biologically hers. Anyone know about this?

 

[va32h]

But she wasn't "knocked up" by a boyfriend. She went into this thing supposedly with the intent to give the child to the couple. If she wanted a baby, she could have gone to a sperm bank. Ah, but if she went that route, she couldn't get child support. And I would hope that if it found that this couple has to pay child support that they would at least get partial custody.

I understand that - and I am not really agreeing with her decision to seek child support. But child support is supposed to be for and about the child. What the mother could have or should have done may not be relevant to whether the child's known biological father will be obligated to financially support her.

My guess is that he will have pay support and he will also get visitation or shared custody. Unless there is really something fishy going on.

I am definitely curious as to why the wife's egg wasn't used, or why completely different surrogate didn't provide the egg, and why their lawyer allowed the insemination to occur without a signed contract, and what fertility clinic went ahead with the whole procedure without ironclad paperwork.

Based on the video, the couple looks like they are middle aged or older. I wonder if they were considered too old for most fertility programs and sought a more "informal" route?

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I wonder though if this could happen if the surrogate's egg wasn't used. I would think there could be no legal way a surrogate could keep the baby if it wasn't biologically hers. Anyone know about this?

I can't remember in all my research, but I don't think she has any right to the child if she isn't the biological mother. I don't remember of hearing about any cases of this happening. I'm not sure if I would risk it then either.

The thing now being done is to go to a foreign country, like India and having a woman do it there. The mothers are all screened and are women that already have children and want no more. Many of those women are doing it to help their family. They get paid about $5000 to do it and that is what a man would make a year in India. The woman that did the interview had either lost her husband or he was disabled and unable to work and she did this to help make ends meet for her family. I don't think the mother have a biological connection then either.

Suzanne

 

[va32h]

I wonder though if this could happen if the surrogate's egg wasn't used. I would think there could be no legal way a surrogate could keep the baby if it wasn't biologically hers. Anyone know about this?

Well I turned to Google! I only found reference to one case in 1993 in which a gestational surrogate did sue for custody, but lost.

I suppose a gestational surrogate could argue that she had bonded with the baby during the pregnancy - people argue all sorts of things in custody cases.

 

[jayssababy]

Actually, yes! I've been an advocate for 10 years. I have my own Suroogacy Agency. Family Fertility Options, LLC, so of course, I am advocating for all surrogates, egg donors and intended parents.

Go on the and check it out if you'd like. Hey, I even have a picture that i can post of myself and my former intended mother at a doctors appointment. Her picture is all over the internet for comparison.

Ney sayers! Yuck!

 

[MosMom]

Actually, yes! I've been an advocate for 10 years. I have my own Suroogacy Agency. Family Fertility Options, LLC, so of course, I am advocating for all surrogates, egg donors and intended parents.

Go on the and check it out if you'd like. Hey, I even have a picture that i can post of myself and my former intended mother at a doctors appointment. Her picture is all over the internet for comparison.

Ney sayers! Yuck!

Found it on Google but the website doesn't work.

 

[jayssababy]

I'm not sure whats wrong with the site but if you go to google and put "Family Fertility Options" in quotationmarks then click on cached you can look at it. And no, the idea is not to advertise but to substantiate who I am.

 

[va32h]

Well this is interesting. I may have to eat my words since jayssababy wrote the same story on another message board several months ago.

http://www.surromomsonline.com/support/showthread.php?t=87415

So sorry about questioning you, Rebekah, but realistically, anyone can go on the internet and say anything, so it is wise to be suspicious of anyone's claims online.

Which you should know, since the surrogate in question was found online and according to you made all sorts of claims that are not true.

I found it interesting that according to your own words, the parents who hired the surrogate knew as early as February that the birth mother intended to keep the baby. Why didn't they check the contract right then? Why did they start decorating the Tinkerbell nursery and picking out names when they have known for at least three months that the mother had no intention of giving up the baby?

And as sympathetic as you have been to the couple, you said yourself in those posts that they were trying to cut corners and have another baby on the cheap, and that they got what they paid for.

Why didn't you act as their surrogate again?

 

[poohandwendy]

As interesting as it is to think this new poster knows the couple involved in this mess, it's sort of irrelevant. There is obviously a bias with both sides. I am sure people who know the surrogate would come here (if they stumbled upon this thread) and speak in her favor. I am sure both sides feel justified.

I guess time (and a judge) will tell, after all of the facts instead of opinions are weighed.

I feel for the baby involved. I have a feeling this child is caught in the middle of a mess that both sides created, whether by purposeful action or piss poor planning. The child is the one who suffers the most when the adults in their life are fighting over them.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

As interesting as it is to think this new poster knows the couple involved in this mess, it's sort of irrelevant. There is obviously a bias with both sides. I am sure people who know the surrogate would come here (if they stumbled upon this thread) and speak in her favor. I am sure both sides feel justified.

I guess time (and a judge) will tell, after all of the facts instead of opinions are weighed.

I feel for the baby involved. I have a feeling this child is caught in the middle of a mess that both sides created, whether by purposeful action or piss poor planning. The child is the one who suffers the most when the adults in their life are fighting over them.

Very well said.

Suzanne