Financial disaster

[melancholywings]

I feel for her children as I think she's going to land herself in prison. I'd polietly distance yourself from her.

 

[Green Tea]

So the whole 50K was charged by her on a single card? If she requested another card for DH, even without providing his SS number, it is on his credit report as well. I was surprised to find that out. LL Bean card was in DH's name. Not it shows up when I check I my credit report as well.

A homemaker can get a credit card in her name, even without being currently employed. I did. I believe the application requested household income. And it asked for my current or last job. Mine was 18 years ago. I checked the retired box instead of the current box.

I don't understand the popcorn smilies on this thread, btw.

 

[mikehn]

Unsecured debt such as a credit card debt stand almost no chance of recovering any assets. They will never trump anyones mortgage holder. They simply write these losses off routinely because they can afford to with the 20% interest they charge everyone else. Your friend and her husband know the game.

 

[zazu1971]

I have former friends like this as well. They just declared bankruptcy for the
3rd time I heard. I don't know how they do it.. honestly, but nothing ever seems to touch them. They still have their home, both cars and spend like money is going out of style. Their children wear the latest and greatest and always have the latest high end whatever that is popular.
The first time I sympathized... I know what it's like when money is tight, I didn't realize how far they were living beyond their means. When they continued to buy, buy, buy with reckless disregard, I really had a hard time with that. It just was so far from what I was trying to do that we just drifted apart. It wasn't a big messy ending of what was at that time a 25 year friendship, but just a slow realization that we wanted very different things out of life. Right as hubster and I were getting our heads above water from the leaner years they filed for bk a second time. They almost lost everything that time.... but they didn't. They managed to file just before the new laws went into effect, I think they were concerned that it might wreck their plans. She came and cried on my shoulder one evening during that time... and I knew that was it. It wasn't that I didn't care anymore, I still care about her due to the years of history we had, but her problems are always going to be the same ones, she has no desire to fix them and I have enough of my own that we ARE fixing to deal with. That was the last time we really "hung out" at all. We see each other from time to time, towns not that big, and we are friendly, but gone are the days of 4 hour phone calls and gab sessions. They filed again in june, 7 years and 9 months after the last time. Hubster just rolled his eyes and said how sad it was that their 4 kids will never learn how to manage their own finances. I will say I never realized how toxic her friendship was though until I didn't spend so much time with her. You have my good thoughts to you as you deal with this, it hurts when you realize you and a friend have grown apart.

 

[DawnM]

And who do you think paid for that bankruptsy? All of us! When people default, everyone ELSE loses.

So, just tell her you are tired of paying and don't want to be burdened with her and her DH's $95,000 in debt!

Dawn

 

[banderboo]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but the credit card companies can get a judgement against her regardless of her current financial/employment situation. They may not be able to collect right now but if she ever gets a job in the future or ever decides to own anything they will go after their money.

 

[Kay1]

Because of people like your friend and the credit card companies, people who pay with earned-and-saved cash can't have what we might otherwise be able to afford: too much money chasing too few goods causes price inflation.

For example, my husband earns a good living, we save and earn interest from our savings and then save some of that interest. Yet, when we go to Disney, we usually stay offsite because the resort prices have risen so.

We're going to the F&W Festival in September and always stay onsite to avoid drinking and driving. We'd like to stay a couple of nights at an Epcot resort, but instead will stay one night at All Star Music with a FL resident discount. If your friend (or someone with a similar philosophy) decides to go that weekend, she can stay at any resort she likes, for as many nights as she likes as long as her credit card company lets her. It doesn't hurt Disney. They get paid either way and it lets them keep raising their prices.

There's no way for earned-and-saved money to compete with Fantasyland money. I'm afraid that I could not be that woman's friend.

 

[hinodis]

Ok, I just HAVE to ask...did she ever repay your dad? I would think that as a *friend* she would feel obliged to make it right..How about a heartfelt apology to your dad for stealing from him? I can't imagine even considering letting someone back into my life without sincere repentance and amends having been made....

No she never did. She is very good at the "poor me" thing. I think always wanting everyone to feel sorry for her. She is married to a horrible man that spends a couple hundred a week on beer, poor me. We don't even discuss that issue. She stays with him so she does not have to get a job. She has a lawyer right now so she can get on social security for her bad back. According to her SS owes her backpay of about what she qwes. As I am writing this I am really beginning to see how bad this really is. She sure has a way of making it seem like you should feel sorry for her. She goes to church and tells me how she aways tries to do the right thing! I only talk to her about once a week. I am too busy working my 2 jobs to pay my bills. alot of you have made some great points, thanks.

 

[storybookstory]

She had a job several years ago so that may be when she got the cards. As far as the bankrupsy she has filed twice before. The last time was about 15 or so years ago. One of the bills she never paid was the jewlery she bought from my Dad's store. That was in the first bankrupsy. I was really upset and did not really talk to her for a couple of years. I guess I eventually got over it. Forgot about it really until just know. I see a definate pattern here. I wonder when she will crash and burn.

Why do the words "debtor's prison" keep ringing through my head???

SBS

 

[WDWDecember]

It's hard to believe that they'd be able to charge anything more if they haven't made CC payments for months now. How on earth are they going to pay for their pool and trip to Cedar Pointe?

 

[buckler]

She also can't get a divorce because she has ruined her credit rating while allowing her husband to keep his credit rating less affected. He could walk away from her and be ok finanacially while she has trashed credit and would be in major trouble. Dumb idea! Every woman should have a good credit history of her own to fall back on for whatever reason. Even if he doesn't leave her, if he dies she is in trouble. She won't have his credit rating to fall back on any longer.

 

[tink2dw]

If you live in a Community Property State they will both loss it All, even their children.

 

[fkj2]

Unsecured debt such as a credit card debt stand almost no chance of recovering any assets. They will never trump anyones mortgage holder. They simply write these losses off routinely because they can afford to with the 20% interest they charge everyone else. Your friend and her husband know the game.

But once that debt gets sold to a collections agency, the game changes.

A friend of mine dug herself a deep financial hole and now she's paying for it, literally. One guy, whose company must have had an old check, called her and told her that unless she paid $2200 immediately, they were going to go ahead and withdraw the funds from her account. She panicked, told the guy she didn't have that kind of money. He didn't care; he wanted the money and he wanted it NOW. She finally made arrangements to take a loan from her pension plan. Yes, I know; not ideal but she had little alternative. She's still getting calls about her old credit card debt. And she had no house to foreclose on.

While cc companies once wrote down the debt, I don't think they can afford to now.

What fascinates me is that these people feel entitled to accummulate this kind of debt and feel exempt from paying for it. And what a horrible example to establish for her children.

OP, it's time for your "friend" to pull up her big girl panties and grow up.

 

[TKERBELL]

I don't understand the popcorn smilies on this thread, btw.

It means watching to see what happens, as in watching a movie with pocorn - Silly little thing!!!

I really don't have anythign new to add - but I will offer this - I agree with a PP about wanting absolution - my mom is great for this with me - she will tell me about all the issues she is having and then tell me she is going away with my Dad beacuse they "need" time away - ok Mom whatever......

DH & I are working a program to pay down our debt and in less than 5 years we will no longer owe anyone anything (no NOT Dave Ramsey)- we live by a budget - and I have 3 growing boys who "need" (yeah I went there) shoes and pants just about every 3-4 months, and unfortunatly for me my oldest DS and middle DS are complete opposite body types so I am not able to pass down pants (shorts & shirts sometimes) and by the time my youngest DS would fit into the clothes they will be SO far outdated.....

Oh and before I get flamed for my upcoming WDW trip at Christmas - all paid for all in cash as part of our budget except resort we are DVC owners......

To the OP - I wish you luck, I will pray you find peace and please do not take on the burden of others - you (general) have enough of your own problems to worry about someone else's - No other Monkeys live on my back!!!

 

[MKCP5]

I'm not urprised that she has all the unsecured debt. My best friend is a stay at home mom who has not worked outside the home for $$ for about 12 years now. Her husband has avery good job and it works well for their family. They just bought her a brand new Toyota Sienna minivan. It is in HER name. It was almost $40,000. She has no income. Crazy!

Don't misunderstand. They can afford it and will pay for the loan. I was just amazed that they would give it to her exclusively in her name with no income!

 

[Patti_C]

My sister has just been served with a small claims suit for 800.00 from a cc company. It is back from 2002. She was having a very hard time then and just let it go. Well now that she is on her feet they tracked her down and served her papers.

 

[MrsPete]

I once asked her how she could afford a new outfit everyday. She said, "I charge it and then make the minimum payment. I figured out that for $100 a month, I can have anything I want!"

What's that saying? Never trade what you want most for what you want right now.
She wasn't smart enough to figure out that this ploy can only work for a short time. She was trading her ability to own a home, to build up savings for the future, and have stable finances for the rest of her life so that she didn't have to wear yesterday's "old" shirt again.

 

[churchpilot]

Someone may have already posted this, but before my head explodes, I have to say it. There are these annoying little laws on every states books called "fraud laws". Anytime you purchase something (credit card cash advances count) and you know that your chances are next to nothing to pay them off, then it is fraud. I can't believe that there is a credit company that is still letting her charge if she hasn't paid since October. It will catch up with her and she will end up in jail. There credit score has to be terrible. There is something else going on here because I can't imagine anyone else (pool company) or anyone else loaning them money. Meanwhile, you and I will pay the cost with the higher cost of loans, etc. Time to grow up sweetie and quit living off the world.

 

[churchpilot]

I'm sorry, I know this is not a funny thread, but the eating popcorn thing is hyterical. Gotta remember that one!

 

[ceecee]

She had a job several years ago so that may be when she got the cards. As far as the bankrupsy she has filed twice before. The last time was about 15 or so years ago. One of the bills she never paid was the jewlery she bought from my Dad's store. That was in the first bankrupsy. I was really upset and did not really talk to her for a couple of years. I guess I eventually got over it. Forgot about it really until just know. I see a definate pattern here. I wonder when she will crash and burn.

And she's still your friend...why??? I would have absolutely NO compassion for her, she knows EXACTLY what she's doing and liking it! She has no intention of paying for what she's charging. She's done it twice before, I hear the bankruptcy laws are cracking down, maybe this will end it for her. Fraud, plain and simple!