Financial disaster

[lyonsfam6]

OK...1st things 1st...the title is SWALLOWING PRIDE!! I went to school...right?

-takes a deep breath- Ok, listen and take notes....

SHE IS IN TROUBLE!!! Her first course of action is finding out what her state laws are regarding bankruptcy and her legal rights, if any. Each state is different and she is a fool if she waits until she is being SUED...and she is going to be SUED...to look into her options. Getting sued is going to be VERY PUBLIC and will be in the local paper. Depending on her state, and most likely, her LEGAL husband is also responsible for the cc debt that she has ensued since most likely he has benefited as well. The banks will go after the house and any cars they may own. I'm not even going to say "if", I'm going to say "when" they get a court order against them, his pay will be taken and his employer will be notified! For people who seem to worry about apearances, do they really want this?

Here's my 2 cents....it will do no good to lecture or scold at this point. They are probably getting nasty phone calls at all hours of the day (I know I got a call from Bank of America the other day for a van payment that was 6 days late...I just forgot) and that is serious stress for anyone! For her to come clean sounds like she wants some honesty.

If they can swallow their pride, bankruptcy will at least protect some assets and make the phone calls stop. I don't advocate bk at all but unless they are oil barrons with the potential to make a bum load of money fast, they've got to SUCK IT UP and take control of their lives again!!!! AFTER they file, she needs to get a job and her income can go toward all of those expenses the cc's were buying/paying for before.

 

[cseca]

Just curious, have you ever talked to your friend about their kids?
Such as what their kids think about all this?
I don't have any yet (working on it... ), but MY main concerns with having one other than providing roof, food and love would be $ management and education.
Without those how are the kids going to be able to survive in the real world?

 

[lyonsfam6]

It means watching to see what happens, as in watching a movie with pocorn - Silly little thing!!!

I really don't have anythign new to add - but I will offer this - I agree with a PP about wanting absolution - my mom is great for this with me - she will tell me about all the issues she is having and then tell me she is going away with my Dad beacuse they "need" time away - ok Mom whatever......

DH & I are working a program to pay down our debt and in less than 5 years we will no longer owe anyone anything (no NOT Dave Ramsey)- we live by a budget - and I have 3 growing boys who "need" (yeah I went there) shoes and pants just about every 3-4 months, and unfortunatly for me my oldest DS and middle DS are complete opposite body types so I am not able to pass down pants (shorts & shirts sometimes) and by the time my youngest DS would fit into the clothes they will be SO far outdated.....

Oh and before I get flamed for my upcoming WDW trip at Christmas - all paid for all in cash as part of our budget except resort we are DVC owners......

To the OP - I wish you luck, I will pray you find peace and please do not take on the burden of others - you (general) have enough of your own problems to worry about someone else's - No other Monkeys live on my back!!!

I just wanted to say GOOD FOR YOU about the trip! It sounds like you are really trying to live within your budget and a trip to reward yourself...paid for ahead of time...is an awesome way to do it. KUDOS!

 

[d1gitman]

i would tell your friend to contact a bankruptcy attorney. while i don't agree with getting off free and clear, there probably isn't much else they can do. bankruptcy will protect their home.

i know this because i just had a friend go thru this. refinanced the house 3x to consolidate CC and then still racked up an additional $44k in CC's. bankruptcy allowed them to 'wipe the slate clean' and keep their home.

again, i don't condone this, but what else is a person going to do. in my friends case, they have 2 very young children and at least can give them food and shelter.

and we wonder why the economy is in the tanker.

 

[friendofgusgus]

Sorry if this has been posted before, the thread is moving too quickly for me to keep up!

The pool and any other extravagances purchased in the time right before a bankruptcy filing are viewed differently. If they were groceries that might be one thing - but a pool and a vacation will be seen as stealing, since they knew they were on the verge of filing.

People like this really get to me. They are the cases that the lobbyists used to convince Congress to pass tougher bankruptcy legislation. That legislation traps people with medical debts, criminal spouses and other legitimate reasons for bakruptcy into a unwinnable situation.

Sorry for your situation, OP. I must say that I would not have been as patient as you have been, given her history with your dad.

 

[hinodis]

Someone may have already posted this, but before my head explodes, I have to say it. There are these annoying little laws on every states books called "fraud laws". Anytime you purchase something (credit card cash advances count) and you know that your chances are next to nothing to pay them off, then it is fraud. I can't believe that there is a credit company that is still letting her charge if she hasn't paid since October. It will catch up with her and she will end up in jail. There credit score has to be terrible. There is something else going on here because I can't imagine anyone else (pool company) or anyone else loaning them money. Meanwhile, you and I will pay the cost with the higher cost of loans, etc. Time to grow up sweetie and quit living off the world.

They are charging with the cards that are in his name only. I just wish there was something I could say to make her see whaere she is heaeded.

 

[Chicago526]

You know, it's people like your now former friend (i hope it's former anyway! ) that make us want to change the bankruptcy laws to make it harder to file bankruptcy, which in turn makes it harder for people with legitamate problems to file. We all pay higher interest rates. Foreclosed homes lower our house values. It hurts society on a lot of levels.

I think CC companies need to start filing fraud charges. We don't have debtors prison but we do have laws against fraud in this counrty, we need to start using them more I think.

All that said, I don't feel too bad for the CC companies. Any idiot that gives huge lines of credit to someone with no job and a crap credit score deserves what they get!

 

[Kellydelly]

\\

She does not have the credit or assets to get credit cards in her name only if she does not work. They had to have had her husband's information to let her have that much credit. She needs to check her credit report. If her husbands name is on her credit report, his pay is on the line.

They will need to file bankrupcy to keep the house and the cars.
If they both have there name on the house it should be as tenents in the entirity. That way they both own the entire house and it can not be sold to cover just one's bills.

You can open up cc without having your own income/job. The apps just ask what your household income is. I don't work but have opened a couple of store accounts with no problem, and didn't have to use my husband's SS number to do so.

 

[ROIE01581]

You can open up cc without having your own income/job. The apps just ask what your household income is. I don't work but have opened a couple of store accounts with no problem, and didn't have to use my husband's SS number to do so.

they have his ss # already with you applied. They do know who makes the moeny and the credit cards are listed on his credit report as well. Long gone as the days when you could just do it in one name. Before they offer you the card they know who earns the income and how much.

 

[DawnM]

I thought they just made changes to bankruptcy laws and it is harder now to do it. I am not up on the laws about this though.

Dawn

You know, it's people like your now former friend (i hope it's former anyway! ) that make us want to change the bankruptcy laws to make it harder to file bankruptcy, which in turn makes it harder for people with legitamate problems to file. We all pay higher interest rates. Foreclosed homes lower our house values. It hurts society on a lot of levels.

I think CC companies need to start filing fraud charges. We don't have debtors prison but we do have laws against fraud in this counrty, we need to start using them more I think.

All that said, I don't feel too bad for the CC companies. Any idiot that gives huge lines of credit to someone with no job and a crap credit score deserves what they get!

 

[Disfan3]

In regards to the collector who was going to use an old check to get money out of the woman's account...

highly illegal and can be tracked by the bank and what happens is, the FDIC insures the banks and the woman could make a claim to the bank. The FDIC would then put they money back into the bank for her and the person who took the money out would have to prove that she ALLOWED them to take that money.

That was scare tactic if you ask me. It is not legal to do that.

Not saying that she should not pay her bills...she should. But how would the bank system work if anyone who had an old check could just go and take money out of your account?? It can't happen legally.

 

[MEM]

My sister lived like the OP's friend for most of her adult life. Now she is going through a nasty divorce AND trying to send her elder child to college in the Fall. Sis just assumed she and her soon-to-be ex could just take out loans for my niece's education. Unfortunately, both were rejected as co-signers because of their horrible credit histories. Now my sister is asking her mother-in-law and her siblings (she knows better than to ask me, but she did hint) and our Mum to be co-signers. Everyone has refused, so far, but she is playng the sympathy card because my niece leaves for college in a few weeks!!! I told her a long time ago she could not afford a private college ($40K a year) but she was so sure they could come up with the money.

If my sister and her husband had put the $10K in the bank that they spent every year on their country club membership, the education would be paid for. To say nothing of the $600 a month just on take-out food...

Yes, its very sad, but its sounds like the OP's friend is heading toward
the same scenario, assuming she survives the next several years!!

 

[eeyorethegreat]

OP it sounds like you are a very compassionate person. I can tell you really care about your friend but this is not your problem to solve, it is hers and her husbands and the creditors. Please don't spend time worrying about this. This is your friend and her husband's responsibility. Being that she had gone through bankruptcy twice this behavior is nothing new and it will continue to be a behavior pattern for her. What ever you do don't help her beyond giving her a phone # or website where she can get help should they come to their senses. That is more than is required of you then step back and enjoy the good personal decisions you are making in your life.

 

[Momto3Girls&Max]

they have his ss # already with you applied. They do know who makes the moeny and the credit cards are listed on his credit report as well. Long gone as the days when you could just do it in one name. Before they offer you the card they know who earns the income and how much.

They do not have his SS# unless she has provided it and the cars would not appear in his credit history if they are in her name only.

 

[Kellydelly]

they have his ss # already with you applied. They do know who makes the moeny and the credit cards are listed on his credit report as well. Long gone as the days when you could just do it in one name. Before they offer you the card they know who earns the income and how much.

My point was it is easy and very possible to open up cc accounts with no "job," I have no idea if this woman's spouse is listed on her accounts or not.

 

[CarolA]

Just because I was curious.....

How does filing bankruptcy stop other creditor actions against you?
As soon as you file a bankruptcy petition, the court issues an ‘‘automatic stay,’’ which is a legal action that prevents creditors from pursuing collection activities or legal actions against you in an effort to collect debt. If the creditor has seized funds after the petition was filed, in many cases those funds must be returned. Your bankruptcy attorney will explain legal actions that will be taken to recover these funds.

Repeat bankruptcy filers are subjected to different rules under the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2006 (BAPCA). It is very important to consult a bankruptcy attorney regarding how the automatic stay may be handled under the new rules if you previously had a dismissed bankruptcy.

So her "prior expereince" may not be an indication of "future expectations" One of the things I though changed was the "repeat issue"

 

[Handbag Lady]

You know what, as much as I blame the person for racking up $50k plus penalties, you HAVE to blame the credit card companies too for letting them do it.

CC companies are just greedy and they see the interest on that $50k as more money for them.

 

[JonS99]

I was going to say the same thing, people are always critical of people that stiff the CC companies.. It takes two to tango, these companies have chosen to lend money to people with a bad credit history, I say they are getting what they deserve!

 

[ceecee]

My point was it is easy and very possible to open up cc accounts with no "job," I have no idea if this woman's spouse is listed on her accounts or not.

My dog was "pre-approved" for a Mastercard and she's not even a working dog!!! Seriously! When I went to get my van, DH had to be on the loan due to the fact that I was a SAHM, even though I had good credit from before. We just got pre-approved for a house loan and they ran a report for each of us individually and it was the same. All of our CC and loans have been in both names since we were married.

 

[Princess April]

I have a question that is a little off topic... I looked a the credit boards the other night looking for info on my friend's upcoming bankruptcy and I found nothing, in fact the things I did see just made me a little perturbed. People talking about how high their credit score is shortly after their bankruptcy, sharing "bankruptcy friendly" lenders, bashing lenders that were not bankruptcy friendly, etc. you get the point.... any ways, to the point of this "rant" My friend lives in Georgia, they have 4 children between them (ages 10-4) and she is a SAHM and he works as an electrician's helper (appx. $13.00/hr/40 hr. week) She "retired" from where we worked and got $18K (retirement), paid off her van, some cc's and basically have been blowing the rest on family vacations etc. They have 2 cars that are a little older and they (actually he) owns a home (they just purchased in Feb., no $$ down may I add) He has over $20K in cc's, various amounts in student loans, and the house. He's thinking of declaring bankruptcy b/c most of his $$$ goes to pay for the cc's and her money (they are down to 4K now after the trips and lavish b-day parties) is almost gone. She gets food stamps and Medicaid for the family b/c they earn soooo little and she can't possibly work as they have 4 children and the childcare costs would be too high. DH said I sound like I'm jealous but I just can't understand why we are busting our backs to work hard (me 40 hrs. and DH 50 + hrs, retail manager) to pay off our bills when we can just be like sooo many others and just "dump" our debt. (I don't really mean it I will always pay my debts, even if it kills me) What sort of ramifications are they in for if he declares bankruptcy? (Oh, did I mention that they are not married, just simply living together as a family (tax benefits), I will not get on my soap box, we'll save that for another time)

**** OP, sorry to take it over for a min, but I would love to know the answer to this burning question ******