DISbot
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2016
- Messages
- 172
Disclaimer: I do not currently have children, so I am speaking from being on the child's side and what I plan to do which may not end up being what I do.
My parents never involved me in the "household" budget, but from about the time that I could ask them to buy me things on, they involved me in "my" budget. They made it clear they would provide necessities, and that the family would have a vacation or treat when it was in the budget, but never discussed, "we make X dollars, and our household budget is Y". I do think if they had given me this information, I probably would be more stressed at this point about finances for a variety of reasons.
1 - I would worry whether or not they are making/saving enough.
2 - I would compare myself to them (which would have been terrible at 18, thinking things like, "why can't I maintain a budget that lets me save more than X% of my income!". I would not have been able to see the difference between my being a student and them being 30+ years into a career, and would have driven myself insane).
3 - I would continue to compare my success and failures to their expenses and budgets.
4 - I might be more inclined to budget in line with their priorities, rather than developing my own if I had seen their budget my whole life (ex. maybe they valued all the TV channels, where I'd rather put that towards vacation - it might not even occur to me that I don't need TV, because the budget I grew up with always had a line item for that).
What my parents did do was provide opportunities for me to earn money, mandated % savings on found money (half of any gift money went directly into savings which I couldn't touch until 18), required me to save up/earn money for any "extras" I wanted, and taught me how to balance a checkbook and that credit cards aren't free money.
Personally, I think this is a reasonable balanced approach. Kids are observant and will notice if times get tougher or you tighten the budget - they don't need to know numbers. They don't need to help you decide how much goes to vacations vs. TV/internet or other such things. They just need to know "this is how my household is run, when you grow up, you're welcome to run your household differently".
Once they are college-age, I think it is reasonable to discuss affairs should something happen (as you no longer have a guardian for the children who would likely be dealing with things). I still don't know that it is necessary to provide them with details, just "yes, we have a retirement fund set up", and maybe adding them to the will in case of a double-death, or signing some power of attorneys...although this varies greatly based on the child. At 18 I could have handled that responsibility, but my brother may not have been equipped to do the same (so parents of that child may turn to a sibling or something until that child matures more).
My parents never involved me in the "household" budget, but from about the time that I could ask them to buy me things on, they involved me in "my" budget. They made it clear they would provide necessities, and that the family would have a vacation or treat when it was in the budget, but never discussed, "we make X dollars, and our household budget is Y". I do think if they had given me this information, I probably would be more stressed at this point about finances for a variety of reasons.
1 - I would worry whether or not they are making/saving enough.
2 - I would compare myself to them (which would have been terrible at 18, thinking things like, "why can't I maintain a budget that lets me save more than X% of my income!". I would not have been able to see the difference between my being a student and them being 30+ years into a career, and would have driven myself insane).
3 - I would continue to compare my success and failures to their expenses and budgets.
4 - I might be more inclined to budget in line with their priorities, rather than developing my own if I had seen their budget my whole life (ex. maybe they valued all the TV channels, where I'd rather put that towards vacation - it might not even occur to me that I don't need TV, because the budget I grew up with always had a line item for that).
What my parents did do was provide opportunities for me to earn money, mandated % savings on found money (half of any gift money went directly into savings which I couldn't touch until 18), required me to save up/earn money for any "extras" I wanted, and taught me how to balance a checkbook and that credit cards aren't free money.
Personally, I think this is a reasonable balanced approach. Kids are observant and will notice if times get tougher or you tighten the budget - they don't need to know numbers. They don't need to help you decide how much goes to vacations vs. TV/internet or other such things. They just need to know "this is how my household is run, when you grow up, you're welcome to run your household differently".
Once they are college-age, I think it is reasonable to discuss affairs should something happen (as you no longer have a guardian for the children who would likely be dealing with things). I still don't know that it is necessary to provide them with details, just "yes, we have a retirement fund set up", and maybe adding them to the will in case of a double-death, or signing some power of attorneys...although this varies greatly based on the child. At 18 I could have handled that responsibility, but my brother may not have been equipped to do the same (so parents of that child may turn to a sibling or something until that child matures more).
