We had read some good things about the vegetarian options here, and the appetizers looked so good! So we were really looking forward to this ADR.
We arrived for our 5:30 ADR around 5:20. We checked in...there was a woman being trained who seemed like she might have been friendly had the trainer not been there; the trainer looked at best indifferent and more likely annoyed to have to 1. train the other CM, and 2. deal with guests. So, after a cool experience at check in, we sat uncomfortably for almost 10 minutes before being shown to a table by a (very elderly) man.
So we walked into the dining room, which was empty except one other party, and guess where they tried to put us? Next to the kitchen and a hallway, at a tiny (two person) table. We looked at each other, concurring this wouldn't do (especially in an empty restaurant---which, btw, stayed more or less empty in the main dining room the entire time we were there). So one of us (me, maybe?) asked if there was a different table available...the man (very apathetically) said, "I guess you could have that table", gesturing to the booth across from the tiny table. We still had hope for this place, and the booth was an improvement, so we sat.
And sat. And sat a little longer. Finally, our waiter,
Onsi (you're going to want to remember this name), showed up to take our drink orders. My sister and I had vanilla shakes (it's the
DDP, we went nuts!), and my mom had iced tea:
Oh, and the empty restaurant:
We mentioned to Onsi that we were vegetarians, and he sent a chef out. Chef Dan came over and asked if we were vegans or lacto-ovo, and then said, "okay, so we're going to surprise you then?" We'd heard that they like to "cook for you" and make elaborate entrees for vegetarians so we said okay.
We sat awhile longer, wondering when Onsi might return to refill our water (also not icky FL water, btw), bring the famous bread and dipping oil, and take our appetizer orders.
Yeah, that didn't happen. After awhile, Chef Dan came out with an appetizer platter. We thought we'd been talking entree, as there was no need for anything special for an appetizer (they've got, like, 4 things on the appetizer menu!). So, not only were we not on the same page, it was not anything special, nor was it what we would have ordered had we had a chance. In Chef Dan's defense, I think he meant well, but I think Onsi had just kind of thrown us on him.
ANYWAY...what Chef Dan brought was this:
Flatbread - with olive tapanade, red and yellow tomatoes, fresh mozzarella cheese; Greek Salad
The flatbread was something we would have wanted, and it was delicious. We absolutely wouldn't have ordered the Greek Salad (which we got two orders of, btw), and we'd have been right---the Greek Salad had WAY too much pepperoncini (but tasty olives, per my mom). It may have been good with more cucumber and tomato. Oh, and did I mention our water was STILL empty as we were eating this pepperoncini?
Eventually another waiter (we were not in his section, he was just kind of watching and looking sad for us) noticed that our glasses were empty and we never got bread, so he gave us refills and brought us bread and oil:
I think it was over 30 minutes before we saw Onsi again. He finally returned, after Chef Dan served us our appetizer and not-our-waiter gave us bread and water, to ask if we'd be having pasta for our entree. I politely told him that we thought that was what we'd talked to Chef Dan about, and that the appetizers were a surprise. I also asked if we could have the Mediterranean Dips since the Greek Salad was really not what we'd had in mind. He said of course, we could have whatever we wanted. I mentioned that we'd read that they'd do a "vegetarian tour" of the sides for an entree. He said okay, so you want the platter. Okay, sounds good. He then disappeared again.
At some point in this, Charlie, one of the hosts, came over and informed us that they had a large party in the next room and so they were a little swamped. Not in a "sorry we're not taking care of you" way, but in a "be glad you're getting our attention at all" way. So, he refilled our water and cleared my shake and my sister's shake (which she hadn't actually finished yet). We asked about refills, which I assumed there weren't, and there weren't (although no one had told us that, as they had in other restaurants---I don't think they should assume you know as I probably would have been disappointed had I not known). Anyway, he talked about a refill for my mom's iced tea...then asked if we wanted refills? We asked again if they were included...no, they're not. I think you had to be there, but this was just a WEIRD conversation. I can't really express to you what an absolute jerk Charlie was, but he was condescending and we had the distinct impression that being women wasn't helping us any.
Anyway, eventually someone (don't remember who) brought out our platter and said Chef Dan would be out to tell us what was on it. We waited a few minutes and decided to dig in. Here's the big platter, after we dug in (sorry, forgot!):
Sweet Potato Fries, Hearts Palm Salad, Gnocchi, Roasted Vegetable Stew, Mushrooms with Fennel & Spinach (?), Toasted Couscous
And on my plate:
Mushrooms with fennel & spinach, toasted couscous, sweet potato fry, roasted veg. stew, hearts of palm salad, gnocchi
Chef Dan (who really was nice, and, along with the not-our-waiter who gave us water and sympathetic glances, made the experience not entirely awful) came out and told us what was what.
We ate and it was all pretty good. The gnocchi was not nearly as good as I expected, nor was the toasted couscous. Hearts of palm salad was good but not super-flavorful. The mushrooms and fennel were good, and I don't usually like mushrooms (although I think this dish may have been the source of some digestive problems later on). The sweet potato fries were wonderful and we'll be making them at home. The vegetable stew...was okay, but not all of the veggies tasted fresh (at ALL).
So, it all seemed decent while we were eating it, but later that night, I felt just gross and couldn't imagine eating any of it EVER AGAIN. I had a killer headache

(which I never get in Florida---really ought to move there!) and my stomach felt just awful, and this was the only place I really felt truly crummy after having eaten in

But it could have been the stress.
It's hard to say whether it tasted good at the time or if we just thought it did because Chef Dan was one of the few CMs there that treated us like valued guests, and we wanted to like the food because we liked him.
So, you'll notice Onsi never showed up with the dips.
Anyway, Charlie came back to take away the platter and take dessert orders. The dessert platter is not included here...again, not surprised, but this will become of interest later on.
After we asked how different dessert options were, Charlie gave us some rather schmucky, condescending answers (the creme brulee comes with a "cookie" rather than "biscotti"...I think maybe you needed to hear the inflection on that---I swear, I'm not just enjoying my whine and cheese

here).
So, we got 2 vanilla bean creme brulees with berries and "cookies" and one Chocolate Apricot Cake with Raspberry Sorbet.
The creme brulee...what can I say...the raspberries were delicious! My mom thought the creme brulee was good, although not nearly as good as Charlie represented it as being. I thought it was actually kind of on the bland side. Probably one of the weakest desserts of the week (with the
possible exception of Boma). The cookie/biscotti was a sad piece of pastry, whatever it was. It wasn't offensively bad or anything, it was just not worth the calories I'm sure it had.
The chocolate apricot pistachio cake...what can I say...the raspberries were delicious! According to my sister, the chocolate apricot pistachio cake was "too sweet." I had a bite and that was more than I needed. She says the sorbet was "fine. That's something that's kind of hard to screw up."
So NOW Onsi reappears to bring the bill and get our card for the dining plan. Guess what was on the bill? The Mediterranean Dips we never saw. And an extra order of iced tea, which we never even ASKED for. I might have thought this was an honest mistake if I hadn't been so negatively impressed with the less-than-dynamic duo of Onsi & Charlie up to this point...I suspect that they were trying to up the tip (since it's included) without being TOO obvious (each little bit adds up, you know). We didn't waste time dealing with this at Disney, but we will be contacting someone (???) now that we're home.
Additionally, if they can charge those extras that we didn't even get, why couldn't we have gotten refills on the shakes, or have been offered the chance to switch to a regular beverage (since they charged Disney for one anyway!)? Why didn't we actually get the dips? And why, if they can ring that stuff up, couldn't we get the dessert platter, especially since we had a cheap entree & appetizers? Now, did we need any of this stuff? No, not really, but if they CAN ring things up to benefit themselves, why not let the guest have these things?
Sad thing for them is, we WOULD have left an extra tip if we'd had good service, which would have been more than the extra $1 they got by adding things we didn't have to Disney's tab.
Also, this was quite possibly the LOUDEST restaurant we went to all week (including our THREE character meals), even though there were hardly any other diners.
So, in conclusion: Charlie was a total jerk. Onsi seemed like a nice enough guy, but he didn't give a rip about doing his job. Not-our-waiter was going to do his job and their jobs well, even though there was no gain involved for him. Chef Dan was very nice; we saw him WAY more often than our waiter. But we'll still not be going back, possibly ever, and Boardwalk is no longer on our "want to stay" list.
Oh, and a little note: there were bugs being born in one of the rusty faucets in the restrooms there, too. I don't think there's an emoticon for that one.
The boat couldn't leave fast enough:
You'll see where what would have been Onsi's extra tip went in tomorrow's reviews, when we receive impeccable service from Lisa at Chefs de France.