FIL has pancreatic cancer - Update - he has passed

[mickeyboat]

My FIL was diagnosed with advanced stage pancreatic cancer. There is no hope for a cure. We are understandably devastated as he is a part of our everyday lives and DH's and DD9's best friend.

His doctor has suggested a chemo treatment called Gemzar. It is not a cure, just a palliative measure to give him some more time and to help make him feel less pain.

My research on Gemzar is that it seems not to have the same horrible side effects often associated with chemo. I looked at some cancer message boards and patients reported few bad effects. The doctor feels FIL will do well on it - the most likely side effect will be fatigue.

But FIL watched his wife suffer through 13 years of breast cancer chemo and radiation before she died 7 years ago, and I think he is really afraid of this chemo. He went in for a treatment last week but was unable to take it because his blood pressure was too low and his liver function was not good.

He is scheduled for another treatment today, and called DH this morning and asked him to drive him because he had taken some meds last night for pain and to help him sleep, and I think he was concerned about driving today, even though the doctor said he should not need a ride home after his treatment.

So I am wondering if any of you have had family members who have taken Gemzar (it is also used for advanced ovarian, breast cancer, etc.), and if you know what kind of side effects they experienced.

I could also use some hugs, since this is a terribly difficult time for our family.

Thanks,
Denae

 

[Darsa]

Denae, I am so so sorry you are having to go through this; my heart breaks for you and your family I and my family will be thinking of you and yours

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'm sorry to hear this. There are some people on the Coping and Compassion Board who've experienced pancreatic cancer w/ their loved ones. They might be able to help answer your questions.

It's understandable why your FIL would feel that way after seeing what his wife endured. It's probably been his worst nightmare. Give him a little time to digest the information. He may feel differently a week from now then he does today.

 

[pearlieq]

I'm so sorry for you and your FIL. I hope his time can be comfortable and full of loving family and friends.

My mom has advanced breast cancer and had a couple of cycles of Gemzar. What I remember about that one was that it really lowered her blood counts and she wound up needing transfusions, which is really no big deal, it just means a long day at the treatment center.

I can't remember for sure (my mom had at least 6 different drugs in 18 months), but I think it might have been one of the ones that caused her white blood cell counts to drop as well. She had to be hospitalized for about a week and a half when that happened, but it wasn't too bad.

She had the standard set of chemo side effects--nausea, loss of appetite, feeling very tired--but nothing out of the ordinary.

I hope he tolerates it well and that he gets a good benefit from it.

 

[zalansky]

Denae - many, many hugs. I lost my mom to PC years ago and she was on chemo and I think it was the same one you mentioned. Like your FIL, it was purely palliative. But looking back I am not sure if it was the best thing for her. I don't know how old your FIL is, my mom was 62 - young but not young and strong anymore. She had a really tough time with the chemo. Lost her appetite completely. All she did was force herself to drink those Ensure drinks here and there. She was bedridden for days after treatment. I can't speak to driving because my father always drove her to and from treatments. Sure, maybe the chemo gave her an extra 2, 3 or even 4 months - but it made her so sick I am not sure it was worth it. Know what I mean?

I am so sorry your family is going through this. Its truly heartbreaking and to happen at the holidays makes it all the harder. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

The best thing I can say is just be there for your FIL. Stay strong, he will need you to be. We're here for you.

 

[mickeyboat]

Thanks everyone. Yes, Gemzar can have the effect of lowering blood counts.

FIL initially decided that he would try at least one course of Gemzar and see how he feels. If he feels horrible, he will discontinue it. He absolutely does not want to be sick. But he does not deal well with pain, either and I think the doctor hopes this chemo will lesson that too.

He is 71 and has a whole host of other health concerns - heart, diabetes, frequent bowel obstructions, kidney stones, etc. He had pancreatitis 13 years ago which is a risk factor for pancreatic cancer. This is not a huge surprise to us, he has lost a significant amount of weight over the last year, but it's tough nonetheless.

 

[maroo]

Hugs to all of you.

The drugs used to counteract the side effects of chemotherapy have improved remarkably over the past several years.

They can now prevent a lot of the problems associated with almost all chemotherapy treatments with some pre-planning.

I hope he does well with the treatment and it helps all of you.

I hope you enjoy this Holiday Season - despite the difficulties and are able to spend some quality time with your family.

 

[Tantor]

Hugs to you My FIL passed away from pacreatic cancer 6 years ago, miss him every day

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The drugs used to counteract the side effects of chemotherapy have improved remarkably over the past several years.

They can now prevent a lot of the problems associated with almost all chemotherapy treatments with some pre-planning.

I agree with this. Having gone through chemo myself, I know how awful it can be. But I was put on a pretty rigid regimen of antiemetics and that helped make it relatively tolerable (with the exception of a few days here and there that were barely tolerable, which, given the fact that I'm still here made it all worth it in the long run). Horror stories from chemo of years ago (and some today, absolutely) still abound, though.

I also think that you can give the same drug to different people and they'll all be a little different in their reactions and tolerance (as a hospital nurse I can attest to this). You may get people here that say their loved ones did just fine with it, some that say it was a nightmare, and some that say it was bad but worth it, etc. Experiences will vary. But it's one of those things you really don't know until you try. I do agree with quality vs quantity in some cases, but most people want to at least give it a try if it will help give them more time with their loved ones. YMMV.

It does sound to me that your FIL's oncologist has taken FIL's health and past experiences into account in making the decision to give this drug a try. I'd be pretty secure in the knowledge that, given his vast experiences with all types of patients with cancer, it's a reasonable plan. One of the questions you/FIL could ask the oncologist is how will side effects be managed?

 

[nhpooh]

 

[mickeyboat]

We really like his oncologist and he has been clear that making FIL as comfortable as possible will be his primary goal. There is a palliative care team at his hospital which focuses on symptom management. They are available 24/7 to prescribe whatever meds will be necessary. There are also social workers on the team to help with Medicare, Advanced Directives and Hospice.

I just visited the Caring and Compassion Board and I will probably post over there some when things get real bad. I am personally having a rough time with some other things right now (job, lack of exercise, Christmas, having company all the time, trying to be supportive to DH, DDs and my other in-laws), and will be able to use the support of people who have BTDT while this is happening.

 

[ogreenlee]

my heart goes out to you, as my father died of pancreatic cancer. it was heartbreaking to watch him go through it (he survived two years). he did say that he wished he wouldn't have tried so hard to live because it was more than any person should endure.

then my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last august. she died in december. she took no chemo treatments because she did not want to deteriorate to the point my father did. she was eating until her last days. i think she was thankful for this, b/c besides the pain from the cancer, she was able to live decently until her last days. i'm certain my father would have wished he could have done the same.

I wish your family much peace during this difficult time. I'm very sorry.

 

[Micca]

This is a tough one Mickeyboat. Hang in there.

 

[mickeyboat]

I spoke with DH this afternoon, and they are going ahead with the treatment today - at a slightly lower dosage. His bilirubin levels were a little high, so they didn't want to do the whole dose, but the oncologist hopes that they will improve after the chemo treatment. His white blood cell count was a little high, too and they are giving him some antibiotics to stave off whatever he might be getting.

DH's sister is here from PA for a couple of days which will really help out.

I am feeling a lot better this afternoon. I have a job interview today for a job I really want. It's probably not a good time to switch jobs with all of this going on, but I have needed to get out of here for a long time. Wish me luck.

 

[C.Ann]

Can't help you with that particular chemo treatment, but wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that this is happening in your family.. I will keep all of you in my prayers..

 

[zalansky]

I spoke with DH this afternoon, and they are going ahead with the treatment today - at a slightly lower dosage. His bilirubin levels were a little high, so they didn't want to do the whole dose, but the oncologist hopes that they will improve after the chemo treatment. His white blood cell count was a little high, too and they are giving him some antibiotics to stave off whatever he might be getting.

DH's sister is here from PA for a couple of days which will really help out.

I am feeling a lot better this afternoon. I have a job interview today for a job I really want. It's probably not a good time to switch jobs with all of this going on, but I have needed to get out of here for a long time. Wish me luck.

Lots of luck Denae!

 

[princess pooh]

I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to your family

I really hope you get the job and have something good to look forward to.

 

[antmaril]

I am so sorry your father-in-law has received this diagnosis.

I lost my husband (age 55) to pancreatic cancer last year. He was diagnosed in November, 2007 and passed away in July, 2008. He was on Gemzar and Tarceva. He tolerated the Gemzar pretty well. He would have a treatment on Monday and by Wednesday he would begin to feel very tired. He usually spent Thursday in bed and would start to feel a little better on Friday. They gave him anti-nausea medicine along with the chemo, so he really wasn't sick. It was mostly fatigue. In addition, he had very little appetite so it was always a struggle to get him to eat.

Pancreatic cancer is a very difficult cancer. I will keep your family in my prayers.

 

[jam217]

Sorry to hear what you're going through. Tomorrow it will be a year that my mom passed away from pancreatic cancer.

 

[NCRedding]

I lost my brother to pancreatic cancer after he was diagnosed for only 37 days. He had one round og Gemzar and tolerated it well. You will be in my prayers. It is a horrible disease.