Feeling guilty about taking kids out of school for vacation.

[Longsx3]

Here is another perspective:
We are Military and currently live overseas. Last Jan. I had the opportunity to take DD, currently 3rd grade, out of school for 2 1/2 weeks to travel to Florida to visit family. Because she is currently attending a DOD School they have a very liberal absence policy and it wasn't not an issue...and sh had a perfect report card. This year we have been given the opportunity to go home to Florida for Christmas, DD will miss the week before and the week after Christmas Break. For us this Family time is important, most of our relatives we only see when we go home fortunately this year it has been frequent however we don't expect to be back in Florida until Dec 2006...unless the Air Force Assignment Gods send us there in July 2006. Also with the fact that my husband may be deploying for 4months this is a great opportunity for us to be together a family before he leaves. While we do value formal education it is amazing what a child can learn by spending a week with a Grandparent.

 

[paigevz]

and I am also a mother. So, I think I'll throw in what I think here, and you can take it or leave it as you wish.

As a teacher, I do provide ahead of time work if I'm given enough time to get it together, but I always do make sure the parent understands that the work I am sending is not all that would be done in school, and there are some things he simply must do in class........he will miss these things entirely. If the parent is involved enough, I will give instructions on how to introduce some of these concepts/activities if it's even doable at home. However, I do see the value in going somewhere like Disney, where he will be having other experiences that he will not have in the classroom. Basically, I would want mine practicing their writing skills, so would probably assign him to write up a report on an attraction, perhaps telling me some facts and opinions involved in it..........would want him to practice reading, so would probably send send a print-out of our story for the week for that in addition to whatever he might read at the parks.........would want him to use map reading, so he'd need to be the "navigator" at the park.........would want him to practice math, so he could pay for counter service food and calculate the change due him and would also need to do some nightly flashcards/worksheets to keep the facts skills sharp.........would want some science concepts covered, and a list/report of what was covered.......would probably assign a list of things to look for in the area we are studying..................bringing back a craft and pictures of examples of architecture and native dress from WS country would be good for social studies..........................in addition, I'd probably assign spelling words.......there'd likely be a page a day plus regular homework, and vocabulary words to learn, and perhaps some grammar work. That does look like a lot, but really, these are things covered in a week of in-class. We don't just do nothing all day! Plus, I don't do "busy work".......everything I do is done to practice or learn a procedure, concept or skill. This would keep him up with the class and would give him a Disney spin on the work. I would much rather send this with him and have him come back ready to only make up his spelling, reading comprehension and vocabulary tests, and have the rest to give me to take the place of the written work and class discussions we did, than have to try to catch him up when he gets back......................how much time a day it would take would be directly influenced by how much help/supervision he had, how tired he was when doing it, how distracted, etc........but I'd think 1/2 hour for reading, grammar, spelling/vocab, math, and then probably 1/2 hour a day for the bigger projects.........so 2 1/2 to 3 hours a day.

Now, as a mother, I would take my son out of school if the trip was already scheduled and/or I had to go at that time due to other circumstances...........I would probably try to get the daily work about half in the morning, and about half at our noon rest time.........I'd then spend a bit of time in the evenings doing the projects, just taking notes mostly and outlining, and then let him write them up at home when we got back. I would feel very inconvenienced having to have him do work when I want to be on vacation, but I'd also be very happy to have him all caught up when he got back. If I were to sit with him, and make sure he was doing it, he'd get done faster and learn more as we talked about it.

That's my take on it...............probably not a popular view, but a week of school is a week of school............not easily skipped especially in elementary.........jr. high and high school could actually do their work before/after the trip...........but elementary students need daily practice to keep up. I think a policy of doing it when you get back is detrimental. He doesn't get his daily practice, that way, and heaping loads of work on top of daily practice doesn't teach him anything...........kids will "zone out" when given too much..........there's a fine line in there as to when work isn't enough for optimum learning and when it's too much. With that policy, they do both too little and too much. If that was my son's policy, I don't believe I'd take him out in future for that time of year.

Feel free to write up portions of this post in your words and ask that it be included in his file and/or send a copy to the Administrative attendance department (not just the local school), and the Administrative Department for Curriculum and Instruction, as well as a copy to school attendance clerk, principal and teacher. Make yourself heard.

 

[DizMom11]

When I take my kids out of school, I make it crystal clear to the teachers/schools that this was my decision. It was not decided on by my children, therfore they are not to be made to feel punished in any way. I let them know that if the have any issue with my decision as a parent, then they should deal with me directly, and no to hold it against my children in any way. On the flip side, I do my best to assist them in making up any work. And if they are unable to 100% make up any work, no big deal, life goes on.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Originally posted by DizMom11
When I take my kids out of school, I make it crystal clear to the teachers/schools that this was my decision. It was not decided on by my children, therfore they are not to be made to feel punished in any way. I let them know that if the have any issue with my decision as a parent, then they should deal with me directly, and no to hold it against my children in any way. On the flip side, I do my best to assist them in making up any work. And if they are unable to 100% make up any work, no big deal, life goes on.

I like that! In my case I left the decision up to my 11yo son and he jumped at the chance. I let him decide if he wanted to spend 4 days at WDW and miss one day of school (they have one teacher in-service day and therefore have a 3 day weekend, anyway) or spend 5 days at WDW and miss two days of school. He jumped at the 5 days at WDW.

I just e-mailed his math teacher and found out when the semester final will be so I won't be interfering with that. He'll miss the last day of the marking period (hopefully he won't miss any other test--the kids very often spend the day watching movies, anyway, on that day...) and the first day of the new semester.

We've made a very well thought out decision, rarely pull the kids out of school, and am working with the school calendar. My high schoolers really can't miss school so it will only be a mom/son trip.

T&B

 

[Lives4Disney]

It makes me sad when I read about people feeling guilty for taking their children out of school. There isn't any replacement for family time. Sometimes we need that break even if school is in session. Life is too short and time moves too fast these days. We do take our kids out of school for vacations. Now that I have an 8th grader it is much harder. He just misses a couple of days here and there. We try and make up the work with him, and do the best we can with the teachers.

We found out two years ago that my daughter (now 8) is losing her eyesight. We feel like we have to show her so many things. We go to Disneyworld every year, went to Puerto Rico to walk in a rain forest, see an amazing cave system, the Grand Canyon, visit Hawaii and plan on going to Europe when we can. You just never know what tomorrow will hit you with. Schools make parents feel bad about the decision to do this, but for my kids and I it so much more important to take the time to be together and make memories that will last forever. I have 3 kids and people consistently comment on how WONDERFUL they are and how nice they are to eachother. I believe it does have to do with taking the time to build strong bonds and relationships. Twenty years from now they won't remember what they did in the fall of 2004 in school, but they will hopefully remember having Thanksgiving dinner in the WL and seeing the decorations and the other great Xmas things. It's important to remember family first. Of course, I am not trying to take away from school's value, but sometimes the teachers get so wrapped up in classwork they forget that learning happens outside of school, too.

There is so much to see!!

 

[BonSchwe]

We were down in May and we took DS13 and DD12 out of school for 8 days with the teachers blessing. I made up a letter of explanation about our trip and made a copy for every teacher and the principal. I sent them to school approx. one-month before leaving and I got much positive feedback about letting them know ahead of time. They got a lot of their work done ahead of time so they weren't overwhelmed when we got back. The memory of DS13 (who is going thru the stage of "nothing's cool, everythings dumb, that's stupid") at the HoopDeDu Revue laughing his head off from start to finish at the good clean fun, the memory of DD12 and I having a day of pampering at the Grand Floridian, and the memory of the look on my DS4 face at Typhoon Lagoon with the waves bearing down on him ( for the 1200th time) far outweighed the reservations I had about taking them out of school. You only live once and their only young once.

 

[DizMom11]

Amen to that! Family comes first, and only you and your family can decide what is for the best. Many of lifes important decisions and experiences are learned outside of the classroom. You have the right attitude "Lives4Disney", all the best to you and your "Ohana".

 

[Judy from Boise]

Why in the world do ist graders have homework ! How stupid is that !

My DD is in 8th grade this year and we have, without fail, taken her out of school for a week each year for family vacation.

Do not feel guilty.

 

[rapunzal]

I just took my kids out for four days. The teachers were great. My kids did their work during down time and wrote their journals each day. I have a third and first grader. My third grader did miss a test which she is making up on Tuesday. They might have learned the new lessons a lot easier because they had the one -on- one instruction. I am a firm believer in family time. Life goes so fast in the daily schedules that we follow. Last year my husband had a seizure at work and we then found out he had a non-cancerous tumor the size of a golf ball in the front part of his head. He had a 12 hour operation . He is perfectly fine now! I have always lived my life to the fullest and enjoyed and have done everything that was possible...I believe it is important to spend time with family...it is so hard because Dad does have a full time job. But this Disney vacation we just took was one of our Best! You never know what life will throw at you, enjoy the fun and make the memories!

 

[Mom to Jordan]

There have been so many good ideas here. Guilt should not be an issue. The child is in 1st grade!!! For a first grader, life is educational. Yes, there will be things in the class she will miss, BUT there are so many more things that she will experence at WDW.
When we took DS out in 1st grade he had NO make up work. Last year he had NO make up work in 5th grade. He had a little in 4th and quite a lot in 3rd. He was however given the work ahead of time and we did much of it before we went. We have found doing homework at WDW does NOT work for us.
I think as one poster said it is very important to remember that your child had NO say in any of this. Of course she wanted to go to WDW but she had no part in deciding when and whether she would miss school.
Explain to her how you feel about this family trip and tell her you are sorry if it is hard to make up some extra work. Then "HELP" her as much as possible. .

The WORST thing that could happen would be that she got a lower grade on her report card. Our 1st grades only get + or- anyway. There is no reason to be concerned about a low grade in first grade. I am not a fan of "grades" before 3rd grade. However make sure she understands what you expect from her but also that she understands you just do not agree with the school on the family trip policy.

Long story to say. GO- ENJOY and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY.


Jordans' mom

 

[bytheblood]

If you feel guilty - simply don't do it.

 

[i like stitch]

When I've taken my child out of school for trips, I've engaged the principal in the decision making many, many months in advanced and then I approach the teacher. This has worked well but then again, the school was supportive of the trips. It also helps if your children are doing well in school.

Since your trip is already planned, if I were in you shoes, I'd try to dump the guilt so you have can look forward to your trip. Look at it this way, in five years will you still be thinking about taking your kids out of school or thinking about the wonderful memories you had of being with them on the trip?

Have a fun time (both in getting ready and during the trip itself)!

 

[Sandyincanada]

We've taken our kids out for a week every year for the last several years. One is now graduated and the other in Grade 10. Once in awhile, its a small struggle to catch up but not a real biggie and we make sure we do not go near exam time. I wouldn't even think twice in elementary school unless they are struggling.

Do I feel guilty? Not in the least, these memories far outlast any school memory they have and they have learned so much in some of our trips to 3rd world countries. OK, maybe I feel a twinge of guilt when we go to DW since its really a just pleasure trip but it keeps our family close.

 

[HollyJoy]

We were originally going to go to WDW over the Thanksgiving Break (the kids normally get out only two days), so since I figured we'd have to take them out of school for 3 days, we might as well go a week later and avoid the crowds, so we are going from 12/4- 12/10. Well, wouldn't you know it, this year they are out of school the ENTIRE WEEK OF THANKSGIVING! Ugh! I've talked to both of the girls teachers, and they are fine with it. They will have each girl keep a journal and write about their trip, and the second grade teacher will send along as much work as she can. I even talked to the Principal, who isnt' thrilled that I'm taking them out, but not giving me a hard time about it.

Dont' worry about it. Have a good time.

 

[mom23boys]

I would not feel guilty taking my 1st grader out of school for a week.

That being said, we took our 4th grader out of school last year, the other two were not in school yet. He did have a hard time with the make up work, but his teachers gave him ample time to get it done.

We had planned to go in Oct 2005, but when we asked him how he felt about that, he will be in 6th grade, he did not want to miss school. So we will have to go the last week in August. I would love to pull him out for a week, but I think he made the right descision for him.

I think every family has to make their own decision on what is right for their children, I really thought he would be thrilled to miss school, but I understand his take on this.

Good Luck.

 

[4mickeyfans]

Hands, down....go, and without guilt.

Will your child miss an incredible amount of essential classroom instruction? Definitely.

Will the benefits of learning in cross-curricular, whole language, hands-on approach found only in the likes of WDW far outweigh what's missed? Absolutely!

I wouldn't concentrate too much on "making up" school work during the vacation - it's just not going to happen with a 1st grader

All things considered, even though we all may agree that a WDW trip can teach much more that one week in school, rules are made for a reason and sometimes there are stiff penalties for those of us who like to bend them (I am most definitely in this group!). If your teachers and school administrators are strict about this, the trip may not be worth the stress they can impose. You definitely do not want your child in a setting where the adults think his parents don't make school a priority. Right or wrong, they're in charge!

I'm lucky - my principal sees things the way I do. In fact, her response to a scheduled trip for one of my students...

"In 10 years, she won't remember what she learned that week in school, but she will remember Disney World!" I told her I wouldn't take it personally because of course everything I say in the classroom is memorable I also told her I wouldn't put her name in print or she'd deny saying this!!

For those of you questioning first grade material, what needs to be made up, and the necessity of homework, I must say this:

The skills learned in 1st grade MUST be mastered - you simply can't succeed without the basics. Fortunately, these "basics" are reviewed and repeated and retaught and reinforced, and well...you get the idea! If a child misses a week, his grades may suffer for that grading period but he will encounter the concepts again and should be up to speed within a couple of months. In other words, if grades are important to you, don't miss. Otherwise, a capable child should have no trouble catching up eventually.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

I wouldnt feel bad..my parents took me out throughout school....even into high school...i always got all my work caught up and graduated with all As...My teachers always gave me work before, but even the few that woudl give me work later, i would get it all done easily.
Next semester, in Feb, i am even taking a week off during college to go on vacation..i will be missing 3 days and im not even worrieed about it
alli know is those vacation with my family mean everything to me...i wouldnt have missed it for the world

 

[Poohbearfan]

My daughter is in the third grade. This will actually be the first year that we haven't taken her out of school for our vacation. What we were told was that she is our child and the school cannot say anything about us taking her out for that time. She did take some work with her and she was asked to write a daily journal of what we did. That was very enjoyable for her and also a great keepsake of our trip.
I agree that the memories that you make on this trip will be forever with your son and something that you will always have as a family. His work can be made up!
I say go on vacation have the time of your life and don't feel guilty.
Enjoy every moment you can why they are young because they are only young once!
Have a great time!

Shelly

 

[Gabrielle]

My experience is, that it's ok in grade school but once middle school kicks in around 6th grade, it's hard on the kids to make it up. I don't regret the times I took my kids out in grade school.

I also don't think teachers should have to go to extra trouble for kids on vacation. I think that's a responsibility the parent should shoulder - to teach the kids what they missed.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Originally posted by Gabrielle
I also don't think teachers should have to go to extra trouble for kids on vacation. I think that's a responsibility the parent should shoulder - to teach the kids what they missed.

I agree. There is nothing going on at that level that the parent shouldn't be able to teach or reinforce.