Farting Etiquette

[funkychunkymonkey]

My freinds grandpa used to tip slightly to the side to lift his butt off the seat to fart. It was SOO gross and stinky.

 

[Imzadi]

I can't believe I missed this thread!! I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe!!

What do you mean you MISSED this thread?
Were you here in April 2008 under another screenname?

 

[Elmo9607]

What do you mean you MISSED this thread?
Were you here in April 2008 under another screenname?

No no, I joined in March of this year. I went through all the old threads so I could see what had already been posted. I seem to have missed this one as I was going through the first time.

 

[cybrkitn]

I like to leave people special gifts on the elevator as I exit.

DH had done that while with a friend of his. I don't know if it was the sound, or the smell, but the elevator alarm went off right after he did it

 

[Mary•Poppins]

Being the only female in my house, I have a funny story.

My youngest at the time, he was 5, asked me in front of my husband if I farted. Now mind you, my husband and my 2 other sons at home are quite proud of their farts and let them rip .... So I casually told my son that girls don't fart. I said this very seriously. My husband had to walk into the other room so he wouldn't laugh.

So, my son comes home from kindergarten and tells me that girls must fart because Bella (in his classroom) was sitting on the rug in front of him and he heard her fart. I told him that this was probably some boy sitting next to her. Was he sure??? He looked quite puzzled but went with it.

Then, he went on a sleepover to his godmom's house and while they were going to bed, he asks her if girl's fart? Well my good friend lets the jig up! She turns the conversation into a biology lesson on how your body works. My son nearly tackled me when I picked him up ... in order to tell me that girls do fart!

Now, years later, when one slips ... he will always say, "I knew girls farted!"

 

[skhermsmeyer]

Just the title of this thread made me laugh out loud! I needed that today! THANKS!

 

[Krazy 4 da Mouse]

I'm just glad to know my family is "normal". My DH is a very proud farter! I've experienced it all, the elevator, the store aisle, the dutch oven, all of them!

 

[harleyquinn]

Wow, a blast from the past. Haha, that was a little fart joke right there!!

Hi, not Northern between three and five not maybe!!! We miss you!!

Ditto!

 

[MulanUSAF]

Oh wow, this is the funniest thread on the DIS board I've ever seen! One time I let one go when I was tuning my violin. The digital tuner was on and my fart registered as a perfect "E". Imagine me standing on the director stand before a concert and tuning the entire symphony with my "hiney symphony".

Keep 'em coming! <insert gas mask smilie>

 

[Tinkerbell58]

When I sneeze, I also tend to fart. My family calls it the sneeze-n-fart.

We call this a snart!

This thread is hilarious!

 

[marlynnp]

I was reading a news story today and an ad for this was in the sidebar ~

http://www.bettermarriageblanket.com/

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I always get the Dutch Oven too
....but my Dad always said....you know its love when you could fart in front of each other.

 

[Darsa]

DH has tried the Dutch Oven on me, so far unsuccessful

Our family fartiquette is: "As long as it's not at the dinner table, don't hold back." DD has intestinal issues that causes lotsa pain if she tries to... "withhold".

 

[Pikester]

My DS12 can fart like nobodies business. He has all these special poses that he does to get the best sound from it. The other night he let a big one rip and says to me "Did you hear the orchestra coming out of my butt? (then a pause) It's mostly made up of trumpets!" Took all I could do not to roll around on the floor laughing!

 

[Erik_in_TN]

"Did you hear the orchestra coming out of my butt? (then a pause) It's mostly made up of trumpets!" Took all I could do not to roll around on the floor laughing!

Epic.

Our family rule on the subject is: Make it silent if in public, and always ALWAYS make sure it can easibly be blamed on someone else.

 

[amberg@eastlink.ca]

my story from the 19th of april...waiting to be loaded onto dumbo...dude behind me- big and loud, with a southern drawl- no offense to anyone- yells out some people should just keep that stuff inside...mean time his poor wife is telling him to be quiet, while he's still ranting about it. we were first in the que, they behind us. i admit it, it was me! lol but in my defense i have a colitis and all the disney healthy multigrain stuff was not sitting well.

i did think of this thread when the incident was going down!

 

[laurie31]

I was reading a news story today and an ad for this was in the sidebar ~

http://www.bettermarriageblanket.com/

I showed that to DH as a joke, but apparently he thought I actually wanted one, because he said, "We don't need that. You don't fart that often."

Was that a compliment?

 

[taylor3297]

This thread is hilarious!

At the school where I taught in GA, when someone would let one rip during class (this is middle school) someone would say "someone just lost their manners".

 

[amberg@eastlink.ca]

Do you mean that you were the one who dealt the fart, or were you quoting what the big man said? Either way, that would be hilarious. (Though I do kinda feel bad for his wife and others in line).

lol sorry i was the one who dealt it! and he was saying some people should just keep that stuff inside. lmao

 

[Erik_in_TN]

One time when checking-in to a motel, there was a gentleman in front of us by two people. He and his co-workers were apparently into some sort of funny discussion. The only thing is, once he started laughing, that's when the *other* noise began. You could tell that other people noticed but felt too awkward to say anything.