Families that go Trick-or-treating but don't hand out candy?

[iheartnmr's]

I'm guessing the entire thought that people pass out candy to others because it's fun for the kids (and often times the people giving it out...love the toddlers) is lost on people. Have to "get" what they feel they are rightfully entitled to. Can't give and not get.

Crazy world we live in.

 

[Ceila]

To those who find it wrong for both parents to take their children trick-or-treating, consider that they probably:

- either leave a bowl outside or hand out treats before/after they go out themselves
- handed out candy before they even had kids
- will hand out candy once again when their kids are older

In the grand scheme of things, you get annoyed by parents who are participating in their kids' lives? Really? I don't think that those parents are the ones with the sense of entitlement.

(And FTR, all of the things in my list are true for my husband and I.)

 

[disneybound2010]

We live at the very end of a VERY rural lane which is surrounded by woods. There is only one child on this lane...that would be mine.

I'll be sure to inform DS that the candy police on this thread say we must leave a bowl of candy out if we go trick or treating...now, can I please have the addresses of everyone on here so I know where to send the deer and wild turkey when they become sugar fiends?!

 

[DisneyBeagle]

OP here! Sorry, I had to work on a few projects today and haven’t checked back on this thread. I had no idea this would be such a hot topic….I’m sorry! Really this doesn’t bother me that my neighbor does this, it’s their house and their children so they can handle Halloween however they want. I promise that I'm not keeping score, it’s something that I have noticed over the years, but it’s no big deal to me. I just wondered if this was the norm.

My whole goal for Halloween is to be the cool house that gives out the best candy and has great decorations regardless of what everyone else around me does.

 

[Cinderella94]

This is probably the dumbest thread I've ever seen on the DIS. (OP--that is NOT meant as a slam at you!! You seem very level headed about the whole thing).

Others: seriously? Let's step back and take a look at ourselves. Griping because the distribution/reception of Halloween candy is not necessary "even"? SERIOUSLY? Good Lord!

We're talking about trick or treating here.

 

[S. C.]

 

[Michelle and crew]

This is probably the dumbest thread I've ever seen on the DIS. (OP--that is NOT meant as a slam at you!! You seem very level headed about the whole thing).

Others: seriously? Let's step back and take a look at ourselves. Griping because the distribution/reception of Halloween candy is not necessary "even"? SERIOUSLY? Good Lord!

We're talking about trick or treating here.

Lol, the op started the whole conversation about how it wasn't right to take candy if you didn't give it.

 

[Cinderella94]

Lol, the op started the whole conversation about how it wasn't right to take candy if you didn't give it.

I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't flaming the OP. She seems way less passionate about it than some of the people who replied.

 

[Michelle and crew]

I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't flaming the OP. She seems way less passionate about it than some of the people who replied.

sorry. I just had to laugh.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I think it is wrong, wrong! I don't have a problem with both parents going with the children BUT before and after, HAND OUT CANDY!! If everyone took the attitude that they will just ToT then no one would get candy.

 

[DisneyBeagle]

Lol, the op started the whole conversation about how it wasn't right to take candy if you didn't give it.

Yes, I did start the conversation, but perhaps I should have worded it a bit differently. As I've said many times, I'm not keeping score. I love watching the kids come to my house in costumes and seeing how excited the little ones get over the decorations. There have been some valid points made in this thread about people handing out candy after their kids are grown up. I never really thought about it before as I just viewed it from a kids perspective that they might be bummed that there was one less house to "hit."

This isn't a topic that I'm passionate over....it's Halloween and I love it no matter who is handing out candy.

 

[luvmy3]

Who cares whether or not someone is home to open the door. I leave a bowl out because both dh and I like to walk around with our kids, neither one of us want to sit home alone and open the door all night. I usually come home before everyone else and then open the door, and I could care less if someone that comes to my door has a parent at home opening theirs. Really, people have a problem with "making it even"? Whats next ringing your neighbors doorbell and asking them how many bags of candy they bought and how much they spent to make sure it was as much as you did

 

[DisneyBeagle]

This is probably the dumbest thread I've ever seen on the DIS. (OP--that is NOT meant as a slam at you!! You seem very level headed about the whole thing).

Don't worry, it's nothing that a few years of therapy won't cure

 

[cm8]

To those who find it wrong for both parents to take their children trick-or-treating, consider that they probably:

- either leave a bowl outside or hand out treats before/after they go out themselves
- handed out candy before they even had kids
- will hand out candy once again when their kids are older

In the grand scheme of things, you get annoyed by parents who are participating in their kids' lives? Really? I don't think that those parents are the ones with the sense of entitlement.

(And FTR, all of the things in my list are true for my husband and I.)

 

[Colleen27]

I think it tends to even out over the course of a lifetime.

We have three kids with a wide age gap (12, 9, and 2) so DH & I start out the evening together but inevitably one of us comes home much earlier than the other. So right now, neither of us is available to hand out candy for the peak trick-or-treat hours and leaving out a bowl just hasn't worked well when we've tried it in the past. I don't feel bad about that at all; we handed out candy before we had kids and we'll hand out candy once the kids have outgrown trick-or-treating with us. For now, unless my mom or MIL are over anyway to see the kids in their costumes, we only hand out candy at the end of the night when our youngest is done with her trick-or-treating.

 

[samshane]

My Dh was deployed last year so what we did was to leave a big bowl with a note that instructed people to take 2 pieces. When we trick-or-treated through the neighborhood, we'd swing back by the house and refill the bowl. We came upon plenty of houses in our neighborhood that did the same thing.

I didn't find anyone took all the candy - every time we came back by there was still some left in the bowl. Our system worked pretty well.

 

[Colleen27]

I think it is wrong, wrong! I don't have a problem with both parents going with the children BUT before and after, HAND OUT CANDY!! If everyone took the attitude that they will just ToT then no one would get candy.

Well, no. Not everyone has ToT aged kids. Probably half the houses we hit now have teens/young adults or are empty nesters, and yet they still hand out candy. We'll be right there with them someday too, because for us Halloween decorating is almost as fun as Christmas. We loved seeing all the kids come to the door when we were just starting out and didn't have kids, and I'm sure we'll love it when our own kids are too old for cute costumes and going door to door. But in the meantime, Halloween is family time and we go out together as a family.

 

[Hannathy]

Well, no. Not everyone has ToT aged kids. Probably half the houses we hit now have teens/young adults or are empty nesters, and yet they still hand out candy. We'll be right there with them someday too, because for us Halloween decorating is almost as fun as Christmas. We loved seeing all the kids come to the door when we were just starting out and didn't have kids, and I'm sure we'll love it when our own kids are too old for cute costumes and going door to door. But in the meantime, Halloween is family time and we go out together as a family.

so would that have worked if everyone in the neighborhood had small kids? Like in our neighbor hood all the houses were built within 3 yrs of each other so we all had small children at the same time. If everyone selfishly went out with their kids where would they have gone? I still don't understand why both parents have to go with the kids. Why can't 1 stay home ? they still see the kids or you can switch half way thru.

I still say it is very selfish to only think of yourself and not anyone elses children when you go out and don't leave or stay home to give out candy.

 

[Rora]

Definitely give and take.

 

[aprilgail2]

I agree with you. DH takes the kids out and I stay home to pass out candy. If you are going to be accepting treats you should be giving them out also. Anything else is just selfish.

Denise in MI

So should children of divorce just have to stay home that night? Or kid who have lost a parent?

I am a single parent but I make sure someone is here to pass out candy whie I am out taking my daughter around- usually my brother will come and stay here to hand out candy for us. Otherwise I leave a bowl on the step and I have never come back to an empty bowl! I would not skip handing out candy just because I am out there with my daughter trick or treating...wouldn't seem right to me. This year she is 10 so I will be home to hand out the cnady and she will be out there with her friends trick or treating, she doesn't need mommy tagging along anymore!

But something that annoys me to no end is how on Open House night at the beginning of the school year, they request that you don't bring your kids (this is at our particular school, I know they're not all like this) because they have very specific things they want to go over w/ the parents with as little distraction as possible. And EVERY YEAR, you'll see Mom, Dad and 'x' number of kids. If it's just one parent and the kids, I don't give it a second thought -- but both parents and the kids -- like one of them couldn't stay home when it is specifically requested that the kids not attend? Now that irks me! Sorry to go off-topic, but the above post reminded me of that.
!

That drives me crazy! The school asks for ONE parent and no kids to attend yet mom , dad and the 4 kids still come walking into the classroom....there is ONE seat per student so that makes ONE seat per family...last year I get into the class and there is a dad in my seat because mom was in their kids seat so he just sat in an empty one....it doesn't need to be a family event--one parent is enough LOL...