Extremely annoyed....vent

[Disneyadore]

as much of a breast feeding advocate as I am, this is waaaaaaaay too much...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIAyxmlk5rg

I did see this on tv and there were even older children than seven witch were breastfeeded.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Well actual we had a lady with size xxxl on the flight home in May. She took of her shirt and fed here child freely in public a few times.
She exposed both her naked breasts to every one that wanted to take a look. It was an intercontinental flight so she had lots of "public"walking along on their way to the washroom.
The cabin crew asked several times to cover up,brought her a blanked but she refused.
She was better than the films they showed on the flight
Looking back I should have taken pictures for my scarp album.

This is the exception, not the rule. I can tell you how many people I have seen driving drunk on the road, but that doesn't mean every drinker drives drunk. I can't believe I just compared BF to driving drunk.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

YOU were never accused of flashing, nor was anyone else for that matter. It was just simply stated that 'as long as' this WASN'T being done, then there was no problem. There are indeed women who let everything hang out no matter where they are. I have actually seen it in a mall where the unoccupied b**b was hanging out too! This is in appropriate, so I agree with that statement.

However, that is completely off topic anyways, because I think the original discussion was based on whether the person who 'stuck' their nose into the conversation that had nothing to do with them in the first place.

No,people always have to bring up something to insult women who breast feed. She is "ok" with it (Thank GOD because we all desire her approval) as long as women aren't flashing anyone. Should could have made her point without saying something like that. I have never seen anyone who was not discreet, or made their best attempt to be. I think people that can only go around talking about flashing **** are people who are anti BF nazis. And they must be looking really hard. I would love to know the year, decade whatever, when breastfeeding became taboo and now we are the bad guys. How do you people think Jesus was fed? I'm so tired of the backlash. It was an insult, I don't care if it wasn't directly pointed at me...it was an insult and an implication that breastfeeding women like to show off their breasts. She colored her whole argument by sticking that little insult in there. LIke I said, I agreed with her until I read that. Now I feel the urge to dismiss anything else she says because she appears too biased to make a good argument.
I need one of those "Bad Parent" buttons people have on their signatures. I breastfed, Oh the horror!!

 

[Disneyadore]

This is the exception, not the rule. I can tell you how many people I have seen driving drunk on the road, but that doesn't mean every drinker drives drunk. I can't believe I just compared BF to driving drunk.

This kind of behavior is "winning" and more. Obviously feeding a child in a peaceful and private place is no longer a pro. Mom's needs trump over the baby's. She has to go shopping,to a zoo or a park. And this in not only for women that breastfeed, also for "bottle baby's'.

 

[FireDancer]

The attitude in the OP reminds me of the anti-spanking brigade. Because they choose to breastfeed or not spank everyone else should do the same. The thing about choice is that sometimes other people will make a different choice, and that should be fine.

Too many people want to spend their time telling other people how to live their lives (or in this case, raise/feed their children).

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

This kind of behavior is "winning" and more. Obviously feeding a child in a peaceful and private place is no longer a pro. Mom's needs trump over the baby's. She has to go shopping,to a zoo or a park. And this in not only for women that breastfeed, also for "bottle baby's'.

I am not defending anyone who cannot BF discreetly. On a plane, you don't have many options at all. But I agree, she should have covered up. If the OP was complaining about an incident like the one you witnessed, then I would be right in there with you saying she should have been discreet. But the OP was about a woman insulting her friend for chosing not to breastfeed. There was no reason to throw a BF insult in there except to rile people up to get on the anti BF bandwagon.
Here I go with the drinking analogy again:
Let's say I start a thread about wine. I don't drink wine, but I'm fine with people who do unless they drink and drive. Did I really need to say that and imply that wine drinkers are drunk drivers? No. Could I have stayed on topic about wine without insulting all wine drinkers? Yes. Do some people who drink wine drive drunk? Yes. Do some breastfeeders fail to be discreet while nursing? Yes.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I am not defending anyone who cannot BF discreetly. On a plane, you don't have many options at all. But I agree, she should have covered up. If the OP was complaining about an incident like the one you witnessed, then I would be right in there with you saying she should have been discreet. But the OP was about a woman insulting her friend for chosing not to breastfeed. There was no reason to throw a BF insult in there except to rile people up to get on the anti BF bandwagon.
Here I go with the drinking analogy again:
Let's say I start a thread about wine. I don't drink wine, but I'm fine with people who do unless they drink and drive. Did I really need to say that and imply that wine drinkers are drunk drivers? No. Could I have stayed on topic about wine without insulting all wine drinkers? Yes. Do some people who drink wine drive drunk? Yes. Do some breastfeeders fail to be discreet while nursing? Yes.

good point.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...Too many people want to spend their time telling other people how to live their lives (or in this case, raise/feed their children).

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

good point.

Thank you for understanding. I'm going to bow out of this thread gracefully, but before I do, I want to make it clear that I don't care who breastfeeds or not. I would never insult someone who didn't breastfeed and would like the same consideration in return. Unfortunately, that will never happen. I have witnessed threads about BF and they get really nasty really quickly. It's a shame that either side has to defend their decision on how to feed their baby. People will always find ways to stick their little insults in conversations that do not call for insults.
Peace

 

[WDWorBUST]

Okay back to the OP's question.....I have to say that woman was just crazy. Not to mention extremely rude. If others feel like you shouldn't have children if you don't breastfeed they are just as crazy as she it.

I did breastfeed my daughter and will breastfeed this baby. But honestly my reasons are both selfish and completely unselfish. I think it is the best thing for baby (but not the only healthy option by any means). Because of this I spend an hour a day at least at work pumping to provide her breastmilk while I was at work....which is probably the main thing I'm dreading this time around (Unselfish reasons). Now it sure didn't hurt that it was free (except for the pump rental) and to me a whole lot easier in the middle of the night and really any time. I never had to deal with a fussy baby while I fixed a bottle. So I guess I was a little selfish for breastfeeding for those reasons.

I think that every mom needs to make the decision that is best for her. I'm not in her shoes to tell her what that is and am not going to judge her for the decision that works best for her and her family.

 

[Disneyadore]

I am not defending anyone who cannot BF discreetly. On a plane, you don't have many options at all. But I agree, she should have covered up. If the OP was complaining about an incident like the one you witnessed, then I would be right in there with you saying she should have been discreet. But the OP was about a woman insulting her friend for chosing not to breastfeed. There was no reason to throw a BF insult in there except to rile people up to get on the anti BF bandwagon.
Here I go with the drinking analogy again:
Let's say I start a thread about wine. I don't drink wine, but I'm fine with people who do unless they drink and drive. Did I really need to say that and imply that wine drinkers are drunk drivers? No. Could I have stayed on topic about wine without insulting all wine drinkers? Yes. Do some people who drink wine drive drunk? Yes. Do some breastfeeders fail to be discreet while nursing? Yes.

Let me get this strait. Its okay to insult a woman that is not or against breastfeeding but its fine to insult some one that doesn't like the flashing of ***** around? All at a sudden that is jumping on the anti BF wagon.

And for your information. My husband and BIL were very uncomfortable for almost 12 hours trying to look "the other way" because she was sitting in our row. If this would happen again I really would ask the crew to remove her from the plane. It was totally disgusting. I will really get pictures and show them on the DIS.

 

[Magpie]

I am not defending anyone who cannot BF discreetly. On a plane, you don't have many options at all. But I agree, she should have covered up. If the OP was complaining about an incident like the one you witnessed, then I would be right in there with you saying she should have been discreet. But the OP was about a woman insulting her friend for chosing not to breastfeed. There was no reason to throw a BF insult in there except to rile people up to get on the anti BF bandwagon.
Here I go with the drinking analogy again:
Let's say I start a thread about wine. I don't drink wine, but I'm fine with people who do unless they drink and drive. Did I really need to say that and imply that wine drinkers are drunk drivers? No. Could I have stayed on topic about wine without insulting all wine drinkers? Yes. Do some people who drink wine drive drunk? Yes. Do some breastfeeders fail to be discreet while nursing? Yes.

I breastfed - under my shirt, or under a blanket! I never said a word to any other woman about bottle feeding. That's their choice.

Mostly people just smiled at me when I was nursing my baby in public, or in a restaurant, or anywhere else. Once or twice they came up to me and said, "Good for you!" I guess because breastfeeders were still in the minority in my town, fourteen years ago. I never had to take my babies into a bathroom to feed, thank goodness.

However, I did have a problem with a medical specialist we had to see when our daughter was an infant. We were in her office, talking, when my daughter began to fuss. I said, "Hang on," and stuffed her under my shirt to nurse. There was nothing to see. I didn't flash any skin.

But the doctor gets this look on her face like I just broke wind in the office, and stands up all of a sudden. "I'll be back when you're done!" she announces - and then she marches out of the room!

My husband and I just stared at each other in shock. Finally my husband said, "What's her problem?"

"I guess she's bothered by breastfeeding," I said.

Actually, we had to see this same doctor again last year - and she hasn't changed one bit. My now-teenaged daughter was scared and the doctor was abrupt and unsympathetic. She made things a whole lot worse, and thanks to her my daughter has decided she won't get her upper lip fixed after all. Horrible woman.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Let me get this strait. Its okay to insult a woman that is not or against breastfeeding but its fine to insult some one that doesn't like the flashing of ***** around?

Please quote me where I said it's ok to insult ANYONE.
I'll be waiting.....

 

[kaytieeldr]

So while we were having this discussion I guess one of the other members overheard what she was saying and she said (no joke) "If you can't breastfeed than you shouldn't have a child. You are going to be killing them by giving them formula".....SERIOUSLY?????

Oh, no! Does that mean my siblings and I are going to... die????? That our mom's decision, for whatever reason, to bottle feed us, is fatal??? Did this twit happen to provide a timeline? Because I'm in my mid-fifties, and everyone else is close behind me. If we're going to die someday, we'd really like to know about it!!!!

What rot! Most times, how the parents choose to feed a child IS a choice. Way back mid-twentieth century, bottle-feeding was the 'right' (popular) way. Hasn't killed me yet. But sometimes, there's no choice. Only one method works. Doesn't make it right or wrong - and CERTAINLY doesn't, or shouldn't, open the parent to critcism.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

And for your information. My husband and BIL were very uncomfortable for almost 12 hours trying to look "the other way" because she was sitting in our row. If this would happen again I really would ask the crew to remove her from the plane. It was totally disgusting. I will really get pictures and show them on the DIS.

Wow, I haven't heard "for your information" since 4th grade

Ok, so this woman was topless for 12 hours? That's almost hard to believe. I know the baby didn't eat for 12 hours. So even when the baby was asleep, or in the car seat, this woman remained topless the entire time? If you have pictures documenting that this woman sat topless in your row the entire time, even when she wasn't nursing, I would send them into the airline and demand a refund. I mean, something like that sounds like it should be on "Inside Edition".

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

But the doctor gets this look on her face like I just broke wind in the office, and stands up all of a sudden. "I'll be back when you're done!" she announces - and then she marches out of the room!

My husband and I just stared at each other in shock. Finally my husband said, "What's her problem?"

"I guess she's bothered by breastfeeding," I said.

Actually, we had to see this same doctor again last year - and she hasn't changed one bit. My now-teenaged daughter was scared and the doctor was abrupt and unsympathetic. She made things a whole lot worse, and thanks to her my daughter has decided she won't get her upper lip fixed after all. Horrible woman.

I am so sorry this happened, esp with a dr! I'm glad you did find support in your town, though. And like you, I would never insult or argue with someone who bottle feeds. To each their own. I don't even know of anyone else in my family or any friends that breast fed. Yet I never said a word to any of them. I just decided when my first was born, that I wanted to try. No one told me anything one way or the other. Not my dr or a nurse or anyone. I wasn't breastfed, my DH wasn't, my parents weren't etc. It's just something I wanted to do and never invisioned that years later it would come back to haunt me. lol

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I'm actually worried about this very sort of situation happening to me someday. As of yet, I'm unsure of whether I'll breastfeed, but I'm leaning towards no. It's not because of any medical reason I can't, I'm just not sure the benefits (most of which are overplayed by proponents) are worth the negatives. Mind you, I am certainly not against breastfeeding, and I understand womens' anger at those who want to prevent them from breastfeeding in public. I personally have no problem with it (as long as they don't have any problem with me seeing them, cause I see no particular reason to look away). However, I don't like it when breastfeeding aficianados turn around and start claiming that every woman who does not want to breastfeed is selfish and evil and obviously doesn't care about their kids.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Doesn't make it right or wrong - and CERTAINLY doesn't, or shouldn't, open the parent to critcism.

This should go both ways.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I'm actually worried about this very sort of situation happening to me someday. As of yet, I'm unsure of whether I'll breastfeed, but I'm leaning towards no. It's not because of any medical reason I can't, I'm just not sure the benefits (most of which are overplayed by proponents) are worth the negatives. Mind you, I am certainly not against breastfeeding, and I understand womens' anger at those who want to prevent the from breastfeeding in public. I personally have no problem with it (as long as they don't have any problem with me seeing them, cause I see no particular reason to look away). However, I don't like it when breastfeeding aficianados turn around and start claiming that every woman who does not want to breastfeed is selfish and evil and obviously doesn't care about their kids.

It's sad that you feel this way, but I understand why you do. I just want to make it clear that I have never accused any mother who chose not to breastfeed (or couldn't for medical reasons) of being evil or selfish or anything derogatory. Heck, if I was pregnant now, I could NOT breastfeed. I am on meds that cannot be stopped and would be harmful to a baby if transmitted thru breast milk. I just ask you to try not to let anyones opinion color your own. As you can see, there is backlash on both sides. Both sides have their advantages and both sides have their disadvantages. As long as a baby is being fed what they are supposed to be fed (be it formula or breastmilk) that is all that should matter.

 

[Magpie]

Let me get this strait. Its okay to insult a woman that is not or against breastfeeding but its fine to insult some one that doesn't like the flashing of ***** around? All at a sudden that is jumping on the anti BF wagon.

And for your information. My husband and BIL were very uncomfortable for almost 12 hours trying to look "the other way" because she was sitting in our row. If this would happen again I really would ask the crew to remove her from the plane. It was totally disgusting. I will really get pictures and show them on the DIS.

I agree it was socially awkward, but "disgusting"? Really? Were her breasts covered with suppurating wounds or something? Did she have leprosy?

Otherwise it was just a pair of breasts. No big deal. You can see them at any beach in Europe, hanging out for all the world to see. Or go to some parts of Africa or South America, where no one covers their breasts. Ever.

Or if you don't want to travel all the way off continent...

*Ottawa had a naked bike ride last weekend. Plenty of breasts there.
*There was a nurse-in at the park a few weeks ago.
*Some ladies like to go topless at the local beach.
*Old ladies apparently like to pull their tops up and wave their breasts around at Cher concerts - on the Jumbo-tron screen, no less!
*Any Canadian protest rally, barring the extreme right wing ones, usually features a few topless female protesters.
*Nickleback concerts... I was quite amused when Chad Kroeger said, "Don't think I don't notice all you lovely breasts... I mean, ladies out there!"