Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[Kat77]

HFA is high functioning autism. FAE is fetal alcohol effect. Just to make it clear, I did not drink alcohol while pregnant. My kids are all adopted. So sadly, in addition to their struggles with everyday life due to their disabilities.....They've also been abused/neglected as infants/toddlers, and/or while in the womb.

Elizabeth

Welcome, Friend! I suspect we have much in common !
My girls joined our family through international adoption and my boys are biological. All with their own special needs....

HFA was actually the first dx we were given for my youngest son through the school psych. Every other eval classifies him as PDD-NOS or Aspergers. Same disorder, different name. I find it easiest to say he has Aspergers since HFA has people scratching their heads (and often underestimating him) and PDD-NOS has them saying P-diddly-what?

We use the GAC as well. With having three special needs kids, it's a neccesity, as my oldest may go into a panic attack, the middle child bumping off of people like he's a pinball, and my youngest in total meltdown mode....Not a pretty sight. So we're actually doing others a favor by having the GAC.

Elizabeth

Perfect! That is it! I can tune out the insanity surrounding me, if we are using a GAC it is often for the protection of the other guests.
I know we need to slow down and use alt. entrances when: DS12 is fine and pretending not to know us, DD12 with tourettes is ticing away loudly (because ds9 is stressing her out) and trying to hide herself against me because people are staring at her, DD11 is charming strangers and being as cute as humanly possible, while DS9 is having a meltdown/panic attack- screaming at everyone in line to stand perfectly still, in single file, with their hands inside their pockets, and whisper to their neighbors if they feel they must speak. After the ride, DD11 will make a mad dash to hug her newfound friends and shed some dramatic tears over how much she will miss them if I can not grab hold of her fast enough. If you see me grabbing her ponytail someday at Disney, don't worry, it's not "exactly" child abuse... she creates the yank with her flying leaps ... I am so not proud of this tactic .
If anyone would like to secretly film us for a PSA on special needs, I have worked out what the t-shirts will say:
DS12- Not that I admit to knowing these people but Thank God you're an NT!
DD12- This is what Tourettes looks like- now quit freaking staring (or I'll start biting with my bark)!
DD11- Front- Attachment Disorder is SWEET! Back- If you hug or feed me...my parents worry you're a pedo!
DS9- I'm Autistic, what's you're excuse? (This one needs work)
Me- Welcome to the exciting world of Special Needs Parenting
-OR- something snarky like these: http://www.google.com/products?hl=e...esult_group&ct=image&resnum=4&ved=0CC8QzAMwAw

 

[GoofTroop]

Howdy Schmutch neighbors

There has been some disturbance in the force here lately

Maybe someone can give me some advice on how to deal with this - DS is occasionally self injurious - not too bad, but it's there. He mostly picks his lips. But last year around this time of year and now again he has taken to pulling out his hair, literally. It is not noticable (hooray for that) but there is a patch about the size of a quarter that's gone The school nurse called me about it yesterday. She gave him a ball to squeeze, which I guess is a fine thing to try. He told the nurse he was bored, he told me he was nervous. Anybody have any similiar experiences? Any tips? I asked him not to do it anymore (nicely), and to remember to use the ball.

thanks

What if you provided him with his own notebooks (or paper you don't need anymore) and a small personal trashcan. Can he understand, if explained to him, that when he feels the need to pull his hair...Have him rip/shred paper instead?

Elizabeth

 

[GoofTroop]

Welcome, Friend! I suspect we have much in common !
My girls joined our family through international adoption and my boys are biological. All with their own special needs....

HFA was actually the first dx we were given for my youngest son through the school psych. Every other eval classifies him as PDD-NOS or Aspergers. Same disorder, different name. I find it easiest to say he has Aspergers since HFA has people scratching their heads (and often underestimating him) and PDD-NOS has them saying P-diddly-what?

Wow! Looks like we do have much in common! Yep, my oldest has bounced around from PDD-NOS, Aspergers, and HFA. He truly does not fit into the Aspergers group though, his IQ tends to be on the lower side, and he will probably never live on his own or get a driver's license. If we say "PDD-NOS", we get the same confusion from others as you. So, HFA seems to 'define' him best. Although, there are times when I struggle to see whether some of his behaviors are truly autism or RAD. Although all three of my boys are different, yet similar in some ways....My oldest is very different than my two younger boys.

Elizabeth

 

[GoofTroop]

If anyone would like to secretly film us for a PSA on special needs, I have worked out what the t-shirts will say:
DS12- Not that I admit to knowing these people but Thank God you're an NT!
DD12- This is what Tourettes looks like- now quit freaking staring (or I'll start biting with my bark)!
DD11- Front- Attachment Disorder is SWEET! Back- If you hug or feed me...my parents worry you're a pedo!
DS9- I'm Autistic, what's you're excuse? (This one needs work)
Me- Welcome to the exciting world of Special Needs Parenting
-OR- something snarky like these: http://www.google.com/products?hl=e...esult_group&ct=image&resnum=4&ved=0CC8QzAMwAw

Oooohhhh! We could join you in the taping!

DS17- I don't need a social worker. My social life is just fine!
DD12- (front of shirt) Why b normal? (back of shirt) Normal is so mediocre.
DS9- The lights are on. Yes, I'm home. You're just not looking in the right windows. Keep trying. It's about perspective. Mine, not yours!
DS4- (front of shirt) Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Fidget....Fidget....Fidget....Boing! Boing! Boing! (back of shirt) I am who I am!
Me- Short People: Last to get rained on. First to drown.
Dh- What?

I think that sums us up well......I think.....

Elizabeth

 

[kirstenb1]

We use the GAC as well. With having three special needs kids, it's a neccesity, as my oldest may go into a panic attack, the middle child bumping off of people like he's a pinball, and my youngest in total meltdown mode....Not a pretty sight. So we're actually doing others a favor by having the GAC.

When my kids are not having a "moment" they all look totally 'normal'....So when they are having an issue, of course, then they look like bratty kids and my DH and I look like we don't know how to parent....

However, 2 years ago, my DH was with my DS9 (he was 7 years old at the time) in Tomorrowland. They were near Space Mountain. DS9 was not misbehaving, actually was being very-well behaved. Anyway, a CM walked over to them and was making small talk. She asked if the were going on Space Mountain, which my DH said yes. She started referring to DS9 as her new "space ranger friend". Anyway, she told them that she'd watch for them to get off the ride so she could "Check in and see how her new space ranger friend enjoyed his ride"....And off they went.

Sure enough, she caught them on the way out. She asked DS9 "So, how did my new space ranger friend enjoy Space Mountain?" To which he responded "Good". She made some more 'small talk' asked if she could get DS9 a frozen slushie from one of the nearby stands. My DH said that was fine, she then asked DS9 what flavor he'd like, to which he responded "Cherry".

While waiting for the drink, she asked my DH if she could ask him a personal question. DH said that was fine. She asked him if DS9 was autistic. My DH told her he was. Then the drink was ready. She handed it to my son, then told my DH "I have a 22 year old son at home with autism. I know how hard it can be on a daily basis. Here's something to make his day just a little brighter."

My DH and son thanked her for the icee, and off they went. I cried when my DH first told me about this CM. Such a special moment for them.

Elizabeth

Sheesh, I need a kleenex!! What a neat treat for your son and dh!!

 

[NotUrsula]

And another one from DS (he's on a roll this week):

There was an occasion on the final day of school that made some people feel sentimental. At dinner, DS was describing the reaction of one girl who has a tendency toward drama:

DS: ... and her face got SO red.
DH (winking): Like a tomato?
DS: Nah, she's more of a cherry.
DH: [spit take]

(The girl in question is quite pretty and has a very good figure. )

 

[iwrbnd]

I've really enjoyed reading through this thread. We have a 5-yr-old "Schmutch" boy and the last few weeks have been, well, a bit trying at times... It's been great reading everyone else's stories, and realizing again that we're not the only family going through this. Thanks!

Hello and welcome!!! This thread will definately help you remember you are not alone! I'm glad you're here!

 

[bookwormde]

social autopsies are when after the person "decompresses, you start at the the "begining" and find all the areas which contributed to the final event. Sometimes it means going well back in time. You get the perception of the person (in our case our kids) as to the events that led up to the "meltdown" or other issues piece by piece. You also review others who were in volved in "contibuting" to the event (sometimes us, other kids or educators or some combination). As you do them it quickly becomes apprenat where there was a social misinterpretation by our kids and that allows to identify social skill the the child has deficaincies in and actions and assumptions made by the other partie(s) that contributed. since our kids are best helped by teaching them intellectual methodoligies to replace the missing innate social skills this really helps zero in on what needs to be taught.

I know it sounds a little complicated , but once you get the hang of it is really very easy and yields great clues for teaching our kids (and ourselves)

bookwormde

 

[Kat77]

Oooohhhh! We could join you in the taping!

DS17- I don't need a social worker. My social life is just fine!
DD12- (front of shirt) Why b normal? (back of shirt) Normal is so mediocre.
DS9- The lights are on. Yes, I'm home. You're just not looking in the right windows. Keep trying. It's about perspective. Mine, not yours!
DS4- (front of shirt) Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Fidget....Fidget....Fidget....Boing! Boing! Boing! (back of shirt) I am who I am!
Me- Short People: Last to get rained on. First to drown.
Dh- What?

I think that sums us up well......I think.....

Elizabeth

I was going to list DH's shirt as Huh? or What?

 

[NJMomma]

Yes, we use the gac. I still feel really awkward asking for it and will wait until all heck is breaking loose before requesting one (three/four days in) which is a major flaw of the wait-and-see approach in the hands of a stubborn mom. Ofcouse, by the time we need one, the last thing I feel is guilt!
I honestly prefer touring plans and find them much more helpful than a GAC. Unfortunately, they depend on the Schmutch being cooperative, which just ain't happening somedays.

We use it as well. I used to not, because like Daisy&Max, I thought my Shmutch boy needed to learn to wait like everyone else. And he does, but for one week a year, I've learned to let it be easy(ish) for us. I have friends with a PDD NOS daughter, and they pointed out to me (like I didn't already know ) that we face challlenges other parents don't and never will. If someone can make our lives easier, why shouldn't we let them? An now I do! People stare at us back home too, so what's the difference

And by the way, as per my earlier post, there was no additional hair pulling today!

 

[mommatomase]

We use it as well. I used to not, because like Daisy&Max, I thought my Shmutch boy needed to learn to wait like everyone else. And he does, but for one week a year, I've learned to let it be easy(ish) for us. I have friends with a PDD NOS daughter, and they pointed out to me (like I didn't already know ) that we face challlenges other parents don't and never will. If someone can make our lives easier, why shouldn't we let them? An now I do! People stare at us back home too, so what's the difference

And by the way, as per my earlier post, there was no additional hair pulling today!

Exactly why we use GAC... we deserve a vacation too... and that week is magical and that means lightening the load (so to speak).

Glad no hair pulling!!! I like the paper ripping idea...

 

[mommatomase]

social autopsies are when after the person "decompresses, you start at the the "begining" and find all the areas which contributed to the final event. Sometimes it means going well back in time. You get the perception of the person (in our case our kids) as to the events that led up to the "meltdown" or other issues piece by piece. You also review others who were in volved in "contibuting" to the event (sometimes us, other kids or educators or some combination). As you do them it quickly becomes apprenat where there was a social misinterpretation by our kids and that allows to identify social skill the the child has deficaincies in and actions and assumptions made by the other partie(s) that contributed. since our kids are best helped by teaching them intellectual methodoligies to replace the missing innate social skills this really helps zero in on what needs to be taught.

I know it sounds a little complicated , but once you get the hang of it is really very easy and yields great clues for teaching our kids (and ourselves)

bookwormde

Thank you for explaining this.. it is what I thought it was... I'm glad you decided to stay here with us! Your insight is priceless.

 

[bookwormde]

I wish I was a good a story teller and writer as all of you are, but just not in my "nature". It did make me think of a funny story, we were down on the national mall and at the natural history museum, and some of the curators were a out on the floor working on some of the dinosaur bones, my relatively shy DS9 walk over an engages them in a 30 minute discussion about all the displays (of course by proper scientific names) and they have a detailed discussion of all the current evolutionary theories and why he agrees and disagrees with each. Now you would think that the curators would either disregard him because of his age or show some sign of amazement at his knowledge, but no it was like they were talking to a college, after a while I realized that the explanation was that they have the same genetics a DS and just do not see the difference.

bookwormde

 

[persimmondeb]

Thanks, guys! We're off in about 6 hours!

 

[kampfirekim]

Also, kampfirekim, I had a "duh" momement, too, because I didn't know what HFA was either!

I have a friend who has a little high functioning autistic DS. I've only heard the term a gazillion times! You'd think I'd have figured that one out! BFF fer sure! Like totally!

Thank you for explaining this.. it is what I thought it was... I'm glad you decided to stay here with us! Your insight is priceless.

Amen. I'd like to thank you too Bookwormde.

Thanks, guys! We're off in about 6 hours!

I am soooooo like totally jealous right now! No, I don't know why I am acting like a valley girl from the 80's. Seriously, have a fantastic trip!

We've been waving the Schmolland flag high and singing the national anthem loud and proud today. DS escaped school again.....but here's the catch.....IT WASN'T EVEN HIS SCHOOL! I had to go into DS/nt's school to pay for his yearbook. Little Schmutch boy was doing just great in the office while I wrote the check etc.! When will I ever learn.....he's not being good, he's waiting on an opportunity. (DS went to this school last year but his class was closed and he was reassigned to another school) The opportunity presented itself and we were off to the races! That kid RAN down the hall turned the corner to the fifth grade wing which is in the outer rim of the Egyptian part of the school if you get my meaning. The school nurse was standing in the hall and with her sweet, quiet little nurse voice said, "Oh little boy, don't run....wait on mommy." Couldn't she she me running with all my might, or the sweat dripping from my forehead, or the wild-eyed, crazy look on my face. Couldn't she hear me yelling STOP, COME BACK, YOU'D BETTER NOT GO THROUGH THAT DOOR! She's a wonderful nurse, but come on.....at least block the door please! Nope, no help there so out the door we go....all the way past the PE building and the ABA building to the outer reaches of the school yard. Yessss looks like there's a recess in progress on the playground. DS decides to join the class. Now by this time I'm huffing and puffing worse than the Big Bad Wolf! and def not happy with my current situation, def not happy at all! I guess I should be grateful that after a year he still remembered the layout of the school....I guess that could be considered progress.

The KFK Kennel is still open for business, but I gotta say...I'm gettin' real tired of the business being done on my floor! I'm gonna burn up the motor in my shampooer if this doesn't let up. I'm starting to wonder if kennel is the right term. I'm beginning to feel like I live in a barn. DS is half goat/half puppy afterall. At my parents house today, he dropped his pants and went right there in the yard! I'm starting to believe this problem is an attention grab. For the love of Schmolland and all things Schmutch, how can I possibly give more love and attention to someone, who I will lovingly refer to as the official Vampire of Schmolland. I love this kid with all that is in me, but he drains all the energy and all the life right out of me until there is nothing left but a vacant stare! and yet....I still know that I am blessed beyond measure. It is now after midnight and I still have to finish the birthday cake for my NT's party tomorrow. He'll be 7 on Sunday! Hope you all have sweet, peaceful dreams and a restful night's sleep.

 

[C&G'sMama]

I've been lurking around this thread (I'm a frequent contributor and ventor on the Behavior Challange Thread) and I LOVE it. We've been having quite a week with DS. "If you don't give me ice cream I'll pop your head off" "I hate you" and other lovely sentiments have been spewing forth. We continue to work on communication. The most frustrating piece is what works today may not work tomorrow.

Oh well, it keeps life interesting. We have 4 weeks of school left (mine get out June 29th)

PS and to you going to WDW, have a blast and say "HI" to Mickey for the rest of us.

 

[iwrbnd]

Welcome C&G'sMama!Glad you're here!

Kampfirekim, once again, I'm dying laughing!Sorry you were at the Schmolland races but at least we have a winner! Happy Birthday to your other son!

When will I ever learn.....he's not being good, he's waiting on an opportunity.

I love this quote! I need to learn it, too!

 

[toodycat]

Does anyone else's kid pick words or phrases he or she really likes and just throw them into conversation? I don't mean echolalia. My guy's all time favorite is "hemoglobin" which he prefers to articulate with a Swedish chef accent. But, this week, he's working "perestroika" in as well.
Any clues?

 

[mommatomase]

KFK... what if... and I say what if you would start making DS clean up his own mess??? Supervised of course AND run the rug shampooer??? Just a thought.

Welcome Mama and hope you hang around...

Mase uses big words but uses them appropriately for the most part.

Good day here... no 5 alarms today!

 

[toodycat]

My boychik uses big words correctly most of the time. What I mean is that he finds a word that he enjoys and adds it to things to be silly as in "cupcakes, brownies and hemoglobin" or "golf, tennis and perestroika." There was a brief period where he would throw in "and it's healthy for your colon" at the end of sentences. I believe he is doing this to be funny, but it is awfully offbeat. We had to have a little talk about the healthy colon thing, in particular. I was wondering if anyone else's kids did anything similar---doubtful--- or I should say, similarly strange?