Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[iwrbnd]

Toodycat, I have to proofread my two DS ASD boys, too! My oldest is doing fine now but it took 16 years! I used to say he would wear a dress if I put it on him! He could care less!

About the eating non-food items...this is what I do. My son eats his clothes. It's disgusting. He chews them until they are ratted and all slobbery and gross! I bought Bitter Apple from the dog store. It's a NASTY tasting spray to keep dogs from chewing. I spray it on his clothes and it's potent enough to keep him from chewing. I haven't researched the safety on kids but I figure if it's safe for animals it must be non-toxic! I also spray a little on my daughter's hair to keep her from chewing it. So far none of my kids have gotten sick and it's working perfectly! I realize some of you would have to spray your whole house but it's still a thought!

We don't use GAD. My kids are too mild for it and do fine with waiting. Now my one NT boy, HE needs the GAD! He has the patience of a fly when it comes to Disney lines!!!

 

[mommatomase]

It does get better! A lot of things used to be "five alarm" around here, but now that DS is 17 he has calmed down quite a bit, and has learned to deal with a lot of things that he couldn't handle before.

Rain is a good example. It's a natural occurrence, that used to send him into a howling, flapping, screeching, cowering mess. Over the years he has learned to deal with raindrops touching him, and now he just complains about it. But no more meltdowns over rain - thank God! The meltdowns started to get milder when was 14, and it's now a lot better. He also stopped trying to run away from it, and has learned not to take off when panic sets in.

I used containment, having him try to focus on me when going into meltdown mode, sometimes rubbing his shoulders, things like that. Even distraction worked to a certain degree. Repetition was key to getting him calmed down for us. Sometimes that's all I would do all day - a lot of calming down.

I hope this helps.

Our wifi was down... thank you so much for this post... I try so hard to see the world through Mase's eyes and I try to talk him through things... this particular incident involved animals that could have been hurt... I had to attend to the animals first... it got way out of hand... Thank you sooo much for your insight... there is a light... there is a light...

 

[mommatomase]

We use GAC.. we get it right away and may not use it alot, BUT for those times we did use it... it was wonderful.

Mase has a REALLY hard time waiting in line. He thinks it is a fast pass and we only use it once per ride with the exception of Toy Story, which he rides once with me and then once with DH... a CMs idea!

We don't over use it for the simple reason of the "he doesn't look like he has a special need".

I am not embarassed by it... I am on vacation too and I want to avoid any melt down I can... I don't think I even spelled embarassed correctly...

As for clothing... LOL can you say Mogly from Jungle Book!! It can be the middle of January here up north and this kid wants to only wear boxers!!! And when he does get dressed... do colors matter??? How 'bout plaids and stripes? Yup... a true fashion plate...

The only time I make him change is if we have to go away... and then sometimes it just isn't worth the instructions...

 

[mommatomase]

It is funny one of the things I learned is that it is necessary to formally cancel a old parental "directive" before trying to get acceptance of a new one which is in conflict. Just no social "autocancel"

bookwormde

but here that would entale a phone call I am sure... I will have to try it next time... thanks for the suggestion... I like it!

 

[mommatomase]

Some good news to share:

1. Thunderstorm today and Dh and Mase were putting the chicks in for the night... NO PANIC ATTACK for being outside when it thundered!!! I told him how proud I was!!!!
2. He asked be yesterday if I needed any help loading the car before we left for the day of appointments...


Oh my...
They just said on TV "they sold it for peanuts"... you take it from there... OH... I LOVE MY SON!!!!

 

[toodycat]

Mommatomase---Awesome news about the thunder. I remember those days..

 

[GoofTroop]

We use GAC.. we get it right away and may not use it alot, BUT for those times we did use it... it was wonderful.

Mase has a REALLY hard time waiting in line. He thinks it is a fast pass and we only use it once per ride with the exception of Toy Story, which he rides once with me and then once with DH... a CMs idea!

We don't over use it for the simple reason of the "he doesn't look like he has a special need".

I am not embarassed by it... I am on vacation too and I want to avoid any melt down I can... I don't think I even spelled embarassed correctly...

We use the GAC as well. With having three special needs kids, it's a neccesity, as my oldest may go into a panic attack, the middle child bumping off of people like he's a pinball, and my youngest in total meltdown mode....Not a pretty sight. So we're actually doing others a favor by having the GAC.

When my kids are not having a "moment" they all look totally 'normal'....So when they are having an issue, of course, then they look like bratty kids and my DH and I look like we don't know how to parent....

However, 2 years ago, my DH was with my DS9 (he was 7 years old at the time) in Tomorrowland. They were near Space Mountain. DS9 was not misbehaving, actually was being very-well behaved. Anyway, a CM walked over to them and was making small talk. She asked if the were going on Space Mountain, which my DH said yes. She started referring to DS9 as her new "space ranger friend". Anyway, she told them that she'd watch for them to get off the ride so she could "Check in and see how her new space ranger friend enjoyed his ride"....And off they went.

Sure enough, she caught them on the way out. She asked DS9 "So, how did my new space ranger friend enjoy Space Mountain?" To which he responded "Good". She made some more 'small talk' asked if she could get DS9 a frozen slushie from one of the nearby stands. My DH said that was fine, she then asked DS9 what flavor he'd like, to which he responded "Cherry".

While waiting for the drink, she asked my DH if she could ask him a personal question. DH said that was fine. She asked him if DS9 was autistic. My DH told her he was. Then the drink was ready. She handed it to my son, then told my DH "I have a 22 year old son at home with autism. I know how hard it can be on a daily basis. Here's something to make his day just a little brighter."

My DH and son thanked her for the icee, and off they went. I cried when my DH first told me about this CM. Such a special moment for them.

Elizabeth

 

[kampfirekim]

HFA is high functioning autism. FAE is fetal alcohol effect. Just to make it clear, I did not drink alcohol while pregnant. My kids are all adopted. So sadly, in addition to their struggles with everyday life due to their disabilities.....They've also been abused/neglected as infants/toddlers, and/or while in the womb.

Elizabeth

Thanks, I think I was having a duh!? moment! Should have figured out High Functioning Autism! All adopted, you say. How wonderful! What a wonderful and beautiful thing. They are blessed to have you as a mom...and I'm sure you feel blessed to BE their mom!

Me also!
Apparently, DS12 could not find ANY of his jeans this morning! He walked in circles ranting which I ignored because the kid is notorious for never actually looking for anything. Here's the good part: when I pick up DS9 at lunch today, his jeans are 3 sizes too large, and he's having to stop and yank them up with every other step. So, I guess some of DS12's clothes really were missing afterall. For the record, DH dropped off DS9. I understand clothes loosen during the day... but come on!




Yes, we use the gac. I still feel really awkward asking for it and will wait until all heck is breaking loose before requesting one (three/four days in) which is a major flaw of the wait-and-see approach in the hands of a stubborn mom. Ofcouse, by the time we need one, the last thing I feel is guilt!
I honestly prefer touring plans and find them much more helpful than a GAC. Unfortunately, they depend on the Schmutch being cooperative, which just ain't happening somedays.

That's what happens when you leave DH's in charge in Schmolland! Let that be a lesson to you. Love that story!

Don't use the wait and see approach. You already know it's gonna happen sooner or later, just go ahead and prepare. I also like to try NOT to use the GAC when possible. I feel like you lose some of the experience of the attractions. To me the lines are all part of that experience. We use FP when possible. If not, you can bet the GAC will be in hand!

[

We use GAC.. we get it right away and may not use it alot, BUT for those times we did use it... it was wonderful.

We don't over use it for the simple reason of the "he doesn't look like he has a special need".

I am not embarassed by it... I am on vacation too and I want to avoid any melt down I can... I don't think I even spelled embarassed correctly...

As for clothing... LOL can you say Mogly from Jungle Book!! It can be the middle of January here up north and this kid wants to only wear boxers!!! And when he does get dressed... do colors matter??? How 'bout plaids and stripes? Yup... a true fashion plate...

The only time I make him change is if we have to go away... and then sometimes it just isn't worth the instructions...

My DS doesn't look like he has a special need either, but the behavior tells a different tale! I'm not ashamed either. He's my son and has a need and by golly I'll meet that need whatever it takes....even the GAC.

My DS is a Jungle Book Mogly too! No matter the time of year or temp, he's a BVD only kinda little guy! Hoping this won't be a prob at WDW in July! Could you imagine a little naked Schmutch boy bolting through the streets of the Magic Kingdom? Dear Lord give me strength and a really great pair of running shoes! Mr. Toad never had such a wild ride as we're likely to have!

 

[Daisy&Max]

Thank you for all the responses on the GAC. I really need to learn to get over *MY* issues with it. I don't use it with my youngest as much as I do the oldest.

I am enjoying everyone's stories. I feel so connected with you all.

I'm exhausted and can't think of anything else so good night Schmolland.

Daisy

 

[bookwormde]

Oh yea I forgot the "authority" to cancel the other parents instructions, that takes both parent sitting down and explaining to the child that each parent has the "permission" of the other parent to cancel a "directive" (actually giving verbal permission to each other in front of the child). We actually had to repeat this one a number of times before it was fully accepted (and reminding the child of this "permission" when doing it).

I know it seems like an cumbersome extra step but no one said raising a spectrum child was not time consuming. This is one of the tools that I learned while doing a social autopsy of a meltdown.
Anyone else use social autopsies on a regular basis?
Bookwormde

 

[mommatomase]

Thank you for all the responses on the GAC. I really need to learn to get over *MY* issues with it. I don't use it with my youngest as much as I do the oldest.

I am enjoying everyone's stories. I feel so connected with you all.

I'm exhausted and can't think of anything else so good night Schmolland.

Daisy

I forgot one thing. Mase carries his GAC in a "ticket holder" that we bought at a gift shop. It attaches to the bottom of a lanyard. Some CMs make you take it out and others just look through the plastic. Make sure the date line is facing out.
We keep ours from year to year to show the old one to get a new one... saves some explaining time.

 

[mommatomase]

Mommatomase---Awesome news about the thunder. I remember those days..

Thanks, we thought it was a big step... we talked about it ALL night!

 

[mommatomase]

Oh yea I forgot the "authority" to cancel the other parents instructions, that takes both parent sitting down and explaining to the child that each parent has the "permission" of the other parent to cancel a "directive" (actually giving verbal permission to each other in front of the child). We actually had to repeat this one a number of times before it was fully accepted (and reminding the child of this "permission" when doing it).

I know it seems like an cumbersome extra step but no one said raising a spectrum child was not time consuming. This is one of the tools that I learned while doing a social autopsy of a meltdown.
Anyone else use social autopsies on a regular basis?
Bookwormde

I like "social autopsies". I think this is what I try to do... figuring out what the trigger really was? Is that what you mean by this... if not, would you please define it for us... thanks!

 

[persimmondeb]

We're off to visit the mouse tomorrow! Wish us luck, as we drive 1100 miles with one driver, one passenger, and one Smutch teenager. Assuming that we get there in one piece, we should have a great time.

And maybe he won't perserverate on Downtown Disney this time. Our first night there we are staying at Regal Sun, so it's RIGHT THERE. Hopefully he'll get enough of it not to drive me crazy every day about whether we can go to Downtown Disney.

The Lego store is attraction #1, of course, but apparently he loves it all, and wants to walk up and down and go into EVERY store and then talk us into getting him something to eat.

He does, btw, normally like to shop, and while his fashion sense is a little strange, does care what he wears. His favorite outfit of the moment is a pair of those madras patchwork shorts (primarily pink, green, and brown) worn with a green t-shirt with a green and yellow dragon lighting a pink and yellow birthday cake. The t-shirt is adorable, and the colors work nicely, but I suspect this is not what all the kids are wearing this year.

 

[toodycat]

PersimmonDeb---Have a great trip. My guy loved the LEGO store,too.

 

[iwrbnd]

Social autopsy? Never heard of it but sounds like something I need to know about!

Also, kampfirekim, I had a "duh" momement, too, because I didn't know what HFA was either!

Persimmondeb, have a great time in WDW! I'm soooo jealous!!!

 

[Daisy&Max]

I forgot one thing. Mase carries his GAC in a "ticket holder" that we bought at a gift shop. It attaches to the bottom of a lanyard. Some CMs make you take it out and others just look through the plastic. Make sure the date line is facing out.
We keep ours from year to year to show the old one to get a new one... saves some explaining time.

MtM...I keep the cards in my lanyard. My kids won't wear anything around the necks. I'm lucky to get clothes on them! My oldest can't wear anything on his wrist, his neck or his head. I bought him several types of lanyards thinking I'd find one he could wear. Nope. Not happening. As for hats I have bought him many different kinds of hats to wear and the only one he really wears is the one from WDW that is a goofy winter hat. It is black but has these neon "things" hanging off of it. Can't keep a baseball hat on, can't keep a ski cap on. Nada!

Today is my youngest smutchs birthday. He is 6. I can't believe how time has flown. I wanted to cry this morning at how my baby is growing up but once I saw that his older brother ate 3 of the cupcakes that were supposed to go to E's class today. I was livid. I had locked the refrigerator so he couldn't get to the cake so instead he ate the cupcakes. He said he wanted one and they looked good. grrrrrrr Thankfully, I had planned to have a few extra just incase extra people showed up in school, now I hope no one extra shows up because there are just enough for everyone there.

But on the plus side he actually threw his trash in the garbage can this time! That's a huge step! heheheh

Never heard of social autopsy but I know after we've had a meltdown I try to step back and trace the behavior back to an event. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. this week has been testing. That has done a number on him!

Back to the grind! Have a great day in Schmolland!

Daisy

 

[JACH1976]

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[NJMomma]

Howdy Schmutch neighbors

There has been some disturbance in the force here lately

Maybe someone can give me some advice on how to deal with this - DS is occasionally self injurious - not too bad, but it's there. He mostly picks his lips. But last year around this time of year and now again he has taken to pulling out his hair, literally. It is not noticable (hooray for that) but there is a patch about the size of a quarter that's gone The school nurse called me about it yesterday. She gave him a ball to squeeze, which I guess is a fine thing to try. He told the nurse he was bored, he told me he was nervous. Anybody have any similiar experiences? Any tips? I asked him not to do it anymore (nicely), and to remember to use the ball.

thanks

 

[Daisy&Max]

Howdy Schmutch neighbors

There has been some disturbance in the force here lately

Maybe someone can give me some advice on how to deal with this - DS is occasionally self injurious - not too bad, but it's there. He mostly picks his lips. But last year around this time of year and now again he has taken to pulling out his hair, literally. It is not noticable (hooray for that) but there is a patch about the size of a quarter that's gone The school nurse called me about it yesterday. She gave him a ball to squeeze, which I guess is a fine thing to try. He told the nurse he was bored, he told me he was nervous. Anybody have any similiar experiences? Any tips? I asked him not to do it anymore (nicely), and to remember to use the ball.

thanks

No real advice, my little son does the same thing with his lips and is doing it badly right now. I keep telling him to move his hands but it doesn't work. Maybe you can ask his teachers to give him a visual cue or a single word cue that will remind him not to do it. this time of year is hard for all kids but for our kids all the disruptions in their normal routines are getting to them. Changes at school, change in the daylight, change in after school activities. Its crazy right now and they are feeling it...badly!

good luck and I hope someone else some answers or suggestions for you!

Daisy