Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[kcmyluv]

I think if you don't go then he Wins!
Don't let him win. Kids will have more fun with you anyway.
Best of luck to you!

 

[disnut8]

I'd still go. I've been over 50 times and when people ask me why I keep going again and again and again, I simply tell them because every trip is different. By the way, I live right by you in between Hamilton Mill and Friendship Road so we're definitely neighbors.

It sounds like your kids were surprised by the trip and they were caught off guard. Don't let that stop you from giving them a gift of a lifetime - a trip they helped planned and saved for. You can teach them so much more than your ex-spouse ever could. How to rise above a situation. Get on with life. Do what YOU want to do with whom you want.

But please do not go to Disney World and make your kids compare and contrast the two vacations. Put the positive spin on it. You may dislike their father but he will always be their father. Keep saying how fortunate they are to go twice in one summer - once with their dad and once with their mom. And how THEY can have a good time (because it should be about them, not you and not your ex-spouse) twice when most kids don't get to go even once. Do everything you wanted to do and how you wanted to do them. Don't let anything stop you with that.

The ball is in your court. You can slink away and give up or you can start living your new free life just like you always wanted to.

 

[jrtoastyman]

First of all, that is brutal, very sorry to hear that.

Here's the good news, though: Disney is about more than just riding the rides, and seeing the shows, it's about getting together as a family and taking it all on. I'm not as grizzled a veteran as some people on here, but I've been a few times, it's been different every time, and a trip with one group of people is entirely different than a trip with another group of people.

On our most recent trip, we had a few days where it was my wife and I with her extended family, a few days where it was just the two of us, and a few days where it was us plus my parents and our daughter. It was like having three different vacations in one, as each leg had its own unique feel to it, and we enjoyed each for different reasons.

I say go. Sounds like you've had a lot of fun building up to the trip, and the anticipation and the bonding you had while planning is something your ex can't match. Let your kids have the pay off of getting to experience the trip that you all planned together.

Regardless of when you go, have fun!

 

[DisneyNic]

I agree with a lot of the PP. I really think you should go. When your kids get home, sit down with them and first listen to them and let them tell you about all of the fun the had. You can get a pretty good feel just from what they are most excited to tell you about. Then sit down with them and ask them if there are things they wanted to do but didn't or things they did but wouldn't want to do again. You will still have an amazing trip with them and I don't think any 10 and 12 year old kids would complain about going to WDW on back-2-back trips (heck, that's my dream!!!) For right now, when (if) they call you from WDW tell them how excited and happy you are for them and let them share their excitement with you. Don't bring up your trip and if they do tell them to focus on having fun with their Dad while they are there. I know that won't be easy, but it is better for you to be the bigger person. You don't need to play his games, that's the new wife's job now (and I'm sure you are better off!!)

 

[brockash]

What a spiteful man. I'm sorry. My opinion is that you still go and have a wonderful time! It can't possibly be the same trip to them and from the sounds of it your daughter would rather it be with YOU! Maybe ask them now what they did (restaurants etc) and try to plan a little differently as much as you can. I KNOW my kids would not mind going again even so close! How old are they???

ETA: What kind of a father has a big wedding without his kids present!! Definately take them......they will have more fun with you.

ITA! Go, take them, have fun and enjoy your vacation. You don't need to let your ex ruin one more thing for you. The vacation with you and the vacation with Dad are 2 very separate vacations for your kids, even if they are both to the same place. Go and have fun...don't worry about your ex. The more you make it a big deal, the more power you're giving him; if he is a spiteful person.

 

[mcever4]

Here's hoping karma finds your ex-spouse. [/QUOTE]



I say go ahead and go! Ask your kids where they ate, what they did, etc. and plan some other special things for them they didn't get to experience. There is a sing a long at FW that might be different and fun. Also Disney Quest is an option.

I know how you feel. My ex (and his family) have tried to do similar things to me. DS is 14 now, so it doesn't work so much anymore! One Christmas when DS was 5 or 6 (ex and I were still married), I had gotten him a Game Boy for his gift from Santa. His dad's sister went and got one too, and when I was putting it out on Christmas Eve he had a fit! Said I had ruined his families gift for our son. They had to go out on Christmas Eve and return it and find something else! SO SORRY!!!! By the way, they KNEW I had gotten it and KNEW it was the ONE thing DS wanted. DS knows how his dad is and your kids will too as they get older.

Be the better person. Karma WILL find your ex! It found mine last year!

Enjoy your trip with your kids and have a MAGICAL time! I see you are staying at AKL...that will be special in its self!!

Robin

 

[JimmyV]

I'm not going to pounce on the ex just yet, as it isn't clear that he knew about your trip. But if he did...well...I simply can't post what I think, if you know what I mean.

In a perfect world, I would choose to do something else with the kids, or postpone. Yes, I would ask them what they want to do. But in reality, they are going to answer you in a way that they think you want to hear. If you asked them if they'd rather go to Dollywood, they'd probably say yes, thinking that that is what you want. So it is right to include them in the decision, but if you ask them if they still want to go, of course they are going to say yes, because they know your heart is aching.

Having said all that, the world is not perfect and it sounds as if you are financially tied in to this vacation by signing a contract. So go, and try to use the trip as a teachable moment where your children can learn and truly appreciate the fact that their "new lives" will be different, and that they will have experiences with both you and their dad, and they shouldn't try to compare or play one off of the other. Each experience will be different, and they should enjoy them all. Let them know that you are happy for them when they are having fun, and not mad at their dad or jealous. And their dad should feel the same way. (At least I hope he does).

A big hug and pixie dust for you and your family.

 

[cbg1027]

I was going to say you should re-schedule, but since you rented points and can't do that, I would definitely GO!

I'm sorry your ex is a horrible person, but forget about him, take your kids, have fun and enjoy yourself!

I highly doubt the kids will be 'tired' of Disney. What kid wouldn't want to go twice in one summer? Sounds like a dream summer to me!

Don't beat yourself up about what your kids might have done with their dad. I'm sure the kids will enjoy doing most of things again, and since it will be with you, their mom, they will get to make more happy memories. Don't feel like they will be comparing trips.

Have fun!!!

 

[tina.tina]

I wanted to chime in that I would still go on your trip- at least it's not their first trip and he took them first.

I also wanted to send you some encouragement for the future. One of my sisters has issues with her ex- he's in jail now for some bad decisions he has made. Unfortunately, she has tried to make her kids understand that he has done something wrong and it has backfired on her. Their kids constantly make excuses for him. That's their dad and they are very defensive of him. So, don't criticize, don't blame, and- if he's in the wrong- don't try to make them see it. It will only cause them to stick up for him.

Just go on your trip and try to have a great attitude. You could tell your kids to show you anything new you don't know about and have them act as mini-tour guides since kids love to be in charge. I think you'll have a great trip and hope you report back letting us know how it goes.

 

[Capt'n Tom]

I would go - and since they helped in the planning make sure that when they return - your team - reviews the plan and determine if you need to make adjustments. There are just so many things to do and so many ways to make Disney special. Do the little things and enjoy them for the the people they are and who you are to them - he cannot take that a way. Sounds like they will have great stories of two vacations to the happiest place. Also - if budget allows (and if the AH has not already done it) look at going a day to Universal to Harry Potter - that will show him. Now back to our Disney happiness. Good luck.

 

[mom2rtk]

Here's what I figure. What he did tells me VOLUMES about his personality.

NO WAY did he take those kids on a kid-centered trip structured around their their wants and desires. Also keep in mind he took the new squeeze. He was probably more focused on HER and what SHE wanted.

Your destination will be the same. But I have a hunch it will be an ENTIRELY different trip. Schedule lots of pool time, sturcture the day around what they wanted to do........ the things you dreamed about and planned together already.

He probably spent a lot of MONEY on them. But I bet you know more about Disney and make better memories.

 

[carly chloe]

Go!!! Don't let him ruin your trip! Don't let him succeed in that. Your kids and you will have a great time!! Your kids helped save for that too and knowing that is going to make them enjoy it even more too!!!

 

[sunshineNJ]

What a moron he is. You are well rid of him!!!! I would defintely still go. If the dates will be close then see if you could move them farther apart. Stay at a different hotel then they did and it will be different experience. Every Disney experience is different. I'm sure your kids will be thrilled to go back. You and the kids can make lists from each park what their favorite rides are and head right back to them. You will still have a great trip.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Since you can't reschedule you should obviously go but I'm not sure why you are so upset with your ex. Did he know you were planning a trip to Disney? Now that you are divorced does that mean he can't take his children there ever again. Let's be fair they are his kids too and Disney is huge. There are so many events held there that you can go during those times too.

 

[hmerritt]

Like a Pp said- now the kids may know what they would like to skip and what they really liked- I'n addition- this trip will be different because it is with mom-how about a special place to watch the fireworks- you will also have different photo ops and lots of different good times.

One of the first thing my ex said when we were separates was that he was going to take dd to Disney before me- and he didn't even like Disney- ripped my heart out- I feel your pain.

When they called me it totally ripped my heart out, and I could tell how difficult it was for them even to tell me. I do want to sayfirst though that my kids are my world. The sun rises and sets around them. He told me when I left him that if I didnt walk away from my kids and the house and the money that he would make my life a living hell and he hasnt stopped since that day. We lost our family home, he let the DVC foreclose, the children have sacrificed at every turn. As hard as it has been and as much as he uses them to hurt me, I have had to be the bigger person every time even when I didnt want to because at the end of the day I still have to look them in the eye and see their hurt or their pain and I can only do what I can live with. But, I will be honest I completely fell apart when they said it and havent been right since. I am glad they are gone so they do not have to witness my pain and I can get it together before they get back. I thought divorcing him was the hardest thing ever, well I have to put this right up there with it.

And no, they are not even staying on Disney property. I however can't imagine not. Its always been a joke that my son never considers us at Disney until we drive through the DTD gates. I too LOVE the magic of driving on property and leaving my cares behind. We have never stayed at AKL and that was where we owned our DVC before it foreclosed, just never had a chance to stay there. Because I rented points I was able to splurge for a savannah view which will be super exciting and hopefully an experience by itself. After having gone many many times, I have always tried to pull something different so no trip seems the same. I did totally forget about the movie on the beach though!! Is that at Beach Club? I have a few secrets planned that we had not done before and after going back and forth the past 24 hours have considered Disney Quest? They love pin trading. My son is obsessed with Legos and Hidden Mickeys has always been cool but we never go the book.

I really appreciate all the replies, this has been hard enough being away from them, much less knowing they are there when it should be us

 

[CTmommyx3]

I am so sad reading this. BUT i know that every trip we have taken has been a different experience each time. I would talk with the kids see what they are thinking.. if you guys agree to still go as planned I am sure it will be a memorable trip! Seeing as you planned it with them and what you were doing and stuff.. they will have a wonderful time with you.
I have no idea if the ex knew about the trip.. if he did and did it to be mean he is not worth anyones time. seeing he did not tell them i can not imagine it being as special as the trip you all have planned together... also how do you not have your kids at the wedding yet grab them for the Disney trip.. weird!

 

[hmerritt]

Since you can't reschedule you should obviously go but I'm not sure why you are so upset with your ex. Did he know you were planning a trip to Disney? Now that you are divorced does that mean he can't take his children there ever again. Let's be fair they are his kids too and Disney is huge. There are so many events held there that you can go during those times too.

Yes he knew we have been planning a trip for the past 18 months. I personally could not imagine taking my kids 2 weeks before a trip he had been planning so long for but I guess everyone is different. Had he shared that with me two weeks ago I could have postponed and gotten my money back.

 

[mom2rtk]

My 10 year old daughter checked the Hidden Micky book out from the library today and loves it. We've already decided to buy it and bring it on our next trip. And I agree pin trading would be great. Don't forget the campfire at the Wilderness Lodge!

 

[lenshanem]

I wonder if the DVC member you rented from can call and see if they can get you moved to Vero Beach or Hilton Head. I see you're in Georgia. Hilton Head is not a bad drive and it's lots of fun. Still has a Disney feel, but it is a completely different experience. Then you can just save the park tickets and plan another trip later. Hilton Head is also a cheap trip. The studios have the microwave, toaster, fridge... We eat breakfast and lunch in the room and find fun places to eat at night. Rent bikes, take a day trip to Savannah and do a ghost tour... You might lose some points on the switch, but this would give you a nice little vacation. Unfortunately, at this point I'm sure you'd have to move your dates, but maybe there is some pixie dust out there. Hugs!

 

[qtmissy19]

Divorce sucks! You know what sucks more? Having to always be the bigger freakin person for the sake of your kids. Go and don't worry about what he did. Have the good time you planned to have with your babies and whatever you do make sure you don't show your hurt to your kids. If your baby girl already text you she was so sorry, then she is already worried about how you feel without you saying a thing. Show her that you are ok and let them have double the fun. If there is one thing I have seen over and over again in divorce it is that there is always at least one crazy parent and for the most part one sane parent. (I am a preschool teacher and see this all the time). Show your babies that you are the sane one, lol. You will have a good time. Just don't focus on what he did. Your kids already know how hard you worked for the trip. Don't let him ruin your time.