Engaged w/o engagement ring??

[dbarker]

I didn't get one right away because it was spur of the moment kinda thing. I did get the plastic ring off the Dr. Pepper bottle he was drinking from.

Me too. Except I think it was a Pepsi. I didn't want an engagement ring. I just wanted a simple wedding band. DH picked out our rings all by himself. He did a wonderful job.

(This was my 2nd marriage / his first and we didn't have a very long engagement.)

 

[buddy&wooz]

I got engaged when I was 18- at least that's when we started planning our life together, there was no real proposal. Close family & friends knew, but we didn't publically say we were engaged (announcement in the paper, had a party) until a year later, when he could afford to give me a ring. Not sure why, that's just the way it happened. Long time ago!

 

[lulugirl]

A girlfriend of mine got married last year...she never had an engagement ring.

Her Dh had saved 10k to buy her a ring, she told him "nice thought, but that's a nice chunk of $$ to put towards buying a home."

I'm very practical and I don't love jewelry, so an engaement ring is no biggie to me.
As for whether or not people will take the engagement seriously...those who know you WILL.

 

[KarenAylwood]

I guess I'll bite the bullet and say I'm in the minority on this thread, but I usually think a ring comes along with an engagement. Even if it is a tiny tiny little diamond that cost $100- it's the symbolism of it. If that's what he could afford, then that's great! He picked it out with you in mind.

I have a friend who's DBF proposed to her without a ring. Came out a few months later that maybe he didn't mean it and not getting a ring was just another step towards not really proposing.

Another I know doesn't have a ring but has been "engaged" forever. Some take it seriously, some don't.

My mother was never given an engagement ring by my father- she actually just got one for her 25th anniversary and it's simply beautiful- but to me it would hold more meaning if it was .25 ct and bought when the proposal was given rather than the beautiful 1.5 ct it is.

I have a wonderful DBF and am living with him- we've been together for 3 years and talk about how we're getting married all the time! There's been no proposal given and I'm just as committed and happy with him as if I was engaged without a ring- it's the same thing to me.

In my opinion- yes, it holds less meaning and to the general public- no, I don't think its taken as seriously. Question is- how much does it really matter what others think? As long as you're happy, then that's all that matters. I personally would not be happily engaged without a ring. I also think it's ridiculous to spend $10K on a ring unless you've got gobs of money. I don't want something flashy, I just want something traditional.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

When DH asked me to marry him I was 1600 miles away. We argued over the ring because he wanted to get me a diamond and I don't do diamonds so I told him why buy something I won't wear! Well I moved back out here and we had our date set then he came up on orders and we had to move the date way up so we ended up running to the courthouse that week and didn't even have wedding bands for the ceremony!
Well a little over a month after we were married we still didn't have any wedding bands and I was rushed to the hospital with my first heart attack---The ER doctor told my DH I was dying and they were running out of options and all my DH could think about was he never got me a ring and that his wife was going to die without a ring so he borrowed money from one of the friends who had come to the hospital and went to the gift shop and bought me one. They cut back on the meds so I could wake up some so my DH could tell me I had a ring and the nurse held up my hand so I could see it. I recovered and about a week after I left the hospital I took the ring off and haven't put it back on since----DH asked me why and I told him it was because I got it because I was about to die and that ring just reminded me of that and not everything else that it should!
When we went to pick out our bands he wanted these carved platinum ones and I didn't--All I wanted was the same simple gold band that I had seen on my grandmothers finger for years and thats what we got.
My engagement ring came after for valentines day and it was my favorite stone which is sapphire---So many people when noticing my ring have asked why I would want that instead of a diamond.==Everyone gets a diamond but not everyone gets a sapphire which means more to me because it's something that only I will have and it was picked specifically for me because of who I am and the way I am.
A ring is a token and it is not needed to become engaged,all that is needed is the love and the desire to spend your life with that person!!!

 

[Sleepy]

Is todays standard for buying an engagement still 3 months salary? Who ever came up with that one?

 

[scrump]

Is todays standard for buying an engagement still 3 months salary? Who ever came up with that one?

I think that's a DeBeers marketing campaign, along with the right hand ring thing. Pretty clever.

 

[Fire14]

Is todays standard for buying an engagement still 3 months salary? Who ever came up with that one?

I do believe it is but not many people I know actually follow it. If my DH had followed that rule the Stone would be WAY to big for me.

 

[disykat]

Okay, that's scary! 15 years ago the standard was TWO months salary. Even then soon to be dh and I laughed at the idea. We spent about two WEEKS salary - which seems to make a lot more sense to me.

 

[DizBelle]

I say do what means the most to you. If you don't care for jewelry or rings, then don't get one. If you like the idea of the symbolism of the engangement ring, then get one. If money is an issue, there are loads of beautiful, quality fakes out there. I would direct you to the Diamonique line at QVC (QVC.com). They have some really lovely selections at extremely reasonable prices. Especially their Epiphany line. The look of platinum and diamonds made EXTREMELY affordable. I have several Diamonique pieces and can vouch for the beauty and quality. You get the symbol but don't have to shell out the cash. If I were getting engaged/married now, this is an option I would definitely consider.

 

[Goobergal99]

I was engaged without a ring. DH and I were together for 8 years when we got engaged so we figured it really didn't matter. We do have wedding bands but honestly he wears his way more the I wear mine. I don't want to wear it to the hospital because it will get all messy and on a day to day basis I just forget it (I know I'm bad) I wear it when we go out to nice places and when I am with the inlaws

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

LuLu - is there something that you and Robbie need to be telling us Funkey Monkey's???!!!!

 

[princess pooh]

I didn't get my engagement ring until 2 months before the wedding. DH knew a jewler in England who was making the ring for us and I had to wait until my BIL travelled to London to get it. Everyone still took us very seriously

 

[tinatark]

I think it depends on the situation - a very good friend of mine had an on/off relationship with a guy - when she finally kicked him to the curb (moved and didn't tell him where she lived) he decided to ask her to marry him. We all felt it was very insincere on his part... he ended up giving her a ring the day of the wedding shower. The marriage lasted about 3 years.

 

[Hermosa11]

Husband proposed to me and gave me this pearl necklace.
I later Wanted a ring....we went and got the rings.....
Teeny tiny diamonds....We got Married.....I then worked overtime and got the diamond enlarged ...........later I worked more overtime and got the diamond enlarged. Finally it was a 1/3 ct. ha ha ha ha Yep, it was in the beginning showcased with mirrors.

Since the gold part was so dang thin and then I had it sized one to go down and once to go up.....it finally cracked and I have not worn it since.

 

[mrsheppo]

DH asked me to marry him on the spur of the moment. We got married 3 days after he asked me. Never had had an engagement ring. He bought my wedding ring on the day of the wedding.

I don't need a fancy ring to have him prove he loves me.

 

[HOGFAN]

I never got one and that was 20 years ago. It was just not important to me.
I never picked out a china pattern either(that drove MIL crazy) . We got simple wedding bands from Service Merchandise and still wear them. Jewelry is just not important to us.

 

[annegal]

I did not have an engagement ring. We married 4 months after deciding to marry, and I wore only a wedding band. A few years later I got my diamond solitaire ring, when we could afford it.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I had a ring and I think that a girl deserves a ring (diamond, sapphire, cz, mood), necklace, car, painting, or something to "seal the deal!" My ring cost less than $1000 (diamond) and it is perfect! I think the "three months salary" thing is crap, but if you really really want to, more power to ya. BTW, both my engagement ring and my wedding band are very thin, and the wedding band frequently goes unnoticed. I frequently get asked when I am getting married...



Hmmm...just thought about this one. If you ask your BF to marry you, you should get him something (power tools? a boat? NFL jersey?)!