End of the Year Teacher Gift - Room Mom rampage

[JamesMom]

Hello all,

My son is in first grade with a great teacher. Teacher appreciation week is the first week of May.
Last Wednesday the parents get an email asking (yes, she did ask) us to bring in an item every day for the week (photo, candy, yada, yada) AND a $8 donation AND volunteer 4 people to bring lunch AND 2 to bring vase.
So, like most people, I ignored it. Something about the whole list thing rubbed me the wrong way.
Friday, we get a 'reminder' e-mail about the list and the $.
Tonight, Monday - we get another email with ASAP all over it. Only half the class has responded - in the whopping five days she gave us.
Now, I'm getting a little peeved. I understand needing to plan, but get over yourself!
I usually do a gift card at the end of the year ($25) and that is that.
I feel like not doing anything for teacher appreciation week just to tick this woman off, lol.
But, no. I'll write this post here and send in my pictures and $8 so as to not ruffle any feathers. I suspect this woman is excellent at holding a grudge.

 

[MPLsDad]

Curious as to how you would have preferred she handle the situation?

 

[skw444]

Well, speaking as a room mom for my daughter's 1st grade class, I wouldn't be so hard on the room mom. The PTA gives us an informational sheet at the beginning of the year on what we need to do as room parents. One of the items is Teacher Appreciation Week. We even get a sample letter of what to ask for. PTA expects you to do something for the teacher and like I said, I don't plan on doing it all myself.

So, I sent the letter out yesterday with what we are doing.

Monday - send in 1 flower so we can collect a "bouquet" to present to her.
Tuesday - I will be giving her a photo album with each childs picture and an
index card written in their handwriting about what they loved
about their teacher. The parents won't have to supply anything
for this since I'll be doing all this myself.
Wednesday - send in a homemade card
Thursday - send in a school supply item to help restock her classroom
Friday - send in a scrapbooking item and I'll put together a basket full.

They also have the option of sending in $10 instead of sending in items each day. I have put that this is all voluntary and they don't have to participate. They have until April 30 to send the money so I have time to purchase items. And I will be sending a reminder next week. I figure I'll get about half the class participation (so around 10 kids).

 

[JamesMom]

Curious as to how you would have preferred she handle the situation?

Maybe 1 email to ask parents to volunteer to bring in one thing and present it on Friday. Instead of getting a picture and candy and five other whatnots and worry about what item for which day- how about just 1 thing - like a handwritten letter from the child or a treat if the child wants to.
And then send a reminder email before the event instead of almost daily 'emergency' emails. She is making this seem like a lot of work than it needs to be. Her heart is in the right place, she is just a litte too ambitious for my tastes.
It was the quantity of specified items that got me riled up. I like my child to decide how he wants to show his appreication rather than me being told what I will or will not do.

 

[soccerchick]

Well, speaking as a room mom for my daughter's 1st grade class, I wouldn't be so hard on the room mom. The PTA gives us an informational sheet at the beginning of the year on what we need to do as room parents. One of the items is Teacher Appreciation Week. We even get a sample letter of what to ask for. PTA expects you to do something for the teacher and like I said, I don't plan on doing it all myself.

So, I sent the letter out yesterday with what we are doing.

Monday - send in 1 flower so we can collect a "bouquet" to present to her.
Tuesday - I will be giving her a photo album with each childs picture and an
index card written in their handwriting about what they loved
about their teacher. The parents won't have to supply anything
for this since I'll be doing all this myself.
Wednesday - send in a homemade card
Thursday - send in a school supply item to help restock her classroom
Friday - send in a scrapbooking item and I'll put together a basket full.

They also have the option of sending in $10 instead of sending in items each day. I have put that this is all voluntary and they don't have to participate. They have until April 30 to send the money so I have time to purchase items. And I will be sending a reminder next week. I figure I'll get about half the class participation (so around 10 kids).

Your last part is key. While the OP's room mom may have asked, and MAY have said it was voluntary, the additional ASAP emails indicated otherwise. We had one of these room moms last year. I just sent her an email that we have our own plans for Teacher Appreciation Week and/or end of school year and we will not be participating in the group gift.

I much prefer the "I'm going to get Mrs. Smith a gift certificate to the mall. If you would like to contribute to this group gift, send in $ by this date and I will purchase that night."

 

[ChrisinNJ]

We do a similar thing here. How much store bought stuff is asked for varies by room mom, but we have sent in:

a piece of fruit to make a basket
single cut flower from garden to make a bouquet
item for a gardening basket (pack of seeds)
beauty basket (sent nail polish remover & cotton balls)


We have also had free items like email the teacher, home made cards, I sent home a cut out of a chocolate kiss one year for the kids to decorate at home & send in for "kisses for teacher day."

Completely aside from all of this, the PTA organizes breakfast for the teachers all week & a teachers luncheon one day. I volunteer for this as well, and bring in a dish.

 

[JamesMom]

Well, speaking as a room mom for my daughter's 1st grade class, I wouldn't be so hard on the room mom. The PTA gives us an informational sheet at the beginning of the year on what we need to do as room parents. One of the items is Teacher Appreciation Week. We even get a sample letter of what to ask for. PTA expects you to do something for the teacher and like I said, I don't plan on doing it all myself.

So, I sent the letter out yesterday with what we are doing.

Monday - send in 1 flower so we can collect a "bouquet" to present to her.
Tuesday - I will be giving her a photo album with each childs picture and an
index card written in their handwriting about what they loved
about their teacher. The parents won't have to supply anything
for this since I'll be doing all this myself.
Wednesday - send in a homemade card
Thursday - send in a school supply item to help restock her classroom
Friday - send in a scrapbooking item and I'll put together a basket full.

They also have the option of sending in $10 instead of sending in items each day. I have put that this is all voluntary and they don't have to participate. They have until April 30 to send the money so I have time to purchase items. And I will be sending a reminder next week. I figure I'll get about half the class participation (so around 10 kids).

I guess I don't see why it has to be so 'scheduled'. This is quite similar to what my class is doing. I didn't realize this was a tradition. This is my oldest and I guess I still have a few ropes to learn. I am a let me write a check type of mom and detest fund raisers and the like, so this sort of structured thing doesn't appeal to me.

 

[JamesMom]

Your last part is key. While the OP's room mom may have asked, and MAY have said it was voluntary, the additional ASAP emails indicated otherwise. We had one of these room moms last year. I just sent her an email that we have our own plans for Teacher Appreciation Week and/or end of school year and we will not be participating in the group gift.

I much prefer the "I'm going to get Mrs. Smith a gift certificate to the mall. If you would like to contribute to this group gift, send in $ by this date and I will purchase that night."

 

[NeedaVacation03]

I can honestly say that I am so glad that my childrens school does not do this. I truly appreciate the teachers that my children have and I do purchase things for them at Christmas and the end of the year. But I do not really like the idea of the whole week thing. I am sure that the teachers do appreciate the thought behind it, but to me it just looks like more "stuff". I know that a lot of the teachers say they have so much stuff and this just seems to add to it. Also from a cost stand point I just would not have the $$. I have 4 children and it seems like someone and/or organization is always asking for $$.
I have been a room mother many times over the years and am very glad that I never had to plan anything like this. I do appreciate all the work that room moms do, but I do think that some try to go over the top or one up each other. Our PTO has never asked us to do anything like this and I served on the PTO a few years ago. I also know that some parents can not afford this extra cost even if they wanted to. I just think a nice card from the kids in the class would be plenty.

 

[Brancaneve]

Question for you Jamesmom.....

Did the list and emails come from the teacher or the room mom?

 

[OceanAnnie]

Firstly, I appreciate the teachers and room moms as I'm sure we all do. Sometimes it is such a barrage of requests (volunteer, gifts, dishes, donations) it is quite overwhelming. Everything is coming into full swing for us too.

 

[muscarello4]

People love to send in "stuff" for the teacher. I'll tell you what goes a lot farther. Send an e-mail to the principal and cc: the teacher. Talk specifically about what the teacher has done that has impacted your child. The teacher will appreciate it and the principal will hear all of the great things that are happening in the teacher's classroom.

Principal's are often the sounding board for every little issue. How nice it would be for them to hear the positives that are happening everyday.

A letter or e-mail message conveys much more meaning than a bunch of flowers. I like getting the "stuff" just like the next guy, but I would much prefer my boss to know directly from parents that I am a great teacher!

Good luck dealing with the nightmare! I hate that kind of thing, too!

 

[bumbershoot]

skw444, what happens if the children do NOT love the teacher? Wonder what I would have written to the 5th grade teacher who had a nervous breakdown in front of the class....and then came back to teach the SAME group for 6th grade...


So glad we didn't do these things when I was in school! And as DS's teacher, I can't imagine him doing ALL of those things for me each year. Talk about overkill! And I don't even get paid for it!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would just like to add that I'm surprised that nothing has really changed as far as "school" expectations this year (in regards to the barrage). Our big fundraiser is the same, but we are not getting the same level of interest/participation (way down from years past). It's the economy. I don't know why that wasn't taken into consideration.

 

[mamalle]

would just like to add that I'm surprised that nothing has really changed as far as "school" expectations this year (in regards to the barrage). Our big fundraiser is the same, but we are not getting the same level of interest/participation (way down from years past). It's the economy. I don't know why that wasn't taken into consideration

BINGO

Im not sure why they are not getting with the times. I know at my kids school they are all upset about not getting enough donations, etc for the annual school carnival. I for one and not spending $20 on wristbands for my kids to ride rides and pay for food, games on top of that. I told my daughter that her end of the year trip to epcot( and I thought that was a bit too much for 4th graders as it is) just had to be enough. I sent it some small for the basket they raffle off for each class and that is it. Times are tough. When did we get so materialistic about things and think that 8-9 year olds need to travel 3 hours for end of the school year trip? I remember going to a local park and bringing a bag lunch for the end of the year trip...Not to mention all the stuff for teacher's appreciation week and every day having to send in something.

 

[notsosnowwhite]

People love to send in "stuff" for the teacher. I'll tell you what goes a lot farther. Send an e-mail to the principal and cc: the teacher. Talk specifically about what the teacher has done that has impacted your child. The teacher will appreciate it and the principal will hear all of the great things that are happening in the teacher's classroom.

Principal's are often the sounding board for every little issue. How nice it would be for them to hear the positives that are happening everyday.

A letter or e-mail message conveys much more meaning than a bunch of flowers. I like getting the "stuff" just like the next guy, but I would much prefer my boss to know directly from parents that I am a great teacher!

Good luck dealing with the nightmare! I hate that kind of thing, too!

This is a great suggestion!
Our PTO takes care of teacher appreciation week. They do a great job of including all teachers, not just homeroom teachers. Specialists such as music, gym, music, technology, and special education teachers often get overlooked during these weeks. Since it's so close to the end of the school year for us (we're finished before memorial day) most parents just do an end of the year gift.

I think you're wise to go with the flow as much as possible. You have a long future with the parents of other students in your child's class. Pick battles wisely.

 

[OceanAnnie]

BINGO

Im not sure why they are not getting with the times. I know at my kids school they are all upset about not getting enough donations, etc for the annual school carnival. I for one and not spending $20 on wristbands for my kids to ride rides and pay for food, games on top of that. I told my daughter that her end of the year trip to epcot( and I thought that was a bit too much for 4th graders as it is) just had to be enough. I sent it some small for the basket they raffle off for each class and that is it. Times are tough and when did we get so materialistic about things and think that 8-9 year olds need to travel 3 hours for end of the school year trip? god I remember going to a local park and bringing a bag lunch for the end of the year trip...Not to mention all the stuff for teacher's appreciation week and every day having to send in something..

Isn't that the truth?!! We're not either! And so it appears lots from our school. On top of those costs, they are calling for volunteers to work it on top of that! I'm sorry, it's not happening. We are tightening the belt.

Times have changed!

 

[Bellastumbles]

Teacher here too! Last year we each recieved a book with a special memory from each child in our class and some from past years too. i still have that book and it makes me smile each time I look at it. That being said this is a tough year for teachers here in NJ many of us have lost or will lose our jobs due to huge budget cuts....May 1st is D-day for the states' teachers. My job is safe since I work in a private school but some of my family members and close friends are waiting to hear what will happen to them. What I am getting at is that we need to show appreciation for teachers, in anyway we can!

 

[Beckypooh1972]

I can honestly say that I am so glad that my childrens school does not do this. I truly appreciate the teachers that my children have and I do purchase things for them at Christmas and the end of the year. But I do not really like the idea of the whole week thing. I am sure that the teachers do appreciate the thought behind it, but to me it just looks like more "stuff". I know that a lot of the teachers say they have so much stuff and this just seems to add to it. Also from a cost stand point I just would not have the $$. I have 4 children and it seems like someone and/or organization is always asking for $$.
I have been a room mother many times over the years and am very glad that I never had to plan anything like this. I do appreciate all the work that room moms do, but I do think that some try to go over the top or one up each other. Our PTO has never asked us to do anything like this and I served on the PTO a few years ago. I also know that some parents can not afford this extra cost even if they wanted to. I just think a nice card from the kids in the class would be plenty.

I could not agree more! My kids are only 3 and not in school yet but I am concerned about other parents' expressing how schools nickel and dime them to death with charitable giving, non school work related tasks, additional school supplies, etc. I'm not really one to "conform" - something tells me the PTA isn't going to like me, lol. Many friends who are parents talk about having to help their children (who aren't even old enough to read and write yet) complete numerous school assignments, literally spending hours on helping with homework. This is all so discouraging. Seems like if more people had the courage to say no the school systems wouldn't have these practices. There is a reason most school board positions are elected by the people. I guess I'll be in the same boat with most of you guys in a couple of years when my kids turn five.

 

[snowwhitesmom]

People love to send in "stuff" for the teacher. I'll tell you what goes a lot farther. Send an e-mail to the principal and cc: the teacher. Talk specifically about what the teacher has done that has impacted your child. The teacher will appreciate it and the principal will hear all of the great things that are happening in the teacher's classroom.

Principal's are often the sounding board for every little issue. How nice it would be for them to hear the positives that are happening everyday.

A letter or e-mail message conveys much more meaning than a bunch of flowers. I like getting the "stuff" just like the next guy, but I would much prefer my boss to know directly from parents that I am a great teacher!

Good luck dealing with the nightmare! I hate that kind of thing, too!

I could not agree more -we [educators] would like nothing more than a thank you - [and the email to the principal is something I myself have done for our own children's teachers]