Embarrassing Misunderstandings

[Skywalker]

Ever had one?

When my kids were younger there was a PSA running on TV in our area, talking about if alcoholism is effecting your life, where you could call to get help. It showed two scared little kids having to fend for themselves while their mother was passed out drunk on the couch with like an empty wine glass dangling out of her limp hand or something.

At around this same time, I was working a lot of hours and overnights, and I did tend to fall asleep on the couch in the evening (my husband was there, the kids weren't alone lol)

Well, we were with a group settling in to watch an event together, and this ad came on...and my son said loudly "Hey! That's just like you mommy!"

I wanted to die!!

It was so awkward, I mean, try explaining that you are not a neglectful alcoholic and the more you sound like one in denial LOL....

Luckily my husband was around to back me up though.

This happened several years ago but I saw one of those people yesterday, and it triggered the cringey memory.

 

[design_mom]

When my son was a preschooler, our son used to like to play with the dramatic play items and one time he was pretending to put on lipstick. The teacher asked him "Who do you know who wears lipstick?" (I assume she was expecting him to say me, although I rarely wear it.) Apparently he replied, "My daddy!!!!" My husband ALWAYS has *chapstick* in his pocket and uses it often, but he doesn't wear lipstick. I think he wanted to disappear into a hole when the teacher retold that story.

 

[sam_gordon]

Oldest DD was around 3 when we found out we were expecting #2. We were spreading the word around church when DD started announcing to everyone "I know how to make love!" Someone asked her how, she got a crayon and piece of paper and wrote L O V E.

 

[DisneyTarheel]

When our kids were much younger, we had a teacher tell us at the beginning of the school year that she promised not to believe everything our child says happens at home if we promised not to believe everything they say happens in her classroom. She was being somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but they were wise words.

 

[AndreaDM]

When my now 30-year old was a preschooler, I had told her when she was an infant and couldn't stop crying, I'd put her wicker bassinet on top of the dryer and turn it on, the sound and vibration put her right to sleep. I found out later she informed everyone at school I had put her IN the dryer to stop her crying.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I think I told this story before here, so I'll make it short. Mom and Dad having friends over for dinner. Mom realizes that she's out of napkins and sends me to the corner store by myself for the first time ever to buy some. I buy a pretty purple box that had the word 'napkins' on the front. I come home very proud of myself for completing the mission, so I plop the box down in the middle of the table full of their friends and loudly say, "Here's your napkins, Mom!"

Yes, you guessed it. It was a box of maxi pads.

 

[kcool]

When I started dating my husband his son was 9. He proudly told me that his dad was a coke addict…luckily I already knew about his Coca Cola addiction. Lol.

 

[happily single]

I have two funny ones. When my DD and DS were younger my DS was very very active. My ds3 (mostly nonverbal) put his hand on the stove burner. The old electric coil kind. This happened as I was opening the oven door And I quickly picked him up and was holding him. He had a minor burn. Just as this happens My dd4 came walking into the kitchen.

when I dropped the kids off at daycare the next morning I forget to tell staff. They noticed the burn so they asked DD. She told them “mommy put Joe in the oven because he was crying”.

recently I had my ex BF in my studio for a massage. English is maybe the 5th language he learned (yes, he speaks 7 languages), he sometimes has trouble with translating and or pronouncing some words. After the massage he comes out into the lobby and tells me “wow, I could really feel my nuts when you pressed into my shoulders.
if you could have seen my face-actually he did see my face. I corrected him “yes, you could feel your KNOTS”

 

[prairie_girl]

omg these are all great. I hope this turns into the next mega thread!

 

[Tinkerbell58]

I had just returned home from grocery shopping and my DS3 saw the strawberries I had just bought on the table. I told him before he can eat any, I have to wash them off first.

After I was done putting away the groceries, I started a load of laundry. However, I couldn't find the strawberries I had just put on the table. When the laundry was done, I found the strawberries. My DS put them in the washing machine to wash them off. My clothes had strawberry stains on them.

 

[bsmcneil]

Ever had one?

When my kids were younger there was a PSA running on TV in our area, talking about if alcoholism is effecting your life, where you could call to get help. It showed two scared little kids having to fend for themselves while their mother was passed out drunk on the couch with like an empty wine glass dangling out of her limp hand or something.

At around this same time, I was working a lot of hours and overnights, and I did tend to fall asleep on the couch in the evening (my husband was there, the kids weren't alone lol)

Well, we were with a group settling in to watch an event together, and this ad came on...and my son said loudly "Hey! That's just like you mommy!"

I wanted to die!!

It was so awkward, I mean, try explaining that you are not a neglectful alcoholic and the more you sound like one in denial LOL....

Luckily my husband was around to back me up though.

This happened several years ago but I saw one of those people yesterday, and it triggered the cringey memory.

There was a bumper sticker on a car in front of us that I swear said, "Honk if you're ornery." And I (I think age 9?) told my mom to honk. Because she was! And when she asked me why in the world I would say that, I said, "Because you're always in such a bad mood!" (though what I really meant was mad/angry but I thought this was a nicer way of saying it). Let me tell y'all - (a) probably not wise to suggest to someone always mad that she should acknowledge always being mad and (b) that bumper sticker did not say ornery but rather horny, a word I did not yet know. But then, (c) since my answer didn't specify the mad part - only the bad mood part - my mother didn't know whether to laugh or cry ... A similar situation occurred one time when my mother said a place looked like a horror house, or at least - that's what I *thought* she said when I repeated it (southern accents and all) ...

 

[BrianL]

There was a bumper sticker on a car in front of us that I swear said, "Honk if you're ornery." And I (I think age 9?) told my mom to honk. Because she was! And when she asked me why in the world I would say that, I said, "Because you're always in such a bad mood!" (though what I really meant was mad/angry but I thought this was a nicer way of saying it). Let me tell y'all - (a) probably not wise to suggest to someone always mad that she should acknowledge always being mad and (b) that bumper sticker did not say ornery but rather horny, a word I did not yet know. But then, (c) since my answer didn't specify the mad part - only the bad mood part - my mother didn't know whether to laugh or cry ... A similar situation occurred one time when my mother said a place looked like a horror house, or at least - that's what I *thought* she said when I repeated it (southern accents and all) ...

I had one like this when I was younger. There was this well-known spot in town that had lots of neon lights and such. A sign in the window had a word I knew - "Arcade." I once said in the car when we were driving by, "I want to go THERE." You know, I'm thinking I can play some Pac-Man or Donkey Kong...but it wasn't that kind of arcade, if you know what I mean.

 

[bsmcneil]

I had one like this when I was younger. There was this well-known spot in town that had lots of neon lights and such. A sign in the window had a word I knew - "Arcade." I once said in the car when we were driving by, "I want to go THERE." You know, I'm thinking I can play some Pac-Man or Donkey Kong...but it wasn't that kind of arcade, if you know what I mean.

Oh yeah, I made that one, too! I was like, "It says arcade! And even adults can have fun there!" lol

 

[bsmcneil]

OK, I have another (and yes, this might/likely gives some insight to the fact that I did not grow up in the most mundane/respectful houses). I had heard my mom use a term a number of times to describe her ex-husband/my step-dad. And so one day, we were sort of playfully verbally fighting (in front of my grandmother no less) when she called me a jerk. I thought I could "one-up" her by adding a syllable (a la - "you're dumb", "you're dumber!") and so I used the phrase I had heard her say countless times, which ended with the opposite of "on." I don't know if I've ever seen my mother's eyes get so big so fast. And it really didn't help me any when I pointed out that I learned it from her!

 

[RogueX]

When I was in preschool my mom was pregnant with younger sister and quite far along. I never really paid much attention to people's sizes in the past, but as my mother was getting larger, I started noticing other people's shapes, particularly my teacher and just naturally assumed that because she had a big belly, she must be having a baby. Well, my mom was quite embarrassed when she mentioned that to the teacher on parent night and she was politely told "I'm not pregnant, just chubby".

 

[ronandannette]

omg these are all great. I hope this turns into the next mega thread!

{{sigh}} Oh, all right, if you insist...
We had a group outing at a local amusement park when my DS was 7. Several of the dads were grabbing a quick smoke in the fenced off smoking area when the kids (excited after having just ridden something fun) came racing into the area to find them. DH happened to be holding his cigarette at his waist level and they were not expecting the kids at all; DS rushed straight into it and got a little burn on his upper arm. DH felt like a horrible monster; he wept harder than DS.

For weeks afterwards our DS would quite gleefully tell people what happened and DH would die a thousand deaths all over again; DS started getting a kick out of seeing his Daddy squirm. At that point I finally told him he needed to STOP talking about it to people, it was a total accident and he knew how sad and sorry Dad was. That was that - or so we thought.

A year later DS broke his wrist while climbing fences with a friend. In the children's hospital ER he was asked a few routine questions where they gently screen for abuse. One of the questions was something along the lines of "has anyone in your family ever hurt you"? His answer was "Well, there was that time Dad burnt me with a cigarette, but I'm not allowed to talk about it".

 

[prairie_girl]

{{sigh}} Oh, all right, if you insist...
We had a group outing at a local amusement park when my DS was 7. Several of the dads were grabbing a quick smoke in the fenced off smoking area when the kids (excited after having just ridden something fun) came racing into the area to find them. DH happened to be holding his cigarette at his waist level and they were not expecting the kids at all; DS rushed straight into it and got a little burn on his upper arm. DH felt like a horrible monster; he wept harder than DS.

For weeks afterwards our DS would quite gleefully tell people what happened and DH would die a thousand deaths all over again; DS started getting a kick out of seeing his Daddy squirm. At that point I finally told him he needed to STOP talking about it to people, it was a total accident and he knew how sad and sorry Dad was. That was that - or so we thought.

A year later DS broke his wrist while climbing fences with a friend. In the children's hospital ER he was asked a few routine questions where they gently screen for abuse. One of the questions was something along the lines of "has anyone in your family ever hurt you"? His answer was "Well, there was that time Dad burnt me with a cigarette, but I'm not allowed to talk about it".

I'm sorry for laughing but that is hilarious

 

[disykat]

My DH and I took a couples communication class at our church. It was an excellent program with a suggested format to talk about hot button issues so you could both be heard and understood. As part of the class, we took turns being the example couples and were supposed to pick an issue that was real, but NOT a hot button issue and then follow the format we were learning. DH picked money (which isn't generally a hot button issue for us) and started our faux fight with "We've got to do something about spending, our credit card bill was higher than my paycheck this month." I was supposed to demonstrate listening techniques and I was SOOOO horrified because I couldn't defend the statement he made, only listen as he dug himself deeper making us sound more and more irresponsible with money. I was a SAHM at the time and a little sensitive to the idea that people might think I was out shopping or something and taking advantage of DH and the ONLY thing on the bill was DH's dental implant (That he chose to do without my input when he could have just had a bridge) and we had the money to pay it right off. I was SOOOO horrified that a bunch of people at our church think I have a spending problem!!! I'm still embarrassed about it and it was over 20 years ago! Our joke for many years has been about how that couples communication class (which happened to have been a great class) caused a HUGE fight for us!

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

It is 1.40 in the morning here. I was fast asleep at 11pm but then my daughter telephoned for a chat and now I can’t get back to sleep. Your stories are far more entertaining than the sheep I was counting.

 

[ronandannette]

I'm sorry for laughing but that is hilarious

Hold your sides...

When DS was potty training we used an incentive. He was crazy for Toy Story at the time and we offered him the action figure of his choice when he reached a certain milestone. When he did, we all happily went off to get the toy and it was awesome - a two-pack including foot-high Buzz and Woody with opposable joints and buttons to push to make them speak their most iconic lines. He was in heaven!!

So much did he love them that he was excited to show-and-tell anybody who crossed his path and he always had at least one of them in hand. One morning the doorbell rang unexpectedly. I was in the kitchen and he beat me to the door. I heard him gleefully squeal "I've got a big Woody" as I rounded the corner to see the pastor of our church standing there, beet red.