Elderly drivers

[LindsayDunn228]

I stopped by the mall yesterday. To my left was a white Caddy, In front of my car was a Caddy that was similar to the other. Two elderly folks, looked to be husband and wife in their mid- 70s, approached the car in front of me with a remote lock/unlock. They couldn't understand why their trunk wouldn't open.

They then notice the trunk of the Caddy beside me had popped open.

Then the woman gets in the drivers seat. She puts the car in drive and plows into the parking curb in front of her. She then puts the car in reverse and goes on her way.

Whew. Poor guys.

I hate to sound ***chy, but drivers really should be retested yearly after they reach a certain age. I prayed these folks got home without hurting themselves or anyone else.

ETA: My husband's grandfather is a person I really admire. He was about 70 years old (if I remember the story correctly). He went into town to the farming store, got back in his car and couldn't remember how to get back home. He went into the Hardee's across the the street, ordered a cup of coffee, and got his thoughts together. He remember his way home, drove home, hung up his keys and never drove again.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

Sometimes children must step in where the state refuses to act and tell their parents that their days of driving are over. It's tough to do, but it could end up saving someone's life. It's sad that most states don't do annual tests and some that do continue to license senior drivers who shouldn't be driving.

 

[Planogirl]

Part of the problem is that there aren't always grown children to step in. Plus many seniors have no other way of getting around.

Testing would be nice but then what happens to those who can no longer drive if they don't have anyone that can help them? That's what worries me.

 

[Ranatra]

I have to agree.
About 10 years ago when my Mom turned 70 we put an end to her driving.
We noticed that she seemed to be getting a little bit confused at times. She took it well and didn't even put up a fuss about it.

 

[Blondy876]

It's such a tough situation. My grandmother is 84 and still driving. But she knows her limits. She will only drive when necessary, during the day in clear weather. Any other time I take her where she needs to go.

I agree that there needs to be some kind of system of checks. My Uncle was 73 but a terrible driver. He had no reaction time, got lost a lot, half the time he couldn't even figure out where to put the key in. We talked with his doctor who admitted that he shouldn't be driving but wouldn't give us a letter to take to the DMV stating that. We finally had to lie to him about it when he ran over some ladies mailbox, and yelled at her for damaging his car.

I can't imagine having my license taken away. Being able to drive = freedom. I live in a very rural area so taking a bus is out of the question. It's got to be so tough to get older.

 

[always quiet]

My father is 86 and still drives, but he doesn't drive in bad weather, doesn't drive if he is not sure where he's going (like to a new doctor or something) and doesn't drive in the dark. My neighbor, who is somewhere in his early 70's REALLY needs to park it! He has backed into the tree that is in the yard across the street from his house, backed into a car that was parked there, has driven into his driveway and hit the tree that is in his yard and also hit his house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My kids have a basketball net in the street in front of our house. I always tell them that if they see him coming down the street or getting into his car to leave his house, they are to wait for him to leave while standing in our yard...no where near the street!!!!!!!!! He lives alone and no family is in the area. He walks with a cane and I swear, I have no clue how he's not gotten pulled over and lost his license...I have seen him on the road...it's not pretty!!

 

[Martha7]

When we lived in Florida, I read stories about horrific accidents every day where elderly drivers plowed into storefronts. last year in California, there was that terrible case of an elderly gentleman plowing down many people at an outdoor street fair, I recall. For some reason, they seem to get the gas and brake pedals confused and lose control of the car. It happens here in Michigan too, but the concentration of elderly in Southeast Florida must have been the reason for the increased incidents. I agree with the other posters on this thread. Most of the US doesn't have an efficient public transportation system, so seniors have few choices besides driving. I'm thinking that the AARP is so powerful as well, that they may be fighting any efforts for mandatory re-checks of elderly drivers. I don't know this for sure, I'm just guessing. It'd be interesting to look into it. Unfortunately, many innocent people have been injured or lost their lives at the hands of these drivers. I'm not aware of what legislative efforts are being made to solve the problem. Maybe someone else out there is more informed about this issue...

 

[RadioNate]

Didn't AAA release a study last year that said if you remove the 16-17 year old statistics people over 65 are most likely to be involved in a deadly accident.

It bothers me a lot too. I think about my grandfather who was so crippled physcially and mentally from parkinsons yet the state of FL renewed his DL by mail. The man couldn't feed himself but legally he could still drive. I think if he could have gotten to the car he would have too!

My grandmother probablly should quit driving but there is no one to help her. She knows her limits and only goes out when 100% necessary. She never drives at night. Fr the ladies lunches etc she rides with someone in better shape to drive. She has groceries delivered, laundry picked up and serviced, etc. She drives to church and other accasional places like the bank.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Wow just today there was an elderly man behind me driving irratically, swerving off to the side etc. I told ds to keep an eye on him in the mirror. I told him he reminded me of grandpa driving and how he would switch lanes with no signal etc. Sure enough he switched lanes and cut in front of me because he was in the wrong lane, he beeped at me after he switched. Sadly this man shouldnt be driving. My fil was always getting into accidents. We begged him to stop driving. He did have an alternative to take a taxi or use the local senior citizens bus. He had knee problems and we knew it was hard for him. Finally we think the police must have reported him to the state because the state said he had to come in and take a road test or his license would be suspended. He died shortly after that. I think he could face giving up his freedom either. At the grocery store recently I saw an older lady searching for her car etc. Calling to people not there. It was just a sad situation. Our town does have a bus for drs. appt. etc. I just dont know if some of the seniors know what resources are available to them etc. My fil could have gotten a taxi but he was just too cheap. Mostly he was too stubborn and set in his ways. When you live over 100 miles away there is not much you can do sadly.

 

[snoopy]

We're in a never-ending battle with my FIL over this same issue. Sadly, he fell asleep at the wheel 2 years ago and ran into a telephone pole, which resulted in my MIL's death. He was travelling from Ohio to Maryland at the time and the long drive was just too much for him, heck its a lot for me and I'm 30+ years younger than he is.

So he returned home to his town, devastated of course over the loss of his wife. He didn't drive for a long time -- but then he started driving around town and such and got into another accident, this time fortunately it was only a fender bender, but who knows what the next time will be? My BIL stepped in and told him no more driving, but he's managed to sneak out unnoticed in his car more than a few times. They have hid the keys to no avail, he always finds them. MVA is of no help, as long as he has a valid driver's license, he's entitled to drive, and they can't sell the car out from under him because its his name only. My FIL is a very stubborn man who does not take orders from anyone. So we all wait in fear for the next accident and pray he'll come to his senses and stop driving all together. Fortunately, he has 3 sons and 2 daughters who live within 10 miles of him, and all are willing to help him with grocery shopping and other errands he needs to run. I think its just a matter of relinquishing control.....its sad, really.

 

[sue1013]

It's hard dealing with those that shouldn't be driving any longer. My mother is one that no longer should be. My step father stopped driving about a year ago he couldn't stay to the right so would end up in the wrong lane. Since then my mother has been doing all the driving. My sister and myself have seen her driving its scary. We've had many discussions about this, she promises she won't drive but we find out she's lying. Its hard she doesn't live close to us she's about 40 miles away. She doesn't have to she lives in an over 55 community that has busses to take them wherever they want to go. I took her keys a couple weeks ago since I found out she is not only driving them she's driving other seniors to dr appointments. My clueless step sister that lives about 5 miles from her and had their extra set of keys gave them back! I called her asked what was she doing, didn't she know how bad she is on the road. Bad enough if she hurt themselves but what about the innocent people on the road. Step sisters answer was that I don't know what I'm talking about and should stay out of their business. I really, really wish the state would make seniors take tests yearly. In the meantime I pray that she doesn't cause an innocent person to be hurt.

 

[kerrynic78]

When I first moved to FL, I went to the DMV to get my license. There was an elderly woman in front of me renewing her license and she had to take the eye exam. She must have failed that thing 10 times but the lady at DMV let her take it over and over until she got it correct! I was completely shocked but maybe this is the "norm"?!?!?

 

[wnissen]

Snoopy,

Disconnect the wire to the starter. The car won't even turn over, and hopefully he won't be able to find someone to fix it.

Walt

 

[DISshopkeeper]

When I first moved to FL, I went to the DMV to get my license. There was an elderly woman in front of me renewing her license and she had to take the eye exam. She must have failed that thing 10 times but the lady at DMV let her take it over and over until she got it correct! I was completely shocked but maybe this is the "norm"?!?!?

The last time I renewed my license in PA, I had a similar experience. And elderly woman and her DH. The woman was renewing. All that's involved at this step of the process is answering the organ donor questions and having your picture taken. She was clearly very confused, and required a LOT of assistance. And walked out with a license.

I was next in line and I was so shaken by this that I could not recall my social security number when asked!!!

 

[chrissyk]

When I first moved to FL, I went to the DMV to get my license. There was an elderly woman in front of me renewing her license and she had to take the eye exam. She must have failed that thing 10 times but the lady at DMV let her take it over and over until she got it correct! I was completely shocked but maybe this is the "norm"?!?!?

This would appear to be the norm in FL at least. The same thing happened when my DH went to get his FL license, except that it was a senile old man who got like 10 tries to pass the eye exam. It's frightening that someone that blind and senile is allowed behind the wheel by the state.

 

[SleepyMom]

That is a really sad story, it is so hard when the elderly get to that point, I really feel for them.

Many years ago when we first moved to this town we were out driving around and I saw a car that I thought looked like my Great-Aunt & Uncles. Since we had just moved here I hadn't gotten a chance yet to go see them, so I wasn't 100% sure it was them we were behind. The car was going in the direction of their home and so I told my DH "well, if the car turns right up here in 2 blocks then it is them". Car keeps going past their corner so I tell DH I must be wrong it wasn't them, and right at that moment my Uncle turned to my Aunt (she was driving) and I could tell he was giving her heck for missing their corner. Not funny when you think about it, but my Uncle was such a cut-up I could just hear him.

Pretty soon I started taking them to all their appointments and such because my Uncle was quickly losing his sight, he always knew right where we were he just couldn't see to drive it. He had always been the driver, so she didn't start driving until her late 60's when his vision became so bad. A few years later he passed away and she would still try and drive sometimes, even though I always offered to take her everywhere. Their house shared a driveway with the house next door, it was so narrow that I never even tried to navigate it... but here my Aunt was parking her car in the garage behind the house all the time. Soon we all noticed the scrapes and dents on the car and even the house was taking a beating, we convinced her she needed to sell that car and thankfully she never fought us on it. (They never had any kids).

I know it was hard on her to lose that independence, so I did my very best to always be available to her for appointments and grocery shopping, etc...


Just reminded me of another relative. When we were growing up he lived outside of town about 15 miles and there were these 2 really large hills between town and his place. During the summer Rapid City is a huge tourist place and whenever we would be going out on Rimrock Road if we ever saw a line of cars we knew Uncle Hank was in front in his old car. All these tourists were going about 10 miles an hour and just mad as can be, and sure enough when everyone starting passing and we got to the front there he was, putt-putting along. Always made us laugh. Now I realize how dangerous it probably was, but as a kid it was just funny knowing Uncle Hank had come to town that day.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

OK, first let me say that maybe the people were just confused about the cars being similar. One day last winter I walked out of school and opened the passenger door of a trailblazer parked where I always parked mine. Some parent said 'CAN I HELP YOU?" It was NOT mine, it was next to mine, and dark blue instead of black. I tried to laugh it off but she obviously was angry. And I was only 41!
Second, while I agree in principle (we took my grandma's license away after observing her driving home from the store and never signalling once, she told my dad "everyone knows where I'm going") I know with today's mobile society some folks just don't have relatives to help out or reliable public transportation. My mom for a period of time had to grocery shop 3x a week--for us, for her mom, and for her MIL. Now I live 5 minutes away from my folks and I would hope that if it came to that I could be as helpful--in fact that's one reason I give for staying closer to their city and not the suburb I work in. But on the other hand, if my dad had some kind of "emergency" (in his mind that could be a great sale on coffee with double coupons) he is going to go take care of it whether I'm working or not, so I hope it never comes to trying to take his keys away. And when some old folks' kids live 1000 miles away, there isn't any option for them.
Robin M.

 

[gshanny]

I am facing a big decision along these lines. My Gma is 81. Due to fate being very cruel she is all alone. She lost her DH and both kids in the space of 14 months. I am the closest Gchild and I am an hour away. My sister is a little farther, and always acts put out to go see her, my brother is half way across the country and getting ready to head to Iraq. I wasn't supposed to be the one to take care of her. I have my, and DH's parents to look out for in the future. I am only 36 and no idea how I am going to go about this. She can barely find our house and we are easier to get to I think than before we moved last year. Her driving is ok, but I know it is a matter of time before it gets worse. She had a hip replaced and limps now and has to pull that leg into the car, which happens to be her gas pedal foot.
Just 2 years ago, the night before school started, we had an elderly neighbor lady drive into our house and took out the entire bay window. She walked with a walker and should never have been behind the wheel. I fear this is where my Gma is headed. I can't convince her to move here where I could take her to the store, mow her yard, and take care of her. Her neighbor who looked out for her is moving. With the cost of gas and having kids in school, etc it is hard to find a lot of time to go see her.
This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I don't want to be the bad guy. I am about ready to cry right now thinking about hwo frustrating it is for her and me. A lot of the people who told her they would help look out for her aren't doing it which it makes it even lonelier for her. Some phone calls are good, others she starts to cry as we hang up and I feel even more miserable about it all. I don't even know why I am typing this, I guess it just helps to type it out.

 

[Molly Meow]

This is one of my largest issues.

My grandmother's best friend's name is Vi Goegline. Well, one day Vi and my grandmother were going shopping. Vi was driving. She went to turn left and didn't see an 18-wheeler. In broad daylight. On a straight, flat, wide-open road.

This big rig T-boned the car. He couldn't help it - he couldn't stop in time. My grandmother almost died that day. They had to cut her out of the car with the jaws of life. She thought Vi had seen the big rig, and was very surprised when she turned in front of it. The doctors were surprised that my grandmother was still alive.

Vi is still licensed. This was 8 years ago - she's renewed by mail twice since then.

This SERIOUSLY burns me up. What if she runs over a child in a parking lot because "I didn't see her?!"

We're currently facing this issue with my DH's grandfather. I love him dearly, but the man is blind as a bat. He recently gave DH a car (v. nice of him). On the instrument panel, lines are drawn with white-out. They were drawn there to show him where 55 and 70 mph are (he needs to stay between those speeds), what side the door for the gas tank is on, and where empty is for the gas tank.

He still drives. I won't ride with him. Lord knows why DH's grandmother doesn't say anything to him. I wouldn't let DH drive if his sight got that bad.

 

[Martha7]

This is such a tough issue, because we don't want to take the person's independence away, but as long as the DMV isn't stepping up to adequately test seniors, the responsibility is left to the driver, who won't want to relinquish their car. I'm wondering if it'll take something drastic to change things. I can foresee a day when lawyers start to come after the relatives of the elderly driver who is still on the road and causes a crash. If that ever happens, you'll see a lot more of us feeling that we finally have not only the authority, but the obligation to take away that license for good. The way it stands right now, unless you're willing to move that senior in with you, it's very hard to put your foot down. I'm sure politicians don't want to ostracize seniors by pushing for more rigorous testing at the DMV. As I stated before, the AARP is very powerful! Thanks to all of you who are driving seniors around and keeping the streets safer for the rest of us!