ECV "guilt"-anyone else get it?

[Simba's Mom]

As some of you know, last week I used a scooter for the first time at WDW. Well, the first day I rented one, I actually called home and cried on the phone ("I had to rent an ECV today!") Part of it is probably because grew up in a household with a mother who looked down her nose at ECV users. After her first WDW visit, she said jokingly "Oh, next time I think I'll rent one of those cute little scooters everyone seems to drive!" Yet, when Mom was in a wheelchair due to a back injury, she refused to "Be seen in public" and didn't want to go anywhere. The thought of taking my DGDs to WDW, where they'd most likely see Grandma using an ECV now scares me. I just feel so guilty having to use one! Has anyone else encountered this feeling of guilt? And how do I get over it?

 

[minnie mum]

The only reason I can think of for anyone to feel guilty about using an ecv is if they don't need one. I don't know why you used an ecv last week, but I assume you did it for a valid reason. So why should you feel guilty? You aren't doing anything wrong. And why would you be scared of a family member seeing you on an ecv? Is there something (aside from your mother's archaic attitude) that makes you think that needing an ecv is somehow shameful? Do you look at other people with a handicap that way? Would you be ashamed or afraid to be seen in public with a loved one in a wheelchair or ecv?

Get over it. If one of your grandkids asks why you are on the ecv, answer them truthfully and explain that it lets you stay in the park all day with them, and that you couldn't do that without it. Kids are much more understanding and accepting than some adults i know.

ETA. I realize that what I said may seem harsh, but as someone who has had to use a wheelchair at WDW for about 20 years, the very idea of someone thinking that using one is something to feel guilty or ashamed of makes me feel quite upset.

 

[Minniesgal]

My mum struggle with movement for years. At about 55 she started to limp badly wi arthritis in both feet. Eventually probably because of the limping she damaged both her knees and needed a double knee replacement. Because she was over weight the Drs wouldn't consider her for surgery until she lost 3-5 stone at 69. So we have a good few years where she really couldn't walk far and the grandchildren really couldn't do stuff with her. I'm sure they would have rather she used an ECV than not go anywhere.

 

[jdb in AZ]

One "advantage" to getting older -- I no longer care what strangers think.

 

[DisneyOma]

OP, sounds like you were raised in a similar environment as I was - no one would talk about the "Big C", people with mental illness were 'crazy and had to be put away', and anyone using a wheelchair, crutches, or other mobility device was considered 'sick and maybe contagious' (polio). Luckily, this country has come a long way from the stigma and shame of a past generation. Well, maybe I don't mean shame, more like fear?

You've got only this one life to live - have a wonderful time at WDW with your family, use the ECV, and make great memories!

 

[Toffeewoffy]

I had the cartlige in my right knee repaired in October 2012, at which point the surgeon told me I had the beginnings of arthritis. I was mobile for our trip in February 2013 but went everywhere with the walking stick. I managed, but there were a lot of rows - and I mean a LOT!

When DD and I booked our girls-only trip for February 2014 I decided to bite the bullet and hire an ECV. I was in a lot of pain in my left knee from mid-December right through to mid-February due to the cold (we had a lot of cold weather in the UK that winter), and I seriously couldn't have managed without the scooter. I didn't for one minute feel guilty - just annoyed at the thoughtlessness of people who just didn't see me and would walk straight into me.

For our March 2015 trip I didn't even think about it - the scooter was booked months in advance. And I've got a scooter all ready for our forthcoming trip (9 days, yay!).

Why feel guilty about needing the help? As Minnie Mum says, think of it as something which enables you to spend the whole day at a park instead of just a few, painful hours lagging behind everyone else.

Incidentally, I just want to add that getting the scooter out of the car at MK on our first full day there this year I couldn't find my walking stick. It had been left behind in our hotel suite. So, I had no choice but to manage the best I could. The scooter bits were fine, but Pirates and Haunted Mansion require you to leave your scooter outside and walk in. Pirates was a trial because I didn't feel safe or secure without my 'third leg' and I did a lot of hanging onto the wall while we were in the queue. Leaving the stick behind was not something I ever did again!! Basically, it's because I have no integrity in my knee joints and while I can stand still in one spot, slopes are very difficult for me, and if I'm on a moving object (such as a train for my daily commute), I can't stand at all, even hanging onto something. My balance is just completely shot. I can't wear any sort of a heel at all anymore, for the same reason.

 

[Simba's Mom]

The only reason I can think of for anyone to feel guilty about using an ecv is if they don't need one. I don't know why you used an ecv last week, but I assume you did it for a valid reason. So why should you feel guilty? You aren't doing anything wrong. And why would you be scared of a family member seeing you on an ecv? Is there something (aside from your mother's archaic attitude) that makes you think that needing an ecv is somehow shameful? Do you look at other people with a handicap that way? Would you be ashamed or afraid to be seen in public with a loved one in a wheelchair or ecv?

Get over it. If one of your grandkids asks why you are on the ecv, answer them truthfully and explain that it lets you stay in the park all day with them, and that you couldn't do that without it. Kids are much more understanding and accepting than some adults i know.

ETA. I realize that what I said may seem harsh, but as someone who has had to use a wheelchair at WDW for about 20 years, the very idea of someone thinking that using one is something to feel guilty or ashamed of makes me feel quite upset.

Thanks, I needed what you said. Didn't take it harshly at all. I really do appreciate the wake-up call, and just wish I hadn't been exposed to my Mom's attitudes about it all these years.

 

[The Hunchback]

Thanks, I needed what you said. Didn't take it harshly at all. I really do appreciate the wake-up call, and just wish I hadn't been exposed to my Mom's attitudes about it all these years.

I have been a Disney visitor for 20 years. I could walk it at first. Then as time damaged my joints and curved my back, I had to start to rent ECV units. Now I just bought a used one to use when we are in FL for six months every year. I too had the guilt when I firs started using the ECV. Now I give thanks for it. It allows me to travel the parks and still function the following day. Switch the guilt to thankfulness that you can still move about with the ECV. If they had not been invented, we could no longer be enjoying Disney.

 

[CoriM48]

I don't use an ECV, but I just wanted to say as a young mother....I would much prefer my children see their grandma continuing to live life and make memories with them by being brave and trying new things instead of hiding away and refusing to do anything outside her comfort zone. Your willingness to roll with life's punches and not let it stop you from living life can be an inspiration to your grandkids.

 

[wilkeliza]

Fiance feels the same way. I don't think guilty is the right word though. He is downright embarrassed. I think it is because he is a person of size so he knows most people will think he would be using it because he is lazy but he actually has a painful condition that when it flares up makes it incredibly difficult to walk. Sometimes it comes out of no where and his medicine can take 2-3 days. Last time it happened the week before a vacation he was prepared to cancel the whole thing before he was ever seen in a wheelchair or ECV. He also tore a ligament slipping on ice about 2 months before a trip. Doctor said he needed to use a walking boat for 6 weeks and either a wheelchair or ECV while we were in Disney. Of course he refused to use the ECV or wheelchair so as soon as we got home he was back in the boot due to over use.

 

[I Love Pluto]

I have never felt guilty or embarrassed using my ECV!

My ECV allows me to participate in parades & play my bugle with my friends. WHY would anyone feel guilty about that?!?!?

My ECV allows me to walk with others and be a part of shopping, Disney vacations, field shows, walking my dog,& enjoying moving around rather than sit in one spot.

No - I do NOT feel guilty or ashamed. I just need to live my life. Thank you for understanding!

 

[Simba's Mom]

I don't use an ECV, but I just wanted to say as a young mother....I would much prefer my children see their grandma continuing to live life and make memories with them by being brave and trying new things instead of hiding away and refusing to do anything outside her comfort zone. Your willingness to roll with life's punches and not let it stop you from living life can be an inspiration to your grandkids.

Wow, thanks! I never thought of that.

 

[Julylady]

My Mom has used an ECV at Disney for the past 5 years after two knee replacements, one hip replacement, and another hip that needs to be replaced. It has improved the quality of her trips immensely. She is now 80 and prefers that we push her in a wheelchair as she finds it stressful navigating the ECV through the crowds. She also comes along with us to museums, on shopping trips, the zoo, and other places where wheelchairs are available.

She has a close friend who has struggled walking for the past 25 years. She says she is "too proud" to let anyone see her in either a wheelchair or an ECV. So, she rarely leaves her house. She has not attended graduation ceremonies, countless weddings, vacations, family reunions and more. I find her life to be really, really sad and feel bad for her grandkids who only see her if they visit her at her home. My Mom has talked to her about it several times over the years without success. I am so glad that my mom is not "too proud" to come along with us!

 

[mgentry210]

In my 30's and new to all the adaptive help. Will say we live in TX and have had an amazing show of support anytime I take (always!) something out. In the beginning I was pretty upset by the looks of pity at a youngish girl in a walker when they held open the door. Now I look up and smile and say thank you. They mean well and I wish them all well.

I do not use an ECV daily, but could not imagine Disney without it. That being said, the loving acts of kindness I get everywhere here stop at disney on the ECV. I'm not sure where the stereotypes start and stop, but dang it people are just plain mean. We don't have kids and never understood the practice of parents using their strollers as ramming rods at the end of the day, but I almost felt that way on my ECV at the end of a very busy halloween party (apparently it rained the night before on a Saturday!).

Reserving my opinion until our next trip but overwhelmingly yes, do it!

 

[Simba's Mom]

I the loving acts of kindness I get everywhere here stop at disney on the ECV. I'm not sure where the stereotypes start and stop, but dang it people are just plain mean.
Reserving my opinion until our next trip but overwhelmingly yes, do it!

I hope that on your next trip, you're met with kinder people. One positive thing was that everyone around me was so kind and helpful. As a solo, I was a little concerned about negotiating doors, for instance, and yet that wasn't any problem. Nice to hear the comments about fellow Texans though!

 

[mgentry210]

I hope that on your next trip, you're met with kinder people. One positive thing was that everyone around me was so kind and helpful. As a solo, I was a little concerned about negotiating doors, for instance, and yet that wasn't any problem. Nice to hear the comments about fellow Texans though!

Texans unite! Oh I hope this was a one off and just me being uptight on my first ECV trip. That being said, I've never seen a Halloween party on a Sunday that packed. In September! I can't believe you did it all on your own. So impressed! Anytime you want to meet up let me know. Love all of my DiS friends.

 

[Sunnywho]

You describe it as guilt but maybe it is shame. Guilt is over what you do, shame is over what you are. The grandkids love Grandma, disability or not. The scooter is an outward sign of the disability, and it's understandable to not want the disability to show, but as long as you work through your emotions over it, the grandkids will follow your lead.

 

[bopper]

Here are top 5 Reasons that people think they shouldn't get an ECV when they should.

I can't drive one. Go to your local Costco/Walmart/Target or other large store. They probably have an electric cart type thing that you could use while shopping. Try it out. I bet you can drive it.

People might think I don't really need it because I can walk. Are these people going to share the pain with you at the end of the day? Do you care what they think? Save your walking energy between rides and use it for lines or getting on the rides. Enjoy your family and your vacation.

It will slow my family down. No, actually it will speed your family up. No more rests because mom is tired. No more going back to the hotel because grandpa is in pain. No more cranky mommy because she tried to walk miles and miles in Disney instead of renting an ECV. You are completely mobile on your own (nobody pushing you in a wheelchair). What's the slow down here?

It's expensive. Um, how much are you spending on this vacation? Don't you want to enjoy it? If money is that tight, take a day off of your trip and spend that money on the ECV so you can enjoy it!

I don't want my kids/family to think I am disabled. You are either temporarily or permanently disabled in some way if you are even asking about this issue...once again, why not make it a better vacation by saving yourself from pain? Nobody is saying you have to confine yourself to a wheelchair permanently or you should not stop trying to get better. If somebody told you to go walk 4 miles, you would think they are crazy. But you are paying for the privilege when you go to Disney to do just that...why not use an ECV to make your family's vacation better?

Also read this:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=822281

 

[Simba's Mom]

You describe it as guilt but maybe it is shame. Guilt is over what you do, shame is over what you are. The grandkids love Grandma, disability or not. The scooter is an outward sign of the disability, and it's understandable to not want the disability to show, but as long as you work through your emotions over it, the grandkids will follow your lead.

Shame is definitely a much better description of it. Everyone's thoughts here have been so helpful!

 

[LEsherick]

Hi I'm going to Epcot for a day in little over a week. I'm renting a off site ECV and using it I nave Neuropathy and Fibro. So I'm only able to walk short distances and I know I'm way safer driving a ECV than trying to walk even with a cane as falls can happen so easly. I rented my first ECV in Salt Lake City this Sept and it saved me. I would have never been less stressed and in a lot of pain if I did not get the rental. So a few tips about driving them I thought I would share. They are very easy to drive and yes start off on the lowest setting to start. By the next day I was able to throttle to the highest speeds on long stretches but even if you have it on high you can slow down by not pressing on the throttle so hard. In a crowded space set it low and for the rest of time set it to medium then you can throttle back if needed. Unless you are in a hurry and have a long flat stretch or are going up hill or a long ramp then set it to high. But please watch out for any bump in the road or surface you are on. A crack in a sidewalk if going fast could really throw you off. You cannot go up or down curbs and cobblestone is unnerving. I got so many compliments on my steering I was able to reach far forward and press elevator buttons, electric door buttons, and open doors my self and drive through them. But people were very nice and helped with doors as well. Once you press a elevator or door button you need to back away and I usually line my self up straight to enter though the door and this help alot when elevator doors would open at your floor as it was easy to back right out. It takes some time to do really tight turns but it's possible just like parallel parking you just need to turn your wheels the opposite way and back up a tad then turn again the way you need to head and do on till you can make the turn. I learned the hard way that in the city thay had wheelchair access able light rail trains but the ramp up to the platform is very narrow and has a very tight turn and the same for some other wheelchair ramps which are designed for a wheelchair and not a long ECV. As far as worrying about hitting people it could possibly happen if you or they are not aware but the best thing in a crowd is to move slow and just say excuse me as much as possible. Don't use the horn it's not really polite unless in a emergency. Just follow behind slowly and lots of excuse me's and thank yous. Just be polite and most will be polite back to you.
One more safety warning is make sure your key is turned off and taken out and around your wrist before you get off because I forgot to turn mine off once just had got up to take a quick photo and when I went to get back on I had accidentally grabbed the throttle and the ECV started moving, I was able to jump out of the way and let go in the process but I could have ran over my foot and really injured me. Now I always take the key out and put it on my wrist before getting off

Epcot - November 15 2015