Early potty training and issues with #2

[princessmom29]

It is funny how the mommy wars are different in different groups. I know some Sahms who jump into to the potty race. It is beyond me why people need to use their child's potty habits as bragging material.

Probably for the same reason some people use not "buying in" to potty training early to say they are the superior parent. Everyone wants to be right.

 

[imthatgirl]

I don't know if that was a dig against preschool, but as a SAHM, all 5 of mine went to preschool, some of them for 3 years. I don't consider it daycare, especially when I sent kids when I still had kids with me full time all day. I think it's nice if you are financially able to give kids 5 or so hours a week in a playful environment, with other kids their age, while letting mom have some one-on-one time with the younger sibling/siblings.

I was just stating that since I was home I didn't need daycare and didn't need to worry about getting them trained by a certain time.
For us there was no need to get them into preschool so early. I enjoyed being the one to teach them those basics and bring them to play groups and such.

 

[imthatgirl]

Here at least, preschool is NOT daycre. There are two competely seperate things, although both are often offered in the same location. Preschool, is a structured school environment where children are learning letters, numbers, colors, and shapes in K3, and begin pre reading and reading skills in K4. Many children, my DD included, leave K4 reading simple books. Preschool is taught by certified teachers and designed to teach children how to function in a classroom environment before K and help them gain valuble social and academic skills before entering K.

Daycare is childcare, plain and simple. Children need to be potty trained to participate in preschool programs becuase they are NOT licensed childcare facilities, but schools. They don't carry the same liability nor are they subject to the same rules. Most preschools are NOT permitted to change diapers, per health department rules. If they have a special needs student in diapers, they must employ a trained aide to tend to his/her needs.

Since I was home I just did all that stuff at home. Like I said I was already home. So there was no need to worry about setting a date that they needed to be trained by. Whether they were going to daycare or preschool...whatever, it was unnecessary for us.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Probably for the same reason some people use not "buying in" to potty training early to say they are the superior parent. Everyone wants to be right.

Eh, io am being superior for thinking that the mommy wars are stupid I can live with that. I can also live with the idea that moms need to have their own lives rather than living their child's life.

 

[mjkacmom]

I was just stating that since I was home I didn't need daycare and didn't need to worry about getting them trained by a certain time.
For us there was no need to get them into preschool so early. I enjoyed being the one to teach them those basics and bring them to play groups and such.

But kids don't have to be in potty trained to get into daycare. My kids learned the early academics at home, and certainly knew their letters, numbers, shapes, colors, etc. when they started preschool. They also had a least one mommy and me class per week, and at least one playgroup each week. Throw in a swim class, trips to the parks and library, plus shopping and errands, and they were quite busy.

However, I find preschool enriches them even more. It's the first place that they pick their own friends! Most of our playgroups consisted of my friends, and their children. It was interesting to see what children my kids were drawn to, what children they asked to play with outside of school.

I believe that daycare is one of the reasons why kindergarten is the new first grade. I do believe it is very easy to teach academics at home. However, teaching children how one behaves in a school setting is very hard to teach outside the classroom, and teachers do expect that children had been to preschool or daycare.

 

[princessmom29]

Eh, io am being superior for thinking that the mommy wars are stupid I can live with that. I can also live with the idea that moms need to have their own lives rather than living their child's life.

For the record, I wasn't directing that at you, just saying that people on both sides of the debate can behave poorly and participate in what you are calling "mommy wars". Early potty trainers are not always tring to control or live thier child's life for them, but people who delay trainig or allow kids to "self train" aren't immune to bragging about it and throwing it in someone's face as proof that they are "not part of the mommy war" either which is really just as bad.

 

[princessmom29]

But kids don't have to be in potty trained to get into daycare. My kids learned the early academics at home, and certainly knew their letters, numbers, shapes, colors, etc. when they started preschool. They also had a least one mommy and me class per week, and at least one playgroup each week. Throw in a swim class, trips to the parks and library, plus shopping and errands, and they were quite busy.

However, I find preschool enriches them even more. It's the first place that they pick their own friends! Most of our playgroups consisted of my friends, and their children. It was interesting to see what children my kids were drawn to, what children they asked to play with outside of school.

I believe that daycare is one of the reasons why kindergarten is the new first grade. I do believe it is very easy to teach academics at home. However, teaching children how one behaves in a school setting is very hard to teach outside the classroom, and teachers do expect that children had been to preschool or daycare.

I think that you are right. There are some skills kids get in preschool that you just cannot replicate at home. Some kids are fine going into K without those skills and adapt just fine, but I have seen kids who were kept home until K have real problems as well.

 

[imthatgirl]

But kids don't have to be in potty trained to get into daycare. My kids learned the early academics at home, and certainly knew their letters, numbers, shapes, colors, etc. when they started preschool. They also had a least one mommy and me class per week, and at least one playgroup each week. Throw in a swim class, trips to the parks and library, plus shopping and errands, and they were quite busy.

However, I find preschool enriches them even more. It's the first place that they pick their own friends! Most of our playgroups consisted of my friends, and their children. It was interesting to see what children my kids were drawn to, what children they asked to play with outside of school.

I believe that daycare is one of the reasons why kindergarten is the new first grade. I do believe it is very easy to teach academics at home. However, teaching children how one behaves in a school setting is very hard to teach outside the classroom, and teachers do expect that children had been to preschool or daycare.

They don't? I don't know...like I said I have never used daycare. So I don't know whether they take older kids who aren't potty trained.

I used play groups that didn't just consist of my friends, I met a lot of people this way. So I guess I never worried about them only having friends that were my friends kids.
My kids went to preschool, so we didn't worry about then entering K without knowing how to behave in a classroom. But I have many friends who homeschooled their kids through K. I never saw a difference between those kids and kids who went to preK. Either you teach your kids to behave or you don't a school setting makes no difference.

 

[imthatgirl]

I think that you are right. There are some skills kids get in preschool that you just cannot replicate at home. Some kids are fine going into K without those skills and adapt just fine, but I have seen kids who were kept home until K have real problems as well.

Homeschooled kids do extremely well with their peers regardless of when they are integrated. Kids who are kept home and not schooled are not in the same category as kids who are.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Lol, you make a good point. Children learn to behave at home. The school system shouldn't have to teach them.

And yes, I know that teachers do often need to much to the irritation of the teachers in my family.

 

[princessmom29]

Homeschooled kids do extremely well with their peers regardless of when they are integrated. Kids who are kept home and not schooled are not in the same category as kids who are.

Not always. I have seen both homeschool children who do well and some who definitely do NOT. Just like kids who go to school. Some are just more social than others. Just because a child is homeschooled doesn't mean that will do well socially, but neither does it mean they will do poorly. I don't think one group necessairly does better than the other, or that one group is superior.

I agree that orgainized preschool is not important if you plan to homeschool, but for a child going into an organized school setting I think it is a good idea, if for nothing more than teaching them classroom practices and procedures. They do learn to "behave" at home, but they don't learn how to function in a clasroom sewtting at home. Some kids do fine adapting to that when they hit K, and some need preschool. It truly is a different setting with a different set of expectations,and even the most well behaved child has to learn what those new expectations are and how to function in that setting.

 

[imthatgirl]

Not always. I have seen both homeschool children who do well and some who definitely do NOT. Just like kids who go to school. Some are just more social than others. Just because a child is homeschooled doesn't mean that will do well socially, but neither does it mean they will do poorly. I don't think one group necessairly does better than the other, or that one group is superior.

I agree that orgainized preschool is not important if you plan to homeschool, but for a child going into an organized school setting I think it is a good idea, if for nothing more than teaching them classroom practices and procedures. They do learn to "behave" at home, but they don't learn how to function in a clasroom sewtting at home. Some kids do fine adapting to that when they hit K, and some need preschool. It truly is a different setting with a different set of expectations,and even the most well behaved child has to learn what those new expectations are and how to function in that setting.

I don't think I said either did better either. Both are options, that yield the same result.

 

[tmarquez]

DD was early too. The way we did it...was like you train a puppy. Learn when she generally needs to go...and be proactive... take her to sit on the potty. Then big reward or make a big deal out of it. It didn't take long at all and it wasn't a matter of control...just her "getting it".

Oh and the daycare she went to, you had to be 2.5 to start and completely potty trained...so I'm sure there are lots of places out there where the kids do have to be potty trained.

 

[princessmom29]

DD was early too. The way we did it...was like you train a puppy. Learn when she generally needs to go...and be proactive... take her to sit on the potty. Then big reward or make a big deal out of it. It didn't take long at all and it wasn't a matter of control...just her "getting it".

Oh and the daycare she went to, you had to be 2.5 to start and completely potty trained...so I'm sure there are lots of places out there where the kids do have to be potty trained.

Wow, I have never heard of a daycare not accepting infants. Most here start at 8 weeks, and have no "must be trained by x" rules, but the child must be trained to start perschool, and there are many preschools that are not daycares and don't take non-potty trained kids or kids under 3.

 

[jp'smommy]

DD had a breakthrough today! She went #2 on the potty all by herself! Her BM's are not regular so I can't get her to the potty on time. Plus I don't like the idea of having a child sit for 5 minutes while they try to go. I think it creates more pressure and can make potty training less about them and more about training mom.
I sure hope DD goes #2 on the potty again tomorrow! But if not, thats ok, eventually she will get it!

That is wonderful! I am not sure how this simple question ended up like it has, but there has been some good ideas. My DS also did great yesterday and has done good today going #1 and still going #2. It doesn't matter how old they if they start telling you they need to go then they need to go!

 

[pwfaith]

Not always. I have seen both homeschool children who do well and some who definitely do NOT. Just like kids who go to school. Some are just more social than others. Just because a child is homeschooled doesn't mean that will do well socially, but neither does it mean they will do poorly. I don't think one group necessairly does better than the other, or that one group is superior.

I agree that orgainized preschool is not important if you plan to homeschool, but for a child going into an organized school setting I think it is a good idea, if for nothing more than teaching them classroom practices and procedures. They do learn to "behave" at home, but they don't learn how to function in a clasroom sewtting at home. Some kids do fine adapting to that when they hit K, and some need preschool. It truly is a different setting with a different set of expectations,and even the most well behaved child has to learn what those new expectations are and how to function in that setting.

I think it also depends on the child and what else they have been exposed to. With our first 2 I do think preschool was important for them. Our third only went for one year of preschool and I think it was probably more important for us than him lol (he has a nut allergy and we were a bit about him in a school setting and how it would all work) our 4th has not attended preschool at all. My mom pushed it for a bit, talking about how she needed "socialization". In a family of 7, having attended MOPS, wednesday night childcare and Sunday school (all "organized activities" where they have specified times of doing things like story time, craft time, snack time, circle time, dance, music, etc) - I hardly thing socialization is going to be an issue for her lol We did "school" at home a bit over the year, about 20 min a day, give or take. After going to Kindergarten orientation a few weeks ago and seeing her in VBS last week, I have no doubt she's beyond ready and will do great. She is much like her older sisters and brother though, quiet at first until she gets use to you and then talks you to death but also likes rules and is good at obeying them and understanding appropriate settings for behaviors. Our 5th is only 3, but she will likely not go to preschool until 4, if we can afford it. I plan to do "school" with her at home this year as well and she will continue to attend MOPS and other activities like her sisters did.

I would LOVE for all of my kids to have attended preschool. I LOVED preschool! I still remember many of the things I did as a child myself. It's not always possible though. I think how well the child does without it depends greatly on the child and the parent and how they handle things at home otherwise.

I had 2 good friends in college, both homeschooled and both as different as night and day. One was extremely outgoing and the other extremely withdrawn. Both had vastly different experiences with their homeschooling too, family dynamics and personalities.

 

[momtocjksj]

One because I only have one and there are not outside influences. Why are you comparing children to dogs. You should do a little research and look at how and when other countries potty train. It might surprise you. It's us not them. CHILDREN ARE SMART! Sometimes though, we can hinder them by our own inactivity.

Love this! I have been taking some child development courses and they show the huge differences between the US society and others, including those that are advanced and technologically savvy like ours. Another place I've been sharing with my preggo friends is the website PottyTrainingEarly.com -- it's full of good information including great responses to those people who don't agree with you and your choice!

 

[GinnyEmma]

Lol, gee, they do offer some fun classes at the community college.

You all are training your kids like dogs. Thus it was an apt example. "Here, Ella, you can have a treat if you pee in the potty!" then mommy can win a prize in the mommy wars. Mommy has to live through the child. It is easier than achieving something themselves! My kids chose to toilet like the older people in their lives. Just like talking and walking. Maybe you could check the catalog for some anthropology courses!

 

[supersuperwendy]

I think we are about to start potty training here. Our baby is 19 months old and is now telling us every time she goes "pee pee" or "poopy". I haven't potty trained a girl since 2002! I hope it all comes back to me quickly!

 

[princessmom29]

Lol, gee, they do offer some fun classes at the community college.

You all are training your kids like dogs. Thus it was an apt example. "Here, Ella, you can have a treat if you pee in the potty!" then mommy can win a prize in the mommy wars. Mommy has to live through the child. It is easier than achieving something themselves! My kids chose to toilet like the older people in their lives. Just like talking and walking. Maybe you could check the catalog for some anthropology courses!

Sorry, but no, at least not for me. I potty trained DD because she was ready, not because I wanted to one up some other mommy. That is just plain silly, and the accusations you are throwing around sound an afwul lot like you need to make others look bad to justify your choices. I cannot make that determination form a message board, but thatr is how it is coming across here. Typically, if you need to put others down to that extreme, it isn't about them at all. I don't see how early potty training means that a parent is using thier child as a proxy for thier own achievment, or how you can make that determination from a message board post or 2. If they are part of some sort of mommy contest that automatically makes YOU right. I don't need to be right. I just need to do what is best for my child. The fact reamains that in many countries where food and shelter are much more important that one upping the mommy in the next hut, kids are potty trained by 2. I don't see why we cannot do the same without be accused of living through our kids?