Drinking while pregnant--- child abuse?

[JennyMominRI]

I find this thread a bit ironic as it is running parallel to a thread about abortion. The concensus seems to be that we don't have a problem with killing the unborn, just don't expose them to alcohol or nicotine.

We really are warped as a society!

I'll tell you where I see the difference.. In the case of the woman drinking/smoking during pregnancy, I can assume we are talking about a woman who plans to have a baby..If so smoking or drinking can harm what WILL be a baby..
I never ever drank or smoked while pregnant and it really bothers me to see people do so.. Not the occasional glass of wine really, but the 6 month pregnant woman with a bear in one hand and a cigarette in the other

 

[poohandwendy]

Ok, am I gonna be the only one to admit that drinking actually caused my pregnancy (at least one of them)?

Or am I alone on a raft here?

 

[Barbossa]

My Mom smoked every day while she was pregnant with me. I turned out fine, and had a wonderful and loving family upbringing. Anyone who said, to my face, that my Mom was a child abuser would be kissing linoleum in 2 seconds flat.

This is not an endorsement of smoking or drinking while pregnant. DW avoided practically everything except food while pregnant with our two kids. You gotta wonder, though. Despite all of the pregnancy paranoia these days, rates of autism, allergies etc. are on the rise. You can't convince me that my parents' times (i.e. 60's) were the "bad 'ol days". Our world has a plethora of problems of its own.

 

[Pigeon]

My mom had six kids, smoked like Pittsburgh throughout all her pregnancies, and had a martini every night of her life. We're all college educated and then some.

I don't advocate smoking or drinking during pregancy, but having a drink a couple of times a week is hardly child abuse.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Ok, am I gonna be the only one to admit that drinking actually caused my pregnancy (at least one of them)?

Or am I alone on a raft here?

 

[DawnCt1]

I think its a difficult question to answer because no one really knows how much alcohol will affect a particular fetus at a particular stage of development. I know of a little girl who was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome almost 20 years ago around the time DS#4 was born. He is now a young man. She will always be a "little girl". The damage wasn't malicious, intended or deliberate but the effects are devastating. I honestly don't know what the answer is.

 

[lemondog]

I have a child adopted from Russia, where Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a prevalent and severe problem, so I have done a LOT of research in this area.

First off, drinking while pregnant is not considered child abuse by the law, so I don't think there is much you can do about it legally. And I am not talking about the occasional glass of wine. In my personal opinion, however, drinking 2-3 times per week while pregnant IS abusive. Calling the authorities won't do a bit of good, however. That's the truly sad thing.

The fact is, drinking moderately to heavily while pregnant is FAR worse than smoking or doing drugs. Alcohol can cause permanent and irreversible brain damage to the fetus. No one really knows how much is too much, which is why most doctors will tell you not to drink at all. It can also depend WHEN in the baby's development you drink. FAS is truly a spectrum disorder, depending on how much was consumed, at what time during the pregnancy. That's why the "new" term is actually ARND - alcohol related neurological defects.

I have to agree with the above poster who said drinking while pg is selfish. Why even risk it? You don't HAVE to have that glass of wine. Yes, chances are one glass won't make a difference, but then again...maybe it will. It's just a chance I am not/was not willing to take. JMHO.

 

[HelenePA]

I'm so sorry about your son, her defect was/is but corrected double outlet right ventricle, VSD, ASD, AV Canal, pulmonary stenosis. there might be more that I dont actually remember too I do know with HLHS they've made great strides! There is now a 3 operation procedure that gives those children lives they wouldn't have had many years ago like your son I'm very sorry for your loss, I think about loosing my little one often when I hear stories like yours.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

I'll tell you where I see the difference.. In the case of the woman drinking/smoking during pregnancy, I can assume we are talking about a woman who plans to have a baby..If so smoking or drinking can harm what WILL be a baby..
I never ever drank or smoked while pregnant and it really bothers me to see people do so.. Not the occasional glass of wine really, but the 6 month pregnant woman with a bear in one hand and a cigarette in the other

I for one am glad my mom was a drinker and not one who considered abortion.

 

[rie'smom]

Those of us who are in their 40's and 50's or even older are normal healthy adults and I'd bet dollars to donuts that many of our moms drank and smoked while pregnant. Do I advocate this? No, but lighten up folks. Judging others and stressing out over it probably causes more harm to a developing fetus than the occasional cocktail.
BTW, I never drank or smoked while pg, but that was my choice. The fact that I threw up for 9 months probably had something to do with it.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Ok, am I gonna be the only one to admit that drinking actually caused my pregnancy (at least one of them)?

Or am I alone on a raft here?

I think ALL of my pregnancies were alcohol related.....

After I was good and knocked up ....I didn't touch a drop. I wanted perfect babies and didn't want to worry that I might have caused otherwise. I wouldn't bat an eye at someone having a glass of wine at7 months pregnant or beyond, b/c everything is formed and FAS is slim to none at that point.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Ok, am I gonna be the only one to admit that drinking actually caused my pregnancy (at least one of them)?

Or am I alone on a raft here?

In the immortal words of Michael Jackson:

You are not alone. I am here with you.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I for one am glad my mom was a drinker and not one who considered abortion.

My mother got pregnant with me at 39 and She had just married my father, who turned out to have a drinking problem..A lot of people encouraged her to abort, and that was when it was illegal..Am i glad I was born? Yes.. On the other hand I don't believe that *I* existed as I do now, as I don't believe the soul is there from conception...I believe my soul would have been born eventually anyway.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think ALL of my pregnancies were alcohol related.....

After I was good and knocked up ....I didn't touch a drop. I wanted perfect babies and didn't want to worry that I might have caused otherwise. I wouldn't bat an eye at someone having a glass of wine at7 months pregnant or beyond, b/c everything is formed and FAS is slim to none at that point.

LOL, I never really wanted to drink when I was pregnant and wouldn't have anyways, for the same reason.

But, am I crazy or didn't they actually used to suggest alcohol to prevent preterm labor, back in the day?

I will say, I ate lunchmeat, I took OTC pain relievers, consumed caffeine and forgot my prenatal vitamins more often than not, didn't ever think about folic acid and never really checked labels for red dye or anything else. (there are so many things they warn pregnant women about now that were never mentioned when I was having babies)

In the immortal words of Michael Jackson:

You are not alone. I am here with you.

Why am I not surprised?

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

Yes, it is child abuse IMHO. Anyone ever heard of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

 

[Cool-Beans]

Yes, it is child abuse IMHO. Anyone ever heard of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

No, I don't believe anyone has ever heard of that.

 

[Hannathy]

But, am I crazy or didn't they actually used to suggest alcohol to prevent preterm labor, back in the day?

Yes they did! My friend's DR told her to go home put her feet up have a glass or two of wine and relax, when she started to bleed and have mild contractions.

It worked said child is in Law school right now.

 

[DISUNC]

Ok, am I gonna be the only one to admit that drinking actually caused my pregnancy (at least one of them)?

Or am I alone on a raft here?

Between me, my siblings & 27 cousins We figured out if our parents NEVER drank....None of us would be here!

Back to the Topic at hand..... There is quite alot of us 30-50 year olds here whose Mom's drank (moderately) & smoked throughout their pregancies, then went to the hospital got knocked on conscience, we were born..then they woke Mom up to tell her. Many of us are doing good.

From reading the Disboards, I would swear that more healthy kids were born years ago than today!

 

[Aidensmom]

I had a glass of wine at my wedding reception, and yeah, I was pregnant. It was with my doctor's blessing. I was on bedrest at the time, and I had gotten permission to even ATTEND my wedding, and the doctor said it might help to keep me relaxed and not worried about my condition, as the anxiety could be more likely to cause problems than the glass of wine.

I also did some other things some people think is terrible, like eat peanuts and peanut butter. People may find that selfish, but in reality my child was at less risk from me eating those foods than if I didn't as I was eating them for calorie purposes (one of the few high calorie foods I was allowed as I had gestational diabetes), and I had extreme difficultly not only putting on weight, but not losing weight.

 

[DisneyFreak72]

I'm surprised and sad by this thread.

They say addiction is when you know better, but do it anyway.

When our moms were pregnant, there was a lot they didn't know. Today, we know that prenatal exposure to alcohol is the leading cause of birth defects and mental retardation and learning disabilities. We know that smoking while pregnant doubles the risk of SIDS, leads to low birthweight, and compromises the development of the respiratory system.

Anyone who can't give up a glass of wine or a beer or a cigarette for the good of their child despite knowing these risks..... well, it is really sad and suggests these same people aren't ready for the sacrifices necessary to be parents.

And, when it comes to beer and wine--- if you need it to relax even when you know it could cause lifelong damage to your unborn baby, that is called--- ALCOHOLISM.....

I'm so sad to read that most people seem to think drinking during pregnancy is okay. We clearly have a long way to go in our public health messaging, since science has demonstrated that there is NO safe amount of alcohol to drink while pregnant.