Dressing up

[Texascyclone]

So now that it is cooler would it be to unreasonable to ask daughter to wear a nice dress tights and dress shoes for nice dinners

 

[HelsBels16]

I love dressing up for dinner - personally I think it would be nice to see slightly more of a dress code (basically not hats / park wear) in the higher end signature restaurants.

 

[BadPinkTink]

So now that it is cooler would it be to unreasonable to ask daughter to wear a nice dress tights and dress shoes for nice dinners

To be honest, yes its unreasonable.

How old is your daughter, what style of clothes does she normally wear, nice dinners where?

Your daughter is not a dress up doll for you. She is her own person, with her own style and clothes she feels comfortable in.

Just cos you dont like what she wears, does not mean that what she wears is wrong.

 

[Christine]

Depends what nice dinners you are talking? Victoria & Alberts? Yes. Citricos or some other signature restaurant? She may end up being overdressed but, subjectively, it depends on what you mean by dress tights and dress shoes.

Overall (and I always do fine dining at the Disney), most people don't have the ability to pack both "park" attired and "dressy" attire and generally just try to spruce up some casual clothing with a collared shirt for men and removal of Teva's and sneakers for women.

 

[Summer2018]

So now that it is cooler would it be to unreasonable to ask daughter to wear a nice dress tights and dress shoes for nice dinners

It depends on her age and the restaurants.

We love to dress up at signature restaurants. Tights might be a bit much, but if she is a “little” I see no problem. If she is over 5, dressy sandals might be just as fancy and more comfortable. DD22 and I wear dressy jumpsuits and dresses with dressy sandals or embellished flip flops.

The thought of tights or pantyhose in Florida makes me want to jump in a pool.

 

[Texascyclone]

To be honest, yes its unreasonable.

How old is your daughter, what style of clothes does she normally wear, nice dinners where?

Your daughter is not a dress up doll for you. She is her own person, with her own style and clothes she feels comfortable in.

Just cos you dont like what she wears, does not mean that what she wears is wrong.

She is 9 and I only meant like 2 dinners. Nice dress one and a half inch heel and tights.

 

[cobright]

There's a spectrum of attire that's appropriate for any venue and where heat pushes you towards the more casual end of that range, I think it's fine to push it back up more towards more formal end when the weather moderates.

The pseudo-rule i drag out is cloth table napkins. If they set a table in proper cloth then we aim to be maybe the 15th to 10th best dressed table there. Sort of a very subjective and flexible 'better than most, worst than some' target

 

[igrsod]

If she likes to wear such things then I see no problem... BUT, if she isn't comfortable wearing such things, work for a compromise.
I had to do that with my son when we went to signature restaurants at Disney. He wasn't as dressy as I would have "wanted", but he was not underdressed and clean. Compromise.
I've had to learn to do that so much with my kids.

 

[Allison]

To be honest, yes its unreasonable.

How old is your daughter, what style of clothes does she normally wear, nice dinners where?

Your daughter is not a dress up doll for you. She is her own person, with her own style and clothes she feels comfortable in.

Just cos you dont like what she wears, does not mean that what she wears is wrong.

Did information get deleted or are you making assumptions?

 

[SteveH]

I'd say tell her in advance you are going to a nice restaurant and ask her to pick out two nice outfits. See what she picks and help her understand the restaurant you are going to, it's not like she's 18. At 9 our boys would have needed a lot of help. If she has attitude, well you can always tell her she won't be going and you'd get a babysitter. I'm all for independence, but you are 100% the parent, you can help her to make good choices, but there are consequences in life too.

 

[BadPinkTink]

She is 9 and I only meant like 2 dinners. Nice dress one and a half inch heel and tights.

If she likes to wear such things then I see no problem... BUT, if she isn't comfortable wearing such things, work for a compromise.
I had to do that with my son when we went to signature restaurants at Disney. He wasn't as dressy as I would have "wanted", but he was not underdressed and clean. Compromise.
I've had to learn to do that so much with my kids.

exactly, if thats clothes and style she normally wears, then , thats fine. However, if she never wears a dress or smart shoes and dresses more causally and only wears converse shoes, then yes it is unreasonable for you to make her wear clothes that she is not comfortable in ,again she is 9, not a dress up doll for you.

At aged 9, as long as the clothes are clean and the clothes are age appropriate, then the childs comfort and self confidence and self worth are more important than being a dress up doll for a mom who wants to show off.

 

[Mome Rath]

So now that it is cooler would it be to unreasonable to ask daughter to wear a nice dress tights and dress shoes for nice dinners

It depends; how much walking is she expected to do in the dress shoes? I see people trying to wear dress shoes in the parks and it boggles my mind.

It sounds like your daughter wouldn't normally pick to wear that type of thing, or else you wouldn't be asking the question. What I say to weigh is; this is presumably a vacation, and vacations are usually seen as a time to relax and have fun with family. If you are going somewhere with a dress code, then of course everyone in the party should abide by it. If this is going to cause a dust up with your child in the middle of vacation, that needs to be part of the decision.

I do agree with others in the thread, and I think parents do need to be be parents, but with love and common sense; give her a range of choices (different outfits, and some shoes that include some that are not heels, but still acceptable) and let her choose from amongst those things, she's the right age to do that, and that is authoritative instead of authoritarian parenting.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

Dressing up for dinner is good practice for other occasions, however, I would forego the tights/stockings/pantyhose.... TOO HOT and you will have a wiggly, itchy, prone to complain kid, and that won't make anyone enjoy the meal.

 

[Summer2018]

Look, even at my vow renewal ceremony at WDW when I was wearing a chiffon gown, I didn’t wear pantyhose and heals. I had bejeweled sandals on. Nobody at the vow renewal wore pantyhose or tights and it was a semi-formal event.

 

[EsseG]

Age 9 is when my daughter's independent nature blossomed and I decided imposing my will on her clothing choices would be no-win for both of us. Show her pictures of the venue and let her decide.

 

[marikujawa]

OP, I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask your daughter to dress nicely. You know her best, and it's your prerogative as her parent. I'm less sure of the usefulness of asking people here to weigh in. "Dressing up" and parenting are the two areas where people are most likely to project their personal issues onto even the most innocent question. Combining them . . .

 

[DuskKodesh]

At 9 I think it would be her choice. You could guide her but tights and heels in Disney seems a bit much. Heels hurt. In the foot department you're gonna be walking a LOT. Maybe not to get to this restaurant but in the parks in general. Feet are gonna be sore already and comfort should be first priority as you can't do much with blistered feet.

 

[OKW Lover]

Getting dressed up for dinner is a personal decision. None of us can make that for the OP...or the daughter. I'd just observe that at WDW most of the people dining in Signature restaurants don't bother getting dressed up. Obviously V&A is an exception.

 

[shmom]

A Lilly dress and some ballet flats would be about the most dressed up I would make a 9 year old. I can't even fathom tights and 1 1/2 inch heels in Florida on a 9 year old (or heels on a child anywhere for that matter)

 

[Nancyg56]

Tights and heels, even 1/2 inch heels, are not fun in WDW. My DGD wore a casual dress and sandals to dinner are CG and Narcoossees, but we left the decision to her. At 9 I would ask expect my DD to consider what I wanted, and if a comfortable dress worked that would be fine, but I would never even think about heels and tights.