Downsizing the family home

[NYCgrrl]

I moved from a “classic 6” to a larger than normal by NYC standards studio. Had a lot of items to downsize but it happened at the right time in my life. I became tired of caring, storing and maintaining stuff.
Now, I’ve enough space to live comfortably and a view to enjoy; works.

 

[bluezy]

We haven't done it yet, but plan to in the next 10 years or so. DH is thinking he'll retire in the next 2 years (at age 57), but hasn't definitely decided yet -- it will depend on how happy he is at his job. He originally planned to retire at 55 but is still enjoying his job, so not ready to take that leap. We have a 4200+ sq. ft. house (6 bedrooms, 4 full baths) and it's a lot to take care of. We also have 4 acres of land -- 3.5 of those acres is the yard that needs to be mowed and lots of landscaping that needs to be weeded. Four of our five kids are completely out on their own (and all but one of them live within 30 minutes of here) and the fifth one is a junior in college. We do not need this big of a house for the 2 of us. We do have the ability to live on one floor, so that's the only reason we'll be able to stay here for 10+ more years potentially. Honestly, if it was up to me, we'd be downsizing in 4 or 5 years. We did add a 400 sq. ft. room on the house a few years ago to be able to have all the kids and their families over at the house and all be in the same room together for a meal, so I guess we should try to get our money's worth out of that. While there will be a little sadness on my part to leave this house (we built it), I could emotionally do it now. DH has a much stronger attachment to it and the stuff in it.

Ideally, when we downsize, I'd like to move to a retirement community where we can start out living in a 3-bedroom 2200-2500 sq. ft. house/cottage and then move to an apartment when/if we need to downsize more in the future or even move to various levels of nursing care if/when needed while staying in the same "community". Wherever we end up, we definitely want 3 bedrooms because we want to have a office/hobby room and a separate guest room.

As others have mentioned, we do not want our kids to have to deal with emptying and selling this house when we're gone -- or even having to take care of the house and the lawn for the months/years while going through that cleaning out/selling process. We're in the process of doing that with DH's parent's house right now and it has been a loooonnnggg, tedious, and stressful process. Our kids already have busy home/work/family lives, they don't need to spend months cleaning out our house and getting it on the market. IMO, it's our responsibility to take care of downsizing our house/belongings early enough in life so they have a much smaller job to do once we're gone.

 

[neverlandsky]

Currently in 1192 sq ft 3bed/2bath apartment with 4 adults. It’s tight and we’re minimalists.

Our sweet spot is 1500-1700 sq ft 3bed/2bath one story with no HOA fees. They are very hard to find in our current area. Looking to relocate in the next year or 2 to achieve that goal.

 

[DCL58]

Still living in our 4000+ square foot house where we raised our kids. We will move in a couple years, but not downsizing. Will buy the same size or larger house plus a lake house so our kids and their families have a place to gather.

Not interested in a small space until we have to. DH’s parents moved from their large home to a tiny retirement condo and they are miserable. My parents still maintain 2 homes - one with 150 acres and they are 82 and 77.

 

[jimmymc]

My parents have technically downsized, even though their new house is still pretty big. It was more about moving locations while still having an office for my dad and space for the cousins to visit. Moving from New Jersey to North Carolina, they like the weather and being closer to family (3 hours vs 9 hours in the car).

 

[CdnCarrie]

Still living in our 4000+ square foot house where we raised our kids. We will move in a couple years, but not downsizing. Will buy the same size or larger house plus a lake house so our kids and their families have a place to gather.

Not interested in a small space until we have to. DH’s parents moved from their large home to a tiny retirement condo and they are miserable. My parents still maintain 2 homes - one with 150 acres and they are 82 and 77.

Wow that's a huge house. Not sure there are many 4000+ sq foot homes in my city. Average size would be 1200-1800 here.
Maybe a few of the NHL players own a 4000+ sq foot home.

I'm not worried about having a place for our kids to gather - that can transition to the next generation.

 

[DCL58]

Wow that's a huge house. Not sure there are many 4000+ sq foot homes in my city. Average size would be 1200-1800 here.
Maybe a few of the NHL players own a 4000+ sq foot home.

I'm not worried about having a place for our kids to gather - that can transition to the next generation.

You should come to atlanta. Our house is small in comparison to most of the houses around us.

 

[Meriweather]

Wow that's a huge house. Not sure there are many 4000+ sq foot homes in my city. Average size would be 1200-1800 here.

Ours is 3500......DS's is almost 5000.
Not uncommon here

 

[CdnCarrie]

You should come to atlanta. Our house is small in comparison to most of the houses around us.

Ours is 3500......DS's is almost 5000.
Not uncommon here

Extremely uncommon here. Just did a search of the real estate listings of the 1027 houses up for sale in our city of 850,00 population only 160 homes were over 2000 square feet.

Guess you folks are just super richy rich!

 

[Cadiewampus]

We have not downsized and do not plan to. We signed a TOD deed so that our daughter will automatically own the house when we pass on and will not have to go through probate.

Is your daughter an only child? I thought about doing a TOD on ours. Our sons get along great but in the back of my mind one is going to resent the other and squabble about what to do with the house

 

[barkley]

You should come to atlanta. Our house is small in comparison to most of the houses around us.

what are the average lot sizes those houses are on?

 

[DCL58]

what are the average lot sizes those houses are on?

Our neighborhood of 250 houses was built in the 90’s. All have 1/2 acre lots.

Oldest son bought a 1950’s house in metro atlanta (inside perimeter). People are buying houses on his street for $600-$700K, tearing them down and building huge mansions on the lots. Lots are larger - probably 3/4 acre. Some lots are being turned into 3 new homes by developers at $1M or more each.

Younger son bought a townhome. He loves not having a yard to take care of and everything being new! He has a tiny fenced front yard and loves it.

 

[NannyBeBe]

Is your daughter an only child? I thought about doing a TOD on ours. Our sons get along great but in the back of my mind one is going to resent the other and squabble about what to do with the house

She is not an only child. I have two houses and she has a TOD on both. I totally trust her to do what is best with the homes. Her sister totally agrees with our decision. If you are hesitant to do a TOD deed, you can devise the home to your son via your Will. That would probably require a probate, which we want to avoid. We have also added our daughter's name to all of our bank accounts and on our safe deposit boxes. We do have Wills but there should be no requirement for a probate proceeding, which we want to avoid because things can be tied up for months.

 

[bluezy]

Wow that's a huge house. Not sure there are many 4000+ sq foot homes in my city. Average size would be 1200-1800 here.
Maybe a few of the NHL players own a 4000+ sq foot home.

I'm not worried about having a place for our kids to gather - that can transition to the next generation.

That's how I feel as well. Our oldest son and his wife have a bigger house than ours that is designed for entertaining -- and they love to host family gatherings. I haven't hosted a holiday meal at our house in over 10 years and I'm ok with that. I'm hoping that even if we downsize to a 2200 sq. ft. house we'll still have a large enough living space to have the kids and their families over for pizza or to just hang out.

Our 4,000 sq. ft house is on the larger size for our area, but not the largest in the area by any stretch of the imagination. It's smaller than what most of our friends have and it's smaller than our oldest son's house.

 

[CdnCarrie]

That's how I feel as well. Our oldest son and his wife have a bigger house than ours that is designed for entertaining -- and they love to host family gatherings. I haven't hosted a holiday meal at our house in over 10 years and I'm ok with that. I'm hoping that even if we downsize to a 2200 sq. ft. house we'll still have a large enough living space to have the kids and their families over for pizza or to just hang out.

Our 4,000 sq. ft house is on the larger size for our area, but not the largest in the area by any stretch of the imagination. It's smaller than what most of our friends have and it's smaller than our oldest son's house.

Wow what does your son do that he can’t afford a mansion? A house that big here would be a few million dollars

 

[jennab]

I’d love to downsize as I feel our house is too big for the 3 of us and a pain to keep up with on cleaning, but the cost of homes and interest rates are way too high right now. I’d likely end up paying more than I am now.