Doreen's Fresh Start & Success Story! (Welcome Friends!)

[lulu201]

Hee, hee! I love it when we're posting to our journals at the same time!

Doreen, it was great seeing you yesterday. Check out my journal for a detailed food report from yesterday. I was thinking--someday soon, we should get together for a Valley Forge training walk followed by a relaxing Bahamian lunch on the B. Breeze veranda. Think about it. . .

You are some Jock Athlete , girl, and you are going to be seriously prepared for your fall event (I like saying "fall event," it sounds so jockish ). You've had a winter event, a spring event, and now fall. . .I'm tellin' ya, you're the long distance athlete I've always wanted to be! You go, Doreen, you go!

Have a good Monday.

,
Erin

 

[septbride2002]

You are doing so fantastic! I was thinking of you while I plowed through my almost 4 miles

~Amanda

 

[toystoryduo]

You are doing great Doe!!! Keep on easin' down that road!!!!

 

[lulu201]

Happy Tuesday, WISH-sis! So you're easin' on down that road, are you? GOOD FOR YOU! Keep it up for another day, OK?

What's your weather like? Ours is kind of dreary. Not conducive to walking outside at all. What about you? Do you still have your health club membership? Can you go walk on the treadie if it's yukky outside? I know I have no excuse not to get my walk in--if I blow the dust off MY treadie I can knock off those miles. . .rather than think about if I WANT to do it, I've just got to shut up and DO it.

How was the concert last night? Are your eyes open this morning? Tell us all about it! Wish I hadn't felt so duty ridden to my students. . .I was seriously considering cancelling the lot of the them and running off to have fun at Hershey. Guess the grown up in me won out. Go figure.

Let me know your schedule. We'll try to coordinate something. . .

to you and for your day. Thanks for being such a good friend.
Erin

 

[lillygator]

Hi Doreen! Hershey Park sounds like fun - I have never been there before....
Hope you have a great day today!

 

[septbride2002]

Can I just say "ditto" to everything Erin posted?

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

Sure wish we had a yawning smilie.

After work yesterday, DH and I took DS and a friend to Hershey and dropped them off so they could see Kelly Clarkson in concert. We went home, had dinner and later went to pick them up. They said the opening band (Graham Colton Band???) was not that great but Kelly sounded great. They were both happy. Of course that means I didn't get to bed until late.

I tried to wake up for work this AM but just couldn't. I had another one of my crashes, so I went back to bed. I just got up. I've got several things in the back of my mind causing me anxiety and it's catching up to me. Today I'll be taking extra naps and working to curb that anxiety where I can.

I was supposed to do 2 miles yesterday. It's the first training session I didn't do. I've had some serious muscle pain and tightness so I made a decision to skip yesterday. Today is a rest day. Tomorrow will be my next 2 mile session.

Now I'm off to find some breakfast .... um, brunch.

 

[DoeWDW]

OK, I'm feeling overwhelmed in just about every area of life. I've been sitting here playing mindless games on the computer, trying to get away from that sick feeling in my stomach that there's too much to be done and I'm not doing any of it. Of course, since I'm just vegging and not DOING any of it, I'm feeling more and more paralyzed.

In the past, I'd let this go on and on and wind up in bed for 2 days with even MORE to catch up on. Instead I'm going to pick myself up and write a list of all the worrisome areas and pick one small thing to work on in each one. That way I can start solving the problem and feel productive, instead of spiraling down into a deep depression.

I feel grungy - I'm going to take a shower as soon as I send this.
EDIT: Done!

The checkbook hasn't been balanced in a month (or more ) - I'm going to gather the checkbook and register and write in all the transactions, without balancing it.

I have no idea what's for dinner tonight - I can make PBJs and soup if nothing else pops into my head between now and then.

Work - I'm in between projects and not sure what to do with myself. I'll go in tomorrow and do the first thing on my color-coded to-do list. That will be enough.

The house is a total and complete wreck - I'll set the timer for 5 minutes and clean off the kitchen counters. EDIT: Done AND I started the dishwasher!

The trip to St. Louis needs to be planned - I can talk to DH and copy down the flight information, car rental, and hotel stuff that has already been reserved. Then I can fill in details from there.

The busy schedule coming up - I already wrote most of the stuff on a master calendar. I need to find the band schedule and fill that in. EDIT: Done!

The day care's website - I can put up a very basic "under construction" page with the name, address and phone number of the center, so at least people know how to contact them. EDIT: Done!

Laundry - I can at least do one load of whites today and get them put away. EDIT: Whites are in the washer!

Looking at this list, it's no wonder I'm feeling overwhelmed! Each thing isn't that tough to do but the sheer size of the list weighs heavy on me.

I'm going to print this off and just work down the list. Even if I only make progress on one or two things, at least I can count today as a success instead of a waste.

Somehow writing it down helps immensely. Instead of worrying about doing EVERYTHING, I can just focus on the list above and make some progress. Back to baby steps for me.

 

[lulu201]

One step at a time. . .just keep walkin.'

E.

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Doe,

I hope tomorrow is a wonderful day for you! Like Erin said: "Take it one step at a time." aw: aw: aw: aw:

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Cruise04]

Sorry you have been feeling so overwhelmed. At least you did get some things accomplished, no matter how small or minor they were - you accomplished them!!!! Good job. Hope your day is brighter tomorrow.

Keep on
Chris

 

[DoeWDW]

What a difference a day makes!

I'm feeling so much better. I had an easy time waking up and getting out of bed and felt eager to take on the day. I'm at work and ready to get started.

Last evening I atteded a meeting at church and then came home to make dinner for the family. I served grilled cheese sandwiches and soup at 9:45 PM. Why they didn't bother to eat before then is beyond me, but since I was starving and making food for myself, I figured I might as well make some for them too. I ate moderate carbs yesterday but I didn't binge or eat junk so it was a success in my mind.

Today I'm back to the work routine:
1. Devotions - My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him. - Psalm 62:5
2. Pills - will take with breakfast
3. Water - yep, 3 16oz mugs today, already started
4. Healthy eating - B will be yogurt w/ walnuts, L will be sausage egg cheese croissant, D?? uh oh, no plan, I'll think about this today
5. Exercise - 2 miles scheduled
6. Scale - 154 and steady

Onward and into my day! I'm ready!

 

[lulu201]

, dear WISH-sis. You've turned things around a bit since yesterday, haven't you? You're cruising now! And you know, even if you don't feel like it all day, you're in a good place, helping yourself to weather the storms of the day to day.

Thanks for your insights yesterday, they've helped me a lot.

,
Erin

 

[septbride2002]

Glad to hear you are feeling better today. I know I always feel better when I write my to do list down.

What needs to be planned for your St. Louis trip? Is there anything that I can help with?

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

I've been doing some research on job burnout and this article really spoke to me:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm

I'll be spending some time today evaluating my job situation and looking for ways that I can improve how I feel about my current job. Changing jobs isn't an option so I must learn to make peace with the job I have. I used to really ENJOY the work so I know there's hope for me to rekindle some of that joy.

 

[LAinSEA]

Doe:

There are two schools of thought on job burnout from what I've looked into. The more creative of a thinker you are, the more you need to do something that you can be passionate about. When work becomes sheer drugery and you cannot find anything to look forward to, it is time to move on. The other line of thinking is that it is your attitude is key to whether or not you can stand working at what you are doing. Good attitude, you feel like you can continue to accomplish something. Bad attitude, you begin to wonder why you are here.

You know where I fell...and I'm pushing myself to find a way to meet my passion with my career. While it stressful and difficult work in getting there, I'm already feeling much more optimistic.

In my limited exposure, you seem to be much more upbeat when you are leading training sessions or working with others - at least that is when your posts seem to be brightest. When you are stuck at your desk, the EVM calls and things begin to pile up and get overwhelming. I don't know if within your organization you can focus more on the training or working projects with others, but it might be a solution. You write quite well and maybe you could begin to contribute to an organization newsletter. All in all, sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone and ask for responsibilities where you can shine. Everyone has to take care of the boring administrative tasks (even teachers), but if it is just 10-20% of your time, the rest might be better.

I have a favor to ask, if you and your son and daughter would be willing. I have to do interviews with high school students on attitudes towards life and school to put together a paper for Monday. I haven't gotten the questions yet, but it might be a fun activity and informative to see how your young adults are feeling about themselves, school, and the future. If you are interested, I'll PM and send you the list of questions once I write them or receiving them.

Chin up! It is your life, live it!

-Laurie

 

[DoeWDW]

Thursday! Can the weekend be far behind?

Yesterday I met only 2 of my goals: I took my pills and I got on the scale. All in all, it wasn't a bad day, but I want to strive to make today better. I did my devotions, but I also try to memorize the Bible verse (or paraphrase it) and repeat it throughout the day and I didn't do that yesterday. I didn't drink enough water, I had an ice cream cone for dinner and I didn't do my training miles (sore foot). The funny thing is I feel positive this morning - lots of room for improvement!

Today:
1. Devotions - Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. - Joshua 1:9 I'll repeat throughout the day "I will be strong and courageous, not afraid or dismayed, for God is always with me."
2. Pills - taken.
3. Water - started.
4. Healthy eating - B was yogurt w/ almonds
5. Exercise - I should do 2 miles. I'll see how my foot feels tonight.
6. Scale - 155.

Tonight we get our family picture taken for the church directory. After that, I'll assess whether my foot is feeling good enough for a run or a walk or even a slow stroll.

Onward, with a positive and courageous attitude!

 

[lulu201]

Good morning, Doreen! Thank you for sharing your sunniness in my journal this morning. You gave me such an uplifting start to my day!

I'm sending lots of for your church picture tonight. All I can say is, I hope things go better with your DD than they went with mine! Such drama over what to wear. . .oh, my gosh. I'm praying that your photo shoot goes smoothly.

Wow, what a wonderful, insightful post from Laurie! What do you think about it?

Have a great Thursday, Doreen. The Friday party is only hours away now!

,
Erin

 

[DoeWDW]

I've been spending time pondering Laurie's post and my job situation.

Laurie, you hit the nail on the head. Lately I have felt good about training and when working with others on a specific project. That's because when I'm working on these things, I have concrete tasks and definite ways to measure whether I'm doing a good job or not.

When I'm sitting at my desk and floundering, it's because I have tasks that are a different type of work. I'm being asked to set policy, create department wide standards, implement a new area that no one else in the agency understands or even knows about. These things often do not have a well defined scope and I'm the only expert, so they weigh heavily on me. Even though I'm considered the "expert", I've only ever studied the ideas in books, I've never seen them in action, and yet I'm being asked to start from scratch and change the corporate culture to implement these new areas.

So, I've been working on getting away from those daunting areas and back into what I do best - things that are more concrete and well-defined. My boss and management have graciously agreed to take those tough areas away from me, at my request. I'm slowly getting back to more concrete tasks and week by week it is getting better, but it is a slow process.

The other problem is that I was coming into work each day with so much stress and anxiety built up over months and years. Now, even though the tough projects are no longer my problem, just sitting at my desk can bring on those anxious feelings, kind of like a panic attack. I've been working very hard on relaxation exercises, listening to calming music, moving to a quieter cubicle with less distraction and noise - anything I can do to lessen those anxious feelings. It has been working and those anxious feelings are coming back to me less often, but it will take time and patience to let them go completely.

The good news is that my sunny attitude and optimism are returning at work. I'm beginning to see the flickers of my old passionate self again. Those flickers keep me going when the anxiety starts to sneak in.

Day by day, moment by moment, I'm choosing to mold my work environment to help me find my passion again.

 

[DoeWDW]

I forgot to mention, for those who might be wondering, that I finally got all my recent test results back.

Stress EKG - looked good, no problem
Cholesterol and other blood work - looked good, no problem
Mammogram - looked good, no problem
Skin biopsy - no trace of cancer

So, I've gotten a clean bill of health! YIPPEE!!