Donations for multiple births

[DizBelle]

What do you folks think about a couple expecting multiple children in one birth (3, 4, 5, or more) getting donations of clothes, diapers, food, or even a car/van?

Does your opinion change if the couple went through fertility treatments and more than expected "took"?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Does your opinion change if the couple went through fertility treatments and more than expected "took"?

I know I will get flamed for this, but this makes all the difference to me.

 

[mtemm]

Honestly I don't think its my concern as to whom other people choose to donate items to. It doesn't phase me when I hear stories like this, in fact it usually makes me smile because it is so considerate of people to do. As far as I know nobody is forced to, usually they do this because they know (or can imagine) how expensive one child is, especially during that first year or so, let alone several children all at once. And as far as I know, none of these parents have ever said to each other, "hey, honey, I know how to pull off the perfect con! lets have lots of kids all at once so we can get a van!" lol.

I have twins who just turned 2 and I'm still reeling from the costs. lol.

as for whether there were fertility treatments involved, again, why would that be any of my business?

 

[AllyandJack]

If someone wants to donate, that's up to them.

If you undergo fertility procedures, you know the risks. I have 2 embryos transferred and my doctor never ceases to tell me that twins aren't my greatest concern. One could split. Two could split. If you can't afford it, you should plan the procedure accordingly.

Nobody should EXPECT to be given stuff if they end up with more kids than they can handle....whether they're all at once or if they come one at a time.

 

[va32h]

I personally would not donate to a couple just because they had multiples. It would not matter what the circumstances of the conception were. That's just not my idea of charity,

What other people do is their business, of course.

I do disagree with the corporate sponsorships couples like the McCougheys (and even the Duggars, though they didn't have all their kids at once) have received - free diapers, appliances, vehicles, homes, etc.

If it's PR and tax deductions these companies are looking for, I would think more of the company if they chose to donate to foster families, or couples who've adopted hard-to-place children, or group homes, etc.

 

[luvwinnie]

I know I will get flamed for this, but this makes all the difference to me.

Me too.

 

[Castlebound]

If someone wants to donate, that's up to them.

Nobody should EXPECT to be given stuff if they end up with more kids than they can handle....whether they're all at once or if they come one at a time.

This is how I feel also. I don't care how many kids people have as long as they support their family themselves.

I truly feel like the big company donations would be better spent on families who had normal lives and then something happened to turn their lives upside down and now their normal lives are gone. Those families are working their butts off to keep their heads above water but aren't on every talk show talking about how "the system" wronged them.Those are the families that seen to get lost because they don't make a great 60 Minutes story. They are usually people who will not ask for help because they feel like someone could use the help more than them.

 

[DawnCt1]

It doesn't bother me at all. The risk of fertility treatments are multiple births. Now those parents could decide to "cull the litter" by aborting 2, 3 or 4 fetuses or they can decide to go forward with the pregnancy thus sparing those babies' lives. If they decide to through with the pregancy the way it is, God Bless them.

 

[MAKmom]

It doesn't bother me at all. The risk of fertility treatments are multiple births. Now those parents could decide to "cull the litter" by aborting 2, 3 or 4 fetuses or they can decide to go forward with the pregnancy thus sparing those babies' lives. If they decide to through with the pregancy the way it is, God Bless them.

I agree.

 

[Beth76]

Yes it bothers me. There are needier people.

 

[luv2nascar]

I would not donate to multiples regardless of how they were conceived. It really irks me though when families chose to go through fertility and then ask for donations. If people chose to donate that is one thing but asking. Come on.

 

[taeja71]

Here's another spin on your topic.

Sextuplets hoax leads to charges
Couple accused of stealing cash, other gifts from people who believed their story

By David Twiddy
Associated Press
INDEPENDENCE, Mo. -- A couple who lied about having sextuplets and were showered with money and other gifts were charged Friday with stealing from the people they fooled.

They made it up: Sarah (center) and Kris Everson (right) talked with a public defender Friday at the Independence, Mo., courthouse before being arraigned on felony charges of stealing by deceit. They had told people Sarah gave birth in March to six ill babies. - JEFF STEAD / Associated Press

Kris and Sarah Everson admitted to police and reporters earlier this week that it was a hoax. They'd been telling people that Sarah Everson gave birth in March to six critically ill babies.
The Grain Valley couple were charged with stealing by deceit and could get up to seven years in prison. A judge entered not-guilty pleas for them. Both Eversons were released on bond later Friday.
Kris Everson, 33, declined to comment outside the courthouse. His 45-year-old wife, released later in the day because she faced outstanding traffic warrants, refused to comment when reached by phone in jail.
Prosecutor Michael Sanders said the Eversons are charged with collecting $3,500 in cash from a local charity and employees at the Grain Valley brake manufacturing plant where Kris Everson worked.
Sanders said investigators believe more people gave the couple gifts and cash, and that some of the victims might be reluctant to come forward because of embarrassment.
"In the Midwest, we are a very trusting and generous community," Sanders said, but "when individuals take advantage of that trusting and caring nature, we have to send a very clear message that we will not accept that in this community."
Police Chief Aaron Ambrose said the couple took in money and other gifts through a bank account, a post office box and their Web site. Their tale began to unravel after their story appeared on the front page of The Examiner in Independence.
"It snowballed, and basically it was hard to stop and they didn't know how to stop it," said Terry Ford, the Grain Valley detective who got the couple to confess Wednesday.
In a front-page column published Friday, The Examiner's executive editor, Dale Brendel, apologized to readers, saying the paper held the story for three weeks before eventually being convinced it was true.
"We shouldn't have published anything until we verified it with our own cameras," Brendel wrote.
Police said Sarah Everson told them she went so far as to gain 40 pounds to further the ruse.

direct article link: http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060415/NEWS06/604150427&SearchID=73241862039938


If I got sucked in and suckered, I'd be really pissed off.

 

[AllyandJack]

That goes to show you....if you DO donate, donate diapers and formula. If they're lying, they'll be stuck with a closet full of diapers and formula.

 

[taeja71]

That goes to show you....if you DO donate, donate diapers and formula. If they're lying, they'll be stuck with a closet full of diapers and formula.

So true!

I'm really not mean (see post above). IF I knew the couple personally, of course I'd help out any way I can. I've got my own important cause, my family's gasoline fund.

 

[Pigeon]

I don't have a great deal of sympathy for the parents of higher order multiples. I think it's a reckless thing to do. If companies want to donate stuff to them, that's up to the company, and they are doing it for the publicity.

Someone at a church I used to attend had quads, conceived on fertility drugs, and they already had two kids under 4 years old at the time they got pregnant with the brood. I know the fertility doc they used. I had a consult with him myself and ran screaming from his office straight to my adoption agency. Anyway, some lady from the church called me (a working woman with two adopted kids) to tell me that my name had been put on a list to provide homecooked dinners to this family. Let's just say the church lady wouldn't make that mistake again.

 

[Caradana]

I would absolutely donate. There but for the grace of God go I ...

It actually doesn't matter to me if the family used fertility meds. If I were struggling with fertility, I'd be on them in 10 minutes flat. I find it hard to fault people for making the same decisions I would make if I were wistfully fantasizing about having children, and couldn't.

 

[BuzzPrincessMom]

As someone who struggled for years to have her own, I too couldn't fault anyone just trying to have a child. I know someone who has had 2 failed IVF cycles, 40+ who just put back 5 eggs, hoping just one would stick. Unfortunately none did. But if it was the exact opposite, and all 5 took. I would be one of the first in line to offer help.

When DH and I decided how many to put back, it was a hard line, trying to be responsible and how many could we handle, but how could we give ourselves the greatest odds of achieving our dream.

My twins turn 5 Wednesday.