Does this make me a bad mom??

[Okimom]

Personally I could never leave one of my children behind and enjoy myself on a "family' vacation because part of my family would be missing. Ive taken many vacations without my husband (hes in the military) and I still get sad when I look at the pictures because it wasn't really a vacation without him. So, for ME it would be a huge no way.. Another thing to consider is how your older children would feel without the baby with them. I know mine would not be happy to leave one of their siblings behind and it would lead to a lot of tears and upset on their parts. They all like to be together.

As for the meal plan the way it worked when we were there last is the server brought out a drink (water) for my 16mo and she shared off of my plate. If it wasn't something I thought was a good idea to share (or I didn't want to share ) I bought her a dish or she shared with her siblings.. My older ones didn't mind sharing with their little sister. Any "special" cups were add ons (aka they cost extra) so we didn't get them. No crying because no one had anything special. Buffets she got her own plate and the family style meals she got her own plate. I think we might have had to buy 2 meals total for her in the 10 days we were there

 

[To the honeypots]

Not a bad mommy. You clearly care about your child and doing what is best. With that said, my son's best trip was when he was 2. He LOVED the characters and had an absolute blast on the rides. Bonus was that he was free and too young to be interested in all the souvenirs. He just went with the flow and had a great time.

 

[pigletgirl]

2 year olds nap, most 4 year olds do not.
2 year olds are not tall enough for any rides with height limits, most 4 year olds are at least 40 inches which opens up a LOT of rides to them.
2 year olds are either in diapers or newly potty trained, most 4 year olds are completely potty trained.
2 year olds still need a stroller for sure, you can get away without one for some 4 year olds, especially if it is the only child with you.

Some people are fine with those things, and it is a completely different story bringing a 2 or 3 year old when they are the only child or the oldest child. Of course you will be basing the trip off them. When you have older children that don't need or want as many breaks sometimes it is just nice to focus on them. Some people don't go to Disney often so they want to wait. We will not bring our boys until our younger son is 4 minimum.

For us, its easier right now because we only have our daughter. When we have child #2, I think it'll change in a big way. I don't think I could take a baby younger than 1, but more-so younger than 6 months. It's too much work!

 

[michael's mom]

No, it does not make you a bad mom. But...I agree with other posters that it sounds like you are torn. I personally couldn't leave my LO home because I'd miss her when seeing others her age.

We took a trip down when DS was just shy of 3. He did nap...but napped very well in his stroller and he was our only. There is no reason you couldn't do rider switch for the rides she can't go on. Our last trip, DD was shy of 2 and DS LOVED that he got on all the thrill rides twice in a row.

I have been to WDW 4 times with DS (14 months, almost 3, almost 5, almost 7), and the year he was 2 was my favorite! He remembered things. Lots of things. 2 years later as we were getting ready for our next trip he talked about things he remembered (Buzz Lightyear, meeting Mickey, the pool). He didn't remember everything but I remember it all.

The look on his face when he met Mickey still brings tears to my eyes and I can still hear his bursts of laughter when he saw the Wishes for the first time.

If you are torn, even the slightest, bring her because I fear you'll regret it once you are there and your trip wouldn't be as magical.

But don't let Mommy Guilt get you. You know your kids and you know what's best for your family. If you don't think she'd handle it well, let her have special time with her grandparents. I'm sure they'll spoil her like crazy and give her so much love and attention.

 

[Suzanne74]

It doesn't make you a bad mom. I have two kids 8yrs apart and just took my oldest to NYC and one weekend we took the youngest to Great Wolf Lodge. So I totally agree with doing things without all kids all the time.

That said, I think you will really regret it. There are so many babies, toddlers and preschoolers there. I took my 2yr old twice and then my 2nd born when she was 2. You will see them dancing, clapping and waving at parades, hugging Mickey etc... There are not many rides she can't go on, or at least rides the 4 and 6 could go on and she couldn't. Even those few ones, just kid swap and the best part is your older kids get to go on twice. Once with mom and once with Dad. And there are so many play areas, splash areas, cooling areas, etc...


I can see your point but I think it would be really hard to do that. I think the guilt would eat you more there. Plus there is no real additional cost. She is free. Disney is not a vacation I would separate the family.

 

[MandiC]

and I will say, only YOU know if you will regret it or not! I do not regret not bringing our boys. I know they would have enjoyed it, but I also know that at their ages they enjoyed grandma's house even more and that because they weren't with our girls got to *really* enjoy not only the trip but some special time with mom and dad. We'll go as a whole family next year and I won't feel so bad that we have to go at the younger kids' pace because my older kids had a trip where we got to go at their pace. I am quite confident it was the right decision for us (and I know several other families who have done the same with no regrets)

 

[mjkacmom]

I hope you bring your 2 year old. You will eventually regret it.

Or she might not! Personally, I never once regretted leaving LO's home with the grandparents, and being able to focus on the bigger kids.

 

[JoAnna525]

This is coming from the perspective of being the oldest of three kids at Disney. My first trip was when I was 11 and my youngest sister was 2 (middle sister was 7). There was not one thing that I was not able to do because my baby sister was with us. My mom and dad didn't do every single ride with us (which may be part of the equation for you), but we switched it up, mom and dad took turns with us, and my little sister was actually able to do a lot with us. Maybe it's just the relationship I have with my sisters, but I can't imagine those trips without either of them there.

As a mom, I've taken my DS three times - twice around the age of two - and he remembers EVERYTHING. I've loved all of my trips to Disney, but the ones with him at that age have been the best because everything was so real to him.

I think it really comes down to what kind of trip you want - if you're planning on this being the "do-Disney-or-die!" type trip, then maybe this isn't the best one for your 2 year old.

 

[djp0630]

My last 3 trips to WDW, I've had at least one child under 2 (our last trip, my twins were 1 1/2). And honestly, they all had a great trip! They could ride most things. We did have my parent's help when it was the 4 kids. I found that most rides my toddler can go on. And yes, there are some rides that your youngest couldn't go on, mainly the 40" ones, but one could stay with the 2 year old and the other could go with the 4 & 6 year old. Splash Mountain can fit 3 in a row, Soarin' one adult could take 2 kids, I think Test Track too, Tower of Terror, etc. You might have difficulty on Thunder Mountain and Expedition Everest.

One of my favorite Disney memories was my son who was 20 months old and he LOVED Pooh! Slept with a Pooh stuffed animal every night. When we were in AK, we met him and he literally had to be pried off Pooh. He loved him so much.

Personally, I don't think I could leave any of my children at home even if it would be easier, just cause I know I would feel guilty the whole time thinking about what they were missing, but that's just me. But everybody's different, only you know your family.

 

[Fratthouse]

You have to decide what is best for your family, but here's my experience.

We took our son when he was just over 1 and totally regretted it. It was MISERABLE. He wouldn't sleep for nap or for nighttime, which made all of us exhausted and frustrated. He was crabby and high maintenance and didn't really enjoy any of it.

The next year, my husband and I went by ourselves and had a wonderful time.

We took him when he was almost 3 and it was FABULOUS. We've gone 3 times this year and have another trip planned in March. But I will never forget the disappointment of that first trip with him and wouldn't feel guilty at all about leaving a baby at home in the future. As long as this isn't your only trip and you'll be able to take the family on future trip, I say go for it.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

We took our DS at 16 months to WDW, at 2 years old to DL, and we're going to WDW again next month when he'll be 2.5.

Given my experience, I vote take your littlest one with you! They may not enjoy the same things your older two do, but will still enjoy themselves. My DS enjoyed swimming and getting to spend all day everyday with family, even he didn't enjoy meeting the characters, for example.

The best apart about taking an under 3 is they are free! Between rider swap and fast pass+, we were able to do the things we wanted while still being mindful of DS. Also, it's easier taking a toddler to Disney than many other vacation destinations!

Personally, if I left DS behind I would miss him too much and spend so much time thinking about him I doubt I'd enjoy myself very much. My husband and I go on shorter weekend trips on our own but a whole week would be too much IMO, even though he has a great time at my mom and dads.

Either way, you are NOT a bad mom!

 

[Distiny]

I'm the youngest child and if my parents had taken a family vacation and left me at home, that would've been something that upset me years later. Your child will look back on this and realized s/he is not in any of the pictures. We have taken our kids to Disney at young ages and they LOVE it. After Disney, my two-year old would come down every night at bedtime for a full year to talk about Chef Mickey's. It's something we will never forget. A two-year old would love Disney. Sounds like you are willing to sacrifice your littlest one's happiness for your own happiness and your older children's. To me, Disney is all about making my kids happy and less about what is easiest for me. I couldn't imagine leaving a child at home. That being said, no, it doesn't make you a bad mom, but your child may resent you for it later.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm the youngest child and if my parents had taken a family vacation and left me at home, that would've been something that upset me years later. Your child will look back on this and realized s/he is not in any of the pictures. We have taken our kids to Disney at young ages and they LOVE it. After Disney, my two-year old would come down every night at bedtime for a full year to talk about Chef Mickey's. It's something we will never forget. A two-year old would love Disney. Sounds like you are willing to sacrifice your littlest one's happiness for your own happiness and your older children's. To me, Disney is all about making my kids happy and less about what is easiest for me. I couldn't imagine leaving a child at home. That being said, no, it doesn't make you a bad mom, but your child may resent you for it later.

You really resent your parents for not taking you on a vacation you wouldn't remember now anyway? Someone is a sensitive Sally! I'm so glad my kids aren't so self centered!

 

[lmcarr49]

You really resent your parents for not taking you on a vacation you wouldn't remember now anyway? Someone is a sensitive Sally! I'm so glad my kids aren't so self centered!

Why are you calling her self centered? It's unnecessary. Children of all ages love disney. She WILL regret it when she sees families of all ages there. I could NEVER leave my 2 year old son home just so we can get on some rides. I've been there with a 1 year old and it was a great experience.

 

[mjkacmom]

Why are you calling her self centered? It's unnecessary. Children of all ages love disney. She WILL regret it when she sees families of all ages there. I could NEVER leave my 2 year old son home just so we can get on some rides. I've been there with a 1 year old and it was a great experience.

I've been to WDW with a 2 and 4 year old, and had a great time. However, when the others were born, we left them home from certain vacations, to focus on the older kids without having to deal with naps and meltdowns. And guess what - NEVER regretted it, and my kids could care less. We went to Hershey Park every year, the place was full of babies and toddlers. My rule was you got to go when you were potty trained.

My kids always loved (and still love) staying with the grandparents. I've left a baby home from a week at the outer banks, 4 year old twins home when we went to DC, infant twins home when we went to Chicago... And all if them home when DH and I travelled alone, starting when dd18 was 6 months old.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Why are you calling her self centered? It's unnecessary. Children of all ages love disney. She WILL regret it when she sees families of all ages there. I could NEVER leave my 2 year old son home just so we can get on some rides. I've been there with a 1 year old and it was a great experience.

You don't know that she *will* regret it or not. Did I miss my 2 y/o DD while DH and I were there on our own for the Wine and Dine 1/2? Yes. But it didn't make me regret not bringing her. It made me *excited* to bring her on our November 2015 trip, but I didn't regret having this trip for just DH and I.

We didn't leave her "just so we could get on some rides." DH was running the 1/2 marathon at 10pm. He finished at 1:30am and we met up at 2am. We got back to Yacht Club around 4am. Not exactly a good trip to have a 2 y/o on.

 

[MandiC]

I'm the youngest too, my older brother is 6 years older than me, they brought him to Disney and not me...in fact they NEVER brought me to Disney I didn't go until I was almost 30 years old. Guess what? I don't resent my parents AT ALL! They barely had the money to bring my brother and they had an opportunity to bring him so they took it.
I didn't bring my boys, sometimes I would see a toddler around their ages and think aww, he'd really like this. Other times I would see a toddler their ages and be so thankful they were happy at home with grandma. I don't regret not bringing them, it's not because I think they wouldn't have had fun, it is because with 4 kids I fully believe in focusing on each child as an individual sometimes, with only our 2 girls who are close in age with us we got to do that. They usually wanted to do the same things and dh and I could be one on one with them. I can say with 100% certainty I won't ever regret not bringing them so I think it's funny people who don't know the OP would assume she will regret it. Even if, heaven forbid, something were to happen to someone in our family I wouldn't regret it because we had a wonderful time with our girls. It's not about the rides, it's about being able to do what our girls wanted without having tantrums, break downs, over tired kids, ect. My girls love fireworks, there is no way the younger two would have been able to stay awake for fireworks. We wouldn't have gotten to see nearly as much as we did with them because we would have been dealing with naps and strollers and to/from the resort for breaks. Once again, I don't believe anyone leaves their younger kids home because they don't think that child will have fun, there are many other valid reasons that you may or may not understand because your family is not the same as anyone elses family

 

[Nancyg56]

You really resent your parents for not taking you on a vacation you wouldn't remember now anyway? Someone is a sensitive Sally! I'm so glad my kids aren't so self centered!

It really is not necessary to call her self centered and "Sensitive Sally" . Her feelings are her own and they are valid. We are all entitled to feel how we feel, and while you may not have felt the same way, your way is not the only way.

Why are you calling her self centered? It's unnecessary. Children of all ages love disney. She WILL regret it when she sees families of all ages there. I could NEVER leave my 2 year old son home just so we can get on some rides. I've been there with a 1 year old and it was a great experience.

I'll chime in. When I was 25 the man I was seeing and am now married to, took me to WDW. It was just the MK back then. My children were all very young, age 6 ,4 and 2. I left them home and went on a well needed vacation from what had been the most stressful time of my life. Anyway, I missed them when we were in Disney, and both of us realized they all would have loved the experience, but 33 years later, I still do not regret leaving them home.

We all have our reasons for taking children or leaving them behind, and while the reasons will not always make sense to anyone else, if they work for our families, they are valid. I am a grandparent now, and I can tell you that if my DGD was staying with me, she would not miss a thing! Even now, when she is 13, and her parents refuse to go on an adults only Disney vacation because they fear that "she will be sad", they are kidding themselves. She told me she "can't get rid of them, Nana!" They are worried THEY will be sad, not her. She loves a "vacation" at Nana and Pa's house. WE have come to the conclusion that the only way these two will agree to leave her is for us to take her on a Disney Cruise while they are in WDW. DD is terrified of a boat, so she would never step foot on one.

 

[lmcarr49]

You don't know that she *will* regret it or not. Did I miss my 2 y/o DD while DH and I were there on our own for the Wine and Dine 1/2? Yes. But it didn't make me regret not bringing her. It made me *excited* to bring her on our November 2015 trip, but I didn't regret having this trip for just DH and I. We didn't leave her "just so we could get on some rides." DH was running the 1/2 marathon at 10pm. He finished at 1:30am and we met up at 2am. We got back to Yacht Club around 4am. Not exactly a good trip to have a 2 y/o on.

Totally different! We're not talking about an adults vacation without the kids. We're talking about leaving a kid behind while bringing the others.

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm the youngest too, my older brother is 6 years older than me, they brought him to Disney and not me...in fact they NEVER brought me to Disney I didn't go until I was almost 30 years old. Guess what? I don't resent my parents AT ALL! They barely had the money to bring my brother and they had an opportunity to bring him so they took it.
I didn't bring my boys, sometimes I would see a toddler around their ages and think aww, he'd really like this. Other times I would see a toddler their ages and be so thankful they were happy at home with grandma. I don't regret not bringing them, it's not because I think they wouldn't have had fun, it is because with 4 kids I fully believe in focusing on each child as an individual sometimes, with only our 2 girls who are close in age with us we got to do that. They usually wanted to do the same things and dh and I could be one on one with them. I can say with 100% certainty I won't ever regret not bringing them so I think it's funny people who don't know the OP would assume she will regret it. Even if, heaven forbid, something were to happen to someone in our family I wouldn't regret it because we had a wonderful time with our girls. It's not about the rides, it's about being able to do what our girls wanted without having tantrums, break downs, over tired kids, ect. My girls love fireworks, there is no way the younger two would have been able to stay awake for fireworks. We wouldn't have gotten to see nearly as much as we did with them because we would have been dealing with naps and strollers and to/from the resort for breaks. Once again, I don't believe anyone leaves their younger kids home because they don't think that child will have fun, there are many other valid reasons that you may or may not understand because your family is not the same as anyone elses family

Well said.