Does this make me a bad mom??

[Nancyg56]

I was just thinking about this a little more. Have you thought about asking the Grands to join you? My Dh and I have joined DD and DSIl on Disney trips and it is a blast! (Dh cannot come each trip, but on two, DSIL said he would not go unless I came too! LOL!!!) There are multiple benefits if this kind if thing can work for you. DH and I would take our little DGD back to the room when she was tired and DD and DSIl could head back out. Kady loved being with us so she had fun, and then her bath and bed. We also could take her to the pool.

Our friends down the street have two little girls and are starting to plan a trip that we have been told will not happen unless Nana and Pa are there too. My DH said he will consider it, but that if we do go, he plans on tossing all the adults out after dinner so they can go have fun while we take the girls to movies on the beach or back to the pool. You know...a vacation for them from Mom and dad!! LOL!

Anyway, just one more option to make your head spin! LOL!

 

[Grendalynn]

I cant imagine going to Disney World with out my entire family!! Each time we visit it is truly a different experience. Each age brings a new and different experience.

I am and I am not looking forward to our older years when DH and I get to travel to WDW without kids. It will be bitter sweet and I think I will feel rather guilty! Disney is our 'Happy Place' as a family!

 

[mrsbicewdw]

It doesn't make you a bad mom. You know what is best for your family.

Personally, I wouldn't consider leaving a small child off of a vacation. Kids of all ages enjoy disney and they all "get something out of it". If they don't remember it when they are older, oh well. Your four year old most likely won't remember it well either.

The two year old is free, so there isn't an added ticket cost. Most two year olds can share a meal with another member of the family, or the kids meals are cheap. And honestly, I have a 1.5yo and 4yo - on trips they have the same issues. At that age, the difference isn't much at all when it comes to needing sleep, over stimulation, etc.

Personally I would take the whole family.

 

[allegoricduck]

My daughter is 18 months and has been four times. She loves it and it is so much fun for us to show her Disney World.

Your two year old will be able to ride most of the rides. You can use rider swap for the few she can't.

I don't understand leaving a member of the family behind for a family vacation. And I think a week is too long for her to be apart from her parents.

 

[pigletgirl]

My daughter is 18 months and has been four times. She loves it and it is so much fun for us to show her Disney World.

Your two year old will be able to ride most of the rides. You can use rider swap for the few she can't.

I don't understand leaving a member of the family behind for a family vacation. And I think a week is too long for her to be apart from her parents.

I don't think it's too long. Furthermore, you know she'll be in good hands so if you want to spend this time with your two oldest, do it! Little ones consume time from parents and I think it would be nice to dote on the older ones for a little while. Disney World isn't going anywhere and you can take your youngest whenever you feel ready!

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't understand leaving a member of the family behind for a family vacation. And I think a week is too long for her to be apart from her parents.

This may not work for your family, and the time away may be too long for your child, but you really cannot assume that it is for others. In my family the time away would be too long for my DGD parents, but not necessarily for my DGD. DH and I have worked very hard to ensure that when she comes to our house she is pretty well at home. She has her own room with all of her own things, and has expressed that she likes to "vacation" with Nan and Pa. I figure if the OP is comfortable with leaving their little one with the grands, the child will be fine.

 

[MandiC]

I don't think it's too long. Furthermore, you know she'll be in good hands so if you want to spend this time with your two oldest, do it! Little ones consume time from parents and I think it would be nice to dote on the older ones for a little while. Disney World isn't going anywhere and you can take your youngest whenever you feel ready!

Ditto! I am so happy we got to dote on our girls, they so rarely get so much attention anymore because their little brothers just need more attention in general. We got to do what they wanted, on their time frame and not worry about naps and tantrums and strollers.
We have left the kids several times to go on trips with just my husband and I (not to Disney) and I love reconnecting with him and remembering that I love him for so much more than just being mom and dad to the kids. Going to Disney with just our daughters reminded me of that in a way, we got to really focus on them and who they are and what they love and they got ALL of our attention and it was WONDERFUL.

 

[Angel Ariel]

This may not work for your family, and the time away may be too long for your child, but you really cannot assume that it is for others. In my family the time away would be too long for my DGD parents, but not necessarily for my DGD. DH and I have worked very hard to ensure that when she comes to our house she is pretty well at home. She has her own room with all of her own things, and has expressed that she likes to "vacation" with Nan and Pa. I figure if the OP is comfortable with leaving their little with the grands, the child will be fine.

ITA with the above. My parents are around frequently, and DD is very comfortable with them - both at our house and at theirs. Like this poster says, she has her own room and her own things at my parents' house also - plus she gets to see her cousins (the 5 y/o loves to play with her!). We live in different states, but only a few hrs apart, so while she sees my parents a lot because they come to us, she doesn't see her cousins unless we go to them (they live minutes from my parents' house).

We certainly don't make a habit of having the grandparents watch her for that long, but it has happened twice. Once for our November adults-only trip to WDW (which I already talked about here) and once when we moved houses over the summer. We had *so* much to do for the move, and it was much *much* easier to accomplish it without working around her schedule.

She's not scarred from spending the time away from us. She's with us all the time - a little time away where she gets special grandparent play time is a treat for her.

 

[shm_helene]

I didn't read through all the posts, but based on the first page I will add my two cents.

All the posts I read talked about "it's a family trip". Now, my youngest was a little over 1 when we went the last time. She stayed for 1/2 the trip and then my parents took her home with them when they left. I hadn't planned on sending her home but she was very clearly done with the vacation at that point. The trip was soooo much more fun, for everyone, when she went home. She had great fun with her grandparents and we got to spend some amazing 1 on 1 time with our older daughter (just over 3).

It seems like the posts I read talked about "you're not a bad mom but...." You're NOT a bad mom if you leave one at home. It is OKAY to focus on one of your kids every once and a while and provide them with an experience that is amazing for them. Have fun, relax, and don't worry about anyone else!!

 

[Southern Bell]

No it does not make you a bad mom! If her grandparents are like most she will be there being loved and spoiled! LOL!

I took my daughter and her family 2013. My grandaughter was 1 1/2 and grandson was 4. They both enjoyed it a lot. I enjoyed being at Disney with both! She enjoyed it more than we thought she would. There was plenty for her to do! She loved the Characters in costume.

The downside of her trip and it might be for you and your youngest was that Her and I spent a lot of time waiting in the shade while she slept in stroller, inside gift shops in air conditioning while she napped, while everyone else was riding something. We did plenty with her but she would tire out sooner and while brother was still wanting to go! LOL! Also, to our surprise , she did notice, and cried once, when she was left behind with me while brother was going to ride with grandpa.

We did enough that I didn't regret going and taking her but I knew her trip to Disney had been different than when we took Aaron at 2 yrs by himself.

We took our grandson at 2 before she was born and it was an entirely different trip for him being the only child. He was catered to all week with just things he could do! No waiting on anyone! Even though we planned things for her to do also, she was still sometimes more along just for the ride, but.. not getting to ride! LOL!


So.. I can see the positive and negative in taking a younger child with the older ones. I think either way you go will be correct and you will be a good mom! But I don't think the younger will keep up or do as much as the older children and someone will have to stay behind at times with the younger child.

Either way have fun and enjoy your children!

 

[Emca11]

We are taking our daughters (4&6) to Disney next month and we are looking forward to leaving our 13 month old with his grandparents, lol. Not that we don't adore our son, but it will be sooooo much easier to enjoy the experience with our daughters (who will actually be getting something out of the experience) than have to deal with the distractions of a baby.

If this a once in a life time trip, then I would feel guilty and want them in family photos if not for any other reason. But you are planning on going again. Her face is going to light up the same way when she sees Minnie for the first time, whether it's now or in a couple of years from now, it will be just as special for her.

Not only will it be a great experience for you and your older kids, but it will be nice for the grandparents to get to spend quality time with their granddaughter. My parents are thrilled to get my son all to themselves.

 

[smiths02]

I don't think you are a bad mom, but I can't imagine leaving part of my family to go to a family vacation destination. I could understand if you and your DH went on a romantic getaway or you took a school-aged child on a more educational trip (Washington, D.C., etc.), but I don't understand taking a 4 year old and not a 2 year old.

 

[GatorMama]

It definitely doesn't make you a bad mom! Leaving the toddler with strangers would. This wouldn't!

That said, DS5 had his first trip at 22 months and was south fun! Then we went again for his 3rd birthday (little brother was 4 months old). We planned for DS2s 3rd birthday to be at Disney too but baby 3 is due just a few weeks before that, so instead, we will go when baby is 5 months old. And we will have a lovely time as a family again. To us, a family vacation is about the whole family, not just the ones who will have the most fun. DH wants to play at the pool most. So that's on our list. DS5 wants to eat with stitch most, so that's on our list. D2 wants to see Princess Sophia, so that's on our list. My #1 is not to cook at all, so we got the dining plan. And baby will dictate some of our sleeping and resting. But we will all get tondo the most important things to us.

 

[MandiC]

but I don't understand taking a 4 year old and not a 2 year old.

2 year olds nap, most 4 year olds do not.
2 year olds are not tall enough for any rides with height limits, most 4 year olds are at least 40 inches which opens up a LOT of rides to them.
2 year olds are either in diapers or newly potty trained, most 4 year olds are completely potty trained.
2 year olds still need a stroller for sure, you can get away without one for some 4 year olds, especially if it is the only child with you.

Some people are fine with those things, and it is a completely different story bringing a 2 or 3 year old when they are the only child or the oldest child. Of course you will be basing the trip off them. When you have older children that don't need or want as many breaks sometimes it is just nice to focus on them. Some people don't go to Disney often so they want to wait. We will not bring our boys until our younger son is 4 minimum.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

Why not just wait until everyone's old enough????

 

[HockeyIsLife]

NO!! This doesn't make you a bad mom!!!
Leaving her at home means that you can focus on enjoying your children who are age appropriate for rides and experiences, and she will have a blast getting spoiled by her Grandparents.
I am sure your older children would love special time with you and your husband, as a small child can demand a lot of attention.

Don't subscribe to mommy guilt. You have to do what is right for your family. And your sanity.

I fully believe a child can't handle Disney until they can remember something about it when you get home.

 

[tlh0726]

Disney is filled with children of all ages. If you are feeling guilty/questioning now how will you react seeing other families with small children having a blast? You definitely will be surrounded by things that remind you of the one left behind or see something you know they would have just loved if they were there. Will this put a damper on your vacation? What if the older two start saying I wish XX was here? Why did you leave them at home??

Only you can answer the question as to what is best for you and your family.

 

[twinmom319]

First of all, if you have decided this is what is right for your family, then I agree with everyone who says don't get sucked into the mommy guilt.

But I think that just how you are asking the question shows that you are torn by it... and I worry that you will regret not taking the 2 year old once you are there. There is so much for the 2 year old to do!! Our first trip was when the twin were 3 and they ate it up. And another trip the baby was 10 months and I was so surprised at how much she absorbed!! AND I agree with another poster that your kids are so close in age ... the next youngest one is going to be just as overstimulated, so you will be dealing with all of that anyway.

Plus. Not to be a downer... but we lost DH to cancer a year ago... and having those memories and pictures of all of us, the whole family together, that is priceless. I am a huge subscriber - even before that - to the concept that you NEVER know what is going to happen, and don't put off things like a whole family vacation until "the perfect time", or the kids being "the right ages."

Of course, you decide what is right for your family and go for it!! And whatever you decide DOES NOT make you a bad mom!!! Just wanted to give you another perspective.

 

[DSNY4ever]

You know what is best for you, but I could never leave one child at home and take another to Disney (but that is just me!). We took our DS for his second birthday and it was AMAZING- I even made a thread about it-
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3210994

We only had one kid with us, but we are already planning to do the same trip when our daughter turns 2! We can't wait

 

[lmcarr49]

I hope you bring your 2 year old. You will eventually regret it.