Does Mom Ever have meltdowns while on trips?

[vhoffman]

Well I'm starting to get some good ideas from this board. I'm glad to see I'm not alone with my trip meltdowns. I empathize with the poster who found herself crying the last night of her trip. Our last trip was to Hawaii (our first there but not our last!) and I found myself crying the last night at dinner. DH thought I was just getting emotional about leaving. Actually, I was thinking how tired I was and we had an 8 hour night flight ahead of us plus a four hour drive on the other end. How was I going to hold up?!!

I think part of planning an enjoyable vacation is not to over plan. Lets face it, we are NOT having fun if we're crying! but why are we crying? Because we have planned too much in too short a time and didn't pace ourselves. However, its hard to actually plan down time. I mean, there you are, with the travel broucheres, guide books, etc., planning your trip. You just don't think to plan time for a nap, a down day, etc. You're so excited thinking about the trip you can't think about getting tired halfway through. But believe me, you will! Depending on how fast you recover from meltdowns, you might just ruin the whole trip with too hetic a schedule. Reminds me of my parents who took a tour to Europe many years ago. It sounded great during the planning phase--an all-inclusive tour, everything pre-arranged, no hassles for the travelers. However, my parents just didn't figure on how stressful a 3-week tour could be. Sleeping in hotels, eating in restaurants, being "on the clock" every day, took its toll. They had enough sense to declare a "rest day" for themselves. It was a rainy day in Paris, and they told their tour director they would bow out of the organized activities for that day. They just stayed in their room the whole day, sleeping, doing some laundry, ordered up room service. Well, the next day, they were restored and ready to go. The others on their tour thought it was terrible they missed some of the sights, however, they (my parents) wisely said the sights would have meant nothing if they were too tired to enjoy them. From now on, every trip of mine 5 days or more will have a built in down day. Five days or less will have at least a portion of a day as rest time. BTW, during my parents European vacation one man had to be hospitalized for exhaustion and dehydration. It can get to you!

 

[disneymom3]

I totallly agree with the folks who have said to just tell DH what to do. After almost 13 years of marriage to a totally wonderful husband, I have finally figured this out. Took me awhile but after several trips of feeling like, "What is the problem here? I know this man is not naturally a jerk. I usually really like him! Why does he not help out???" While I was going crazy trying to get ready, I finally figured out that the reason he was not helping was because he just did not see what needed to be done the same way that I did. As many people have mentioned, he can just throw some things in a bag and go.

So, I have things that I say, "What I really need you to do is....." A few of my favorites are making sure the kitchen is totally clean and all laundry is done and put away before we leave. (Told you he was a really great guy.) I also ask him to take everything for the car out to the garage but NOT put it in the car. I know he would not put it where I want it and I would get frustrated with that. But knowing as I now do and as one of the DHs on here also posted He cannot read my mind I just put it in the car where I want it and everyone is happy.

That said, I think what helps most on the trips is that we do stay in a condo/villa. At least one evening of the trip after the kids are in bed, DH stays there and watches TV and I go out and go to the resort store or sometimes even the grocery store. Another evening, I will stay in while he goes out and drives around or something. We also make sure to get the kids to bed at a reasonable hour and because we are in a 2 bedroom villa, they have their own bedroom and then we get take out from a local restaurant and watch a movie or show we like. Very easy couple time! This last winter we stayed all 5 of us in one hotel room on site. No, thanks--give me my car and separate space any day of the week.

I also avoid parades. I know my personality and I would just ruin it for myself by worrying about people invading our space.

 

[chrisn]

I have Disneyitis and looooove to plan for and have a whirlwind commando style trip. Well I don't really love the commando part of it but it always works out that way because we don't want to feel like we missed anything good.

I ALWAYS have a meltdown. It's either at the very beginning of the trip but most likely at the end. Right about day 7 of 10 I turn into a real b**ch. I mean I get snippy and snappy and nasty. A real pleasant person to be around. I know it's not just me because hubby doesn't turn into a b**ch but he sure does turn into an a**hole then we snap at each other and our poor babies (16&6) have to listen.

I know it's because I have pushed myself and everyone else to the extreme limit and maybe need a little snack too. So next February when we go, I am going to try and approach the trip a different way. We've been plenty of times and have learned so much from The DIS that we are pros and it really shouldn't be that rushed anymore. We're going to take it at a more relaxed pace this time. Maybe leave the parks a little earlier instead of filing out with the hoards and definitely stop and have a snack and drink when we start feeling raunchy.

We don't leave the parks for naps and we don't do the parades and we've seen all the fireworks shows so with the exception of Fantasmic, leaving a little early is ok with us. I'm interested to see how if anything this will effect our overall attitudes while touring the parks. Wish me luck!

p.s. to the I have a footache honey woman, I know exactly how you feel. Too funny!

 

[HenDuck]

ack! I am going to have to see if I can avoid a meltdown for our next trip to DL in December.

Because it's sort of an unplanned trip, I need to save as much vacation time as I can and cannot take the usual day or two before and after to prepare for and recover from the trip!

I am hoping to get everything packed the weekend before we leave (departure day is a Wednesday). It should be a no brainer - just pack all the same stuff we took in April (minus the diapers - yea! )

I will remember this thread and keep it in mind as I try to do laundry, clean the house and pack, not to mention go to work, all in the days before the trip!

But woohoo...we're going back!

 

[gopherit]

Well, I've been married 14 years this August to a wonderful man, but vacation planning / packing is surely not the reason I love him. When we were first married, it was easy -- he packed some stuff, I looked at it, gasped in horror, pulled out the old tacky shirts he had packed and replaced with clean ones, maybe added some extra underwear, the cord for his shaver, a pair of shoes -- you get the idea -- and then packed my bag -- voila, done. Add 3 kids to the mix now -- and aye yi yi... I have my work cut out for me. BUT -- I do admit it -- He COULD pack all the bags, but as he and I both have determined, we would have to live with the consequences. I would need to accept that he didn't have a belt (or perhaps even trousers... or shoes ... or a shave) for a nice dinner. Or that none of the kids had jackets for a windy day. Or bathing suits for a swim. Or budget some extra cash to have our car interior cleaned because (a) no one packed anti-nausea med for our son, nor (b) was a plastic bag handy for the aftermath, nor (c) were there any paper towels in the car... yet (d) there were plenty of snakcs in the car for said son to consume prior.... again, you get the idea. I suppose if DH were to be wholly responsible for packing ENOUGH times, he too would build a knack for it... or alternatively, we would all learn to be really good at adapting (and steam cleaning!) In any case, we all elected somewhere along the lines to NOT rehabilitate Dad into the packer/planner and instead go the Mommy route. So be it.

And I admit to self and spouse and all readers that I am a control-oriented person -- I feel best when I know where things are, that all is accounted for, that all is in order. To NOT have this control, this presence of mind, would be the equivalent of... well, go back one paragraph to my son sans-Dramamine, and that's pretty darn close. I just really feel a need to (a) know what's in all the bags to be assured all the needs are met for the trip and (b) know where all this stuff is in the car, in what bag, at any given moment. We have tried to compromise -- a few times I tried to pack all the bags and then let him load them in the van. Didn't work. Despite the best labeling efforts, the bag I would need for on the road was invariably buried at the bottom. THe bag we didn't need until final destination -- always the heaviest -- was on the top. Bags that shouldn't be crushed -- were. Bags that contained perishables ... well... perished. So... back to Square One. I pack it, I haul it to the car, I load it... and at 3 or 4 am, at long last, I collapse. Meanwhile, DH has browsed ESPN for a few hours, then retired for the night at a decent hour, and is amazingly up at the crack of dawn poking me, saying, "Hey -- Shouldn't you be getting up by now?" <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_204v.gif' alt='Pulling My Hair Out' border=0></a>

I have tried leaving the pre-travel errands to DH (like lining up the pet sitter), but somehow, it still ends up being work for me in that I end up being the one at home when said pet sitter arrives for the key and instructions, etc. Same goes for banking (I end up getting the cashola), passes (again that's me -- internet queen), the DVC points and reservations (he knows what DVC stands for and what the pricetag was when we joined... his knowledge pretty much ends there, though.) As for driving, he tells me, oh, it's ok hon, you can sleep and I'll drive -- but dh has a notoriously shorter ability to focus on driving and not get bored / sleepy. So here I am, just about to doze off and maybe add an hour or two to my lovely 3 hrs of total sleep the night before, and then it happens... I hear him slapping his cheeks, feels him shifting and squirming in his seat, making strange noises... all it takes is then one little scary rumble across those "warning grooves" on the edge of the road and I'm WIDE awake with adrenaline born of fear and maternal instincts to protect my progeny! He will swear to me then that he's ok, he's just a "little" tired.... (yeah, right... and the Titanic just hit a "little" patch of ice...). <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_6_102.gif' alt='Dismay' border=0></a> SO move over bacon, let me behind the wheel. Funny... he has no problem dozing off while I drive no matter WHAT noises I make! (Like, HEY -- WAKE UP! WAKKKKE UPPPPP! Hmmm. Nothing. Son, check your father for a pulse and then turn on the radio to some sports game -- he'll come to eventually, dear.)

We are leaving for a 2 week Disney trip in less than 30 days. I have already made out my list of instructions for the pet sitter (with phone #s and such). Tomorrow I will begin laying out the non-clothes items to be packed and making a checklist of what to take. I am ADAMANT that for this trip we will be PACKED AND READY the NIGHT BEFORE. We are going to try driving by night, and since that rules hubby's sleepy in the saddle driving right out the ol' window, that means no burning the midnight packing oil for me, either. Wish me luck.

On the other hand -- I will say -- once the trip is underway, I am usually VERY unstressed and even DH has to admit, I'm like a weirdly possessed Stepford wife in my uncanny ability to be upbeat. One thing that helps -- DVC villas (more space), taking "days off" from the parks with nothing except perhaps dinner ressies planned (DH jokingly calls them my "deliberately scheduled moments of spontaneous fun" days), and taking time to "split from the herd". We always take family with us, and it can get pretty crazy pretty quickly. I always make at least a few days where folks are left to their own devices and encouraged to divide and conquer... This trip, my kids are going on the Pirate cruise; DH and I will spend the next 1-2 hrs enjoying the solitude. I am also taking a day wherein I just have my 4 yr old dd as my "date" for the day while DH takes the boys to DQuest. Makes for a pleasant break in the chaos and great memories for all. I don't get stressed on the return trip either...

Depressed, YES! <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/29/29_1_6.gif' alt='Depressed' border=0></a> But stressed -- nah. <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_2_89.gif' alt='Not' border=0></a>

 

[disneymom3]

gopherit--your post is too funny. You should be a writer! I was going to quote a few parts I found funny, but then it would have been waaaay too much. Thanks for sharing your humor this morning!!

 

[HenDuck]

gopherit - that just cracked me up!

I know how you feel. If you want something done right, don't give it to the DH to do!

Good post!

 

[Musky]

Gopherit, now I know why my husband is never around. He has a second wife and it's you! Honest to God, my DH and yours must be twins separated at birth - they're exactly alike. Too funny!

Becky