Does anyone live with a Grump?

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

Mine DH is not grumpy but bless his heart he is so BORING. He doesn't like to do anything except work and sleep. I know he's not depressed, he's just progressively gotten like this the older he's getting (he's 60 now). It's just his personality.

He's going to retire when he's 62 so I'm hoping he will have more energy and will lighten up a bit.

 

[kimmikayb]

Same with my DH!!! He started on antidepressants a few years ago, and it helps. He still has his moments as well, but I attribute a lot of it to his job since he can have good days there and bad(he is an office manager, and if they are slow he has to lay off people, watch his spending, etc.). He has never been an extremely happy person, even when we first got married. Seems as he gets older, he gets worse!!! I try not to let it bother me as much anymore because I would drive myself crazy!!! I am the positive person in the family, whereas he is just the opposite. He does do the family stuff, and even doing Disney with us again this fall(which originally he said I could take the kids by myself because he says Mickey takes all his money!!!). So, I feel for everyone else who has a grumpy DH!!!

Spouses Of Grumps Unite!!!! I think we need a slogan and a secret handshake!!!

 

[Becky2005]

Hmmm....reading the first few posts, I think you have my husband over there.

He really is a good guy but basically a keep to myself, leave me alone, I'm a grump type of guy.

He basically hides out in the basement when we have company, etc...

Basically, I deal with it by pretty much just telling him what to do at this point. Then again, he says I have a controlling personality & like things my way so am pretty bossy. I guess we make a good pair.

I don't know, we will be married 16 years soon and it's his personality. It used to drive me batty because basically unless you *really* get to know him, he seems like this cold hearted clod & very few people can get past the wall he has. I think it stems from childhood (yes, he was one of those picked on at school & he said he learned quickly if you didn't show any emotion or let people know you were affected they would leave you alone.)

I think it's all a ploy to drive me bonkers though because *just* when I think I've figured it all out, he will go and surprise me with something completely out of character for him.

Oh well....this is the same guy that doesn't like crowds, doesn't like Disney yet when I suggest me just going with the kids -- he will all of a sudden tell me the things he wants to do there next time. Some of them are things that at the time, I swore he hated them and was having an awful time.

 

[stargrazer]

I have a grumpy husband; I didn't realize how much it would affect my life until after we were married.

We've been together for 12 years and he HAS gotten much better over time. No meds, no WAY would he consider that, he just wised up over time at how bad his moods were and how it affects the family.

We still have rough spots on occasion (who doesn't?) but he is definately better. Unfortunately I've went through some personality changes myself in response to his moods and I'm not real happy with the person I'VE become.

 

[olena]

Another Mrs. Grumpy here. I just live with it and it doesn't bother me too much.

He's always been that way and I kinda like it, because it compliments me and my outgoing positivity.

 

[MareQ]

I don't thank goodness, but my husband does....

 

[SpecialK]

Add me to the list! My DH comes from a long line of grumps. His parents perfected the art of looking at the worst case scenario. After 15 years together and me constantly reminding him that he has very little to be grumpy about and a lot to be thankful for, he's getting better. I don't let him get away with unfounded grumpiness - don't want my kids growing up to be that way.

 

[lovetoscrap]

DH does

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

When we were at Disney he bought a Grumpy shirt that says something like "the dude with the mood grumpy since 1937". I told him when he bought it he was finally admitting that he's grumpy (this was a big step!).

I am the resident grump in our household. I had to laugh at him buying the grumpy shirt as I did the exact same thing and told DH be careful when I am wearing this shirt as it means I am in a grumpy mood!

 

[VAgal76]

*Raising Hand* I do!

DH acts like a grumpy, old man. I told his mom that if he keeps the pace up the two of us will be picking out a nursing home for him real soon. The real kicker is that she completely agrees with me.

 

[Momie]

Oh yeah, my husband has the Grumpy shirt and wears it proudly!

I told him I was posting and it just made him grumpier, go figure!

Robin

 

[gris gris]

Love all the stories! DH isn't so grumpy today because he's a volunteer firefighter and last night they had a structure fire. So....he'll be in a good mood for a few days now !!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a grump.

Also it's interesting to see a lot of you mentioning that you're the complete opposite - that's how it is in our house. Maybe that's why we can stay together? I couldn't imagine raising our kids with 2 grumpy people.

 

[christineann]

gris gris, I divorced the grump!

He was actually a really mean alcoholic grump...........

 

[Kama89]

Sigh, I am the grump in our house. Although I fight it tooth and nail and most days manage (I THINK/hope) to bluff my way through the day without leaving toooo much grump rubble in my wake. I think it's a genetic thing in my case. Mom and grandmother were the same and now my son seems to be picking it up, although that could be typical teen angst. Makes for rough days when I'm doing my damndest to stay positive and he spends his time bah humbugging everything. Little poo!

 

[stargrazer]

So a polite question for admitted grumps...what is it that makes you grumpy? Is there a trigger? Just wake up mad every day? Depression?

It's hard for me to understand because I am so grateful for everyday that I can't imagine being grumpy, but with a grumpy husband I would REALLY like to understand!

 

[MareQ]

So a polite question for admitted grumps...what is it that makes you grumpy? Is there a trigger? Just wake up mad every day? Depression?

It's hard for me to understand because I am so grateful for everyday that I can't imagine being grumpy, but with a grumpy husband I would REALLY like to understand!

Grumpy people are not ungrateful people..... Not sure what depression woudl have to do with being grumpy either?!?!?!

Being grumpy is just another personality quirk which we all have. Some people are optomists - some pessimists, some cheerful no matter what - other people are not, some have a lot of patience - others do not.

 

[stargrazer]

Grumpy people are not ungrateful people..... Not sure what depression woudl have to do with being grumpy either?!?!?!

Being grumpy is just another personality quirk which we all have. Some people are optomists - some pessimists, some cheerful no matter what - other people are not, some have a lot of patience - others do not.

Well I guess I made a boo-boo...I didn't mean to imply that grumpy people were ungrateful, I meant to imply that I'M so grateful to be given another day on earth I couldn't possibly be grumpy. It was all about me, lol

I was being sincere in help me understand part though. I've just never understood why husband could be so grumpy all the time! But if I ask him about it he gets mad so I thought I'd try here...

 

[donnajon]

Depression has a lot more to it than just feeling extremely sad. It is a mood disorder and it affects sleep, appetite, energy and concentration just to name a few. It is a common misconception that people can "just snap out" of depression. In fact, saying that is a terrible thing to do to a depressed person. Would someone say "Just snap out" of your cancer or high blood pressure? No, and it doesn't work for depression either.

 

[stargrazer]

Depression has a lot more to it than just feeling extremely sad. It is a mood disorder and it affects sleep, appetite, energy and concentration just to name a few. It is a common misconception that people can "just snap out" of depression. In fact, saying that is a terrible thing to do to a depressed person. Would someone say "Just snap out" of your cancer or high blood pressure? No, and it doesn't work for depression either.

I must have missed the post you are referring to...

I have experience with depression, coming from a long line of suicides and mood disorders in my family I deal with it around others and, unfortunately, in myself. But none of my family is grumpy! I only put that in my list of causes because I'm trying to understand better. I hope you aren't referring to my post because I would never think someone that is depressed can snap out of it. If that were the case I'd still have my mom and dad


I think I must have misstated myself worse than I thought!

I retract my question. I have always accepted it as a personality trait; thought I might get more info but I'll just leave it be.

 

[gris gris]

I retract my question. I have always accepted it as a personality trait; thought I might get more info but I'll just leave it be.

Stargrazer I understand your question and it was sort of why I posted the topic in the first place. I love my grumpy DH, but I just wish I could understand why he's grumpy. He doesn't have answers and he is not a very good communicator at all. Also maybe pick up some coping skills. We've been together for 13 years, married for 8 and I can certainly tell when the grumpiness started - it was when we moved from his hometown to mine 7 years ago.

I do think it's part of his personality, and I can handle it, I just wish there was a way that he could not be so grumpy towards other people.