Does anyone live with a Grump?

[Kama89]

Stargrazer, don't retract your question... I also think I understand what you're asking, but unfortunately I don't really have a concise answer for you and I imagine each situation is so individual, identifying the reasons may be a really difficult thing to pin down. In my case, it just seems to be my personality. Glass empty kind of gal. I grew up with it, so that may be a huge factor in my case, but I really don't know. It's a frustrating trait to live with. Where for some folks, cheerfulness may be their primary mood, in my case, it's the opposite. While in most cases even when I may be "feeling" more or less positive on the inside, it doesn't always seem to translate to the rest of the world. I'm really not sure why. In other cases, I'm grumping and I know it, so have to work harder at not letting it take control. For the most part, I think I fake it pretty well, but the frustrating thing is... I wish I didn't have to "fake" it. Is it depression? Environmental? Upbringing? Genetics? Hormonal? Chemical? Just crabby by nature? Maybe all of the above. I wish I knew.

Best of luck to all crabbies and spouses of crabbies! I know it's a frustrating thing to live with on both ends. Sigh.

 

[stargrazer]

Gris Gris and Kama - THANK YOU. I felt SO bad that I might have insulted someone unknowingly!


DH is definately better, and I've mostly learned to handle it (or to recognize it and MOVE, lol) but I know it's hard on my DD who takes it personally, or even worse, on the people we come into contact with that DON'T know he's a grump. Waitresses, Bell Clerks, Check-Out Clerks, etc etc. I get so embarassed sometimes, but if I try and rectify the situation, guess who gets grumped on?


Kama I appreciate your honesty. I think it's wonderful that you are so self-aware! I'm glad we all have different personalities or the world would be booor-ring; I just don't know how to handle it when it's borderline mean sometimes (in my situation here).

 

[Momie]

Love all the stories! DH isn't so grumpy today because he's a volunteer firefighter and last night they had a structure fire. So....he'll be in a good mood for a few days now !!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a grump.

Also it's interesting to see a lot of you mentioning that you're the complete opposite - that's how it is in our house. Maybe that's why we can stay together? I couldn't imagine raising our kids with 2 grumpy people.

Ok, are we married to the same man? Mine is a volunteer also and he responds just in the same manner after a fire, he will be pumped up for days after. Must be the nature of the beast!

Robin

 

[Momie]

So a polite question for admitted grumps...what is it that makes you grumpy? Is there a trigger? Just wake up mad every day? Depression?

It's hard for me to understand because I am so grateful for everyday that I can't imagine being grumpy, but with a grumpy husband I would REALLY like to understand!

Hey Stargrazer I think stress plays a big role in my DH grumpy state, well that and it is a little his personality. I don't think my DH is depressed just tired and stressed.

Love him anyway I can get him though.

Robin

 

[Kama89]

Gris Gris and Kama - THANK YOU. I felt SO bad that I might have insulted someone unknowingly!

Awww... you're welcome.

Kama I appreciate your honesty. I think it's wonderful that you are so self-aware! I'm glad we all have different personalities or the world would be booor-ring; I just don't know how to handle it when it's borderline mean sometimes (in my situation here).

Borderline mean is a hard one to cope with I'm sure. I wish I had some "grumpy one" insight for you as to why that happens. Generally I seem to reserve my grump moments for family (which is SO not right!!) so I don't find myself in public situations a lot BUT.... on the few occasions I have "lost it" in public (twice in Disney, what's up with that? Sheesh!) and DH tried to intervene I have to admit, I did get angry with him. In all honesty, I think it was embarrassing for me more than anything. I think what it probably did, was pointed out the fact that I was acting inappropriately and in my emotional state at the time, I just wasn't able to cope with that properly. Sigh.

I sound like such a hag on this thread! Ha! I really am a nice person... well, at least I think I am...Hmmm.

 

[ashjohnson80]

yes.