Does anyone have a son that is not interested in/not good at sports?

[CanBeGrumpy]

My son, who is 8, has some coordination issues and low muscle tone, and as a result, he is just not very good at most sports. Honestly, he has always been more "intellectual" than "athletic", so I'm not sure he would even be interested in sports if he didn't have his physical issues. He likes tennis so we are going to start him in tennis lessons.

It just seems that most boys his age are so into sports that he has few boys to play with at recess. Most of the boys are off playing soccer while my son might find one or two kids (sometimes girls, although many are reluctant to play with boys at this age) to pal around with. Some days I see him all by himself on the playground (I am at the school picking up my younger child while my older child is at recess, so I catch a glimpse of him most days). I always feel so sad when I see this, but my son doesn't really seem to mind. I asked him what his favorite part of school was, and he said "math and recess", so I guess he is fine with whatever goes on at the playground.

I'm just afraid that as he gets older, and his peers get even MORE into sports, he will feel more "different". Is there anything I should be doing to help him fit in more, or just leave him to his own devices? My Dh and I don't care at all if he is an athlete or not, other than the possible effect it might have on his relationship to his peer group. So, if you have a son who is not good at or not interested in sports, did you try to get him interested, or did you just follow his lead and put him in activities more to his liking? (my son takes piano lessons and seems to really like it).

 

[hdecker]

Try Tae Kwon Do. It will help the muscle tone, you learn on your own level, it builds self-confidence, and the kids on the playground will think it's cool.

 

[antmaril]

My son is 18 and will graduate in June. He was never particularly interested in sports. His father and I do not enjoy sports, but we introduced him to several sports when he was younger to see if he had any interest. We didn't want to decide for him about the sports thing. We started with soccer - he HATED it. Gymnastics was next - didn't like it. Little League - he thought it was incredibly boring. He seemed to enjoy Karate for while, but that got old too. The only thing he was ever pretty good at was roller hockey. He did play on a league when he was about 12 for a couple of years. However, once the boys got older, it got very competitive and he never had the "killer" instinct.

He was a cub scout in elementary school and really enjoyed it. He is an honor student (3rd in his class of 350) and has been in the high school band for four years. He is the President of the National Honor Society and was recently voted "Most Likely to Succeed" by his senior class.

Not being good at sports has not had any negative affect on him whatsoever. My advice would be to give him the opportunity to try and if he doesn't like it, find out what he does enjoy and go with it. As far as friends go, my son seemed to gravitate towards other kids who didn't really enjoy sports too much.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'm sure he will find his way.

Good luck!

 

[Southern4sure]

Try Tae Kwon Do. It will help the muscle tone, you learn on your own level, it builds self-confidence, and the kids on the playground will think it's cool.

I agree. My 9 yr old really isnt into sports but he loves Tai Kwon Do. He also takes piano and loves it. My son likes soccer, but thats basically it. Not all boys like all sports. Just talk to him and ask him what he would be interested in. How about Swimming?

Southern4sure

 

[Chim Chiminy]

My son has ADHD and Bipolar, has had problems interacting with other kids. When he was younger it was noted that his small motor skills were delayed, he had some coordination issues.

He is eleven now and has never really been into group sports or team sports. He does much better in things like tennis or dance, which we think is great.
We tried soccer and t-ball, after the seasons were over that was it. He was not interested............
He is also very sensitive, so coaches yelling as a way of "encouraging" does nothing for him.
He did try out for soccer at school last fall, seemed excited about it, but the coach was a yeller and my son lost interest. Got a tummy ache and sat out the rest of tryouts. Needless to say, he did not make the team.

We know that other boys his age are really into football, baseball etc. so far it really hasn't been an issue.
I would just leave him to what he enjoys. If we all only liked vanilla ice cream, how boring a place the world would be!

My son is active, just in a different way.

 

[summerrluvv]

My son (6) has the same issues with the low tone and poor coordination. I signed him up for soccer this year. Last week was his first practice and he definately won't end up a soccer star! He seemed like he had fun though, so that's all that counts . I just hope the coach and other kids don't get frustrated with him, as he doesn't move very fast while trying to kick the ball.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Swimming is great for building muscle tone. I read an article that said most children drop out of organized sports by age 12. I wouldn't worry about it.

Lori

 

[jajuan]

That is a great idea. I have the same problem, except my son wants to play all sports because of peer pressure. He really stinks and has a horrible time when the coaches don't play him. In my opinion, the coaches aren't fair at this point because he doesn't have to "make" the team...so he has as much right to play as the other kids. My DS is an incredible student and I try and encourage him with that...telling him that it will get him further in life than any sport could. I wish it wasn't so hard for a boy to not be athletic. I support him in trying all the sports he can, but it is so hard to see him be teased and sit on the sideline. I would just give him all the encouragement and love that you can and he will be a great person because of it.

 

[Caradana]

I think whomever suggested swimming = brilliant idea.

It builds muscle tone, it's really quite independent, and it'd suit a kid who is OK being off by himself but still wants to be a part of a team.

 

[btass]

I have a friend who was frustrated because his son did not like sports. (My friend is VERY sports oriented) Well, he finally listened to his wife and they decided the son should be pushed toward whatever it was he liked to do, whether it was books or movies or whatever, rather than trying to make him do something he did not want to. It makes everyone happier in the home and builds self esteem in the son. He gets to know he is special in his own way and to know that he is good at something.

Ask your son what he wants to do and encourage him to do it! Everyone in your family will be happier!

 

[rhanditresmom]

My DS is 11 years old and has never shown much interest in sports. He is more interested in music...he takes drum lessons. He has played sports in the past...soccer, basketball and baseball but just doesn't really care for any of them. He has lots of friends...and most of them play sports. He isn't any worse off because of his lack of interest!

 

[Southern4sure]

I think whomever suggested swimming = brilliant idea.

It builds muscle tone, it's really quite independent, and it'd suit a kid who is OK being off by himself but still wants to be a part of a team.

I finally had a brilliant idea.....got to tell DH "told ya"...........

Southern4sure

 

[my3princes]

I have 3 ds. The oldest 9 has tried many sports and has never excelled, but never really stunk either. He just doesn't get into the sports that his peers do. He is really into cub scouts and began a bowling league last fall. He really likes bowling and really focuses on improving his score, not what the other kids are getting. He also loves to swim, but there are no swim teams around here. DS 7 seems pretty athletic and is trying different sports as opportunity arrises. He also enjoys cub scouts and swimming. Our youngest is 2 and he is an outside kids and hates to be indoors. I see him being the athelete in the family. DH and I were very active in sports in school, but sports didn't start until a much older age when we were kids. I advocate letting them try different things and someday they will find their nitch. Ds9 really enjoys volunteering at a local dairy farm and doesn't mind the work or smell. Maybe that will be his thing. As long as they are happy and confident in who they are you are doing your job.

 

[Deesknee]

okay, I'll probably get flamed for this, but here goes.
One of my sons is athletic the other isn't - same age. Adults tended to compare them. DS #2(not athletic) decided he wanted to take dance with his sister. We allowed, even though he was already picked on by his peers. The teasing got worse the older he got. He took 3 yrs of dance. His teacher used to tell him to tell anyone who teased him about dance, that when she was in NY taking dance, she personally knew many of the NY Jets to be taking dance. Apparently their coach believed it helped their balance.
DS is now in HS colorguard & has a solo. He still is teased by many of his peers, however he has real friends with common interests, that are more than happy to stick up for him IF it is ever neccessary. More importantly his is confident & self assured, something I wasn't sure was possible when he was trying to be "athletic" (We introduced him to soccor, basketball, tennis,golf,football, baseball)
I understand your concerns. Kids can be cruel. Grades 5,6 & 7 were awful for my DS. HS tends to wean out alot of the bullys.
One mistake we did make was to not report the bullying as soon as it happened. DS was insistant on handling it himself. It did escalate to a dangerous situation.
BTW, he always has someone to dance with at any given dance!
And, DS#1 decided he like colorguard also,as well as track, basketball. DD is in colorguard also. They have some truly amazing friends.
I couldn't be any prouder.

 

[FroggyinArk]

i had some physical problems as a child, a b irth defect in my ankles made it hard for me to run, etc, and was sposed to put me in a wheel chair by 18,, i never cared for sports, still dont watch foot b all baseball or basketball unless dd is playing btw i'm now 37 and still walking around,,, and still dont care for sports

 

[FreshTressa]

My son 7, does not like sports either. He takes gymnastics which uses more upper body, which he is comfortable with, but I worry he will get teased about it eventually. But, I think it helps keep him active.

He too, just does not have that competetive, killer instinct. He looks at the clovers when he is out in the field for baseball. He just is not interested. I worry too, but I guess they are who they are and we can't put them into a different mold that doesn't fit.

The best thing we can do is teach them to be self confident and to embrace the things they enjoy. Self confidence can go a long way!

 

[Disney Gator]

Something to think about might be refereeing sports. It's great if you enjoy being around sports and being outside. You don't have to be a great athlete to be a referee. With baseball and football it's hard to get into it while you are young, but you can referee youth league soccer at a fairly young age.

It's great exercise and it's a job where a kid can make some extra money. I personally know a lot of excellent referees who were never very good at actually playing the game, but they are great at officiating it. Anyway, might be something to look into.

 

[FINFAN]

My DS is always intrested in "playground" or neighborhood sports, but not the organized leagues and such. Coach/pitch little league bored him, he always needs to be part of the action. Cross country/track are his love. He is only in the 5th grade and there are no intramurals for his age at school and no running clubs for his age in our area. In the 7th grade he will finally be able to join in school. DS gym teacher says it is what DS lives for at school, doing laps! So, I figure it is the constant action, DS is his own competition, and he can pretty much do it on his own time...so it suits DS just fine. DS does NOT like confrontation, and the egos in the sports really turn him off. Maybe your DS would like to try something more individual? Don't get me wrong, my DS loves an audience and to be cheered on, but things like running, swimming, golf, tennis, archery( his 2nd favorite), tae kwon do,fishing, can be done with others, but are individual.

 

[Planogirl]

Our son doesn't mind playing sports just for fun but he can't stand organized sports. We've tried to get into team sports but it just never clicked so we gave up. He's very active though as long as he can do his own thing so to speak.

I'm going to look into swimming this summer and maybe gymnastics if he's not already too old at the age of 12.

 

[powellrj]

neither of my DS's liked sports. My oldest DS we signed up for every sport they offered and he just wasn't interested so we never pushed it. When he got older, his friends lost interest in sports and developed a love of cars! He loved cars from the time he was a small boy so he fit right in!

My middle DS hates sports. We signed him up for basketball and t-ball both of which he hated. As he got older he wrestled and boxed and went out for the swim team. These were things he never really liked either. When he got to middle school he found music and drama and chess. These are things he really enjoys and has found a group of friends that like these things too.

I would just let him try different things until he finds something he clicks with. Once he finds that thing, he will find others that enjoy them too!