Does anyone have a son that is not interested in/not good at sports?

[meandtheguys2]

Well basically what I was saying is that you have to learn sometime that life isn't non-competitive.

Competition is good. Of course if you take it to the extreme it's not healthy, but that's true of anything. Competition is what makes you excel. If you work hard but you get the same rewards as someone who slacks off all the time...what incentive is there for you to work so hard? There are non-competitive sports, should there be non-competitive school as well? Should every kid get an "A" no matter how well they do on their tests?

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe parents should shield their kids from reality until they turn 18 and then just throw them to the wolves.

This is not a pro-sports rant by the way. I love sports but not everyone does. I do think that kids should find something physical to do though. Exercise of some sort. There's hundreds of physical activities out there.

I believe that life is full of competition. You just don't always have to schedule it in my opinion. Kids are, IMO, competitive, because they are kids. Unless someone kills it, they want to excell in all that they do. And unless someone ruins it, they won't be the best at whatever they do. I think the non-comp games that schools are forced into are ridiculous, and you can bet I think a kid needs to work for an "A"! I purchased the most insipid book ever that stated that teachers shouldn't give out stars anymore, because other kids might feel bad. Foolishness reigns!

(I apoplogize for taking it out on you, but I am reviewing test material for the State and it is so stupid it is killing me!) There is such a need not to offend, and the bias rules are insane.

 

[FreshTressa]

You say kids are competetive, but my son was born not competetive. He does not seem to care one way or the other if he wins at sports. Now, monopoly is another story.

 

[meandtheguys2]

You say kids are competetive, but my son was born not competetive. He does not seem to care one way or the other if he wins at sports. Now, monopoly is another story.

Not sure if you mean me, but I meant that I believe all kids are competetive. It may not be sports, it might be academics. Or other talents. I don't think that all competition needs to an organized activity. If your little guy knows that he can get better at something, and if he doesn't he will be beat...that's competition.

My boys compete at EVERYTHING! Argh!!! And yes, they do learn to win (well, I hope) and to lose (also well, I hope!)

 

[chobie]

There are non-competitive sports, should there be non-competitive school as well? Should every kid get an "A" no matter how well they do on their tests?

Non-competitive sports provide an ALTERNATIVE to competitive sports. People put their kids in them to get exercise and learn social and team-playing skills. If you want your kids to compete you put them in a competitive sport. It's really quite simple, it's called CHOICE.

People can also choose to opt their children out of schools and home-school. There they don't have to be graded if the parent chooses not to, they just have to master the subjects.

Nobody here is anti-competition. We're just simply trying to come up with ways to keep our non-sports loving kids physically fit and perhaps spark an interest in a particular sport.

Yes there are some extremists who don't think there should be any competition ever. There are also extremely psychotic parents and coaches who will sacrifice children's health and well-being to feed their own bloated egos.

It's all about moderation and balance, don't you think?

One size does not fit all.

 

[Becky2005]

Try Tae Kwon Do. It will help the muscle tone, you learn on your own level, it builds self-confidence, and the kids on the playground will think it's cool.

I was going to suggest something like this...although my DS is just starting this week for Karate. I haven't decided if this is a good thing or bad thing. He's been asking since he has been 4 but I didn't want to plunk down the money for the uniform for him to tell me 6 weeks later after the session ended he didn't want to continue (we go through the Park District!), they now have one that the uniforms are optional instead of mandatory!

My DS also does fencing which he likes. My DS is NOT good at team sports (he wanted to copy his older sister so he did try the other sports but they lasted all of a few sessions! Ice skating, gymnastics, T-ball those were the ones we tried and then we saw fencing offered at the park district! He has stuck with that one so far). If they had field & track at this level, I would probably have signed DS up for that because I think he would like it.

My 4 soon to be 5 year old is going to be much harder to deal with because he DOES have the coordination motor issues and frankly doesn't care about sports.

 

[Becky2005]

Cross country/track are his love. He is only in the 5th grade and there are no intramurals for his age at school and no running clubs for his age in our area. In the 7th grade he will finally be able to join in school. DS gym teacher says it is what DS lives for at school, doing laps! So, I figure it is the constant action, DS is his own competition, and he can pretty much do it on his own time...so it suits DS just fine.

That sounds like my 8 year old!!! I had to laugh when he was in T-ball and the coach would have the kids run the bases in the beginning basically to get the wiggles out, tire them out so they would sit and listen for a few minutes! The few times they did it, they never really had a specific amount, just until the kids got tired and could come in for a drink and sit down, etc...- DS was out there still running around while everyone else had pooped out - they would finally have to tell him OK - YOU can STOP now!

I know I kept thinking - umm...hope they don't make them run laps in gym if they are misbehaving, DS would find NOT find that as punishment.

Unfortunately, as of right now I haven't found anything for his age for field/track so we shall see when he gets a little older if he still enjoys just running laps.

 

[maleficent1959]

In our society many people put a high value on boys being involved in organized sports, which puts a lot of pressure on the boys who have no interest or who have coordination issues.
T&B

We're already seeing this and my DS is only 4. Recently one if his friends had a b'day party (turning 5) and the theme was sports. His friend's t-ball coach was there, and another 4 year-old came right from his soccer practice. All these boys were running around being sporty boys and mine wasn't the least interested. He ran a bit and I showed him how to play horseshoes but that was about the extent of his sports participation. He preferred to swing with the only girl that came. One of the dads made some comments about my son's lack of interest in sports and it was very clear that he thought there was something wrong with DS. I was pretty PO'd, but just made some comment about how boring it would be if we all liked the same things. I don't like being put in a position where I have to defend who my son is to some schmucky guy who has too much testosterone.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I have 2 girls, one has low muscle tone and coordination delays. She takes Karate which has helped alot. She also joined a bowling league with a friend who is a boy who doesn't play any other sports.

 

[Pam]

You could be talking about my soon to be 17 yr. old son!!

He's not at all into football, baseball, or soccer - but he is on the JV Golf Team.

He is also an Eagle Scout and has hundreds of miles of hiking and backpacking logged. In fact, 2 years ago he did 10 days of backpacking in New Mexico. He also swims and whitewater rafts with the Troop.

He is also an avid archer, hunter, and fisherman.

Additionally he plays the trombone in the HS Jazz Band (by audition only) and sings in the Chorus. He was asked by the music teacher to join the Chamber Singers (again by audition) but couldn't fit it into his schedule.

Recently some of the football boys were poking fun of him for not being involved more in sports. My son shot back at them, "I just got back from camping on a frozen lake on 15 inches of ice in -20 degree weather for 3 days - do you think you could do that? Plus, at all of the games, I just see you sitting on the bench - so what makes you better than me??" Guess you know that they shut their traps pretty darn fast!

 

[Rock'n Robin]

My DS will be 7 in June. He loves soccer but he isn't as good at it as some of the other boys in his age group. Some of them could be on travel now! He is the first one I'd think of trying out for travel (the girls are both in dance and couldn't swing it time-wise) and I don't think he'd make it, at least not this year. But we kept him in indoor all winter and now outdoor starts on the 16th.
We are also trying coach-pitch. He is small for his age and wears glasses, so dad is asst. coaching to make sure someone working with him has patience in case he has trouble hitting the ball. We'll see how it goes.
DD#1 lasted through grade 6 in soccer, now plays volleyball in fall plus dance. She did one year of basketball and softball--hated them. DD#2 did 2 years of softball, it was OK but boring for her. She has played 2 years of basketball and really likes it--she'll never be a star shooter, but she's great at defense. I want her to try volleyball this summer but DD#1 says "that's MY sport!" I don't mind if they quit sports because it's one less thing to drive to. Right now DS and DD#2 are both in soccer.
DD#2 also swam for 2 years in an outdoor swim league at our local pool. But things get competitive around here! The dedicated swimmers swim all winter long for the Y team, most giving up all other activities. DD#2 wasn't that dedicated as to quit dance and basketball, so she was never in the first heat or getting any good times. This is the first year she can do the musical theatre camp from 9-12 each day (with her sister) and she chose that over swimming. She could do both if she practiced at 8 with the older kids, but there is no heater and the water runs pretty darn cold that early, so DH said it was her choice.
DS has no body fat (well, almost no body fat, you can count his ribs) and can only last in that pool for about 15 minutes before his lips turn blue, so swimming is out for him!
Robin M.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You say kids are competetive, but my son was born not competetive. He does not seem to care one way or the other if he wins at sports. Now, monopoly is another story.

And my 14yo wouldn't even care if he won at Monopoly. I honestly wish he would care about winning sometimes! That's a different thread, though...

T&B

 

[Tigger&Belle]

We're already seeing this and my DS is only 4. Recently one if his friends had a b'day party (turning 5) and the theme was sports.

It's too bad, but this will continue for your son for many years. Of course if your son were a girl it wouldn't even be an issue, even though being physically active is just as important to a girl's health.

Maybe your son can find something that he enjoys doing. My son tried things but we never really found that sport that he liked. I think that he wants to try a self defense type class, which would would be good. He is in to making computer "techno" music and is learning to play guitar. Kind of noisy activities, though.

T&B

 

[Kallison]

DS 14 is from a family of sporty siblings and cousins, Grandmom is in our high school athletic hall of fame. Nobody every pushed him, tried it didn't like it. He tried out for Jazz Band, loves hanging with the band kids. He did Ski Club this year and progressed to black diamond trails by the end of the season. I figure skiing is something he will always do into adulthood, unlike football or soccer. He is a great kid, just got nominated for NJHS. I'm glad my super athletic husband never put any pressure on him.

 

[Disney Gator]

I keep seeing on this thread that people are defining "sports" as only baseball, basektball, football, or soccer. All these other things are sports too. Swimming, golf, skiing, cross country, martial arts, and fifty other things. There's more to sports than just team sports.

If your kids don't like soccer or baseball or some other team sport, there are many other choices for physical activity.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I keep seeing on this thread that people are defining "sports" as only baseball, basektball, football, or soccer. All these other things are sports too. Swimming, golf, skiing, cross country, martial arts, and fifty other things. There's more to sports than just team sports.

If your kids don't like soccer or baseball or some other team sport, there are many other choices for physical activity.

Try rereading the thread because I'm not seeing that at all! I've read many different suggestings, from Tae Kwon Do, to swimming, to bowling and dance, and several more. I don't think that anyone will argue that an active lifestyle is important and is what is so lacking with many children, adults and teens.

I was doing a few errends yesterday after school hours (I'm usually at home at that time). I was at a shopping area and two teen boys walked by, probably on their way from school, each with a large bag of potato chips in their hand, munching away. So gross the way they were stuffing their mouths with the size bag I would feed my family. Of course I didn't know those boys, but most kids head home to sit in front of the tv or video games.

T&B

 

[golfgal]

I keep seeing on this thread that people are defining "sports" as only baseball, basektball, football, or soccer. All these other things are sports too. Swimming, golf, skiing, cross country, martial arts, and fifty other things. There's more to sports than just team sports.

If your kids don't like soccer or baseball or some other team sport, there are many other choices for physical activity.

Ok, as much as I LOVE golf (OUR COURSE OPENS TODAY!!!) it is not a sport to play to get "exercise". Yes, you can walk the course and that is good, but it just isn't something where you are going to gain a great cardio workout. HOwever, it is a great game for flexibility and fun and something everyone can do from the time they walk until the time they die. We have this guy at our course that plays 3 times a week, he takes a cart, plops his oxygen tank in the the basket of the cart and off he goes!

 

[Sleepy]

Recently some of the football boys were poking fun of him for not being involved more in sports. My son shot back at them, "I just got back from camping on a frozen lake on 15 inches of ice in -20 degree weather for 3 days - do you think you could do that? Plus, at all of the games, I just see you sitting on the bench - so what makes you better than me??" Guess you know that they shut their traps pretty darn fast!

You should hear my son's come back when he is poked fun at for taking ballet. Something to the effect of how they can only dream of placing their hands on a girl when she is wearing only undrwear and her parents don't have a problem with it, but you poor football playing guys....all you can do is pat guys on the butt all day. Oh, and it appears we BOTH wear tights during practice.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Ok, as much as I LOVE golf (OUR COURSE OPENS TODAY!!!) it is not a sport to play to get "exercise". Yes, you can walk the course and that is good, but it just isn't something where you are going to gain a great cardio workout. HOwever, it is a great game for flexibility and fun and something everyone can do from the time they walk until the time they die. We have this guy at our course that plays 3 times a week, he takes a cart, plops his oxygen tank in the the basket of the cart and off he goes!

We play 18, 2 or 3 times a week, and that is plenty...thank you very much! Of course I live in hilly country, and I don't carry my bag any more! I just started playing a few years ago, and love it, although I am not awesome at it! I see my share of snowmen!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't golf, so can't give any personal experience, but I know that my BIL wore my sister's pedometer and logged lots of steps while golfing. Of course it took awhile to get those steps, so it's not like taking a brisk walk, but he otherwise would have been home watching tv.

T&B

 

[golfgal]

It is a lot of walking, but since you walk a couple hundred yard, stop, wait, hit, walk another hundred yards, stop, wait, putt, it isn't a good cardiowork out, although, I do know some people that speed golf-they take a 3 wood, 6 iron and putter and run to every ball. I golf pretty much every day during the summer and I WISH it were a better workout.