Does anyone else get annoyed at people calling you "Honey" or "Babe"

[mhsjax]

While I understand you feel it relaxes people, I sure hope you're from the south or somewhere where using endearments on strangers is considered appropriate. I assume that if you are not, you would be smart enough to adjust accordingly. My dad was in the hospital recently and got called sweetheart by a nurse and was LIVID! To him, it was a condesending insult and, since he was lying helpless in a hospital bed, he did not handle it well. Put it this way, a feeble old man doesn't want to be called one. Seriously, it was a setback for him and could have had horrible consequences for his health.

Could you please explain how being called a name (expecially a term of endearment) could result in a setback or horrible consequences for his health.

Lord help, this is why I don't work with the public.

 

[mhsjax]

Just because someone doesn't like people calling them sweetie, honey, dear, etc. does not mean they're not a nice person. You're from the south, it's normal for you. Northern people, not so much. It's the same with tea. Southern people usually like it sweet. Northern people usually don't. Neither is wrong, just a difference of opinion.

IMHO it comes off as mean. I see people here getting almost irate when called a name. And for the record, I hate sweet tea. And how do you explain Maryland, everyone here says that Hon is a normal thing.

So glad I live in the south. Sorry, but that is the way I feel.

 

[Cornhusk]

While I understand you feel it relaxes people, I sure hope you're from the south or somewhere where using endearments on strangers is considered appropriate. I assume that if you are not, you would be smart enough to adjust accordingly. My dad was in the hospital recently and got called sweetheart by a nurse and was LIVID! To him, it was a condesending insult and, since he was lying helpless in a hospital bed, he did not handle it well. Put it this way, a feeble old man doesn't want to be called one. Seriously, it was a setback for him and could have had horrible consequences for his health.

So, whose fault is it? The nurse who said it with no intention of harm or your father who flew into a rage without thinking of things calmly?

 

[mhsjax]

I admit I am am guilty of using those terms.

I generally use the terms "My friend" and "Dear". I usually use these terms for patients of mine as a way to make the conversation prior to their surgery more casual and to try to relax people a bit. When I have to take a long health history and explain all of their anesthesia to them, some people will get *very* nervous. So I try my best to keep things semi-casual and tone down the formality of the conversation so the patients feel more comfortable. I talk about their hobbies and cut a couple of cheesy jokes to try to make the patient more at ease about the situation. Plus, If I am doing Cataracts, I may have more than a dozen patients to go through that day! Remembering names are a bit tougher in that situation.

"Alright, my friend, any more questions about your anesthesia?"
"Ok Dear, I am going to give you a mask that will make you feel very sleepy very fast. Pick a sweet dream!"

For a child I may use terms like Sweetheart, Buddy, Dear and Little Man (or Lady). (or for spanish children "Mi Vida") I truly use it to attempt to make people calmer and more comfortable.

Quite a few patients use the same terms back toward me. I get called Sweetheart, Mama, and Honey.... most often by older women.

And it makes me a lot more comfortable. I have noticed that when I do to a Dr's office, a lot of the staff just arent as nice. They are so busy being "professional" that they come of as Witches. (I wanted to use the rhyming word) Anyway, I bet most people would freak because right before my Hysterectomy my Gyn(male, by the way) Gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek and looked at my hubby and said don't worry we will take good care of her, and told me everything would be fine. It made me feel so much better.

 

[alexandria674]

IMHO it comes off as mean. I see people here getting almost irate when called a name. And for the record, I hate sweet tea. And how do you explain Maryland, everyone here says that Hon is a normal thing.

So glad I live in the south. Sorry, but that is the way I feel.

While I do think that it could be a regional thing, I also think it is also due to someone's preference. I live in the West and have been called "Hun" or "Sweetie" and even "Darlin" but while it takes me back a bit because I am not used to hearing it at first, I am not really bothered by it.

 

[fkj2]

This is funny. The folks that would be so offended by these innocuous terms of endearment must be really over the top at the thought of needing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Why on earth should it bother you, Leicester people often call you me duck (to both sexes) Corby/Scotland call you hen. Its just a term of endearment why sweat over something that small.

 

[mhsjax]

While I do think that it could be a regional thing, I also think it is also due to someone's preference. I live in the West and have been called "Hun" or "Sweetie" and even "Darlin" but while it takes me back a bit because I am not used to hearing it at first, I am not really bothered by it.

And really that is fine, We all have preferences, it is just the attitude with which some people express their preferences. I don't use these expressions except with my kid's friends and with my very dear friends, Heck my next door neighbor even tells me "love you" before she hangs up and we are not best friends. Anyway, I don't use those terms because I know some people don't care for them and that is their right to do so, I just don't understand people why get so worked up over it.

 

[LaurenLC]

I'm originally from the south, where this is considered the social norm. While it doesn't bother me much in social situations, it drives me UP THE WALL when people do it at work….. Especially when they are asking a favor of you. Maybe I am being too sensitive, but I find it slightly degrading. I think it takes a bit of ‘professionalism’ out of the equation.

 

[Rock it Dog]

Hmm. It's interesting reading some of the responses on this topic. I suppose I'm glad they aren't terms I tend to use since the reaction to them can be so varied. LOL! When on the receiving end of statements like that, most of the time I don't give it a lot of thought. It will sometimes rub me the wrong way on occasion, but in those cases I think it's an underlying intent that just doesn't feel genuine, natural, etc. On occasion I'll hear it from women considerably younger than myself. That always strikes me as a little bit... curious.

 

[alexandria674]

And really that is fine, We all have preferences, it is just the attitude with which some people express their preferences. I don't use these expressions except with my kid's friends and with my very dear friends, Heck my next door neighbor even tells me "love you" before she hangs up and we are not best friends. Anyway, I don't use those terms because I know some people don't care for them and that is their right to do so, I just don't understand people why get so worked up over it.

Honestly,I don't understand what the big deal is either. I mean, I would understand if a boss or sleezy guy said those endearments in a skeezy way but if it is just someone at Taco Bell who didn't mean any harm with it in any way is nothing to be all that bothered about.

 

[mhsjax]

I do have to admit, that I have never had anyone younger than me use those terms. It would probably make me think twice but no biggie. I am used to older people doing it, and I have had some older nurses do it while I was in the hospital, that didn't bother me a bit, in fact I like it. I found it somewhat calming. Nothing like and all business nurse while you are in the hospital. Just makes it even more colder and sterile to me.

 

[starrzone]

I used to be a tour guide at a historical site, and once during the course of a tour, I addressed a mixed group of men and women as "you guys". Afterwards, I got "talked to" by one of the women about how this term is offensive to some and that it's not a good to use. Who knew?! I mean, it might be a bit informal, but I never knew some people took offense to it! I was a lot more careful after that.

 

[mickeysaver]

I work in a pediatric medical office and I say those sorts of phrases to moms, dads, and grandparents all of the time. I live in the suburban Atlanta area, so it's not as uncommon down here to say these things when you feel close to the people that you are speaking with. It's far from insincere when it exits my mouth. If you are a new mom, most of the time, there will be a honey that slips into the conversation somewhere. If I like you, most of the time there is a sweetie, honey, darlin' or some other term of endearment that gets thrown into the conversation somewhere too. It's just part of being raised in the south and our conversational language.

To those of you that don't like it, I am sorry. I have never had a parent voice any displeasure with me using these terms when referring to them. I can usually tell who I need to be totally professional with and who I can be real with.

 

[MM27]

I don't mind the occassional honey or sweetie although I wouldn't do it, but I can honestly say I've never been called babe except by my boyfriend. That would be really freaky. There was a guy that I went off on one time because he made some pssst pssst sound at me when I walked by and I had to explain to him that that is not the way to get my attention. I think he was shocked that I said something but his friends were laughing at him.

 

[Ember]

I can't imagine getting so upset over something like this. I just can't. I don't mind a bit, unless the term is being used sarcastically or meanly.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

That is very condecending. When people do it to me I feel like they are talking down to me (even though that may not be their intention). Its like when African American men are called "boy". (back from the slave days). Its very insulting.

Sorry, nothing like it in the least.

Here in the south, you hear honey and sweetie alot. It doesn't bother me in the least. I call all the kids at my DSs' schools that because I can't remember all their names. To me there is nothing more comforting than hearing an elderly lady call me honey.


Do you mean that in NYC they don't have any more gum snapping waitresses calling everyone hon?

 

[m&m's mom]

I have to admit I am known to be a "high maintenance" kind of person by people that know me ( a lot of improper things bother me) but "Hun", "Honey", "Sugar" are definitely not words that I find offensive. Quite the contrary, I think they are sweet.
In full disclosure, I have lived in Texas for over 20 years.

 

[Lou Holtz]

I actually hate being called "sir". It makes me uncomfortable for some reason.

 

[Pancakes]

Calling people 'honey' or 'dear' is annoying. I can't do it.
For my school play, in my lines, I call the lead 'honey' twice. I don't think it's offensive...but I just feel awkward saying it.