Do your kids do this or is mine just weird?

[jazzielady]

My dd14, who should know better by now, constantly uses the word "how" where "why" is more appropriate when asking a question. For example, "How can you like pork chops?", or "I don't know how she doesn't like Italian food!" (mostly it's about liking/disliking something).

It drives me nuts, but if you tell me its new kids-speak, I'll shut up and quit nagging. She must know how to use the words properly, as she does well in English class in school.

I know, with a 14 yr. old girl, I have far bigger battles to look forward to, but this just bugs me to no end!

 

[punkin]

Maybe she means "how", as in "how can you possibly?"

I don't see this as bad English. It seems perfectly correct to me.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Maybe she means "how", as in "how can you possibly?"

I don't see this as bad English. It seems perfectly correct to me.

This.

"Why can you like pork chops" doesn't make sense, and "Why do you like pork chops" doesn't have the same meaning. I'm going with your DD on this one .

The second case, though, I agree is incorrect. It should be "I don't know why she doesn't like Italian food!" or "I don't know how she can't like Italian food" (although that's a double negative...)

 

[Scurvy]

This.

"Why can you like pork chops" doesn't make sense, and "Why do you like pork chops" doesn't have the same meaning. I'm going with your DD on this one .

My thoughts exactly. "How can you (possibly) like pork chops?!" means something completely different than "Why do you like pork chops?" does. What she's saying makes sense to me. I can't think of a better way to convey that sentiment.

 

[Spinning]

rather have that than the word LIKE! My daugher uses like um every other word is like um ya know like um....UGH! Makes me crazy!

 

[msjprincess]

"How can you like pork chops?"

What do you think the sentence should be?

 

[Magpie]

Dunno if it's teen-speak, but I know I use "how" in sentences like that sometimes...

"How can you stand to EAT that?"

"I don't know how such a smart kid can be so clueless."

 

[punkin]

This.

"Why can you like pork chops" doesn't make sense, and "Why do you like pork chops" doesn't have the same meaning. I'm going with your DD on this one .

The second case, though, I agree is incorrect. It should be "I don't know why she doesn't like Italian food!" or "I don't know how she can't like Italian food" (although that's a double negative...)

"How can she not like Italian food?" sounds perfect to me. Maybe I'm stuck in teen world despite my age.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I think it sounds like perfectly normal teenage speak. However, this is from a mother that has given up correcting her DD10. Her response to everything is "Seriously?!"

 

[zippitydoo]

Dunno if it's teen-speak, but I know I use "how" in sentences like that sometimes...

"How can you stand to EAT that?"

"I don't know how such a smart kid can be so clueless."

I'm the same way. I see nothing wrong in the way the OP DD speaks

 

[Frantasmic]

This pattern of speech shows the teen-centric viewpoint more than anything, as other posters have indicated. I would guess it is also used with more intimate audiences (family and friends) where it would have more of a "gossip" tone to it. The parentheticals are the implied emotions of the speaker:

I don't know how that person can wear red sandals (when I never would).

How can you like pork chops (when I don't).

I don't know how she doesn't like French fries (when I do).

How can you not think Twilight is the best movie every made (when I do).

It's all relational to the teen's wants and likes and how that world is focused on themselves.

 

[jazzielady]

This makes a lot of sense. Thanks!

This pattern of speech shows the teen-centric viewpoint more than anything, as other posters have indicated. I would guess it is also used with more intimate audiences (family and friends) where it would have more of a "gossip" tone to it. The parentheticals are the implied emotions of the speaker:

I don't know how that person can wear red sandals (when I never would).

How can you like pork chops (when I don't).

I don't know how she doesn't like French fries (when I do).

How can you not think Twilight is the best movie every made (when I do).

It's all relational to the teen's wants and likes and how that world is focused on themselves.

 

[Sparx]

This pattern of speech shows the teen-centric viewpoint more than anything, as other posters have indicated. I would guess it is also used with more intimate audiences (family and friends) where it would have more of a "gossip" tone to it. The parentheticals are the implied emotions of the speaker:

I don't know how that person can wear red sandals (when I never would).

How can you like pork chops (when I don't).

I don't know how she doesn't like French fries (when I do).

How can you not think Twilight is the best movie every made (when I do).

It's all relational to the teen's wants and likes and how that world is focused on themselves.

I don't think its teen centric but I do think its definitely demonstrating that they use their own likes/dislikes as the basis of comparison. The above sentences are correct. When we talk about our likes/dislikes or the likes/dislikes of others we really only have ourselves to compare to. (I like pizza, why doesn't she? etc) and the way that we say this is:
I don't know how she can't like pizza when I can. But our speech especially in informal settings we tend to omit unnecessary clauses and words (unstated you for example) and we know that if you're amazed that someone doesn't like pizza, that means that you do like pizza so we don't need you to tell us.

 

[kristilew]

I believe that the use of "how" as you describe is derived from the older, more formal "How is it that...." So, "How is it that you don't like pork chops?"

Not that your DD is making that linguistic leap of logic, but that it has evolved over time to be perfectly acceptable in American English to abbreviate down to "how can you like...." Perfectly acceptable being the operative words here.

 

[punkin]

I believe that the use of "how" as you describe is derived from the older, more formal "How is it that...." So, "How is it that you don't like pork chops?"

Not that your DD is making that linguistic leap of logic, but that it has evolved over time to be perfectly acceptable in American English to abbreviate down to "how can you like...." Perfectly acceptable being the operative words here.

I agree. It is perfectly acceptable usage. I also can't quite see why it's particularly teen-aged language. I think it is perfectly acceptable for adults as well.

 

[bumbershoot]

Sounds rhetorical to me.

The person she's talking to or about could give 18 million reasons for it, but it's never going to really answer the question.

Like...in DH's 20s he was living in Singapore. And his boss took him to some place where they were drinking, UGH, cobra blood. DH had some.

To me, "how could you have done that" will ALWAYS be a question for me. Doesn't matter what hubby replies...it was the thing to do at that moment, I was young and stupid, I was interested in it, I was omnivorous (nearly carnivorous) at the time anyway, so what's the difference, etc etc etc etc.....those responses answer the *why*, but they will never satisfy my "how could you do that" question.


Now..."how did/do you do that" is different. "How did you drink cobra blood?" is answered with "it was put into a glass and I drank it very quickly. But that's not "how COULD you".


Now if only I could explain the "how did" vs "how could" thing to DS! He asks a "how" question, I give him a good answer, and he asks me "how" again. Aughhhhh. Don't know if he's just not using the right word, if I'm answering in the way he needs, or if he's just zoning out...but it's making me crazy.

Do 6 year olds ask rhetorical questions?

 

[thinkerbell]

My dd14, who should know better by now, constantly uses the word "how" where "why" is more appropriate when asking a question. For example, "How can you like pork chops?", or "I don't know how she doesn't like Italian food!" (mostly it's about liking/disliking something).

It drives me nuts, but if you tell me its new kids-speak, I'll shut up and quit nagging. She must know how to use the words properly, as she does well in English class in school.

I know, with a 14 yr. old girl, I have far bigger battles to look forward to, but this just bugs me to no end!

How is there something wrong with this? I can't see how anything is wrong with it. How else would you expect her to say it?

Seriously, when I read your post I thought that I had been using the word how the wrong way for years and just didn't know it.

 

[jenseib]

I don't see anything wrong either. LOL! I guess I'm a hip teen in my 40's.
My DH always make fun of me and my speak though. I always say "on accident". He says it's wrong. I forget what he says is right, but to me, my way is how I always said it. Even on Easter we had this discussion with my family. My sisters agreed, that they say it the same as I, and so did our cousins. My one Aunt, though, who was a teacher, did say it was not the "proper" way to say it. I think she siad you were supposed to say "It was an accident", rather than "I did it on accident." Sounds almost the same to me!

 

[punkin]

I don't see anything wrong either. LOL! I guess I'm a hip teen in my 40's.
My DH always make fun of me and my speak though. I always say "on accident". He says it's wrong. I forget what he says is right, but to me, my way is how I always said it. Even on Easter we had this discussion with my family. My sisters agreed, that they say it the same as I, and so did our cousins. My one Aunt, though, who was a teacher, did say it was not the "proper" way to say it. I think she siad you were supposed to say "It was an accident", rather than "I did it on accident." Sounds almost the same to me!

I thought it was "I did it by accident" or "I did it accidentally"

...but really, does it really matter? I suppose in formal writing it would, but in everyday conversation? Go right ahead and say it the way you like.

I wonder if it's a regionalism?

 

[jenseib]

I thought it was "I did it by accident" or "I did it accidentally"

...but really, does it really matter? I suppose in formal writing it would, but in everyday conversation? Go right ahead and say it the way you like.

I wonder if it's a regionalism?

Yes I think that is how he said it. LOL!

I love your signature that says you are raising a pole dancer. My DD can shimmy (and climb) the pole in our basement (for support, no mom doesn't pole dance, LOL). And sadly she likes to walk around in her underwear and high heals too.