Do you think you should support family, no matter what?

[Tinkmom75]

My comment is on the niece because it it close to my heart as I was a young single mother. I was on state aid for 1 year. During that time, I worked fulltime (with exception of right after baby was born like 6 wks). I also went to school full time and didn't renew state aid when it came time to do so. I hated foodstamps and Wic. I also knew I wanted to be a contributing member to society. I went out rarely. I didn't expect my parents to support me financially, I lived in subsidized housing. I wanted to make my own decisions and choices. It was a yucky place, but young ladies can do it. It is hard work, but if you have a baby then grow up and take care of yourself and stop depending on everyone else to do it. I do get angry when people make no effort to support themselves. I definately would not support them financially. It may be a bit of a tough opinion, but sometimes people do enable family members. My family supported me by babysitting when I was at college or work or the occasional weekend out and I mean rare. I did have to pay a person outside the family for a while during night classes.

 

[tazdev3225]

I am a mother and I will support my kids no matter what they do. My DS was 15 when his girlfriend got pregnant. I was hurt but I stood by him and paid for his lawyer on several occasions so he could stay in my DGS's life. He is now married, has a good job and 2 beautiful kids. He is also a great dad and a wonderful man. If I had walked away from him I don't think he would be in the position he is in today.
My youngest DD has 1 child, is not married but lives with her fiancee. She applied for welfare because they have both been out of work for over a year. He gets 1 day a week if he is lucky, he is a cement contractor and there is no work. She has always worked 2 jobs but there is nothing right now. She has gone back to school to try and better herself. I was raised to believe that welfare is for deadbeats and losers. This is not always true and I support her decision. Welfare also has strict guidelines and she can not stay on it indefinitely. A good friend works for the welfare department.
My other DD has 3 kids and lives with her fiancee. They both work, have bought a house together and barely make ends meet. I watch my grandkids while she works. I also pay for my DGD to go to scouts and dance, and play sports. I have done the same for my DS's kids.
I am NOT an enabler. I am a realist who sees day to day how my kids have suffered in this economy. I am in a position to help so I do. I also get paid back out of their income taxes every year. I raised my kids going to church, involved and sports and scouts. I do not always agree with their choices but I will never turn my back on them.
OP if you do not want your family in your life because you do not agree with their lifestyle that is your choice. I cannot do that. I always hope for the best but accept that life isn't perfect.

Flame away because I know that my opinion is contrary to popular opinion but feel that mothers get a bad rap for supporting their kids.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...Flame away because I know that my opinion is contrary to popular opinion but feel that mothers get a bad rap for supporting their kids.

Sounds like you have responsible kids who are going through a tough time. Read the OP's post. Not the same. The OP's reported family "issues" are nightmares compared to yours.

Again, we all see things like through the lens of our experience. You say that you would support your kids "no matter what they do." Well, that is your choice. Some parents even support their children after committing horrible crimes against humanity...

 

[Tinkmom75]

I am a mother and I will support my kids no matter what they do. My DS was 15 when his girlfriend got pregnant. I was hurt but I stood by him and paid for his lawyer on several occasions so he could stay in my DGS's life. He is now married, has a good job and 2 beautiful kids. He is also a great dad and a wonderful man. If I had walked away from him I don't think he would be in the position he is in today.
My youngest DD has 1 child, is not married but lives with her fiancee. She applied for welfare because they have both been out of work for over a year. He gets 1 day a week if he is lucky, he is a cement contractor and there is no work. She has always worked 2 jobs but there is nothing right now. She has gone back to school to try and better herself. I was raised to believe that welfare is for deadbeats and losers. This is not always true and I support her decision. Welfare also has strict guidelines and she can not stay on it indefinitely. A good friend works for the welfare department.
My other DD has 3 kids and lives with her fiancee. They both work, have bought a house together and barely make ends meet. I watch my grandkids while she works. I also pay for my DGD to go to scouts and dance, and play sports. I have done the same for my DS's kids.
I am NOT an enabler. I am a realist who sees day to day how my kids have suffered in this economy. I am in a position to help so I do. I also get paid back out of their income taxes every year. I raised my kids going to church, involved and sports and scouts. I do not always agree with their choices but I will never turn my back on them.
OP if you do not want your family in your life because you do not agree with their lifestyle that is your choice. I cannot do that. I always hope for the best but accept that life isn't perfect.

Flame away because I know that my opinion is contrary to popular opinion but feel that mothers get a bad rap for supporting their kids.

There are big differences between OP's niece and your children. OP's niece was a legal adult when her child was born as was I, but still young. I would fully supports a child (not legal adult or not HS graduate). Your other children are working to better themselves, but have been victims of the economy and it is not their typical behavior to be lazy or not try to better themselves. Big differences, and kudos to your children for trying to become better. Welfare is to help people get on their feet in hard times and is not meant to be a forever thing where people just keep having kids to stay on it. I did know people who did that.

 

[luvsJack]

Yeah, both on my side and my wife's. I think that we all read this topic through the lens of our personal experiences. Those who have really toxic people in their families may react more strongly than those who have people with problems, but who don't spread their problems like diseases - infecting everything that they touch.

Sadly, we have toxic relatives - really toxic. The good news, we have so many good friends and other family members who are wonderful (or, at least, are not horrible ) that our lives are still full of love...

You are so right, we all do see these things from our own life experiences. If someone's bad choices were seriously effecting me or my family directly, then I probably would cut off the relationship. Which, from the sounds of it, was the case in your family.

OTOH, there are many different levels of family involvment. I think you can be civil to someone at a family function without accepting thier life choices. And I think that if that person asked for assistance in getting help with their problems, a family member should give them that assistance.

None of the three examples given by the OP would give me reason to cut someone off as my family member, except maybe the abuser and then like I said, if he reached out to get help I would help him get it. That is unless he began to be abusive to me or my children, then all of that would have to stop. Not because I love him any less, but for my own safety and that of my children.

Or, take for example, a family member who is on drugs and has brought their addiction into my family environment, I may cut off any direct involvment with that person from my family/children. But if that same person called and asked me to get them into rehab, I would certainly go and give my help.

 

[tazdev3225]

I should have added that my children were legal adults except for my DS with his first child. I was in a hurry when I typed my reply. I also know what it is like for your family to turn their back on your child and you because of a bad decision. I have barely spoken to my bro and sil since my DGS was born because they didn't approve of what my DS did.
Each person must decide what is best for them but I will stick with my family and support them no matter what they do including "heinous acts against humanity". I do not have to agree with them or like what they do to be supportive. I have had similar incidents happen in my family and have opted to be supportive. Flame away.

 

[kt_mom]

I should have added that my children were legal adults except for my DS with his first child. I was in a hurry when I typed my reply. I also know what it is like for your family to turn their back on your child and you because of a bad decision. I have barely spoken to my bro and sil since my DGS was born because they didn't approve of what my DS did.
Each person must decide what is best for them but I will stick with my family and support them no matter what they do including "heinous acts against humanity". I do not have to agree with them or like what they do to be supportive. I have had similar incidents happen in my family and have opted to be supportive. Flame away.

There comes a point when its no longer really being supportive but enabling the person to continue making bad decisions.

My parents are being supportive of my sister but in reality all they are doing is allowing her to continue carrrying on like a teenager instead of facing up to reality and the choices she has made. Why should she stress about making more than just enough to pay her cell phone bill and partying money when they pay for everything for her daughter and give her a free place to live. Oh excuse me, she does pay them about $50 a month to stay there. Not even enough to cover the groceries and toilet paper and laundry detergent that she uses.

She can hang out for the fun stuff with her daughter and then go out and party the rest of the time. If her daughter wakes up from a bad dream, mommy isn't there. When her daughter gets up Sunday morning her mommy may not have even come home the night before.

Sometimes its just time to quit being "supportive" and put your foot down. If your family can't be honest with you about your behavior then who can? It's one thing to be civil to someone at a family function and another to enable the bad behavior. babysitting the child of someone who does the bare minimum as a parent so they can go out and "have a break" is ridiculous. Being on welfare because you just want to be a stay at home mom is ridiculous.

The OP niece needs to get up off her lazy butt and get a job and support these children that she decided to have. At some point its time to quit feeling sorry for yourself and make your own life better and quit waiting for someone else to do it for you. I run out of sympathy at some point. I hear all the time how I should feel sorry for my sister she got pregnant so young. I was older, I was married I planned it out. So what, my niece is now almost 8 years old it's time for my sister to get up off her lazy selfish butt and take care of herself and her child. You don't buy yourself a $300 cell phone when you don't even provide money to help buy clothes for your own kid.

And in my case it does affect me and my child because it affects the relationship my parents are able to have with my daughter and the things that they are able to do with her because they are basically raising another child.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Sometimes you just have to realize that turning your back on someone can be the best thing for them. My BIL is the sorriest thing I have ever met. He's was a sore spot in my relationship with my dh and inlaws for years. I told my dh the first time I met his brother when BIL was just 17 that the kid was an alcoholic. DH ..bf at the time..told me to mind by business. MIL and FIL (divorced ) treated this kid like he was 10. Fastforward 10yrs and he's a heroin addict who is stealing from his Dad and Grandmother, in and out of jail....but everyone expects me to invite him to Thanksgiving and pretend like nothing is wrong. Thankfully after YEARS of this nonsense...with me and FIL wife being the only ones saying to stop enabling this... everyone realized this couldn't go on. They let him sit in jail. They didn't take his calls. They let his truck get repo'd. Since he got out he's been living in a half way house. HOPEFULLY, he'll do better. He's been sober for almost a year. MIL doesn't give him money or a place to live. DH talks to him every few months but hasn't seen him. I hope someday he can be an Uncle...but he has a long way to go to prove to me that he's worth it.

 

[Tinkmom75]

I have seen very much laziness with my SIL's. I'm talking 37yo who lived with us and said she'd pay rent wouldn't get a job because she got pregnant by her canadian BF sat around on my couch watching TV all day while my DH and I went to work and paid for everything. Her parents enabled her when she was younger and now she still expects it. She lives with her DBF's Dad in Canada now and abandoned her teenage twins.

 

[luvsJack]

There comes a point when its no longer really being supportive but enabling the person to continue making bad decisions.

My parents are being supportive of my sister but in reality all they are doing is allowing her to continue carrrying on like a teenager instead of facing up to reality and the choices she has made. Why should she stress about making more than just enough to pay her cell phone bill and partying money when they pay for everything for her daughter and give her a free place to live. Oh excuse me, she does pay them about $50 a month to stay there. Not even enough to cover the groceries and toilet paper and laundry detergent that she uses.

She can hang out for the fun stuff with her daughter and then go out and party the rest of the time. If her daughter wakes up from a bad dream, mommy isn't there. When her daughter gets up Sunday morning her mommy may not have even come home the night before.

Sometimes its just time to quit being "supportive" and put your foot down. If your family can't be honest with you about your behavior then who can? It's one thing to be civil to someone at a family function and another to enable the bad behavior. babysitting the child of someone who does the bare minimum as a parent so they can go out and "have a break" is ridiculous. Being on welfare because you just want to be a stay at home mom is ridiculous.
The OP niece needs to get up off her lazy butt and get a job and support these children that she decided to have. At some point its time to quit feeling sorry for yourself and make your own life better and quit waiting for someone else to do it for you. I run out of sympathy at some point. I hear all the time how I should feel sorry for my sister she got pregnant so young. I was older, I was married I planned it out. So what, my niece is now almost 8 years old it's time for my sister to get up off her lazy selfish butt and take care of herself and her child. You don't buy yourself a $300 cell phone when you don't even provide money to help buy clothes for your own kid.

And in my case it does affect me and my child because it affects the relationship my parents are able to have with my daughter and the things that they are able to do with her because they are basically raising another child.

Could it be that your parent do what they do for your niece and not for your sister? Sure, she should get off her lazy butt and take care of her child. She needs to grow up and maybe if they stopped doing for her she would; but what about your niece in the mean time? I agree that she is as wrong as wrong can be but just trying to see it from your parent's pov.

As for the OP's niece; I agree that she should get a job and support her children. I just don't see it as a reason to cut someone out of my life.

We always say "you can love the sinner but not the sin". You can love the person while hating their choices.

 

[frndshpcptn]

No.

I have an Uncle that has stolen from the family, ruined a family business and caused significant grief to his parents and brother with his alcoholism. His actions cost the larger family security, financial stability and freedom.

He also abandoned his child at the age of 1 (the child, now 17, has never had the chance to get to know his father's side of the family).

The Uncle has been in and out of jail / rehab. Too bad, so sad. Don't care and never want to see him again.

 

[kt_mom]

Could it be that your parent do what they do for your niece and not for your sister? Sure, she should get off her lazy butt and take care of her child. She needs to grow up and maybe if they stopped doing for her she would; but what about your niece in the mean time? I agree that she is as wrong as wrong can be but just trying to see it from your parent's pov.

As for the OP's niece; I agree that she should get a job and support her children. I just don't see it as a reason to cut someone out of my life.

We always say "you can love the sinner but not the sin". You can love the person while hating their choices.

I never said my parents should quit doing what they do for my niece. If they didn't do it we probably would, we love her and want the best for her. What they need to do though, is kick my sister to the curb. She needs to have to grow up and take care of herself. She'll never be able to take care of my niece until she can take care of herself. But everytime she runs off she knows if it doesn't work out she can come right back to my parents house and live basically for free.

She doesn't need to be choosy in who she dates, who cares if they have a job or are headed to jail or just got out of jail. She doesn't have to think long term she can just choose to do whatever is fun in the moment because she has mommy and daddy to fall back on with a free place to live and food to eat and rides to work. My parents always tell me that I don't understand because I have a husband that makes good money but I chose to date people that I thought would be able to provide for themselves and someday a family. I chose to date someone with a good work ethic and level of maturity.

But if it was just me then I would have to work my butt off and make sacrifices so that I could provide for my daughter on my own. I'm sure that my parents would try to help me and I'm not saying that I wouldn't accept help from my parents or even from the government, but that I would be doing all I could to do it on my own first. you have to make sacrifices.

But everyone has this entitlement attitude. My sister is a single parent (except that my niece is really being raised by about 4 or 5 different people) so she is entitled to do things to make herself happy. She "lost" her young adult life because of getting pregnant so she deserves to do things to make herself happy. Her child's father has an enabler mother as well who pays most of his bills and because he was able to afford a new $300 phone she felt she was entitled to spend all her money on one as well. While in the meantime my parents are paying for the insurance and dr bills and clothes and food for her daughter. But my sister is entitled to her happiness. Heaven forbid she sit home on a friday night she "deserves" to go out and enjoy herself.

That mentality has to go. The OP niece wants to be SAHM mom. Well so do I but my family can't afford it right now. I would love to have the phone that my sister got, but it's not in our budget, my daughter needs spring clothes and has dance lessons that have to be paid for, etc.

I would not be able to be supportive to someone like the OP niece. I could be civil at family functions but that would be the extent of it. I would not and could not be a shoulder to cry on or a free babysitter or hold their hand while they go down that path. Sometimes tough love is the only way. You make adult choices they have adult consequences.

 

[HOGFAN]

I have a BIL who is a sponge. He owes everyone in the family many thousands of dollars with no intention to pay anybody back. He has played the 'woe is me' card all his life and made pisspoor decisions that everyone else has paid for. MIL enables him, nothing is his fault, of course. A few years ago, he needed ALOT of money to get out of a spot. MIL sends email to rest of family asking everyone to pool their money for him. Well, by this time, he had come to the well once too often, everyone turned him down. Boy, we were all in the doghouse with MIL for that one. He will never get another dime out of us, he can live in the ditch.

 

[luvsJack]

I never said my parents should quit doing what they do for my niece. If they didn't do it we probably would, we love her and want the best for her. What they need to do though, is kick my sister to the curb. She needs to have to grow up and take care of herself. She'll never be able to take care of my niece until she can take care of herself. But everytime she runs off she knows if it doesn't work out she can come right back to my parents house and live basically for free.

She doesn't need to be choosy in who she dates, who cares if they have a job or are headed to jail or just got out of jail. She doesn't have to think long term she can just choose to do whatever is fun in the moment because she has mommy and daddy to fall back on with a free place to live and food to eat and rides to work. My parents always tell me that I don't understand because I have a husband that makes good money but I chose to date people that I thought would be able to provide for themselves and someday a family. I chose to date someone with a good work ethic and level of maturity.

But if it was just me then I would have to work my butt off and make sacrifices so that I could provide for my daughter on my own. I'm sure that my parents would try to help me and I'm not saying that I wouldn't accept help from my parents or even from the government, but that I would be doing all I could to do it on my own first. you have to make sacrifices.

But everyone has this entitlement attitude. My sister is a single parent (except that my niece is really being raised by about 4 or 5 different people) so she is entitled to do things to make herself happy. She "lost" her young adult life because of getting pregnant so she deserves to do things to make herself happy. Her child's father has an enabler mother as well who pays most of his bills and because he was able to afford a new $300 phone she felt she was entitled to spend all her money on one as well. While in the meantime my parents are paying for the insurance and dr bills and clothes and food for her daughter. But my sister is entitled to her happiness. Heaven forbid she sit home on a friday night she "deserves" to go out and enjoy herself.

That mentality has to go. The OP niece wants to be SAHM mom. Well so do I but my family can't afford it right now. I would love to have the phone that my sister got, but it's not in our budget, my daughter needs spring clothes and has dance lessons that have to be paid for, etc.

I would not be able to be supportive to someone like the OP niece. I could be civil at family functions but that would be the extent of it. I would not and could not be a shoulder to cry on or a free babysitter or hold their hand while they go down that path. Sometimes tough love is the only way. You make adult choices they have adult consequences.

Oh, I am in full agreement with you on the being a grown-up, making grown-up choices and meeting those consequenses. Your sister certainly needs to grow up and take care of herself and the OP's niece needs to get a job. You'll get no debate from me there. I just don't see those offenses as enough to cut someone out of my life.

The family member that I mentioned whose mother is sick and I help out with the kids; I disagree with most of the choices he has made and he will have to face those choices at some point in his life. But, I don't think its necessarily up to me to give him those consequences. Now, if he was coming to me for money or a place to live, yes, then tough love may have to kick in.

Your sister is taking advantage of your parents and I can understand your anger. The OP's niece is not doing that. She is living off the government. But you know what? I see people every day doing that very thing, but I can be secure in knowing that I am supporting my family and can buy my dd what she needs when she needs it. Because of that, I just don't feel the need to resent someone living off the government.

I am in no way even hinting that you should not be angry at your sister. And if you feel that its enough to cut the ties, then that is what you should do. I, personally, just don't know that I would or could do that.

 

[binny]

I have one in my life. I will be there for him if he ever truly needs it but he wont. He doesnt contact me and I dont contact him. If I were to see him we would be friendly I suppose but that wont happen either. He used to come to our old town every couple of weeks on business and I never knew he was there. I have forgiven him for what he has done to the ones I love and while it still hurts I cant hold onto that because I am the only that it hurts.
If he needed me, I would be there for him though. Blood will get him in the door but he has yet to knock.


I dont know about the people in your life. I wouldnt be able to tolerate the abuser. I would also be reporting him for the abuse he metting out on that poor girl.

The one who makes poor choices? Well we've all done that and while Im not condoning what she did/does I think she sounds very immature. Hopefully she will grow up someday.

As for the one who left, well he made his bed. If he is really bothered by it then he needs to fix it.

Support can mean a lot of different things. I wouldnt just pretend it didnt happen, but to be there to listen or to maybe help your mom by being a sounding board... well thats something different.

 

[kt_mom]

Oh, I am in full agreement with you on the being a grown-up, making grown-up choices and meeting those consequenses. Your sister certainly needs to grow up and take care of herself and the OP's niece needs to get a job. You'll get no debate from me there. I just don't see those offenses as enough to cut someone out of my life.

The family member that I mentioned whose mother is sick and I help out with the kids; I disagree with most of the choices he has made and he will have to face those choices at some point in his life. But, I don't think its necessarily up to me to give him those consequences. Now, if he was coming to me for money or a place to live, yes, then tough love may have to kick in.

Your sister is taking advantage of your parents and I can understand your anger. The OP's niece is not doing that. She is living off the government. But you know what? I see people every day doing that very thing, but I can be secure in knowing that I am supporting my family and can buy my dd what she needs when she needs it. Because of that, I just don't feel the need to resent someone living off the government.

I am in no way even hinting that you should not be angry at your sister. And if you feel that its enough to cut the ties, then that is what you should do. I, personally, just don't know that I would or could do that.

No, I haven't cut ties with my sister and I wouldn't. I do love my sister. I want her to have a good life. I just want her to grow up. I don't however "support" her just because she's family. We don't do anything for her financially anymore (we have in the past) and I don't listen to her complain about her life or arguments with my parents or anything like that. And honestly we are not very close anymore because I just can't sit around listen to her talk and act like a carefree 18 year old.

As far as government assitance it does bother me when it's abused because my hard earned money is paying for it. Unfortunately the system is very flawed and I don't have the answers to fix it. But I do resent those that abuse it and cost me more in taxes. I'm of the mindset that helping those truly in need should be handled on a community level by friends, family churches and community organizations. But thats a whole different conversation.

I do not however think that the OP niece should be sitting home on her butt while I work to pay for it essentially. Like I said, I'd like to be a SAHM too but I don't expect my fellow citizens to foot the bill for it. I know we are in a economic hard time right now, but in a normal environment, everyone can do something or they can at least try to. The OP niece needs some tough love and family are the best ones to give it. No one said she has to cut this person out of her life completely, but she doesnt' have to gush all over her the way her mother seems to think she needs to.

 

[bluesaturn]

I can see why you would think that. But like I said, there is way more to the story.

It's sort of annoying when someone posts on here and asks for an opinion, and then when people disagree comes back to say "oh no you don't know the whole story". Of course we didn't know the whole story, we only know the high points that were important enough to be included in your summary. Still, I understand your desire to explain your feelings.
Honestly, you have plenty of your own reasons to not support her so you don't need to justify this to the rest of us. Do what you think is right, if your mom supports these other family members she will support you too.
I will say, there are other ways to deal with this than cutting her out of your life immediately. I would probably try those ways first if it were me. I know you never said you would cut her off, but other people brought that up.

 

[connorlevismom]

I am kind of confused because I don't think I ever said I am going to cut her out of my life, did I? She is my niece and if she ever really needed me, I would be there.

What I am talking about is what my mom believes to be true. She thinks that I am a ***** because I don't ask her about her pregnancy. I don't get all excited about it and gush over her. I don't buy her gifts for the baby and celebrate it. My mom thinks that I should be doing that. I should be OK that she wants to be a SAHM even though she cannot afford it. She thinks that I should be OK with her taking Govt. money that I go to work to pay for. I am torked off about it! I have a 4 month old that my mom never offers to babysit just because. "You don't need it like she does, you have a husband" is what she says when I ask her about watching nieces son. I said that I did not support her. I never said I would cut her out of my life.

Hopefully that helps clear up what I mean by "support".

Kristine

 

[sunnyday123]

She is not trying to better herself and get off. She is talking about quitting work all together after this new baby is born. That is why I am so mad at her. If she were taking responsibility for her actions I would be there for her.

Kristine

Unfortunately there are many people doing just this. A woman I work with has a 24 year old daughter who can't pass a drug test to get a job, but gets full medical benefits for herself and son from the state. Meanwhile, I had to add my daughter to mine for a total of $160 twice a month because her father got laid off, and I need to get a blood test to the tune of $350 because my insurance won't cover anything until I pay $350 towards anything. She also gets food stamps or whatever the heck they are and I beleive his daycare is paid for too. While she sits at home and smokes whatever it is she's smoking. Wonder what kind of program she's on that pays for THAT.

Sorry, had to vent.

 

[sunnyday123]

I am kind of confused because I don't think I ever said I am going to cut her out of my life, did I? She is my niece and if she ever really needed me, I would be there.

What I am talking about is what my mom believes to be true. She thinks that I am a ***** because I don't ask her about her pregnancy. I don't get all excited about it and gush over her. I don't buy her gifts for the baby and celebrate it. My mom thinks that I should be doing that. I should be OK that she wants to be a SAHM even though she cannot afford it. She thinks that I should be OK with her taking Govt. money that I go to work to pay for. I am torked off about it! I have a 4 month old that my mom never offers to babysit just because. "You don't need it like she does, you have a husband" is what she says when I ask her about watching nieces son. I said that I did not support her. I never said I would cut her out of my life.

Hopefully that helps clear up what I mean by "support".

Kristine

Have your Mom call mine. My brother's girlfriend got pregnant because "babies are cute"-he's now married to someone else with a 20 month old, because....they wanted a baby. Nevermind he can't afford to live on his own or pay his bills, and for Christmas told everyone what to buy his kids because they couldn't, and shoves this kid down everyones throat ( my Dad was in ICU in a coma and he was telling the Dr. about his son and maybe if he brought him in my Dad would wake up because he's so cute and funny. Wait,we've found a cure for comas!!)

My Mom got mad at me because I said it was tacky to have a shower for the new baby solely because they couldn't afford stuff. Um, how about you think about that before you get pregnant? They expect people to actually pick stuff up for them. I gave them some baby coupons that I had cut out, and they asked me why I didn't buy the stuff for them! WHAT??!!?