Do you think "I'm going on a diet next week" is a valid excuse?

[glasslipper]

I'm sorry but this sounds hateful and rude. She declined and just because you feel like it is an excuse is your problem. It sounds like she was being very honest with you and probably thought you would understand since you have went through the weight lost journey too.

Would you be so upset if she had another commitment already that day?

I repeatedly said I would not have been upset if she had another commitment, or just said No, I can't make it.

 

[FireDancer]

Yes, it is a valid excuse. I've only read the OP so I have no idea where this thread went but when someone is trying to change their lifestyle (which is the only way to lose weight and keep it off long term) one of the first things they should do is avoid temptation in the early stages. That means if you have a weakness for ice cream you don't have it in the house, if you are used to having a doughnut with your coffee you might have to lay off the coffee for a while, and if you know that at parties where there will be bad foods you can't help yourself you just don't go.

Now, of course for the change to work you will have to adjust to being around these temptations but if they just started then maybe it is best for them to avoid parties for a little while.

Of course it could be an excuse but I'm going by face value and assuming she really wants to change to her lifestyle and if so good for her.

 

[ols386]

Because, unlike the rest of you I actually know my SIL , for 25 yrs. to be exact.

See, that's part of the problem. We don't know her. If we knew her like you do, some of us on here might feel differently.

These kinds of threads don't normally turn out well for the op. I'm signing-off. You might want to do the same.

Best wishes!

 

[tarheel618]

I repeatedly said I would not have been upset if she had another commitment, or just said No, I can't make it.

Sorry but I found this to be untrue. I think you would still be here complaining about her regardless of why she couldn't make it.

 

[ols386]

Sorry but I found this to be untrue. I think you would still be here complaining about her regardless of why she couldn't make it.

Yes, let's continue to beat-up on the op.

 

[SaraJayne]

Yup apparently so in the eyes of those "wiser" than me. I just said a no would have sufficed rather than lying, but yeah I think I'm the victim if it makes you feel better. thanks for your help.

Why is it so hard for you to understand she wasn't lying??

 

[minkydog]

Ok, I was trying to explain the situation by giving more history, but ok, LOl I'm the evil witch. I'm sure that's exactly how SIL is selling to her sisters, because that is exactly how the story goes and has always gone.

And you care about this...because...

I think you need to take a step back from this situation. You're way more invested in this SIL than you need to be

 

[JessicaR]

You know her for 25 years. You have history maybe not all of it good. A year ago you both decided to try a diet that worked for you but not her. You lost the weight and kept it off. Yeah, she is ticked at you and doesn't wanna go to your party. It isnt her Mother or her relative. Leave her be and stop questioning her motives.

Enjoy your party and celebrate your Mom.

BTW - are the other SIL's going?

 

[Poohforyou]

Exactly, then just say you don't want to go, don't make up some crap excuse, IMO..that is rude and that is what upset me the most.

You aren't upset that she said no but that she said no and gave a reason that you believe isn't valid? For that I think you're being unreasonable.

Go & have fun with your mom.

 

[stsomewhere]

I would not want to go to my sister's mother in laws party. I have limited time for my own family.

 

[wvjules]

Ok, I was trying to explain the situation by giving more history, but ok, LOl I'm the evil witch. I'm sure that's exactly how SIL is selling to her sisters, because that is exactly how the story goes and has always gone.

Doesn't sound too far off.

 

[happygirl]

So your hubby has several sister are they all going to your mom party

 

[LBIJim]

Ok, I was trying to explain the situation by giving more history, but ok, LOl I'm the evil witch. I'm sure that's exactly how SIL is selling to her sisters, because that is exactly how the story goes and has always gone.

Based on your own words in this thread, perhaps whatever SIL is selling to her sisters has more than just a little validity.

Enjoy the party without her. No doubt SIL will be happier that way as well.

Jim

 

[Swan4Me]

I would not want to go to my sister's mother in laws party. I have limited time for my own family.

Now that I realize this woman is not related to the party person- no big deal- I thought she or her DH were RELATED
OP totally need to chill

 

[cabanafrau]

Really,I know this. Why the hostility? The obvious bs excuse she felt she needed to give me upset me. Just be honest and I wouldn't have a problem. I really would have been fine if she had said she couldn't make it. I wasn't expecting everyone to say yes. This Sister in law by the way is extremely selfish and into herself. She was invited to my dd's HS graduation (she is dd's god mother) and didn't come (which is ok not a problem, it was her birthday) but she calls my DH during the ceremony because he didn't call her to wish her a Happy Birthday and was angry because he wouldn't talk to her, She consistently doesn't show up to important family events, but expects everyone else to come to hers.

My DH's Mom passed away 6 yrs ago. She was hospitalized 2 yrs before she passed and DH and I were at the hospital twice a week to help her and visit, all the sisters were and DH and I alternated so someone was always there with her.


For the poster who asked why I added the born again Christian comment, it was just because she accused me of stealing her " joy" .

I wonder what would give her the notion that she felt she needed to come up with an excuse for you?

You may be right, she may be self-centered and difficult. From what you've written it sounds like you don't let anything go, or particularly approve of her religion. Sounds like a win that she declined your invitation.

 

[glasslipper]

Sorry but I found this to be untrue. I think you would still be here complaining about her regardless of why she couldn't make it.

Sorry but you are wrong, You can attack me all you like, but you really have no idea what you are talking about.

 

[LBIJim]

Yes, "I'm going on a diet next week" is a vaild excuse to decline an invitation.

Even is it IS BS, you don't get to decide that other peoples' excuses are invalid.

Enjoy the party without SIL. No doubt she'll be happier that way as well.

Jim

 

[glasslipper]

Doesn't sound too far off.

wow.

 

[glasslipper]

You know her for 25 years. You have history maybe not all of it good. A year ago you both decided to try a diet that worked for you but not her. You lost the weight and kept it off. Yeah, she is ticked at you and doesn't wanna go to your party. It isnt her Mother or her relative. Leave her be and stop questioning her motives.

Enjoy your party and celebrate your Mom.

BTW - are the other SIL's going?

Yes they are.

 

[glasslipper]

See, that's part of the problem. We don't know her. If we knew her like you do, some of us on here might feel differently.

These kinds of threads don't normally turn out well for the op. I'm signing-off. You might want to do the same.

Best wishes!

Thanks. I will. For the rest of you who just want to judge and attack me, enjoy, I'm done, have fun.