Do you think grandparents are financially obligated to support your children?

[Sleepy]

Do you or anyone you know think it is expected of grandparents to pay for the grandchildren's clothing, daycare, extracurricular activities, etc simply because the grandparents no longer have these expenses of their own?

I never even considered this an obligation until recently when it was brought to my attention. I have met quite a few people who have made angry comments about their parents because, "The kids are so expensive and mom and dad refuse to pay for anything". How many people really think this way?

 

[Frye7127]

Not me! My parents are very generous when buying my DS toys or clothes and will buy him things we will not or cannot. They do not pay for his private school or clothes for school. They do not pay for extracurricular activities. I am thankful for them being in his life and the important role they play as grandparents. Toys and clothes are just bonuses.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Do you or anyone you know think it is expected of grandparents to pay for the grandchildren's clothing, daycare, extracurricular activities, etc simply because the grandparents no longer have these expenses of their own?

I never even considered this an obligation until recently when it was brought to my attention. I have met quite a few people who have made angry comments about their parents because, "The kids are so expensive and mom and dad refuse to pay for anything". How many people really think this way?

OMG, NO!!! I don't expect or want anything from my parents for my child or us for that matter. If my parents choose to give a gift then I will accept it graciously. I would never get angry if they didn't give anything or offer to pay for anything.

My ILs have had some health concerns lately and they didn't send us Christmas presents. I asked DH if they were okay and needed any money as this is extremely unusual. He said they were fine but were concerned about expenses and decided not to send gifts. I'm more concerned about them going without something necessary for themselves then I am about getting them to buy/pay for anything for our DD.

 

[just4today]

I had the children. They're my responsibility and no one else's, even my parents.

 

[kaligal]

No. But it would be a very crappy grandparent who could afford to buy a toy or an ice cream cone once in a while and never bothered.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

Heck no! My dad is actually our nanny and I pay him.

However, my brother and his wife do expect both sets of parents to help them support their lifestyle. It really annoys me.

 

[eliza61]

Quite a few. I actually made a comment on this on a thread about adult children getting mad when they have to financially help their elderly parents. LOL.

It's such an ironic "thing" we have in this country (to me any way).

You should see how many post we get here every year because Grandma and Poppop are going with us to disney world and have the nerve to not want to baby sit the kids while I go out and play in the parks.

The people who created the children are the people who are obligated to raise the kid. If you have grandparents who will help out, that's cool!!

 

[eliza61]

No. But it would be a very crappy grandparent who could afford to buy a toy or an ice cream cone once in a while and never bothered.

Why?

 

[golfgal]

WOW--talk about entitlement. I NEVER considered that one. Heck, I don't like it if the grandparents spend too much money on the kids when we are visiting them. They always take them places, out to eat, buy them stuff AND send them home with cash.

 

[NMAmy]

No. I can't even imagine what my mom would say if I asked her to start kicking in for dd's college costs. Well, yeah, I can. But it's not DIS friendly.

 

[wdwfan16]

Do you or anyone you know think it is expected of grandparents to pay for the grandchildren's clothing, daycare, extracurricular activities, etc simply because the grandparents no longer have these expenses of their own?

I never even considered this an obligation until recently when it was brought to my attention. I have met quite a few people who have made angry comments about their parents because, "The kids are so expensive and mom and dad refuse to pay for anything". How many people really think this way?

1st question - Not just NO but HELL NO

2nd question - Spoiled brats think this way.

 

[luvmy3]

I think children who never were expected to be responsible or themselves because their parents always bailed them out, grow up become parents and then expect their parents to continue to take care of them. I do not know anyone like this, but I am not surprised that there are people who are like that.

 

[ICF]

ummm...no.

My parents would laugh non-stop if I showed up and asked them to pay for my kids afterschool care or their sports activities.

They do presents on the usual days and if they happen to watch them overnight or something will spoil them, but no way or how would they pay (or would we expect them to pay) for anything like you mentioned.

 

[Darsa]

Oh wow, I can NOT imagine expecting my parents to pay for my kids! That's ridiculous! How could anyone ever think such a thing??? Of course, in this day 'n age, so many people seem to have overinflated ideas of their own entitlement, so I guess it's not AS surprising as it could be.

I've had to teach DD to sneak money back to my Dad; he's generous to a fault and can't stand the thought of her MAYBE needing money and not having it.

 

[-Hope-]

I think its pretty crappy for people to expect parents to take care of their kids and it effects a whole lot of people when they do. Dh is still pretty angry with his sister because she expected his parents to raise her kids- they were with his mom EVERY day for some reason or another. As a result when we had kids his mom was exhausted and didn't have much time or energy left for our kids. When dMIL died a couple of years ago dh was angry at his sister and his mom because he felt like our kids had been robbed of getting to know their grandmother. He vowed that he would be sure the same thing didn't happen with his dad but SIL is so pushy with her demands that it is still difficult.

 

[nmmom95]

I had the children. They're my responsibility and no one else's, even my parents.

My parents are very generous to my boys for birthdays, holidays, even "just because," but they are my children and I agree completely.

 

[luvmy3]

No. But it would be a very crappy grandparent who could afford to buy a toy or an ice cream cone once in a while and never bothered.

I don't believe a Grandparent that doesn't provoide toys and ice cream to their grandkids is crappy. I think that the fact that my father drives 4 hours at least once a week to see my kids, and that he is here for every concert, sporting event to show his support, and holiday or day off from school to spend time with the kids is way more important than him bringing toys and ice cream when he came. He does not buy any toys for my kids, never has, not even for Christmas or birthdays. He is a great grandfather and my kids love him and know they are lucky to have him. They know he loves them and they don't need him to give a toy to show/prove it.

 

[minniebeth]

No way do I think that grandparents should be expected to help contribute to their grandchildren's expenses, whether they have the money or not.

I do know several people who do have their parents pay for just about everything for their own kids and it's just crazy because they make great livings themselves. I just don't get it, but it is not an expectation that they have (well maybe if the money went away I'd hear griping about it though~)

 

[blana]

No, but my brothers seem to.... My dad pays for my oldest DB's kids to go to daycare. And he and my mom were expected to BE daycare for my other DB's children. (I got fussed at one time for sending my DS to daycare because DH's "parents live near you. They should keep him!" Uhm, they were still working at that point....) Other DB has gotten better over time, but still has WEIRD ideas about what DF is expected to do for him & his.

 

[DMickey28]

Seriously??? My parent's raised me and paid for me (and sometimes still do!!!) It was my choice to have kids and if I can't afford them that's my problem. I have never heard of that before. Sure they get presents, clothes and special treats at grandma's house but none of that is required or requested.

I don't get some people!!

I am also willing to bet that these same people, if they thought about it, would not be happy if their kids expect them to foot the bill for some of their grandkids activities in 20-30 years. It's them being selfish ...