Do you think a PhD earns people the right to be called doctor in a social setting?

[disney junky]

Actually...I AM the first in my generation to do it...and certainly I'm proud of it, but there have been other things in my life that I am MORE proud of since then (such as giving BIRTH...that was way harder than anything in any school ever!).

As I said, I'm much more proud of what I do day to day to help kids than I am by any piece of paper.

I agree with you totally.
I simply acknowledge that some people need the recognition (or that framed piece of paper in full view).
Our most notable accomplishments give us papers that get hung on the fridge.

 

[MushyMushy]

anyone with a ph.d. has the *right* to be called doctor. But to ask to be called doctor in a social setting ... ? Its weird ... and it would be weird even if it were a medical doctor IMO -- but I also think its weird to call people Mr, Ms, etc. in a social setting.

I used to work in academia; gf currently works in academia; believe me that nobody we've ever known with a Ph.D. gets called "Dr." except by students and possibly on official correspondence.

I agree with this point of view.

 

[BillSears]

The headmaster at my daughter's old privite school used to be called Mr. Firstname by everyone. It was respectful and nice. Then he got an honarary doctorate and insisted every call him Dr. Lastname from then on and he corrected anyone. adults and kids, who still called him Mr. Firstname. He's still the same guy but insisting on the Dr made me think he was an *******.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think it's pretentious, but it's their choice. I also think it's pretentious for your husband to love being "the doctor"

I don't recall the OP saying anything like that, only that he is occasionally called doctor, not that he basks in the glory of it or expects or insists upon it.

 

[Disney Doll]

On another note, I understand where a pp is coming from. My DH is a MD and it bugs me when my SIL addresses mail to him as "Mr.". Why not just his first name? Or "Dr" if it is something formal. He is not a "Mr.". I am proud to be a "Mrs." though!

Of course he's a Mr.!! Every man is a Mr., just like every woman is a Miss,, Ms. or Mrs.

I dislike professional titles in social situations. I see it as pompous. I have no problem with professional titles in professional situations.

I am a nurse. I socialize with a few physicians who work at my hospital. When I encounter them in the presence of a patient, I always call them Dr. When I encounter them in our nurses' station or elsewhere where there are no patients, I call them by name. When I encounter them in social situations outside of work, I call them by name.

Regardless of where we are, they always call me Patty, which is better than being called late for dinner I guess.

 

[Disney Doll]

I prefer to be called Maestro

 

[mariolatry]

I
As for your particular situation ... I get the feeling that you and your M.D. husband enjoy the "wow!" factor of him being called "Doctor" in social situations and that you feel that people who are not "real doctors" take away your thunder when they use the title too.

Believe me, there is no "wow factor" for me in him being a doctor.

The woman in question had asked me why medical doctors were referred to as doctor outside the office. All I could think of is that theirs is a trade that can be plied anywhere, as in when people seek out a doctor in the case of an emergency (or for free medical advice, as seems to be his case frequently). I was using it as an example.

I guess that's the difference to me; relevancy. I don't mind calling my reverend doctor because he is trained in both divinity and counseling and he plies his trade on every street corner, hospital room, and dinner table from here to eternity. It's harder to justify it for a degree in anthropology or whatever. Does that make sense?

ETA: For clarification, my husband does NOT refer to himself as Dr. Soandso in public because he hates being asked for medical advice all the time, due to the tremendous liability. When the woman in the church office asked his profession, they made the decision to note him as that.

I prefer to be called Maestro

I'd like to be called Her Majesty, but I can't seem to get anyone to go for it!

 

[Disney Doll]

Only if people will start calling me Lovey like I've asked them to a million times !!!

That's what my late DFIL & I called each other...it was an inside joke.

Thanks for the smile.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I think if a person is not known well by someone, Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Dr. (in cases of medical doctors and persons with a doctorate in another field, equally) should always be used. If the situation calls for a Mr. or Ms. and the person has a doctorate, then Dr. should be used.

Being a SAHM has nothing to do with it. If your husband had to take a great length of time of due to an injury, he would still deserve to be called Dr. by all but his close friends. I think the woman who has earned a doctorate deserves the same respect your husband does. To call her Ms, Miss, or Mrs. would be an insult.

 

[jgmklmhem]

I kinda got the same feeling...for the OP's DH, it's OKAY to be called a "Doctor" because he "saves lives" (as another poster put it)...but a "Doctor" who *only* studied sociology...well...they're "not worthy"...just the impression I got from the OP's post.

I have a PHD in chemistry. I only use the Dr. in official capacities (meeting clients for the first time, interviewing potential hires, etc) and only then when necessary. The only time I have ever pulled out the Dr. was when an MD (neurosurgeon) was really talking down to my wife and me and barely knew us at that point. I guess we were perceived as young parents who knew nothing. In his condecension he said Mr. LastName and I quickly corrected him that it was Dr. LastName. His tone completely changed and talked to us normal after that.

I often do get some condecension from MD's over my use of Dr., but what I find funny is that in all actuality I went to more school than they did before the title was granted upon me. MD's on average take 4 years to get their degrees and the title of Dr. Whereas in my field the average is over 5 years.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I am a nurse. I socialize with a few physicians who work at my hospital. When I encounter them in the presence of a patient, I always call them Dr. When I encounter them in our nurses' station or elsewhere where there are no patients, I call them by name. When I encounter them in social situations outside of work, I call them by name.

I guess I should ring in here.

This was the case when I worked in a hospital too. We would also often refer to them as Dr. so and so when talking to someone else, but their 1st name to face (as long as no patients were around.) Also it depended on if we were talking about personal things, or work related. Also the older doc's I often called doc, but the ones my age I called by 1st name.

My DH has a PhD in Chemistry (hence the screen name.) It was new when we joined Dis so it was a bigger thing then (and the 1st 3 other names he tried was taken.) Anyway his students call him Dr. D most of the time (not his 1st name.) Outside of school he is his 1st name or Mr. I must admit that if you are going be formal and use Mr. (like addressing mail) I think they should use Dr. and Mrs. if they know he has a PhD, as close friends and family do. Most people don't know he has one and will say Mr. He do not correct them (unless he is feeling snarky.) I guess he has been know to correct telamarketers. Thank God for the do not call list.

One of my Dh's students called the house once asking for him (they almost never do that, he prefers email.) Anyway I was so taken back I forgot and said there was no Dr. D here. I had this patient at the hospital who kept mistaking me for the doctor and I thought she had tried to track me down. Keep in mind I worked in psychiatry department.

Now I have to admit that my DH jokes and calls me Master Mary because I have a MSW. That is normally when I call him Dr. D.

 

[EthansMom]

What I have found over the years is that those that are most insistent on being called DOCTOR in every setting are those least worthy of the title. I think someone hit the nail on the head when they said it was a low self-esteem issue.

In the engineering field, it was generally my experience that those folks with Ph.D.s who insisted upon being called "Dr." were not necessarily the most useful "hands-on" engineers. However, I also worked for years with folks who were great engineers before finding out that they had multiple advanced degrees.

IMO, if you've earned a Ph.D., you have the right to have people use it in a professional setting. However, it won't change my perception of you if you're a numb nut.

In a casual social setting, it's ridiculous to insist on the use of a formal title.

 

[DVC Jen]

I personally think it is extremely pretentious and strokes their egos. I do not participate in calling someone Doctor because of extensive education. When I refer to a doctor it is a medical doctor.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Not in every day situations. Special occasions, why not? But I will NOT call anybody "Maestro"!

 

[Kitty 34]

My last principal/boss had a doctorate and we all called her Dr. So and So. My Dad also has his PHD and everyone I know addresses him as Dr.

Doesn't bother me any.

 

[sweetspicy]

I think the wanting-to-be-called-Dr. thing (unless you are a medical doctor) in social settings is pretty pretentious. I don't have a problem with professors being called Dr.'s, though, if it's at a college. But that's about it.

 

[Blondy876]

Do you think a PhD earns people the right to be called doctor in a social setting?

Yes, I do. A person with a PhD worked just as hard even if it was in learning something piddly like, Literature or Psychology. I get the feeling from reading may of the posts that unless the public deems your degree more useful in the everyday you don't warrant the same respect. I disagree, if you earned it then you deserve to use it. No matter what it is in.

Now would I use the title in public, probably not. It does seem pretentious, for any type of doctor. That being said I believe that a PhD and MD both have the right to use the title if they want too.

I don't have my PhD yet, but one day you will all refer to me as Dr. Jenn .

 

[smartestnumber5]

From your perspective though, it's natural. Everyone in your family has a miriad of degrees. Quite possibly it was expected.

But what if you are the first person of your generation to accomplish something. Shouldn't you have the right to wear it in full view. That's not self esteem, it's pride in accomplishment.

I have great respect for people who have the intellectual ability and perseverance to earn a doctorate, so if that's what they want to be called, that's what I'll call them.

I was the first in my family to get a college degree. I should be getting a Masters soon, and if all goes well, in 3.5 years I'll have a PhD.

I think it's horribly pretentious for a medical doctor to ask anyone who is not their patient to call them doctor. And I think it is horribly pretentious for someone with a doctorate to ask anyone who is not their student to call them doctor (actually, given all the people with doctorates I've known have been professors or deans, they had their students refer to them as "professor" or "dean").

I think when someone is acting professionally in the role of professor or medical doctor or dean it makes sense for those who are obtaining their services to call them by that title. But I don't see why people in any other social relation to the person should call them that. If I were asked in a social situation to refer to someone with a title that goes with their job or education, I would refuse to do so--I'd probably just avoid talking to them altogether. I mean, everyone has accomplished something they are proud of. Can some of us be called "the best cookie baker in the world" if we choose?

 

[HOGFAN]

no, you are not a doctor unless you can write me a prescription

 

[Taylor]

I'm the Vice President of a international company. I have worked and studied as hard over the years as any Doctor.

I would never expect anyone to refer to me as "Mr. Vice President".