Do you think a PhD earns people the right to be called doctor in a social setting?

[auntpolly]

LOL, I don't think anyone has earned the right to demand anything.

I just mean, they earned the degree -- I'm willing to call a person Dr. in any professional situation. In a social ones, I'll do it but I'll be thinking they are a bit of a knob.

In Italy, they call any professional person Dottore - as a sign of respect - even if the person has no advanced degree. Don't know what that has to do with anything - just showin' off, I guess!

 

[robinb]

I am replying without reading other comments.

I think that anyone who has an M.D. or a Ph.D. has the right to use the title "Doctor". They have earned it. I think using the title in "Social" situations for either group is pretentious.

As for your particular situation ... I get the feeling that you and your M.D. husband enjoy the "wow!" factor of him being called "Doctor" in social situations and that you feel that people who are not "real doctors" take away your thunder when they use the title too.

 

[katerkat]

If you have to demand or even ask for respect and authority...you are amongst people who feel you haven't earned it.

On that note, I'd like DISers to begin calling me Mrs. Captain LastName.

Or is it Captain Mrs. LastName?

 

[disney junky]

It just seems so pretentious to demand that people recognize that you spent years studying one subject, often something that's less than relevant to daily life. Am I crazy?

I think it is this statement that causes some people to become conscious of being referred to as doctor. What you are saying here is that a Ph.D's education isn't relevant so they shouldn't expect to be recognized for it...it's pretentious. All of their hard work isn't important enough to acknowledge.

It's quite possible that the woman you referred to, the SAHM, feels that though she isn't working outside the home or publishing anything, she doesn't want her accomplishments forgotten. I can accept that. Live and let live. Call her Doc. If someone asks her for medical advice, have her refer him to your husband.

 

[challada]

Our family has a miriad of degrees and we NEVER want to be addressed as dr. anything! We have many friends w/doctorate degrees from PhDs to PsyDs to MDs to JDs and never in a social setting do we address eachother as doctor this and doctor that.

What I have found over the years is that those that are most insistent on being called DOCTOR in every setting are those least worthy of the title. I think someone hit the nail on the head when they said it was a low self-esteem issue.

Honestly, I don't even know where my paper degree(s) are at nor do I care. I'm defined by the day to day work that I do, not the frames on the wall.

 

[Maleficent13]

I just mean, they earned the degree -- I'm willing to call a person Dr. in any professional situation. In a social ones, I'll do it but I'll be thinking they are a bit of a knob.

This made me

I'll call anyone whatever they like; however, I've never had any PhD or MD want me to call them by their title in a social situation.

 

[Jen_in_NH]

Personally, calling someone Doctor is strictly a professional thing. Socially, you're just one of your group of friends, and should be addressed as such.

My husband, on the other hand, wants to know if everyone should be called by their degree or title, if he has to call me Master

Jen

 

[TigerBear]

No, but most of my friends with PhDs disagree with me. I do like being referred to as "Dr." in professional settings, especially since my PhD is a professional degree. I can't imagine colleages calling me by that title though.

On another note, I understand where a pp is coming from. My DH is a MD and it bugs me when my SIL addresses mail to him as "Mr.". Why not just his first name? Or "Dr" if it is something formal. He is not a "Mr.". I am proud to be a "Mrs." though!

 

[Bob Slydell]

My husband is an MD and does occasionally go by doctor. My argument is that it's more relevant in daily life to know who's a medical doctor. At church on Sunday, a little girl fell and hurt her head and they searched my husband out because they knew he was a doctor.

Did they search him out because he goes around saying he's a doctor or because they personally know him and know he's a doctor?

 

[poohandwendy]

It's quite possible that the woman you referred to, the SAHM, feels that though she isn't working outside the home or publishing anything, she doesn't want her accomplishments forgotten.

All I can say to that is work it out in therapy. (not aimed at you, just anyone whose ego is that fragile)

 

[disney junky]

Our family has a miriad of degrees and we NEVER want to be addressed as dr. anything! We have many friends w/doctorate degrees from PhDs to PsyDs to MDs to JDs and never in a social setting do we address eachother as doctor this and doctor that.

What I have found over the years is that those that are most insistent on being called DOCTOR in every setting are those least worthy of the title. I think someone hit the nail on the head when they said it was a low self-esteem issue.

Honestly, I don't even know where my paper degree(s) are at nor do I care. I'm defined by the day to day work that I do, not the frames on the wall.

From your perspective though, it's natural. Everyone in your family has a miriad of degrees. Quite possibly it was expected.

But what if you are the first person of your generation to accomplish something. Shouldn't you have the right to wear it in full view. That's not self esteem, it's pride in accomplishment.

I have great respect for people who have the intellectual ability and perseverance to earn a doctorate, so if that's what they want to be called, that's what I'll call them.

 

[Hannathy]

Anyone I am friendly enough with for me to call them by their first name that is what they are getting. If I am not friendly enough to be using their first name I will use Mr., Dr., Rev., etc. I would never call a friend in a social setting by their title. and I hate when especially MD's (who do it the most) introduce themselves socially as DR. if so then I want you to call me Mrs. or what ever my title is because it isn't my name and Dr. isn't your name either.

 

[themarquis]

anyone with a ph.d. has the *right* to be called doctor. But to ask to be called doctor in a social setting ... ? Its weird ... and it would be weird even if it were a medical doctor IMO -- but I also think its weird to call people Mr, Ms, etc. in a social setting.

I used to work in academia; gf currently works in academia; believe me that nobody we've ever known with a Ph.D. gets called "Dr." except by students and possibly on official correspondence.

 

[challada]

From your perspective though, it's natural. Everyone in your family has a miriad of degrees. Quite possibly it was expected.

But what if you are the first person of your generation to accomplish something. Shouldn't you have the right to wear it in full view. That's not self esteem, it's pride in accomplishment.

I have great respect for people who have the intellectual ability and perseverance to earn a doctorate, so if that's what they want to be called, that's what I'll call them.

Actually...I AM the first in my generation to do it...and certainly I'm proud of it, but there have been other things in my life that I am MORE proud of since then (such as giving BIRTH...that was way harder than anything in any school ever!).

As I said, I'm much more proud of what I do day to day to help kids than I am by any piece of paper.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

ehhh.. if they earned it, they deserve it.

 

[Art Vandalay]

I prefer to be called Maestro

 

[hiwaygal]

I think that anyone who has an M.D. or a Ph.D. has the right to use the title "Doctor". They have earned it. I think using the title in "Social" situations for either group is pretentious.

As for your particular situation ... I get the feeling that you and your M.D. husband enjoy the "wow!" factor of him being called "Doctor" in social situations and that you feel that people who are not "real doctors" take away your thunder when they use the title too.

I kinda got the same feeling...for the OP's DH, it's OKAY to be called a "Doctor" because he "saves lives" (as another poster put it)...but a "Doctor" who *only* studied sociology...well...they're "not worthy"...just the impression I got from the OP's post.

 

[Hedy]

I think it's pretentious, but it's their choice. I also think it's pretentious for your husband to love being "the doctor"

 

[auntpolly]

I prefer to be called Maestro

Only if people will start calling me Lovey like I've asked them to a million times !!!

 

[aprilgail2]

No, I feel its pretentious