Do you talk about people behind their back?

[In a hurry]

So, another thread today was discussing this in another context and was obliviated, but I am still wondering at what some had to say.

I, personally talk about people all of the time. The good, the bad, and the ugly, and it isn't necessarily to their face. My husband hears about all of the ying yangs that I encounter, my mom does, and many of my girlfriends do too. I have never felt the need to let the less than intelligent female at AT&T know that I think she is an imbecile. But I will talk about my frustration with her to the GF I meet at lunch! I disagree with many posters here to one degree or another, and my husband hears about them in the evening. So what is the difference of talking about people on another board?

Or, am I the only one who talks about everyone I know? I have way too many girlfriends to believe that is the case!

eta: I don't know the other place talked about in the other thread! This subject is merely interesting to me.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

It depends. I have a couple close girlfriends that I'll gossip with, but even then I won't divulge everything. I try not to be nasty about things, but I can't say that I never have. My dh hears it all - but it's safe because I know it will never go farther then him. I think we're all guilty of doing it from time to time - but I'm not proud of it.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Everyone talks about people behind their backs.

 

[noseybuddy]

I have and do on occassion. Doesn't everybody at some point and time in their life? I can't believe that there is somebody that doesn't do this.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I don't say things about other people that I wouldn't be willing to say to their face. And this is what I was going to say on the other thread, but it got yanked while I was in the midst of posting. I may say things on this board, but I have also told the person I'm talking about to them personally. And in my case, b/c of my dh taking over my persona here and writing a funny, albeit embarrassing thread, my relationship with my dh is being talked about on another board about how awful he is and how horrible our relationship must be - all of which is really false. other than his lack of housekeeping skills, which I have addressed here and have shown him my thread, we have a great relationship. and he has access to my name, etc. b/c I have told him he can read anything he wants here, including my threads, b/c I'm not threatened in any way.

as I'm not threatened by the other board. I just find it fascinating that those who feel the need to talk about others are too wimpy to do it to the person's face. if you are as right as you think you are, then have the guts to say what you feel to that person.

but for me, I have confidence in my real family, real friends and real life not to be affected by this.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

Everyone talks about people behind their backs.

Kinda begs the question: why bother asking?

 

[Tigger_Magic]

I just find it fascinating that those who feel the need to talk about others are too wimpy to do it to the person's face. if you are as right as you think you are, then have the guts to say what you feel to that person.

Sort of hard to do this on the Internet -- the "do it to the person's face" thingie. Unless both parties have web cams...

 

[phorsenuf]

I think its just human nature to talk about other people.
I also think it happens on other boards because most people here don't want to step on any toes whether it's to keep their image up or fear of being banned.

 

[In a hurry]

OK. I was in the midst of posting this question, too.

I guess that I do say things about people that I have no need to say to their face. I guess I think that "joe blow" has no need to know what I really think about his opinion about whatever. But, it is still nice to talk it over with people who believe what I believe. I don't know if that makes sense or not!

I'm sorry that you read some things that hurt/offended you, btw. I don't know why anyone would point that out to you.

 

[In a hurry]

Kinda begs the question: why bother asking?

I asked because I am nosey! Some appeared to say that they would never do such a thing, and it was so immature, etc. I am curious whether they are able to maintain that in real life, or if it is just a feeling about posting on this message board.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Sort of hard to do this on the Internet -- the "do it to the person's face" thingie. Unless both parties have web cams...

I think you knew what I meant Tigger - in a forum where the person being talked about can respond if they so wish. By using the other forum, there is no way to do so.

 

[RadioNate]

Of course I do. I discuss things with my parents, vent to my DH and do general gossipy things with my friends but I generally don't say things that I wouldn't say to their face. If something gets back to someone and is taken out of context I usually correct it and if they are still offended I apoligize especially if I was frustrated and just venting when I said it.

 

[In a hurry]

Of course I do. I discuss things with my parents, vent to my DH and do general gossipy things with my friends but I generally don't say things that I wouldn't say to their face. If something gets back to someone and is taken out of context I usually correct it and if they are still offended I apoligize especially if I was frustrated and just venting when I said it.

Now, see that is where you are so much nicer than I! I have looked that person in the eye and out and out told them I thought they were lying through their teeth! I use up most of my tact in the classroom...

 

[ZachnElli]

Oh yeah, I talk about others behind their back, especially my in-laws! LOL! Well, mostly my in-laws! I just moved down the street from my bil and sil and my sil and I can really go at it about this crazy family we married into! As for the other board and "saying it to your face", they can say things on other boards that you cannot say here. It's either censored or you'll get banned or the person posting it might already be banned!

 

[Tigger_Magic]

I think you knew what I meant Tigger - in a forum where the person being talked about can respond if they so wish. By using the other forum, there is no way to do so.

You are right... I'm just a little bored and it makes me obstinately obtuse at times.

To address your point (and to display my stranglehold of the obvious), it is not always possible to respond in every forum as one may wish to respond. Most forums have rules and guidelines regarding posting. Because of that, some forums have arisen that allow practically absolute freedom of expression within legal boundaries. People can get things off their chest there in a way that would probably get them banned from other forums.

And it's quite possible the individual doesn't care if the other person responds or not. Sometimes a vent is just a vent...

 

[Michie]

Of course I do. I discuss things with my parents, vent to my DH and do general gossipy things with my friends but I generally don't say things that I wouldn't say to their face. If something gets back to someone and is taken out of context I usually correct it and if they are still offended I apoligize especially if I was frustrated and just venting when I said it.

But if 30 people have heard something out of context, how do you correct it? Isnt the damage already done?

 

[Disney Doll]

Sometimes

 

[Chicago526]

Only about In A Hurry....


Seriously, yes. Not excessivly, but when warented by the person's behavior, and to people who "care" about the person I'm talking about. But I never exagerate or lie, or do it just to paint a bad picture of the person. Usually, I'm talking to an interested third party and am either venting or asking for advice on how to handle said person.

 

[NMAmy]

Usually only to DH and it's when family members or co-workers have ticked me off somehow. It's safe with him--I know it won't get back to the other people. It allows me to vent without hurting anyone's feelings.

 

[hydster]

I have no problem saying what I think to anyone's face but sometimes it's impossible to tell people what you think of them on message boards due to the moderators and what is and isn't acceptable for the board and the posting guidelines . I wouldn't hesitate to tell someone what I thought anywhere but it isn't always feasible to do so without getting banned or getting the thread deleted.