Do you remember your childhood differently than your parents remember it?

[KimR]

My Dad vehemently denies he ever showed any favortism towards my sister. I cannot even comprehend how he can think this because it was always so obvious to everyone. It was as though he never even made an effort to hide it so I cannot understand how he could be in denial about it. I mean I'm grown, I'm over it, we're not close but we get along so what the heck is the big deal?

It really makes me wonder how my children will view their childhood. If there is one good thing that came out of the way my Dad treated me it was to make me realize what NOT to do with my children. I truly believe with all my heart I am doing a good job in making them feel loved, confident and secure (just like my Dad thought he did with me???). I cannot bear the thought that one day they will look back on their relationship with me the way I look back on mine with him. I mean, I know I am not making the same mistakes he did, but what other ones am I making that I am not even aware of?

 

[HaleyB]

If I didn't have brothers and a sister I might wonder if I were nuts. My mother not only remembers everything wrong, she denies a lot of stuff ever happened and gets really upset if we bring it up. As if it is somehow wrong of us to remember things that she does not. I think she thinks we make stuff up just to tease her! I had a good childhood and most of what we (the children) remember is just funny stuff from our point of view. There are also the things I remember because they were tramatic to me- I don't expect other people to remember that stuff. Like the time I lost my doll.

I bet when my kids grow up they will remember that Mom kept making hot dogs for dinner because she lost track of time on the DIS. I better go...

 

[KimR]

On a slightly different note, I have a distinct memory of falling off our horse when I was 4 years old. Both of my parents insist it never happened and I must have dreamt it, but I know it wasn't a dream. Dreams are not that detailed. I remember I had a sucker in my mouth and when the horse reared up I fell of and I distinctly remember the taste of the sucker mixed with the blood in my mouth. Fortunately I wasn't badly hurt.

Then later that day I was visiting friends that lived near the ranch where we kept our horse. They had heard about the accident and asked me how I was doing and I explained about the sucker. They apparently thought I was upset about losing my sucker because they offered me another. I remember I politely took it even though I didn't really want it because the memory of the fall and the taste of my blood mixed with the sucker made me sick.

That's not the kind of thing a 4-year-old would dream and yet, neither of my parents remember this incident which makes no sense. How could they possibly forget something like that. Furthermore they have both pointed out inconsistencies in the story: my mother insists that she would never let me ride a horse with a sucker in my mouth and that the horse we had never reared up. Though I am not 100% sure it was our horse (I often rode other horses) and also, from what I remember, the horse was startled (by a dog, I think) and surely any horse would rear up if startled? I don't know...the entire thing really confuses and I don't understand how I could have such a vivid memory of such an event and neither of my parents remember it.

 

[DisneyGoddess]

I am glad to know I am not the only one who had a mother who claims my childhood was better than it was, and I must be making things up - because she doesn't remember. I guess that is because she is an alcoholic and is no where near recovering. Maybe someday she will wake up and get help that will allow her to finally apologize.

I am not holding my breath.

 

[ktpool]

Neither my cousin or myself remember much of our childhood -we were just talking about it a while ago. My Mom thinks everything was great, even though she married 4 times and moved us every year. She said I turned out all right - yeah, but my younger brother almost didn't. She doesn't understand why I am adament about my kids staying in one school and making lifelong friends. I never had that kind of security - the chance to be a cheerleader or homecoming queen or voted funniest.

I also remember my Mom comparing me to my cousin and saying, "Well, it is a good thing you are smart." My cousin is very pretty. My Mom denies every saying it, but, honestly, would I make that up??? I also remember her having relations with one of my step dads in the same room I was in (we shared a 1 bedroom apt) when I was like 6 or so, I think. I clearly rmember crying because I was so scared and her just coming over and being like nothing was wrong and asking me why I was crying....ummmm, you are doing strange things in the bed next to me. I cannot even imagine doing that to my children.

Mostly, I now avoid talking about anything too deep with her - we get along okay, but I don't want to dredge up too many memories.

 

[tiff211]

My mom was always trying to start a business or come up with some way to make money. She was horrible with money though, she would have us lie and say she wasn't home. My and my Step brother spent much of our childhood babysitting. Mom was very strict with me so I would spend anytime I could at my BF house.

We NEVER went on vacation, that is why I think I am so obsessed with making sure my girls have the memories of Disney and wherever else we go.

She apologizes for not being there all the time but I don't think she gets the harm it did because she is not really there for her grandkids!

 

[Disney Doll]

I'll bet if you asked them, your parents would have different memories. I thought my parents had the same memories as me until I got to talking with them. Times I remember as wonderful "50's family type of times" they remember as some of their worst times. Wow, it blew me away. I had this idyllic life in my memories and talking with them made me see that kids perspectives are totally different. We might remember the most beautiful Christmas Tree that was (in our minds) 12 feet tall, but in actuality it was lucky to be 6 feet and spindly cause it was a last minute purchase and money was tight. I'm glad I have my perfect memories and it gives me hope for my DD, because I know I fail all too often.

I am sure they would, but I guess my point is that I felt secure and loved enough so I never picked up on their anxieties. I guess they were good at hiding the bad stuff from us so we could enjoy a truly idyllic, carefree childhood. We never had to "deal" with stuff that young kids shoudln't have to deal with...no divorces, no beatings, no infidelities, no parents having sex in the same room with us, we never moved (my parents still live in my childhood home).

And for all of that, I am eternally grateful, because it has allowed me to be a pretty "together" adult.

 

[RitaZ.]

I guess so... One time when my family was visiting, one of my kids didn't want to eat what we were having for dinner. My mom said that I should just let him eat ice cream because that is what she did when we didn't want to eat our dinner. I asked my brothers if they remember mom giving us ice cream when we didn't like dinner, one of them said, "I don't remember it being quite that way." Yeah, exactly how I remembered it!

 

[Tasty]

My mother neglected us terribly. We were a welfare family. Divorced parents in the 70's. Dirt poor. Sometimes went without eating, electricity turned off. Filthy house. Now 40 years later my mom goes on about how wonderful she was as a mother, how she used to make homemade bread and fart rainbows. My brother and I just stare at each other in disbelief. If we remind her that she left us home alone with no electricity (I was 11 my brother was 9) while she went out with her friends she gets crazy angry and pitches a fit. I just let her live in her fantasy land. We had a horrible childhood and she thinks she was Mrs freaking beaver cleaver.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think my dad and I remember things the same. (My mom passed away when I was 27, but I'm guessing she did too.) As far as I remember, I had a good 1970's childhood.

 

[SallySkelington]

This is the running joke in our family. My mom doesn't remember our childhood. She didn't remember I had chicken pox or that my sister had her appendix out (7 days in the hospital). So, I can definitely say we remember things differently! And no she doesn't have any medical reason for not remembering.

Same thing with my dad!

One of my earliest memories was from pre-school. I stuck one of my fingers in an outlet at nap time (yes, I was quite the intelligent child back in the day ). Of course I shocked the absolute snot out of myself. My dad has no memory of it, but my mom and eldest sister insist it happened. That's just an example though. For the most part I remember having a very happy childhood, which my parents agree.

 

[kimblebee]

Old thread, but I'll play..

I don't think I remember things much differently than my parents and my siblings. My parents were strict but not overly so. I am the oldest of four so there are many, many stories from us siblings.

I feel like I had a good childhood and that I gave my daughter the same.

 

[ols386]

Zombie thread.

I think I remember my childhood about the same as my parents.

 

[superme80]

My parents and I remember my childhood pretty much the same. According to my sister SHE had a horrible childhood. Full of emotional abuse and neglect. Ummm..so sweetie. You are just a pathological liar.

 

[indimom]

We remember things the same. My parents have forgotten some of the little things, but they were busy trying to raise us and work and maintain a home.
I won't say my childhood was all sunshine and roses, but my parents were/are good people, and they never abused or neglected us.

 

[rastahomie]

Wow, a lot of you people had really terrible childhoods, and your stories make me ache.

My childhood wasn't perfect, by any means, but my mother and stepfather tried their best. Sometimes they failed. But no parent is perfect.

Both would say exactly the same thing. So I guess in that respect they remember my and my siblings' childhoods the same as we do.

However, my mom especially is lax on some of the details. For example, about a year ago she "discovered" St. Augustine on Trip Advisor and decided she and my stepdad needed to go. I told her that we had been there, as a family, back in 1980-something. I even listed off the things we did and told her about our carriage ride with the spaced-out Rasta driver who totally got high before and after our ride. She remembered none of it. She and her husband just got back from there a few weeks ago, and she kept gushing about what a beautiful city it is (side note: it absolutely is!) and she's so glad she found it. I'm like, "Mom, you've been there before! In 1980-something!" SMH

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Generally. I mean, I don't recall specific things the same - like which vacation was first, or which dog died when - but the atmosphere was a great one. And I believe we all remember that the same.

 

[tvguy]

I don't recall there being any difference in my memories from my mom. My dad passed away just before I turned 10 and she worked full time, and raised me. She did the best she could. When I had kids, who are now adults, I realized what a great job she did.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I would say my mom and I remember it the same

 

[DisneyOma]

My childhood wasn't the worst, but I remember my mother as not being a loving mother (besides being very strict). On the other hand, my mother seems to remember my childhood as being quite happy . Every once in a while, we'll talk about things from my youth and I'll say how awful I felt, or how mean I think she was, and she looks at me like I have two heads. People always say that you'll understand when you have children. But, now that I am a mother, I still don't understand. I feel like I show DD how much I love and cherish her every day! That being said, I wonder how she'll feel about her childhood when she grows up Anybody else have different memories than their parents?

Just had a conversation with my mom, who was in total denial about a really bad incident with my dad - he was drunk, driving, hit a girl. She was taken to the hospital and released, supposedly no injuries, but later that night her spleen ruptured. She survived, and they couldn't blame my dad because the hospital had checked her out and released her. My mother told me all of this when it happened, 30+ years ago. Now, all of a sudden, the story has changed. The girl didn't go to the hospital, he hit the car door, not the girl, etc. So many excuses for the whole thing! My dad died 7 years ago, so I don't know what's going on - dementia, or just her usual PITA way of talking to me. She's also mad that I think the friend of hers that got jail time for drunk driving (multiple offenses) should be treated like a criminal - how dare they say he's a drug addict? Anyways, I'm sure my childhood memories are not in line with what she thinks they should be. Her drunken parties, all the times I ran away, the time she handed me a box and said that's all I was allowed to take with me - what would fit in the one box - when we moved yet again.