Do you punish for bad grades?

[Bearvet]

I have a friend who punishes for bad grades. Her son is constantly grounded, having things taken away, etc. Guess what? His grades have not improved! Punishment really doesn't help IMO.

Our 2 oldest have always gotten good grades, but our 3rd DS's grades started slipping. It wasn't "cool" to be smart, so he stopped turning in homework, even though all test grades were A's.

DH and I felt the best approach was to be "in his face" and contacted all of his teachers (middle school). It turns out that we could request a bi-weekly report from the school where each teacher gives us updates on how he was doing. DS hated this, but knew we were serious. Grades went back up and his teachers knew they had parental support in working with DS.

I think you really have to find out why they are getting bad grades and go from there. I really think my friend's son needs extra help with schoolwork, not punishment, but it's not my place to suggest that.

 

[clovergirl5]

I have only had to take away dd13 nintendo ds once for a bad grade because she spent her time playing it instead of getting her homework done and turning it in. Never had to do it again.
All 4 kids get very good grades and dd13 has been on the honor roll for almost 4 years straight. If bad grades come home on their report card, things get taken away, like gameboys, ds's or cellphone.
In turn, we do something special at the end of the school year for all their hard work and excellent grades. We will usually go on a weekend trip to a waterpark.

 

[Ember]

I'm the oddball. I don't punish for bad grades. I figure it's their grades.

I must admit, this thread was really eye opening. It would never have occurred to me to punish for bad grades (or to reward for good ones)... My mum didn't care what my grades were and I knew from an early age that I was responsible for my own learning. If I asked for help, she was always there to help or to find me help if she wasn't able to, but my performance in school was my own look out. I knew full well that if I didn't work in high school I wouldn't get into university. I had goals for myself and I worked for them, to the best of my ability.

I was also solely responsible for my attendance, from about grade 6 on. I didn't have to go to school if I didn't want. But again, I knew that if I didn't go that I'd miss work and my grades would suffer. I knew both the short and long term consequences of my actions.

 

[hereyago]

In my DD11's school system: For middle school and high school students, parents can go online and see grades. I can see homework given daily, what they did in class, what scores they received.

And for the elementary kids, DD's elementary school would have Thursday folder where you can see the kid's progress or problem areas.

I do not punish for bad grades. I would try to figure out what was going on. Now, DD also knows I will not go out last minute and buy stuff for a project she should have had done.

But I think every school system should have the online thing, now it's another thing if parents choose not to look at it. I started a thread about my DD's friend being in the Talented and Gifted program and has been getting less then stellar grades. Her DM had the same access to online, but never looked at it and was shocked when the interim came out.

DD11 never has failed a grade, but I must say with this online program, she is very aware that I check and the first semester she made honor roll, which she has only done once before. She had terrible organization skills and I would see her do the work, but she would lose it or just not turn it in. All that has changed as well.

DD's school even has certain days of the week kids can stay after and get help from either their teacher or a new program with tutors.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

We punish for poor grades on REPORT CARDS. If DD gets a bad grade on a test/assignment I expect to KNOW about it so that we can make sure she gets whatever help needed to bring her grade back to where it should be. You won't get punished if you are honestly trying and just having an issue with understanding the work. Noone can expect to bring home excellent grades ALL the time and we make sure the girls know that.

We recently got her interim report which was As and Bs except one C..the kid is on honor roll but we do allow one C without consequences lol. However that one C was one point away from a D (the previous report card she got a B in this class?!) so THAT is a big deal to me. If it was a mid level or high C I wouldn't have blinked. Because it was so close to a D I asked how she got such a low grade since every assignment we get back from HER is an A or B! She "didn't know" so I emailed her teacher and found out she has been slacking off in class talking to friends and not doing well on tests. She was put on groundation for two weeks that evening...not for the grade, but for lying to us about why it was low...she KNEW she was slacking but decided to play the I Dont Know card..bad move kiddo. Lying will get you into HUGE trouble in this house...more than the truth every time.

Do I push my girls to get good grades, heck yea. I know we will need to instill good study/work habits now while she is in 6th grade to prepare for high school.

Plus I know what my girls are capable of and there is no excuse not to live up to that potential. I want them to go to college and do well.

 

[rabyoga]

It would seem to me that a punishment involving completing the assignments over holiday break would be....just as effective. Even if it doesn't get her points back with the teacher.

She had one night to complete all her missing assignments before holiday break- I've never seen her work so hard. I told her if she had actually done the work, she wouldn't have to do this. I also told her that she was lucky- I know a lot of teachers don't accept late work (I don't from my 2nd graders- although they don't really have much in the way of homework).