Do you punish for bad grades?

[Becky2005]

I'm the oddball. I don't punish for bad grades. I figure it's their grades.

It also probably stems from the one D I got in High School Geometry that I worked *so* hard to get and was thrilled I didn't flunk the class. It wasn't even a required class way back when, I only took it because Math is weird and for some odd reason they require you to take Geometry before you can take Alegebra II (They STILL have it in this order & I STILL don't get why you can't go from Algebra I to Algebra II & have to throw that confusing Geometry in there in the middle!!). I managed to do just fine in Algebra II which nowadays I wouldn't even be able to take since you have to get a C or higher in. My DD struggles in Algebra, she actually is taking it in 2 year span, so is in the 2nd year of it, but she is already helping her friends with their Geometry homework & she's not even in the class yet but she finds that easy.

My Dad gave me a hard time about the D, probably the only time I've snapped at my dad but I was so ticked. My brother got worse grades than me, they weren't even sure he was going to actually graduate, yet here I was normally an A/B student and get grief for a D that I actually worked for. Most of the A/B's I got, I didn't even have to try all that hard in the classes. The only class I could even tell you my grade in from High School is the Geometry one because I worked the hardest in that class and was actually happy it wasn't an F.

I do look at the grades and basically just tell the kids to pull it up if it's low. However, I found out quickly in the middle school here, the progress reports are wonky. They mean very little. My DD was getting something like a D or F on a progress report & 3 weeks later when the report card comes home, she has an A in the class. No way could she have pulled that low of a grade up to an A in that short amount of time. Basically, there were assignments listed but not graded by progress report time.

In a way they are self-motivated though because to be on most activities, you have to at least maintain C averages per the school or you can't practice/perform -- therefore if they want to do their activities, they have to keep the grades up automatically.

 

[supercarrie]

I don't have children, but I would have to consider each situation individually. Poor effort, absolutely punish for. However, if the student is doing their absolute best, and still struggling, you should be looking at ways of helping them (i.e. extra tutoring, speaking to the teacher, etc) rather than simply punishing.

One of my worst memories from high school is the one C+ I got in Pre-Calculus. I had straight A's in every other class (all APs except Pre-Cal, never made it to Calculus AP) but struggled in math. Part of this was down to a terrible Algebra II teacher, who didn't teach well, setting me up to struggle. (She also had really easy tests - so it wasn't apparent until it was too late that I didn't learn what I should have.) The other main factor was that I missed weeks of school and was in and out of the hospital due to mutiple kidney stones. With the other classes, I could teach myself, but with math, I really needed to be in the classroom learning it.

My parents were very supportive and understanding. We ended up hiring me a tutor (I was blessed that they could afford it) and cared much more about me putting in the effort than in my final grade.

Simply assuming "my child should always get straight As/Bs, no questions asked" doesn't seem like a very effective parenting philosophy.

 

[Holly]

If it is because they aren't putting in enough effort, then yes.


My daughter is a freshman and she just got her cell phone back after being grounded off of it for over a month. She failed Health (Health!?!) for poor homework completion.
I took her phone away, she complained every day but was diligent about her homework and brought the grade up to a B.

 

[dislaney]

I usually try to find out if there is a reason for the low grade and then go from there. If I feel or hear from the teacher that it's lack of effort then yup your grounded. If they are trying as hard as they can and still have a bad grade, they wouldn't be grounded. That would mean that they are doing any available extra credit, turning in all homework and assignments and studying then I don't ground. Fortunately I don't have to ground often!

 

[sunlver]

I am the OP of this..and you are right.. I guess its the punishment for lack of effort over the grade.

Today the kids recieved their progress report, which isn't their report card, it is the half way point.
My sons Spanish 3 went from D to B
Honors English went from D to a C

He knows he still won't get back his things until final report card, because that was the punishment. BUT.. I knew he was capable of better. He gets too caught up in his friends and hanging out and texting 500 times a day(Ok not 500 ). So him having the extra time on his hands have proved to work

 

[momof5boys]

Yes I punish for no effort. One DS is in honors classes and has been struggling through chemistry, pulling off a C (no D's in this district, straight from C to F) he's trying hard, so no problem there. On the other hand DSS failed regular english, didn't turn in assignments which made him fail. He says it's his life, well I say it's my computer, video game system and cell phone contract. Needless to say it will be a very boring semester for someone!

 

[NewCrew42]

He says it's his life, well I say it's my computer, video game system and cell phone contract. Needless to say it will be a very boring semester for someone!

That's about what I said!

Your parents giveth and your parents taketh away.



Although it wasn't very funny at the time.

 

[disney1990]

Failing - depending on circumstances. B & Cs no -- they aren't failing grades.

 

[MrsPete]

Do you punish for bad grades?

Yes. My girls are teens, so I've had years to figure out their ability level. They are both capable of making all As and Bs in honors classes. If they don't earn those grades, then it's because they aren't trying.

In my classroom, it is rare-rare-rare that a student earns a D or an F without having 0s. When I say rare-rare-rare, I mean I usually go a whole school year without a student who falls into the category of doing everything and still making a bad grade.

Anyway, I see punishment for bad grades as a natural consequence. The world certainly punishes people for not working hard -- actually, it often punishes even those who DO work hard. So it's better for them to learn that lesson sooner rather than later.

So in our house, if you earn a bad grade, the natural consequence is that you need to spend more time studying. No computer, no TV, no phone, no outings with friends . . . having mom or dad check over your work, verifying with the teacher that everything's been done, studying with mom or dad for the next test/quiz . . . these are the natural consequences of a bad grade. My girls are independent and HATE to have us looking over their shoulders for grades. As such, they work hard to avoid it.

 

[SC Minnie]

I have mixed feelings about this. I am in the boat of punish for no effort not necessarly the bad grades.

 

[ZachnElli]

Yup, my 14 year DS is grounded right now for his D- in Spanish. He is absolutely capable of A/B work and even if it was a C, but it's not. He's nearly failing. And it is just repetition of vocab. words (that came straight from the teacher) and that is not hard. All he needs to do is 15-20 minutes of studying a day. We took away everything but TV and my bil and sil also grounded my niece for the same thing (the kids are same age, same school) and they ground her from everything! No tv, no cell, no internet, no friends, just school and activities. She has to read a book in her room during her free time.

 

[::Snow_White::]

My parents will punish for bad grades. If I get a C, my parents say that I get my computer and phone taken away and I'd be grounded until it was back to a B or A.

 

[Pigeon]

We haven't had really bad grades yet. If we see grades slipping a bit, say dd brings home a B, and if we think that it's because of a lack of effort on her part, we make sure she's working harder the following quarter by checking up on her more. My oldest is 12 and this has been all that's needed so far.

But if we got Cs or worse from an A student, yes, we'd punish by taking away something.

 

[donaldduck352]

Oh yes.There favorite things get took away.I still do it to my oldest DD who is in college,less money A week.But she lives at home so I'm not worried about her going without..

 

[jordansmomma]

Yes, I do. DS13 went from getting all A's to not caring at all. He just not caring about school, his grades or anything. He has lost his cell phone, internet, hanging out with friends, the Wii & TV in his room. He is grounded, he is fully capable of doing his work & getting good grades. He is just showing lack of motivation and doesn't care. I am going crazy, I just wish he would realize that HE NEEDS an education.

 

[rabyoga]

I just got a call yesterday from my daughter's teacher-she hasn't done 7 homework assignments. Therefore, she is failing advanced math. I asked her "why" she didn't do the homework- "I don't know". We've been through this before (last year), she hates the teacher and is "punishing" the teacher. I know I was the same way- if I hated the class/teacher I wouldn't give a darn about it. Then panicked when grades came out and I was failing. Yikes! My daughter will have a very blue Christmas- NO phone/computer and she must throughly clean her room.
I have no trouble if she actually tried and got a "0"; but not trying/caring is NOT an option.
Hopefully, she'll learn that this behavior only hurts her.. I know I almost didn't graduate with my class and couldn't get into the college of my choice cause of my grades.

 

[kellydizfan]

Yes we punish for bad grades. My oldest DD has pulled some stunts over the past couple of years. She is a Sophmore in High School. Will be 16 on Christmas Eve. She has had a problem with her French Teacher since 8th grade (she took excellerated French - basically 2 years in one). I can see her point to some extent as I feel the school is covering for this teacher - another long story. She managed a 72 in French and is in her 3rd year. She is in AP Global European History this year and is doing A+ work and also Honors English. Math and Science she was struggling with. Regents Math she just passed with a 65 I think it was and Regents Science was in the low 80's. She is capable of doing better work. We have a neighbor tutoring her in BIO and she went from low 80's to a 97 so far this marking period so that is paying off. The teacher moved her away from a good friend who doesn't believe in doing the work. She claims Geometry has gotten easier this quater. All her other grades are in the 90's so it is pulling her average down - yes she made Honor Roll but not High Honor Roll where she belongs. My middle DD is in 7th grade and I think she has learned big time not to make the mistakes her sister has done over the last couple of years. We preach School is important. My DS who is in 3rd grade is having a horrible time. Another story for another time. As I stated I agree with punishment as long as it fits the crime.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

We haven't hit that stage yet, as my son's in elementary school where the grading is different, but I'm not sure I'd punish for poor grades.

However, it sounds like the OP's child repeatedly lied about homework being completed. For that, I wouldn't hesitate to punish, and I think taking away the phone and the computer is quite reasonable.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I just got a call yesterday from my daughter's teacher-she hasn't done 7 homework assignments. Therefore, she is failing advanced math. I asked her "why" she didn't do the homework- "I don't know". We've been through this before (last year), she hates the teacher and is "punishing" the teacher. I know I was the same way- if I hated the class/teacher I wouldn't give a darn about it. Then panicked when grades came out and I was failing. Yikes! My daughter will have a very blue Christmas- NO phone/computer and she must throughly clean her room.
I have no trouble if she actually tried and got a "0"; but not trying/caring is NOT an option.
Hopefully, she'll learn that this behavior only hurts her.. I know I almost didn't graduate with my class and couldn't get into the college of my choice cause of my grades.

It would seem to me that a punishment involving completing the assignments over holiday break would be....just as effective. Even if it doesn't get her points back with the teacher.

 

[Tink9721]

I'm a junior in high school right now. I never get punished for bad grades, because my mom knows I actually try. If she sees me putting in the effort, she's okay with it. A lot of that is because of the classes I'm in. I'm not in AP or Honors classes, but I'm in hard classes. One of my friends has all A's and B's, but she's in lower classes. I'm in Algebra 2 right now and I'm in the C range, which is good for me because I'm terrible in math. At the beginning of this year I had the flu and missed about 8 days of school, so I was really behind, but amazingly I didn't get anything lower than a C on my first report card. I'm in the high chemistry class and I almost had to switch to low chem during first quarter because my teacher didn't think I was going to do well. I got around a 75 first quarter, now I have an 85 and I got 100's on the last two quizzes. So apparently my teacher was wrong I have an A in spanish, a B in english(British Lit. REALLY hard class in my school). And a D in economics, which I'm not proud of, but it's a college level class. I'm doing a lot better this year than I did last year, except for that D, but I still have 4 weeks to bring that up to at least a C.