Do you like your in-laws?

[gator75]

I HATE my in laws all of them on dh side starting with his parents and going right down the line to brother their crazy wives and kids. There are no words to describe these people. my mil is the biggest drama queen to ever walk the earth. fil is the same way only he is a controling jerk on top of it. To prove my point dh wanted to go to college, the only way he could go his parents told him was if the military paid for it and that meant off the the military. fil walked down to the recrutment office and enlisted dh into armed service of choice. ,but what they weren't counting on was dh meeting me , and so we quickly got him out of that situation and now he works for a petrolium comapny and is quite happy.

they also don't like ds because he is a boy. they already had 5 sons so they had enough of that and when he wasn't a girl well they wanted no part of it , and to us its better that way because i don't want them rubbing off on ds.They have grand daughters now and that is their main focus.

 

[scottishduffy]

Mostly yes.

FIL is a wonderful and dear man, as is his wife. Although he is not DHs bio-mom she is the woman that DH refers to as Mom. She raised him from the age of 3, and has earned that title years ago. A wonderful person!

Two BILs on this side are both very nice, as is the one SIL. Really could not ask for nicer relatives. His family and my family get along so we usually spend holidays together.

His bio-mom is a whole nuther story. She abandoned her two boys when DH was two years old. She never had custody of them nor bothered to see them much. But once he was an adult decided that she was now his Mother and DH owed it to her to treat her as such. She has done many thing and DH tries his best to be respectful toward her but still avoid her as much as possible. She lives in another country and flies into town once per year. One of her best antics was calling my parents two weeks before DH got married to tell them how I was ruining her sons life, had poor morals, and told my parents to call of the wedding. She called me all sorts of names to my parents.... I am really not sure how she thought this conversation would go. needless to say I don't like her very much.

On my side DH likes my parents. It is my brother who is a bit odd.... But I feel the same way toward him. My SIL here is nice, but she gives in to my brother way to much and let's him always have his way No matter how crazy.

 

[lspst8]

I would not choose to spend time with my DH's parents or sister if I wasn't married to him. Luckily, his sister moved 12 hours away, and his parents are not the type to socialize, so I don't have to see more than 2 or 3 times a year.

My DH's parents are just very isolated people. They both work, go to church, shop, go to movies and shows, but they don't have any friends. I've known my husband for almost 4 years, and I have never been in their house! My husband says that no one (other than family)has been inside the house since he was 8 or 9 years old. My husband will try to get them to go to dinner with us every few months, but his mom usually ends up canceling on us the day before. It's just a weird situation all around.

 

[Anna_Marie]

I don't like my MIL or my SIL. MIL resents me because I took her son away (in her eyes) and SIL is just an odd person. Even DH thinks she is odd and we avoid her as much as possible. MIL we will visit every 2 weeks or so - how her mood is depends on how well the visits go.

 

[ThisIsJason]

My in-laws are great. Only see them once a year for two weeks or so. Michigan to Japan (or vice-versa) isn't cheap. After those two weeks we do start to get on each others nerves. Never really had any problems with them.

My Grandmother in-law (who lives with my in-laws) hates my guts. For two reasons: I am white, and I am apparently the one who dropped the bombs. We got into it in public one and I even told her I wish I had better aim and hit her. That got me some looks.

 

[punkin]

FIL: He's terrified of me so we get along just fine. He's had multiple wives/GFs over the years, but they are pretty much interchangeable in my eyes.

MIL: Getting much better after 27 years of knowing her. Her current spouse is actually wonderful and is having a positive effect on her.

Both BILs. DH's brother and my DSis's(who died) husband: Can't stand either one of them, but love the kids, so have to bite my tongue and keep it civil so I can at least have some access to the kids.

 

[SaraJayne]

My FIL passed away a few years ago and I still miss him.

I adore the rest of DH's family (MIL and his siblings/spouses), except for one brother's wife that he recently married. She's just a bit over the top and resents the fact I've been in the family for 15 years, while she's only been around for two.

When I read all of the supposed drama that happens with in-laws, it makes me appreciate mine so much more.

 

[Carnie]

My FIL - yes.

My MIL - she's rotten to my son, treats my stepD like gold, and after she went through my phone on Thanksgiving to "prove" I was cheating on her son (um, no) she can go eat a giant bag of chewy.

 

[hereyago]

FIL: He's terrified of me so we get along just fine.

But hey, if it works for you, go on girl!!!!!!!

 

[clori]

My mil was a wonderful lady as was her mother. Unfortunately she passed away when my dd10 was just 12 months old but I know she would have loved my kids. While it was an honor to name dd6 after her I really wish she would have been with us instead. We had the priviledge of having mil's mother with us until my youngest was almost a year. I'm saddened that my niece born this month won't get to know them either.

My fil started getting a tad off after mil died. It turned out that he ended up with early onset alzheimers and Parkinsons around the same time. While my kids love grandpa they don't really know the kind person he is but rather know him as someone who doesn't always know who they are. However my kids have always been told how much their grandparents loved them.

My bil/sil are nice but probably not the people I would hang out with otherwise. We are just different - they are more the wealthy, snobbish type. For instance they just had a baby and we are visiting next week. I have sweaters made by great grams that I want to give my new niece. My sil will like it too my face but turn around and throw it out for being used after I leave.

On my side dh is used to my family. He will do things like help my elderly parents around the house. There is plenty of love between my family and dh. However dh didn't grow up in a noisy household, have two parents that can't hear that well etc so isn't necessarily used to the noise. Considering no one liked my sis's ex they all love the fact that my dh is a hard worker, helps out alot, doesn't really drink etc. When I was first out of college I lived with my brother/sil and dh now includes my sil's mother/sister into the extended family mix.

Oh to add to the family we have my dniece 22 half brother and sister (9,8) who visit frequently. My sister who is technically nothing to them has taken them on vacation etc. There mother treats my sister like an aunt to the kids and also has no issues with me doing things with them and my kids etc. If we are all together my parents would never think of buying say lunch or a small toy for my kids and not for them as well and basically treat them like grandchildren. My niece's father passed away a year ago. While dh plays with all of the kids he'll occasionally play with the boy so we can do girly things like our nails that he isn't interested in doing.

 

[luvsJack]

I know that a lot of you really and trully have the in-laws from hell. And a lot of have legitimate reasons for hating your in-laws.

But I am really curious about something, I just wonder if we had a thread asking all of our in-laws about US what kind of answers would there be?

If I had to answer similar questions about my dil's, I know the kind of flaming I would get so I will keep my opinions to myself. But, everyone should remember that most family relationships are a two way street. Whatever it is you dislike or even hate about your in-laws, they may have the same strong feelings about something YOU do too.

I have tried very hard to just remember that Dh's family is MY family (just as they treat me) and my family is HIS family. We don't really think in terms of "in-laws". So, even when one side or the other has done something to make someone angry, we just get through it and go on and remain family.

My first mil was one of the mil's from hell but even she was "mama jo" not mil. It just helped to think that way.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I love and care about my mother in law, and over the years (18+), I've come to realize why she is the way she is, but boy has she said some cruel things to me and treated me like crap over the years.

She recently had surgery and I helped her before and after when she was sick. Since then, she's been very nice to me. Let's hope it lasts.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Yep, I love my MIL and FIL. And I adored DH's grandmother and miss her to this day.

As for my BILs and SIL, well we don't see them that much. I have one BIL and one SIL that I like. The rest I can do without. Of course, DH feels the same way so it makes life VERY easy.

 

[ols386]

My ex-MIL I didn't always get along with. We had periods of times where we were fine, and then other times, not so much. However, I will say that during times when we did have our problems, I don't think it was ALL her or ALL me. I think it was both of us. I think sometimes she did or said things to me that were wrong, but I may have triggered it. Same thing for me. There were times when I was wrong, but she triggered it. Course, I didn't actually realize this until later, after dh and I were divorced. Sometimes years later, one can see things more clearly.

None of us are perfect. Sometimes we do and say things that we shouldn't. I think that's human nature.

I actually think that ex-MIL and I were too much alike in some ways. Maybe, at times, it was like looking in a mirror. If I saw things in her that were like me, I didn't like it, and vise-versa.

I don't hold any hard feelings for her.

 

[wenrob]

I know that a lot of you really and trully have the in-laws from hell. And a lot of have legitimate reasons for hating your in-laws.

But I am really curious about something, I just wonder if we had a thread asking all of our in-laws about US what kind of answers would there be?

If I had to answer similar questions about my dil's, I know the kind of flaming I would get so I will keep my opinions to myself. But, everyone should remember that most family relationships are a two way street. Whatever it is you dislike or even hate about your in-laws, they may have the same strong feelings about something YOU do too.

I have tried very hard to just remember that Dh's family is MY family (just as they treat me) and my family is HIS family. We don't really think in terms of "in-laws". So, even when one side or the other has done something to make someone angry, we just get through it and go on and remain family.

My first mil was one of the mil's from hell but even she was "mama jo" not mil. It just helped to think that way.

I've thought about this a LOT when it comes to FIL. FWIW I do not hate him but it's quite clear he doesn't even remotely like me. He's been kind to me exactly three times in over twenty years. He has come to my home (an 8hr drive) unannounced, multiple times and not uttered a.single.word to me. From the grapevine I know he's said some pretty nasty things about me. I know it takes two but I honest to God do not know what I ever did to inspire such venom. I have kept my mouth shut, he is my husband's father after all. It was DH who finally cut ties (as have all of his sibs) when his mental cruelty began to extend to our kids. My eldest DD was crushed when he literally turned his back on her and walked away. He NEVER gets to get to that again. Frankly he's welcome to say and feel however he wants about me, I'll never darken his doorstep again.

My SIL, pretty sure she says some of things I say about her. No secret we hate each others guts. She tried to scam my grandmother out of 20 grand, two years later I'm still not sure I wouldn't hurt her if I saw her. (I'm the one who took Grandma to a lawyer to get things fixed) Oddly, I get along with my bro just fine and I make no secret about how I feel.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

Yes, I do. We come from different worlds, but I have always been treated well. I very much admire my MIL's strength. She is amazing. She is 80, very independent and takes care of my basically invalid FIL by herself.

I am in the same situation with my in-laws. I love them and hate that they live so far away and we are unable to help them as much as I feel we need to.

 

[luvsJack]

I've thought about this a LOT when it comes to FIL. FWIW I do not hate him but it's quite clear he doesn't even remotely like me. He's been kind to me exactly three times in over twenty years. He has come to my home (an 8hr drive) unannounced, multiple times and not uttered a.single.word to me. From the grapevine I know he's said some pretty nasty things about me. I know it takes two but I honest to God do not know what I ever did to inspire such venom. I have kept my mouth shut, he is my husband's father after all. It was DH who finally cut ties (as have all of his sibs) when his mental cruelty began to extend to our kids. My eldest DD was crushed when he literally turned his back on her and walked away. He NEVER gets to get to that again. Frankly he's welcome to say and feel however he wants about me, I'll never darken his doorstep again.

My SIL, pretty sure she says some of things I say about her. No secret we hate each others guts. She tried to scam my grandmother out of 20 grand, two years later I'm still not sure I wouldn't hurt her if I saw her. (I'm the one who took Grandma to a lawyer to get things fixed) Oddly, I get along with my bro just fine and I make no secret about how I feel.

How sad!! He sounds like a very cruel man! I guess some people are just born that way for some reason.

As frustrated as I get with one of my dil's, I could never be cruel to her or treat her badly in anyway. She is the person my son loves and that alone makes her family.


Sounds like your brother knows that what you say and how you feel about your sil is completely justified!

 

[grafxgirl]

I love my in-laws! I can't say I've ever had any problems with them. They are wonderful grandparents who take the kids regularly, and do things with them and for us all the time. It was my mother-in-law that introduced us to Disney 7 years ago, now we're just as obsessed as she is!

 

[ReneeA]

I love my in-laws. My FIL is a wonderful, kind gentleman who would do anything for anyone. I consider DH's sister to be my best friend (after my own sister), and I love both of his brothers (but one more than the other ).

One brother is married to someone I am not fond of at all - and the feelings are mutual. We went 10 years without muttering much more than "hi" and "bye" to each other. When I was pregnant with my DD, DS was less than a year old. When DH announced our pregnancy, she said, "What? Wasn't the first one good enough for you both?" Nice...since the entire family doted on DS. I assumed it was because they were childless after more than 15 years of marriage, and not for lack of trying. They did end up having one baby a couple years ago, but are done due to advanced age. Either way...it's been years and years of snide comments like that one and I choose to ignore it. She doesn't really come to family gatherings so she's not that difficult to ignore.

 

[powellrj]

Love my DDIL and my DSIL. I have no idea where one BIL is while I know where the other one is, DH is the only one to have any contact with him. Both my DMIL and DFIL are gone and while we got along, we were never close.