Do You Let Your Kids Win at Games?

[CathrynRose]

Nope.

And I even flaunt it a bit ....

Some of this:

A little of this:

Always followed with this:

Sorry - too competitive to let them win.

 

[tkd lisa]

When they were little, I let them win. Now we play more evenly.

But I'm really good at trivial pursuit, so we usually play that I have to be on the pie squares to get a piece, while the kids just have to answer the question right. When they were little, I'd make the questions multiple choice. No one wants to play if they NEVER have a chance to win. As they've gotten older, we adjust the rule to keep it fairly even (for DS, he has to be on the pie square for about half the categories now).

At scrabble, I'll let some words slide if they're fairly close. Example, I let him turn pod into ipod even though it really wasn't a legal word. But we then added a b to make it bipod later.

DD doesn't really like games. We usually end up with outburst or uno when she plays, and those are just whoever wins, wins.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I would coach a child through a game when they're young. Once they learn it, we're on equal footing. Losing is a GOOD thing. Builds character.

Hey Blondie...were there hurricane winds holding your son up like that?? Or is that trick photography??

 

[mickeyfan2]

Yeah, I probably should have helped him in his strategy a bit more so that he would have won a couple more than the one or two, but it was a situation where he would be doing fine, and then at the last minute miss a move. Of course I could have not "seen" the win, I suppose. See, I'm on about the level of a 6yo for some of these games. We're playing Battleship later so he'll probably wup me at that.

For me I am great at strategy games, so I might bend more and for older ages too. I even have to throw games with adults so they will want to play with me again.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

For me I am great at strategy games, so I might bend more and for older ages too. I even have to throw games with adults so they will want to play with me again.

I have memories of playing checkers with my Dad when I was little. He was such a good player and would never let me win, at least that is my memory. Maybe when I was first learning he did and I managed to forget that. I don't ever remember winning a game, however, and I'm betting if he were still alive he'd still be winning!


Mental note to self: Don't play strategy games with Mickeyfan2!!!

 

[mickeyfan2]

Mental note to self: Don't play strategy games with Mickeyfan2!!!

Don't worry I will throw some games for you.

 

[puffkin]

I think that learning how to win and lose should be learned at an early age, so I always play to win (with my nieces, my son is too young to play games yet). Exceptions are made when learning a new game, but I don't believe you should ever let a kid win, they should earn it on their own. My youngest niece behaves terribly when she loses or is losing a game, because people always let her win. I think that is a terrible lesson to learn.

 

[Buckalew11]

I would coach a child through a game when they're young. Once they learn it, we're on equal footing. Losing is a GOOD thing. Builds character.

Hey Blondie...were there hurricane winds holding your son up like that?? Or is that trick photography??

Everyone would always let DD win except my mom and me. I guess I learned that from her. You have to learn to lose and be a good loser and if you let them win all the time that can't happen. DH is teaching DD to play chess now and he has his ways of teaching her strategy.

And Blondie, how did you DS DO that???
I had a client who took pics of DD one day and then she doctored them up. She sent me one in an email that was DD walking on top of the swingset!! It looked sooo real! Her email said I'd better watch that daredevel DD of mine while I'm in there cutting hair!

 

[JVL1018]

Like the OP, my two beat me handily when we play Memory.
The others, it depends. My DD, 6, now I play without trying to lose. My DS, I let him win a lot, but I also play it out so that he loses so that he learns to be a gracious loser. DD used to get all moody, but now she shakes hands and says Good game! LOL
Both kids I will let win if I have a feeling they will want to play again..and again..and again, until they win. Chutes and Ladders I can only take one time.

 

[Sparx]

some games my parents let me win, but most of the time they didn't. I remember learning chess (I was either five or six when my uncle taught me how to play and i'v eben playing since) I've won maybe 5 games against him. and we've played hundreds. he never let me win. I always did it on my own, and it always seemed like such a huge accomplishment and it made me a better player. I can beat most people. just not him.

 

[DVCLiz]

I always let them win when they were learning, and I'll do anything to stop the torment that is CandyLand, so all bets are off on that one. I think if you have a reasonable kid, you can still end up having them learn to be a good sport and a good loser without taking them down on Chutes and Ladders in preschool. I'd look more at it from a "are we having fun?" perspective than a "am I teaching her to lose well?" perspective, until she could play evenly. Once they get to pre-teen ages, they are usually better than me and then we play competitively.

But there's no way I'd make a preschooler or a young elementary child of mine lose consistently - that's just not what we use games for at my house.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I think if you have a reasonable kid, you can still end up having them learn to be a good sport and a good loser without taking them down on Chutes and Ladders in preschool.

Yeah, I'd say it's a safe bet you can still have a well-adjusted child even if you drop a game or two to your kid.

 

[Blondie]

I would coach a child through a game when they're young. Once they learn it, we're on equal footing. Losing is a GOOD thing. Builds character.

Hey Blondie...were there hurricane winds holding your son up like that?? Or is that trick photography??

LOL! Since he's been lifting weights he is strong to hold him self sideways like that! He's gotten better at it since that photo was taken back in the winter. He can stay that way for quite a while! You should see the looks he gets at people driving by! It's priceless!

 

[Blondie]

And Blondie, how did you DS DO that???

I had a client who took pics of DD one day and then she doctored them up. She sent me one in an email that was DD walking on top of the swingset!! It looked sooo real! Her email said I'd better watch that daredevel DD of mine while I'm in there cutting hair!

I'd love to see that photoshopped picture of your DD!

I can assure you, this is really him doing his human flag routine!

Here is a bigger more detailed photo:

 

[JerseyJanice]

When he was little, I let DS win all the time. One thing to love about Candyland--you can "fix" the deck every time. These days, we play video games more than other games, and I'm lucky if I can win. I think he's even let me win a few times because he felt bad about whipping Mom so many times.

Hey, Blondie, those are totally cool photos of your DS! I'd love to see him do that in person.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I'd love to see that photoshopped picture of your DD!

I can assure you, this is really him doing his human flag routine!

Here is a bigger more detailed photo:

I've got to show that to my DS. He's so cocky about how strong he is (he DOES work out), but I wonder if he could do this. I can't even imagine GETTING in that position. Once I leaned over, I'd probably just tip all the way.

 

[paigevz]

My older son has been having to earn his wins from about age 8..........and he does!

I help my younger one so that he wins about 2:1 over me.

When he plays with older brother, though, they never get to finish a game as my older is so competitive that it becomes quite obvious younger is losing very quickly and then younger gets upset and quits. I've tried to explain helping the younger or altering rules to my older and that it happens that way sometimes to my younger, but neither one gets it.

 

[va32h]

My mom never let us win. The day we finally beat her at anything was the proudest day of our lives - we knew we had really accomplished something.

We are also a hyper-competitive family.

That said, I don't so much "let" my kids win, but I play to their level.

Games like Chutes & Ladders, Candyland, Hi-ho Cherry O , Bingo - those are games where my being an adult gives me no particular advantage.

Games like Sorry, Aggravation, Apples to Apples, Monopoly - I will play to the child's level...I won't go for the jugular in Sorry, for example, and boot all of dd's little players back to home. I won't take the plays that I know required adult logic, thinking several steps ahead of the game. Now sometimes I manage to win, anyway. If they miss a move that I think they should have seen, I don't point it out.

 

[Buckalew11]

I'd love to see that photoshopped picture of your DD!

I can assure you, this is really him doing his human flag routine!

Here is a bigger more detailed photo:

There are a lot of photos you'd like to see!! If I ever learn to post pics, you'll be sorry!!!

I am amazed at the strength your son has. I have never seen anyone do that. Can he do it in reverse with his other arm on the bottom? Weird question but it popped in my mind. Tell him how impressed we are!!

 

[*Fantasia*]

at the beginning.. yes. i let them win, i let them get the hang and understand how the game is playes. and once they become pro at it, we all just play fairly. my son and daughter are very good at playing monopoly (not the jr. version) and sorry (disney version) and backgammon and life (spongebob version). most of the time they beat me! they get really competitive with me sometimes.