Do You Help Your Parents w/Things You KNOW They Could Do Themselves?

[Chattyaholic]

My parents are 72 and 67, and instead of getting their prescriptions filled at the local pharmacy they now have to go through Medco. Originally their doctor's office faxed all of their prescription info to Medco and they got their pills in the mail, now they have to be ordered, individually, either by phone, fax or mail. I phone the orders in for them, even though I know Mom could do it herself if she just would. She says it would "make her too nervous." You don't even talk to a real person when you call, it's all automated and you speak your answers right into the phone. It's SO EASY but she refuses to even TRY to do it, so I keep going up there to call them in for her. And I can't call them in all at once. One needs to be called in at a certain time, another at another time, etc. every 3 months.

I'm not a heartless person, I'm happy to help them with things that are difficult or impossible for them to do but something they COULD do for themselves is kind of aggravating.

Ah, well, thanks for letting me vent...

 

[NMAmy]

It's so difficult to watch your parents get older and have to become a parent to them yourself. My father had a lot of health problems and lost a leg due to blood clots. Then my mom broke her ankle. They were both in wheelchairs for several weeks and neither could drive. I work full-time and my daughter was about 11. I'd stop by the store for them on the way home, make dinner, clean house, run errands--then go home and do the same thing all over again there. It was exhausting and they'd bicker, bicker, bicker.

It's hard for the parents and it's also hard for us in the sandwich generation. Technology can be scarey for them. I don't really have any great advice for you but just to tell you to hang in there and appreciate them while you have them. My dad passed away a year ago and I'd dearly love to be running errands for him again.

Best wishes to you.

 

[mt2]

 

[Lisa F]

Have you had your parents' hearing checked? I know when my grandmother's hearing first started to go, any kind of recorded voice on the phone was INCREDIBLY frustrating for her. I could tell because she would leave messages on my voicemail saying things like "i have no idea what you just said or if this is even you but if it is, call your grandma." She has hearing aids and a phone with a "boost" in it now but still, having to deal with any kind of automated system leaves her practically in tears... so while she is physically capable of using the phone, it's just easier on her if someone handles stuff like that for her. Anyway, it might "make her too nervous" because she is having a hard time understanding what they are saying and I know where my grandmother's meds are concerned, the thought of potentially messing something up makes her VERY nervous. Seems like a small thing to do to help her out.

 

[Disney Doll]

If anything, I have the opposite problem. They don't let me do enough for them. They are independent to the point of being stubborn!!!!! They are 76 & 78, and I wish they would call me when they need help. I actually have to "surprise" them & drop in for them to even enable me to attempt to help.

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by Lisa F
Have you had your parents' hearing checked? I know when my grandmother's hearing first started to go, any kind of recorded voice on the phone was INCREDIBLY frustrating for her. I could tell because she would leave messages on my voicemail saying things like "i have no idea what you just said or if this is even you but if it is, call your grandma." She has hearing aids and a phone with a "boost" in it now but still, having to deal with any kind of automated system leaves her practically in tears... so while she is physically capable of using the phone, it's just easier on her if someone handles stuff like that for her. Anyway, it might "make her too nervous" because she is having a hard time understanding what they are saying and I know where my grandmother's meds are concerned, the thought of potentially messing something up makes her VERY nervous. Seems like a small thing to do to help her out.

I totally agree with this. I feel for old people in today's world -- imagine if you had never been exposed to today's technology growing up, and having to learn how to do EVERYTHING in an automated world? And all the prescriptions most older folks take, so many that come with a long list of side effects and warnings. Its no wonder they're nervous.

I spend two Saturdays a month just going over my Granny's meds and filling out the paperwork to get them. I figure its the least I can do.

 

[4nana]

Chattyaholic,

It is difficult to teach an old dog new tricks...LOL! Medco is a PITA even at my age....who wants to talk to a computerized message....LOL!! Enjoy that you are blessed to still have your parents and they need you honey.

If anything, I have the opposite problem. They don't let me do enough for them. They are independent to the point of being stubborn!!!!! They are 76 & 78, and I wish they would call me when they need help. I actually have to "surprise" them & drop in for them to even enable me to attempt to help.

DITTO!
Sadly we lost dear Dad a yr ago, but much to my dismay when he was here they never ask for or accepted anything they couldn't do for themselves. The only thing they asked for help with was his trip to the VA hospital, which we greatly obliged.

Since he is gone, the life that Mom once knew is gone. She won't ask for a thing either, but we do whatever we can to help and spoil her every opportunity. She is a young 74, insists on living in her home, but between DH, myself and sis she will be pampered the rest of her days.
I feel it's the least we can do....

Godspeed ^i^
Sandie