Do you get along with your mom?

DSNLvR

Mouseketeer
Joined
Oct 23, 2009
Messages
91
If not has it always been that way or just now that you are an adult?
Recently I have been more aware of my moms personality and looking back she has always been this way but over the last few months it has gone from somewhat annoying to me completely avoiding her when I can.

Every conversation turns into her putting others down to pat herself on the back. Her hypocrisy is nothing short of amazing.

She will judge others for exact thing she has done, or is doing (but fails to remember it or conveniently justifies her reasons for doing the same thing)and then in the same conversation mention how so and so is so blind because they have double standards! I try to change the subject but it always goes back to how great she thinks she is and how terrible, lazy, self centered, spoiled someone else is. Sometimes I am just at a loss for words.

She throws everyone under the bus, her sisters, her boyfriend, my boyfriend, my brothers girlfriend, her boyfriends daughter usually gets the brunt of it.

Any one that comes to her house or anyone she randomly meets at a party.

For example, this past weekend we went to my brothers for a Halloween party and my SIL's sister was there with her new boyfriend. After a 2 minute meeting with this man she gripes to me the next day about his job, what he was wearing, how much he spent on their costumes, and she didn't like his mouth (he said damn 1 time while we were there) yet HER boyfriend could make a sailor blush with his mouth! Thinking back on that I can kind of laugh at that double standard, but it gets old hearing it day in and day out.
 
My mom is, and has always been, my best friend. :goodvibes I don't know what I would do without her!
 
I have a declining relationshp with my mother.

The decline started in her head. Now she is treating me a certain way and that helps it decline further.

It's really a shame.

I love my mom. But I can't have a good relationship with a parent who helps facilitate the spread of gossip among my siblings in order to make me look bad. Especially if the gossip is a falsehood.
 
I did, before she passed away almost a year ago :(
 

Always, always I have had an awesome relationship with my mom. And my dad :lovestruc
 
I do now but that didn't really happen until I was in my 40's. I had some issues with the way she treated me and I finally got fed up when she started doing it to my dd.

That's when I told her that she could either treat us nicely or not bother seeing us anymore. I think she was shocked when I spelled out the things she'd been doing and she made a real effort to change although she's had a few set backs.

Plus, I'm the only one of her kids that lives close enough to help her out in a regular basis so I think that made her realize she didn't want to tick me off too badly. :lmao:
 
I have a declining relationshp with my mother.

The decline started in her head. Now she is treating me a certain way and that helps it decline further.

It's really a shame.

I love my mom. But I can't have a good relationship with a parent who helps facilitate the spread of gossip among my siblings in order to make me look bad. Especially if the gossip is a falsehood.

hmmmm are we related? My mom and I used to be best friends. As an adult I am realizing she has some AWFUL habits that I guess I always ignored up until now. Now every time I talk to her I get frustrated. If you aren't married, white, and rich you are no good in her eyes. It is very difficult to talk to her any more.
 
/
It's complicated. I love my mom. She means well. She is high maintenance but trying to take care of herself. I don't do needy or clingy well and I have a needy clingy mom.

When I was a child, she wasn't really a day to day mom as she was out and about alot. Never really had to take care of herself and not used to it.

I talk to her and I laugh with her and I love you her but she isn't someone I would call in an emergency or tell her when something horrible has happened. She doesn't know about either of my miscarriages or something else horrible that has happened. It would be me comforting her instead of the other way around.

How's that for complicated? lol
 
I've never been close to either of my parents; we don't have much in common (they are very close to both of my brothers as they all love fishing, camping, sports, etc). We got a bit closer when I was going through chemo but we are back to our old routine of chatting once every few weeks on the phone.
 
My mom is, and has always been, my best friend. :goodvibes I don't know what I would do without her!


::yes::

Me too! And Dad also! :goodvibes They are still very active in their communities. Play golf all winter and all summer. They are in bridge groups. They live in Maine in the summer and Florida in the winter. :goodvibes

They are 84&85yo. I have no idea how I or any of my 3 sis' and bro will be when or if something happens to either of them. :sad1:
 
My mom was an awesome mother until I was 9-16. I would consider her abusive during those years. She is nearly 78 now and doesn't remember it. I forgive her. If only I could forget...

I try to be the kind of mom that she was when times were good.
 
I am very close with my mom. Even my teenage daughter will tell you she is a blast to hang out with. Pretty good for an octogenarian when even a teenage thinks you're cool. :goodvibes She is also amazingly intelligent. I don't always go along with all her politics but I am amazed by how up on the world she is and how she is so good at adapting to the changes to the world around her. She is a very strong woman and I absolutely aspire to be like her.
 
Yes we are very close but from 13 to 18 she was always telling me what to do & it was really getting on my nerves:rotfl:

I call her everday:goodvibes
 
I was always really close to both my Mom and Dad til the day they died. I miss them both terribly.
 
I do now. She was in an unhappy marriage when I was a child and it affected her behavior toward me. She's also of the "how things look" mentality and was very embarrassed if her kids weren't super star athletes, stellar students and meticulously dressed popular girls. My mediocre athleticism, lazy attitude throughout school, and nothing but jeans and sweatpants attitude didn't bode well. :lmao: When I was a teen, we nearly killed each other. Rarely spoke with her in college. It got a little better after graduation. It was good when I got married and now that I have kids, I live a half mile from her!

We still have our moments, where she has to get in a dig toward me and tell me how to parent because she was so flawless at it. ;) I've just accepted that although she is in a much better situation now, she's a complainer at heart and the victim dance won't stop. I don't indulge it, I just walk away when it starts. Once in a while we have it out, but it's done and over with the next day.
 
We get along great....in different time zones! :rotfl2:

We do much better over the phone than we do in person.
 





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