Do You Consider Yourself a Feminist?

[Searc]

I know women in marriages like you describe well. I live in a world where the ultimate “redneck” is king. And while I wouldn’t live with someone like that for 10 seconds, I know women who do.

But be realistic. How on earth would a woman in that situation have the surgery anyway? She can’t hide it. She can’t just go to the dr one day and be home that afternoon and have this done.

Again we are talking about extremes. Yes they exist. But for a woman in that situation, having a surgery he doesn’t want her to have is going to take a lot more than his signature.

And for every story of women like that, there are men who have no voice for their own child. She wants an abortion, he gets no voice. She wants to keep the baby, again no voice. Oh but now pay up and step up because you helped make it. He marries a manipulative narcissist and he gets controlled by the children that he had no voice in making or he gets no voice in whether they have children. That’s not equality either.

Why is there always a defense of the man when it comes to these conversations? It is bizarre.

 

[kiddo76]

I know women in marriages like you describe well. I live in a world where the ultimate “redneck” is king. And while I wouldn’t live with someone like that for 10 seconds, I know women who do.

But be realistic. How on earth would a woman in that situation have the surgery anyway? She can’t hide it. She can’t just go to the dr one day and be home that afternoon and have this done.

Again we are talking about extremes. Yes they exist. But for a woman in that situation, having a surgery he doesn’t want her to have is going to take a lot more than his signature.

And for every story of women like that, there are men who have no voice for their own child. She wants an abortion, he gets no voice. She wants to keep the baby, again no voice. Oh but now pay up and step up because you helped make it. He marries a manipulative narcissist and he gets controlled by the children that he had no voice in making or he gets no voice in whether they have children. That’s not equality either.

Well, to use the pro-life argument, he "chose" to give up his voice when he had sex.

 

[Searc]

Well, to use the pro-life argument, he "chose" to give up his voice when he had sex.

Yes, it is incredible to read how some people believe women get pregnant by themselves. Science really is failing us.

 

[pahoben]

It is absolutely about control. It is about you forcing your vision of morality on me. I am thrilled you had the choice to have that child and raise it.

FTR: I became a mother my senior year of high school. This tiny baby (who was 8 weeks premature) tied me to a man who abused me. You want details, I will share, because I believe that if my story can even help just one person, then it's on me to share it. He threw things at me, he beat me. He brought his girlfriends to our home, and expected me to welcome them with open arms. He was a prisoner in teh marraige and parenthood as I was. He beat me damn near senseless the day he told me his gf was pregnant and was moving in with us, and I protested. I found a way to get safe, for both my daughter and myself; I gave up custody to his parents. The day they had legal custody of my daughter, I filed for divorce and kicked him out. When I finally thought I was safe (two months after I filed for divorce), he came to my home one night and raped me. I ended up pregnant, and I chose to end that pregnancy. I was not going to give him another reason to be tied to me forever.

If I lived in Alabama today, I would be forced to carry that child.

Even worse than my story, there is an 11 year old...let that sink in for a minute...an 11 year old in Ohio and may be forced to carry her rapist's child, because of that damn heartbeat law. Eleven years old. Think back to what you were doing at 11. I was still playing with Barbies, and painting my nails; learning to put on make up and dreaming of a wedding to a handsome prince. This child is bearing a child. This should horrify you. How is an 11 year old mentally capable of doing something that I could not, at the age of 21?

https://meaww.com/11-year-old-ohio-...ced-to-bear-child-because-fetal-heartbeat-law





Amen



Tell that to the women in Ohio.
http://www.msnbc.com/politicsnation/gop-push-ban-abortion-coverage-ohio

Tell that to the children in Alabama
https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/alabama
#46 in Health Care
#50 in Eductation
#45 in Opportunity
#45 in Economy
#37 in Health Care Access
#39 in Health Care Quality
#47 in Public Health
#47 in Mental Health
#50 in Low Infant Mortality
#47 in Low Mortality
#46 in Low Obesity
#41 in Low Smoking

Thank you for your story and it can only help others.

Most men are genetically wired to protect women but there are always sick men who are not wired that way. It really is a strong force for most men and even to the point that in prison rapists and those who commit violence against innocent women are marked.

I interceded twice when a man struck a women. Once was on a street corner late at night and once was in a park at night. Both times I had a gun pulled on me and the women told me to get lost sand mind my own business. Once I determined that they didn’t want my help nor any outside help I told the male what I thought of him and left (before cell phones). It must be terrible to love or depend on a man of this type and it makes me angry hearing about the terrible things he did to you.

 

[pahoben]

Thank you for your story and it can only help others.

Most men are genetically wired to protect women but there are always sick men who are not wired that way. It really is a strong force for most men and even to the point that in prison rapists and those who commit violence against innocent women are marked.

I interceded twice when a man struck a women. Once was on a street corner late at night and once was in a park at night. Both times I had a gun pulled on me and the women told me to get lost sand mind my own business. Once I determined that they didn’t want my help nor any outside help I told the male what I thought of him and left (before cell phones). It must be terrible to love or depend on a man of this type and it makes me angry hearing about the terrible things he did to you.

Now that I think about it there was one time also in a bar. I interceded and am sure he didn’t strike a woman for a long long time after that if ever.

 

[luvsJack]

It is absolutely about control. It is about you forcing your vision of morality on me. I am thrilled you had the choice to have that child and raise it.

FTR: I became a mother my senior year of high school. This tiny baby (who was 8 weeks premature) tied me to a man who abused me. You want details, I will share, because I believe that if my story can even help just one person, then it's on me to share it. He threw things at me, he beat me. He brought his girlfriends to our home, and expected me to welcome them with open arms. He was a prisoner in teh marraige and parenthood as I was. He beat me damn near senseless the day he told me his gf was pregnant and was moving in with us, and I protested. I found a way to get safe, for both my daughter and myself; I gave up custody to his parents. The day they had legal custody of my daughter, I filed for divorce and kicked him out. When I finally thought I was safe (two months after I filed for divorce), he came to my home one night and raped me. I ended up pregnant, and I chose to end that pregnancy. I was not going to give him another reason to be tied to me forever.

If I lived in Alabama today, I would be forced to carry that child.

Even worse than my story, there is an 11 year old...let that sink in for a minute...an 11 year old in Ohio and may be forced to carry her rapist's child, because of that damn heartbeat law. Eleven years old. Think back to what you were doing at 11. I was still playing with Barbies, and painting my nails; learning to put on make up and dreaming of a wedding to a handsome prince. This child is bearing a child. This should horrify you. How is an 11 year old mentally capable of doing something that I could not, at the age of 21?

https://meaww.com/11-year-old-ohio-...ced-to-bear-child-because-fetal-heartbeat-law





Amen



Tell that to the women in Ohio.
http://www.msnbc.com/politicsnation/gop-push-ban-abortion-coverage-ohio

Tell that to the children in Alabama
https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/alabama
#46 in Health Care
#50 in Eductation
#45 in Opportunity
#45 in Economy
#37 in Health Care Access
#39 in Health Care Quality
#47 in Public Health
#47 in Mental Health
#50 in Low Infant Mortality
#47 in Low Mortality
#46 in Low Obesity
#41 in Low Smoking

I have said many times that there should be exceptions for rape. And for an 11 year old, maternal health exceptions should make an abortion possible. I don’t agree with laws that do not give those exceptions.

I am so sorry you lived through that, but again if the laws weren’t swinging so far the other way, the rape exception would have allowed you an abortion.

But the problem in you story isn’t abortion. The problem in your story is an abusive man. And since my post was about a woman getting a tubal, would you have been able to while married to him?

 

[luvsJack]

Well, to use the pro-life argument, he "chose" to give up his voice when he had sex.

Did he also give up the responsibility?

 

[luvsJack]

Why is there always a defense of the man when it comes to these conversations? It is bizarre.

Last time I checked it takes a man for that baby to be made. That baby has half his DNA. It is his child too.

 

[Searc]

Last time I checked it takes a man for that baby to be made. That baby has half his DNA. It is his child too.

Thanks for making my point for me.

 

[pahoben]

Last time I checked it takes a man for that baby to be made. That baby has half his DNA. It is his child too.

It’s actually slightly less than half if you include mitochondrial DNA passed strictly from the mother.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

Well one I haven’t said I support it. And two it’s not new. More restrictive but not new. And three I am not finding these studies—no links from Planned Parenthood please, I don’t read those.

No, of course it's not new. I never said it was new. It's reinstated every time the "pro-life" party is in control, and it results in higher abortion rates. How does one who claims to be "pro-life" rationalize this in their mind? I am genuinely interested in how this happens, because it seems to me that this and many other policies of the "pro-life" group really have the opposite effect of what they say they want.

https://smlr.rutgers.edu/news/study-global-gag-rule-increased-abortion-rates-some-regions

 

[Hrhpd]

Really? And you would be wrong. I got pregnant at 17. Unplanned, unwanted. Very much a blessing, who is now my 37 year old son who I love more than life itself. But you have alllllll the answers right? At just over 18 I sat in my hospital bed with a tiny baby that I didn’t have a clue how to take care of and cried. But you know what? I learned and we grew together and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

It’s not about controlling women. Or punishing anyone. That is that self absorbed opinion of the pro choice. It’s not about the woman at all. It’s about a life. A tiny baby that has no voice, no choice. That didn’t ask to be conceived.

Aren't you grateful you had a CHOICE on what to do?

Let's put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if a subsequent government decided that 17 year olds were too young to raise children and they passed a law that anyone under 18 had to abort the fetus? Would you be ok with the government telling you what you could do with your body? Would you be screaming that it is your body and you and your doctor know what is right for you and nobody should tell you what to do?

Don't say that is ridiculous because it is not. It is the slide down the slippery slope that is being started right now by allowing the government to dictate what a person can do with their body.

 

[Hrhpd]

I am nor sure why anyone is harping on persoal anecdotes about dying giving birth. Especially on a website that is dedicatd to spending a lot of money on vacations. I imagine the better the medical care you receive, the less likely you are going to die in childbirth. Though that is just a guess on my part.

Anyway, all of this is beside the point. You either think it's murder or you don't. The middle ground is all about what to do in a country where there are people who think it's a capital crime (presumably punishable by death) and those who don't think it's a crime at all. Not one bit.

I believe we should all work together to support the reduction of unwanted pregnancies, and that is with an emphasis on sex education. I think Roe v Wade was decided correctly, and it was not a decision made alone or quickly. There was a series of decisions over a long period of time that lead to Roe, including Griswold v Connecticut. Once you get to Griswold, Roe was only a matter of time.

Antonin Scalia famously said once, when asked about the 9th Amendment, that he didn't know anything about it because they didn't study it in law school. Yeah, that sounds about right.

66% of the country agrees with you that Roe v Wade should remain the law of the land.

 

[Nancyg56]

I know women in marriages like you describe well. I live in a world where the ultimate “redneck” is king. And while I wouldn’t live with someone like that for 10 seconds, I know women who do.

But be realistic. How on earth would a woman in that situation have the surgery anyway? She can’t hide it. She can’t just go to the dr one day and be home that afternoon and have this done.

Again we are talking about extremes. Yes they exist. But for a woman in that situation, having a surgery he doesn’t want her to have is going to take a lot more than his signature.

And for every story of women like that, there are men who have no voice for their own child. She wants an abortion, he gets no voice. She wants to keep the baby, again no voice. Oh but now pay up and step up because you helped make it. He marries a manipulative narcissist and he gets controlled by the children that he had no voice in making or he gets no voice in whether they have children. That’s not equality either.

I am speaking about control and why women are in difficult places. I know that your post was about a tubal, but can you expand just a tad to see we are actually using examples why we want these laws that restrict womens rights to be removed? It is the extremes that actually are frightening. For my coworker an abortion might be her only option, but that would land her in jail if she lived in Alabama.

 

[luvsJack]

Now that I think about it there was one time also in a bar. I interceded and am sure he didn’t strike a woman for a long long time after that if ever.

I stepped in between my best friend and her ex a few times. My saving grace was honestly that he was terrified of my husband (now Ex husband). But whatever worked. It kept him from hitting her. I called the law when she wouldn’t. And finally my ex and I were able to help her get out.

 

[luvsJack]

Thanks for making my point for me.

I am confused. Do you think he should have a voice or not?

 

[PaulaSB12]

More so being pro-choice or pro-life we need to be more considering pro-safe sex, how about teaching both sexes that you have to be careful when with who and how you have sex. That waiting to have sex is not a bad thing, that one night stands especially if you don't use protection and I mean using condoms as well as chemical ways to prevent pregnancies the pill can stop a pregnancy it can't stop a sexually transmitted disease.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

I have said many times that there should be exceptions for rape. And for an 11 year old, maternal health exceptions should make an abortion possible. I don’t agree with laws that do not give those exceptions.

I am so sorry you lived through that, but again if the laws weren’t swinging so far the other way, the rape exception would have allowed you an abortion.

But the problem in you story isn’t abortion. The problem in your story is an abusive man. And since my post was about a woman getting a tubal, would you have been able to while married to him?

Not in Alabama, they wouldn't.

And no, I wouldn't have been able to get a tubal. Because the doctor would have asked him, just as they asked my now DH (together 27 years, married 20, and this was after our 2nd child together).

 

[Hrhpd]

I have said many times that there should be exceptions for rape.

So, it is ok to kill some babies? And you are choosing which babies are eligible to be killed and which ones aren't. How is that pro life? That is pro birth. How about we let the doctors and women decide?

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

You watch some very whacked TV. Maybe step back from the faux-reality stuff? Head down to some women's shelters, free health clinics and see what it's really like? I've seen some horrid situations at our local women's/family shelter, and the nurse at our school is very busy with teen health/sex issues.

Good advice. Why don't you suggest that to the millions of women who hoot-and-holler at those shows in the name of "sisterhood"...