Do you allow your teens to sample alcohol

[DeaverTex]

In Texas, a minor can legally drink IF his/her parent or guardian orders it and give it to him/her, and it is consumed in the parents' presence. That said, many drinking establishments have their own rules that no one under 21 is allowed to drink, and those rules are completely enforceable. Giving alcohol to ANY minor other than your own child is a criminal act, and if you're caught you're in majorly deep "stuff".

We allowed Tex Jr. to have a taste of wine or beer from our glass starting about 16, and to have a beer AT HOME at 18. It wasn't a big deal, and we didn't stress the dangers or anything -- we just stopped with one beer or glass of wine ourselves, and he just followed suit.

While our boy (who's now a college junior) HAS been known to hoist more than one beer or other drink these days, and even to find himself a touch impaired a time or two, he's still a responsible drinker. In fact, he's often the designated driver in a group, and then he stays with Dr Pepper -- the Baylor equivalent of tap water.

It's up to parents to teach their child(ren) about alcohol and its responsible use.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

New York allows a parent to give minor children alcohol in their own home, but imposes severe penalties to anyone who gives alcohol to another person's child -- legally I can give a drink to my underage daughter but not to my underage niece. New York does not allow a parent to order a drink for a child in a public place.

My daughters are 19 and 21. They were offered wine at our Passover seders since they were very young (they preferred grape juice) and they've been offered a glass of champagne on special occasions since they hit their teens. We don't do much drinking except on special occasions, and the adults in our household do not drink to excess.

Older daughter has become a responsible social drinker. I know there have been occasions where she has had too much to drink. I also know that she recognizes when she is impaired and will not drive if she's over her limit. Those occasions have been few and far between, most of the time she will have one or two drinks if she's out with friends.

Younger daughter doesn't really like "drinking", she doesn't hang out in bars, and will order "a drink" in a social situation and nurse it all night.

Drinking alcohol is legal, it is socially acceptable and it is part of our culture. I think I did OK by my kids.

 

[JaneBanks]

For those surprised by the replies, have you been reading here long? The climate of the CB is much more liberal since the last national election and the rule change here on the Dis about not discussing religion and politics. Many conservatives jumped ship.

What does this have anything to do with the topic of the thread?

 

[tasha99]

Yup--I have no problem with letting my teens have a small drink at home. In fact, when I went home for Christmas, I stayed a few days at DD19's apartment. We made surf and turf, and I brought a bottle of wine.

I would NOT give wine to anyone else's teen though. That seems like a parental decision based on family genes and culture.

I can't believe some people are so opposed to serving wine that they think others are bad parents to do so. Talk about living in your own bubble and not recognizing that we come from a variety of cultures!

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Cigarettes are harmful. Period. The end. There's no, in moderation, cigarettes may be beneficial!

Yes, booze in quantity will kill you. So will water. Drink enough water and you will keel right over. Consume enough ketchup and it'll kill you.

In moderation, liquor, for most people, is not only not harmful but yes, can have beneficial effects.

Unless you have a prescription for it in a state that allows such, pot is straight up illegal. Cigarettes are straight illegal for people under 18.

Liquor is not. In some states it is. In my state it's legal for parents to give their own kids liquor - in the home or in an establishment, and that's true in a number of states.

You may not know people who let their kids drink, but clearly it's not that rare.

Most people at least try drinking at some point - most people drink on occasion as adults. Many people enjoy wine, beer, etc., in moderation as part of their regular lives. If you don't, that's fine.

It doesn't make people who like wine with dinner or a cocktail out with friends, immoral or crazypants, however, which is kind of what it's sounding like you think.

Cigarettes are ILLEGAL for a minor to go and BUY, just like BOOZE is. But just as a parent can legally give a teen booze they can also legally give their child a cigarette. Cigarettes are harmful. They cause cancer. But booze is also harmful it causes cirrhosis of the liver and every single time you drink it, it shoots your liver enzymes through the roof. Have a blood test done the morning after you have had a few glasses of wine and see how bad off your liver profile looks. It has numbers that would appear you have something very serious wrong with you.

As far as water killing you...Booze you can open ONE SMALL PINT of straight liquor and drink it straight down with no dilution or no back up drinks and just let your body absorb all those ounces of liquor at one time, and it might kill you in a matter of an hour. Drink ONE PINT of water and it will not harm you whatsoever. For water to harm you, you have to drink more than 4 or 5 gallons in less than one hour and usually the only ppl who have ever done that are ppl tripping on Ecstasy. If you ever read a story of someone dying from over-drinking water, they also had drugs in their system. So that's not a good example either.

So my points remain.

And the ppl who will get defensive over my statements are the ones giving their kids booze or the ones who DO drink every night.

 

[islandmum]

I dont drink - used to but due to health reasons I havent been able to for many years - my DH does drink, enjoys a few glasses of wine during the week and whenever we are with friends or relatives he will drink then.

My kids (both under 10) see drinking in a social environment, they also see that the people who do drink don't ever drive, they also see them acting silly sometimes.

I will be giving my kids the chance to drink alcohol in our home in their teens, because knowing how I was as a teenager (extremely rebellious) I want to take the forbidden fruit aspect away from drinking and also let them see that you can enjoy alcohol, you can even drink lots of it at parties and have fun, but there are responsibilities that come with drinking.

What I HATE is the people who think that people who dare to drink more than 1 glass of wine every other day are full blown lush drunkards .... and of course they'd NEVER give their kids alcohol because its illegal, ..... bet they've never broken the speed limit in their lives either

 

[islandmum]

While our boy (who's now a college junior) HAS been known to hoist more than one beer or other drink these days, and even to find himself a touch impaired a time or two, he's still a responsible drinker.

OMG!!! not a parent speaking the truth about their kid and saying ... Yes - he has been known to party with some booze!

Amazingly on the DIS it seems to go against the rest of the US culture - parents with college kids who hate alcohol .... weird eh?

I bet they all go off to spring break with their cars loaded with KoolAid too...

 

[Bonniec]

And the ppl who will get defensive over my statements are the ones giving their kids booze or the ones who DO drink every night.

Wrong again. People will get defensive because you came on the boards calling them crap parents. Dramatic much?

 

[RitaE]

Cigarettes are ILLEGAL for a minor to go and BUY, just like BOOZE is. But just as a parent can legally give a teen booze they can also legally give their child a cigarette. Cigarettes are harmful. They cause cancer. But booze is also harmful it causes cirrhosis of the liver and every single time you drink it, it shoots your liver enzymes through the roof. Have a blood test done the morning after you have had a few glasses of wine and see how bad off your liver profile looks. It has numbers that would appear you have something very serious wrong with you.

As far as water killing you...Booze you can open ONE SMALL PINT of straight liquor and drink it straight down with no dilution or no back up drinks and just let your body absorb all those ounces of liquor at one time, and it might kill you in a matter of an hour. Drink ONE PINT of water and it will not harm you whatsoever. For water to harm you, you have to drink more than 4 or 5 gallons in less than one hour and usually the only ppl who have ever done that are ppl tripping on Ecstasy. If you ever read a story of someone dying from over-drinking water, they also had drugs in their system. So that's not a good example either.

So my points remain.

And the ppl who will get defensive over my statements are the ones giving their kids booze or the ones who DO drink every night.

Wow.

No wonder you think anybody who'd give a 17 year old a glass of Pinot Noir with dinner should have the parenting licenses revoked.

You think my parenting is crap, I think your "facts" are ridiculous. But then again, you're right. I do have a glass of wine nearly everyday so you're probably about ready to check me into the Betty Ford place.

I'll leave it at that.

 

[JaneBanks]

And the ppl who will get defensive over my statements are the ones giving their kids booze or the ones who DO drink every night.

Wrong. I drank a little bit of wine at dinner when I was a kid and I DO NOT drink a drop of ANYTHING now as an adult.

I have no children to be a "crap" parent to right now.

Stop assuming that you know anything about anybody.

 

[cornflake]

Cigarettes are ILLEGAL for a minor to go and BUY, just like BOOZE is. But just as a parent can legally give a teen booze they can also legally give their child a cigarette. Cigarettes are harmful. They cause cancer. But booze is also harmful it causes cirrhosis of the liver and every single time you drink it, it shoots your liver enzymes through the roof. Have a blood test done the morning after you have had a few glasses of wine and see how bad off your liver profile looks. It has numbers that would appear you have something very serious wrong with you.

As far as water killing you...Booze you can open ONE SMALL PINT of straight liquor and drink it straight down with no dilution or no back up drinks and just let your body absorb all those ounces of liquor at one time, and it might kill you in a matter of an hour. Drink ONE PINT of water and it will not harm you whatsoever. For water to harm you, you have to drink more than 4 or 5 gallons in less than one hour and usually the only ppl who have ever done that are ppl tripping on Ecstasy. If you ever read a story of someone dying from over-drinking water, they also had drugs in their system. So that's not a good example either.

So my points remain.

And the ppl who will get defensive over my statements are the ones giving their kids booze or the ones who DO drink every night.

Find me a municipality in which it's legal to supply a minor with cigarettes. I've not run into one.

Moderate alcohol consumption can be beneficial on many levels and what you said about the liver enzymes is just not true.

No, a pint of booze probably won't kill you in an hour.

No, a pint of water won't kill you. I didn't say a pint would, I said enough would.

As for everyone who dies of water intoxication being on drugs, no there too. People die from it during exercise, during radio contests, etc.

Are you just... saying random things?

No one is saying you have to give your kids liquor. However, people that do are't crap parents who just don't understand these things which are in no way facts. They just don't have the same view as you.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Me too!!! Hey, let's get together, get drunk and flirt with each other's husbands!
.

Sounds fun, how about Friday night?

Oh, that is just because you grew up in a hippy town. Those hippies allow everything with their kids

I think all of us crap parents should go out for a virtual glass of wine.

On a more serious note, the poster that said not every way works for every parent is true.

The American Journal of Adolescents article said exactly that. It is more the culture in the household rather than the actual allowing to drink that curbs binge drinking and alcoholism.

Parents who party and provide alcohol in a party setting for minors tend to have children that binge more often.

Parents that work on educating children about alcohol, modeling good drinking behavior, take away the mystique about alcohol tend to have children that binge less. There is more and more evidence that families that allow small amounts of alcohol along with good role modeling tend to have the children who binge the least.

However, the study also showed that the very strict parents, where alcohol was forbidden and the child was afraid of consequences also had children that binged less often. But only if lots of information about alcohol was also provided.

So, parents have to do what is right for their family. It is a complex issue and there is no absolute answer.

That is the gist of the matter It deserves repeating.

If the dis is any indication, I think we've proven that occasional sips of wine as a teenager in the home causes flirty behavior as married adults.

Too funny!

Cigarettes are ILLEGAL for a minor to go and BUY, just like BOOZE is. But just as a parent can legally give a teen booze they can also legally give their child a cigarette. Cigarettes are harmful. They cause cancer. But booze is also harmful it causes cirrhosis of the liver and every single time you drink it, it shoots your liver enzymes through the roof. Have a blood test done the morning after you have had a few glasses of wine and see how bad off your liver profile looks. It has numbers that would appear you have something very serious wrong with you.

As far as water killing you...Booze you can open ONE SMALL PINT of straight liquor and drink it straight down with no dilution or no back up drinks and just let your body absorb all those ounces of liquor at one time, and it might kill you in a matter of an hour. Drink ONE PINT of water and it will not harm you whatsoever. For water to harm you, you have to drink more than 4 or 5 gallons in less than one hour and usually the only ppl who have ever done that are ppl tripping on Ecstasy. If you ever read a story of someone dying from over-drinking water, they also had drugs in their system. So that's not a good example either.

So my points remain.

And the ppl who will get defensive over my statements are the ones giving their kids booze or the ones who DO drink every night.

Oddly enough, DH just had a Doctor's apointment to go over the results of his bloodwork this week He has blood work done yearly due to his high blood pressure medications.
We were talking about it over dinner last night and his liver was great. She made a point of mentioned that it was particularly good and he was JOKING about how he could work on that
Funny that his liver numbers were so good when the night before I know he had wine with dinner (probably 2 glasses) because we had guest and I know they brought wine that we opened and drank.


You are right that I AM one of those who lets my teen drink in reasonable amounts at home and who drinks most nights (half a glass to one glass of wine over dinner--oh the horrors), but I have seen at least a few posts from people who do not drink who are surprised by people like you who think your way is the only right way. So, no it is not only those who are raising their children differently than you who can understand and support differing parenting choices.

 

[ford family]

This thread could only happen on an American forum because you guys are so funny when it comes to alcohol!
We were in the Azores (part of Portugal) on a recent cruise and were having lunch at a hotel on the island of San Miguel during an excursion. Wine was served with the meal and none of the Europeans batted an eyelid but the Americans were astounded and many of them commented on how strange it was.
The official drinking age in Europe is no higher than 18 but most countries allow 16 year olds to drink in a restaurant with their parents and most people allow their children to experience alcohol responsibly at home.
I don't understand why it is such a polarising subject in the US. Maybe a hangover from prohibition, maybe the higher levels of religious adherence, maybe simply a greater blind acceptance of "the law" without consideration of personal self determination.
Foreign travel might be too much of a challenge for some people on this thread as such vociferous outrage would be offensive to many non Americans.

ford family

 

[Bonniec]

Stop assuming that you know anything about anybody.

 

[pyrxtc]

No I don't but I am also not a drinker. My kids have been to plenty of parties, aka keggers, that were just my siblings or parents hosting at my parents house. no one under 21 was allowed to drink. My kids have seen all the sides of drinking.Neither of the teens are interested after seeing how stupid my siblings and their friends are when they get drunk. My 14 yr old apparently got to taste alcohol at my brother's wedding from my siblings and she hated everything. She asked me how they could drink them.

I think beer is nasty tasting and the only alcohol I drink, when I do, is Mike's Hard Lemonade or a soda type flavored pre-mixed drink.

 

[RitaE]

This thread could only happen on an American forum because you guys are so funny when it comes to alcohol!
We were in the Azores (part of Portugal) on a recent cruise and were having lunch at a hotel on the island of San Miguel during an excursion. Wine was served with the meal and none of the Europeans batted an eyelid but the Americans were astounded and many of them commented on how strange it was.
The official drinking age in Europe is no higher than 18 but most countries allow 16 year olds to drink in a restaurant with their parents and most people allow their children to experience alcohol responsibly at home.
I don't understand why it is such a polarising subject in the US. Maybe a hangover from prohibition, maybe the higher levels of religious adherence, maybe simply a greater blind acceptance of "the law" without consideration of personal self determination.
Foreign travel might be too much of a challenge for some people on this thread as such vociferous outrage would be offensive to many non Americans.

ford family

Well, I wouldn't say America is the only country that has strains of anti-alcohol beliefs. For instance, much of the Islamic culture also dictates abstaining from alcohol. There are other places than Europe and America you know.

 

[ford family]

Well, I wouldn't say America is the only country that has strains of anti-alcohol beliefs. For instance, much of the Islamic culture also dictates abstaining from alcohol. There are other places than Europe and America you know.

Good point.
So, apart from the US and those Muslim countries who allow it all, who else has a legal drinking age of 21?

ford family

 

[Pigeon]

Yes, we allow our 14 year old to have the occasional sip of wine or beer, and will allow her to have a drink now and then when she gets older if she wants one. So far, she doesn't like it.

I almost never drink. Dh has a glass of wine or a beer a couple of times a week. We keep alcohol in our house, and will serve it if we entertain.

Dd was recently at a sleepover with some girls who stole their parents liquor and were drinking. I was extremely happy with the way she handled the situtation. Some of the other girls had a great deal of curiosity about alcohol, which dd does not. She handled the peer pressure thing with aplomb.

Although I am extremely mad at the parents, who left the house for the evening, leaving the girl's 18 year old sister "in charge" without telling us that was the plan.

I come from an extended family with a number of alcoholics. The genetics of alcoholism are quite complicated, but I think if you've got the disease, it's not much going to matter how your parents handled alcohol in the home. I do think modelling responsible drinking is helpful in deterring the binge drinking that college kids tend to do.

 

[RitaE]

Good point.
So, apart from the US and those Muslim countries who allow it all, who else has a legal drinking age of 21?

ford family

Wikipedia of drinking ages. 18 years seems to be the most common but there are a few other places with 21.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_drinking_age

 

[U2_rocks!]

Good point.
So, apart from the US and those Muslim countries who allow it all, who else has a legal drinking age of 21?

ford family

I can tell you that Caribbean countries are pretty relaxed about alcohol. When I was growing up there was no legal drinking age - each establishment could decide for itself who they were willing to serve. I drank in a bar without my parents perfectly legally at 15 (it was a teen hangout). I think now we do have a statute on the books - as far as I recall it's 18. But that's the age for nightclubs, buying alcohol etc. There is no way that a parent will get in any trouble for allowing under 18s to drink at home. And public drinking (on the beaches etc.) is legal too, so teens take beers to beach parties all the time. Yes, some of them do get drunk. But I'd rather have them figuring out how to properly moderate their drinking while they are still at home under my influence and control and out with best friends who care for them. When they first go off to college and feel the taste of freedom and making new friends, I don't want them to also still be figuring out what effect various quantities of alcohol have on them. That's when it can get dangerous and they can put themselves at risk in all sorts of ways.