Do you agree with this?

[LuvsDragonflies]

To me this is step is like say: "Don't allow your kids to step on concrete, avoid concrete on your feet at all costs." Yeah, good luck with that one.

 

[bgirldeb]

I actually think the "steps" are fine---but for some reason it would bother me that my child was bringing home things to me from school about parenting...

I think that sheet would go right into the recycle pile at my house.

I Would be uncomfortable with a teacher sending home parenting information. I know how to parent my child, thank you very much.

I agree. I've gotten a few parenting flyers that the kids brought home from their school, and they go right in the trash.

 

[Nancyg56]

I am not at all sure that a teacher should be sending home parenting rules with a child. If there is a concern about a child then it should be addressed privately and not by the teacher. If the teacher is so concerned about how any given child is parented then that concern needs to be discussed with the school administration. Once a teacher begins sending detailed instructions such as the note the OP shared then that teacher has begun to undermine the parent.

I understand that the teacher was trying to help parents but a teacher's role is to educate children. If the school wants to involve parents in parenting education then it needs to be separate from the classroom.

 

[marcyinPA]

Step 0 - Why would a teacher think it is approriate to send this home?

I know on the DIS we are all perfect parents, but have you been in a classroom recently? Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents out there who need help. From my perspective- an urban public elementary school- many of the parents just don't know this kind of stuff. I would imagine if the teacher has been dealing with difficult children from difficult situations, she felt that this might be helpful. Of course, those are probably the parents who don't read that kind of stuff anyway.

FWIW, I don't look at these kind of articles as being told how to parent. I look at them as "tips". You may agree with some or with all, you may read something that sticks with you. You might think it's all crap and throw it out. What you decide to do with it is up to you- but keep in mind that it might help someone else.

People get too offended too quickly nowadays!

 

[Jey12]

I would google 10 steps to being a successful teacher, print it off and send it with my child to school.

 

[disneychic2]

As for #1, there certainly needs to be a balance. But young children need lots of attention since they can't do for themselves, so it's sometimes lopsided. The children do need to see good marriage role modeling, but not at the expense of their needs.

#2 may be true, but realistically, when you're a single parent after working all day, you want to spend as much time with your kids as you can. You're too tired to think about going out very often, and in my case, I couldn't afford to go much of anywhere. I felt my girls needed me and sure needed to be with them!

As for obedience, I did expect it, but my kids knew they could question my edicts without me getting upset. On rare occasions I reversed my decisions when they (as older kids) made a good point.

I think the chores listed were ridiculous! My young children picked up their toys, cleared their places at the table and made their beds starting around 3, then as they got older, they shared some chore duties such as mating socks, getting the mail, setting the table etc. Of course when they got older yet, they were my slaves!

 

[luvmy3]

I think it's a bunch of crap and the school has no business sending it home. Are they psychologists now too?

To me it's condescending and it would annoy me that because THEY have decided that this article is the "fo'shizzle" that I need to read it. Because my kids need to think I need school articles to know how to parent? No thanks. Add the fact that I disagree with a few of the points and you get garbage.

Good point. Maybe there should be another step.
Step 7. Teachers should never send home steps on how to raise a happy child. The child may become confused thinking their parents are not raising them correctly, especially when they are already happy. A confused child is not a happy child.

 

[NikitaZee]

I agree with some of the points made, disagree with others. What would tick me off is that the teacher (or school) was presumptuous enough to think I would want or need an article on someone else's idea of good parenting.

 

[disneychic2]

I would google 10 steps to being a successful teacher, print it off and send it with my child to school.

 

[FireDancer]

Look, I'm not parent but I find it odd that a public school would send this home. It is another blurring of the lines between the school's role and the parent's role. It isn't the worst example but it is part of what I see as a problem.

The steps themselves seem reasonable enough as a whole though.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

I know on the DIS we are all perfect parents, but have you been in a classroom recently? Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents out there who need help. From my perspective- an urban public elementary school- many of the parents just don't know this kind of stuff. I would imagine if the teacher has been dealing with difficult children from difficult situations, she felt that this might be helpful. Of course, those are probably the parents who don't read that kind of stuff anyway.

FWIW, I don't look at these kind of articles as being told how to parent. I look at them as "tips". You may agree with some or with all, you may read something that sticks with you. You might think it's all crap and throw it out. What you decide to do with it is up to you- but keep in mind that it might help someone else.

People get too offended too quickly nowadays!

I'm sorry, but yes, I get offended when my child's school sends home a boatload of bull****. Especially when they send something home a child can perceive as "the right way" to do something per the school and it's not the way YOU choose to do it at home.

 

[Minnesota!]

I don't have a problem with any of them. I would say all are spot on.

My boys do those chores and more...they are 4 and 7. What kind of chemical do you think you need for a bathroom? I use all natural cleaners - by Watkins. Spray down the sink/faucets, toilet, etc. Then wipe. Not a big deal. Sweep floor, mop. Again, not a big deal. The things they can't reach, I do. Dh and I take turns on scrubbing the tub. They are just as responsible (if not more so...boys are gross ) for the mess in the bathroom.

My 7 year old sweeps and washes the kitchen floor. Both of them vacuum the whole house...no supervision needed.

They are starting to do dishes. The 4 year old isn't quite tall enough yet, but he puts away the dried stuff that is within his reach.

The 7 year old brings the dirty laundry basket to the top of the basement steps and DH or I bring it down. They help transfer the clothes to/from the washer/dryer. They put the soap in. Only they don't do is sort the clothes.

They are expected to put their laundry away and clean up any messes they make. Make their beds, dust, etc.

I expect that every single member of my house chips in to keep it clean. I don't make the messes myself...I am not cleaning them myself.

I would be totally ok with a letter like this coming home. Really....people are cranky about a teacher trying to help?

I especially love #'s 5 and 6. Those are what we live by in my house. It's not "more stuff" that makes you happy. It's being happy with the stuff you do have. And travel and reading are a HUGE part of our household. We spend more money traveling than anything else. I think it's an invaluable experience and I would give up just about everything else we have to be able to continue to show my kids new places/experiences.

I think it's sad that people are upset about this. These are common sense things....and a lot of parents are lacking that sense these days. The teacher was probably setting out a reminder...that it's up to the PARENTS to raise their kids well. Here's a list of things to help you.

 

[JVelasquez]

I have troube with this one. I spend all day working and having someone else (my mother) raise my kid. When I get home from work, all I want to do is be with my kid, especially on weekends. I guess I'll never be interesting to my daughter.

As a working mom as well I know that when I come home I want to be with my son as much as possible. Parents do need time for themselves but spending quality time with my child is most important!

 

[Robinrs]

I think it's overstepping the boundaries. The teacher is supposed to educate the child, NOT the parent.

As a TV person, of course I HATE #7 I grew up on TV, was skipped a grade, and grew up the happiest kid I know. My parents made sure of that and not because some list told them so. I also made it my profession so I truly beg to differ.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I'm sorry, but yes, I get offended when my child's school sends home a boatload of bull****. Especially when they send something home a child can perceive as "the right way" to do something per the school and it's not the way YOU choose to do it at home.

It generally doesn't bother me, as it offers a teaching point. Talk them over with your child and discuss why you agree or disagree with each. It would bother me if the teacher actually taught the material in class and I learned about it from my child, but sending it home so I can discuss it with my child seems reasonable.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

I've seen this before. I think the conservative parenting columnist from the newspaper wrote it. It's sort of 1950's - 60's era parenting. I don't think that worked out so well for a lot of us that were raised during that era. It's parent-centered...you know dad works hard so the dog fetches the slippers and mom meets him at the door with a martini. The kids are quietly tucked away running daddy's pants through the press steamer (a la Anchorman) NO EYE CONTACT).

I do some of the things on the list, but I didn't have my 4 year old cleaning the bathroom. My kids have asthma and even as pre-teens I don't let them in the bathroom after I've sprayed the tub cleaner. Also, the tv and video thing...really? This makes your kid different than all of the other kids. Growing up is hard enough without having your parents force you to be different than everyone else.

Also, I'm not a single parent but most of the single parents I know are struggling just to keep it together and don't need a giant load of guilt about how they need to be more "interesting".

 

[Minnesota!]

I know on the DIS we are all perfect parents, but have you been in a classroom recently? Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents out there who need help. From my perspective- an urban public elementary school- many of the parents just don't know this kind of stuff. I would imagine if the teacher has been dealing with difficult children from difficult situations, she felt that this might be helpful. Of course, those are probably the parents who don't read that kind of stuff anyway.

FWIW, I don't look at these kind of articles as being told how to parent. I look at them as "tips". You may agree with some or with all, you may read something that sticks with you. You might think it's all crap and throw it out. What you decide to do with it is up to you- but keep in mind that it might help someone else.

People get too offended too quickly nowadays!

 

[JVelasquez]

I would google 10 steps to being a successful teacher, print it off and send it with my child to school.

 

[NikitaZee]

I agree with the PP who said it's blurring the lines. If a parent approaches a teacher asking for parenting advice, by all means offer it. But to hand out unsolicited advice like that article assumes that parents need to hear all or some of it. I personally find that condescending and overstepping on the part of the school. I consider myself an equal partner in my child's education - not someone who needs help on how to parent. That sets up a natural imbalance - that the teacher somehow knows how to do my job better than I, and has no problem giving me tips on how to do it better. Sorry - overstepping.

 

[punkin]

My DS came home from school the other day with some paperwork from his teacher. One of them was a copy of a news article titled '10 steps to raising happy children'.

Step 1- If you are married have a more active relationship with your spouse than you have with your children. Spend more time in the roles of husband and wife than you spend in the roles of mother and father. The reason is bc a child can feel insecure if his/her parents marriage doesn't feel solid. Sorry baby, I can't take care of your (diaper, dinner, skinned knee, etc.) because your time with Mama is up. Daddy has to get a bigger share.

Step 2- If you are single do not be married to your children. Have an active life outside of your role as mother and father. Be an interesting person to your kids. Sorry baby. I know you spent most of your day with the baby sitter because I am a single mom earning a living to support you, but I have to have a active social life so you can stay with the baby sitter 2 nights out of the week as well.

Step 3- Expect your child to obey. Expect this calmly, as if you take their obedience for granted. Disobedient children are not happy, obedient children are. Sorry baby, my opinions are the only ones that count in this household and if you have any of your own, you'd better keep them to yourself.

Step 4- Expect your children to be responsible citizens of your family. From the time they are 3yrs old, assign them chores around the home, chores that mean something. Teach your 3yr old to WASH FLOORS. Teach your 4yr old to vacuum. Teach your 5yr old to CLEAN THE BATHROOM. Good citizenship is a matter of making contributions. Too many of today's kids have no meaningful roles in their families. They're just there consuming and the more they consume, the more they demand. Demanding people are not happy people. Don't forget to teach your 5 yo not to mix ammonia with Clorox. Hope they are VERY obedient or else you'll have to get a new kid.
Step 5- Teach your child that happiness is not a matter of how much you have.

Step 6- Teach your child that 2 of the most fun things to do are reading and travel, both of which involve the accumulation of memories as opposed to things.

Step 7- Let tv and video games into your children's lives very little, if at all.

Step 8- Help your children develop hobbies. Btw a hobby is not an after school sport. A hobby is something a child can do by himself, eventually without adult supervision. DD12 is sport oriented. If she wan't in organized sports she would start games on the block just so she can compete.

Step 9- Teach your child good manners.

Step 10- Hold your children to high standards. You show respect for a child by expecting of the child.

The list is a crock!

Sorry.