Do servers not want a tip?

[CPanther95]

I didn't say, I don't tip if they don't offer. Nor do I, if I want it, forgo a to go cup.

But a good server will anticipate my needs. And a good server is rewarded with a better tip.

I consider simply mentioning that you are "parched" and then leaving an extra tip if she correctly interprets that to mean that you want a to-go cup 'playing games' - or unnecessarily testing your server then rewarding her if she passes.

Why not just ask for a to-go cup of water?

Why are people so afraid to just simply say what they mean?

 

[scrapquitler]

For the fourth time in less than two weeks I have had a restaurant server not understand how to make change when paying cash.

Most recently the bill was $37.20. I put two twenties and a ten in with the bill and specifically asked for change. I got back two ones, eighty cents, and the same ten I had put in the folder.

I had to ask again for change for the ten, strangely the server didn't seem to grasp why.

Did they expect me to tip them 27% with the ten? Or has the education system and credit cards helped raise a generation or two that can't do basic math?

Most places I go, if the change involves a $10, I almost always end up with 5 ones and a $5 because the servers know that their tip is coming out of what they give me back.

Maybe your server was just dumb. It happens.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I consider simply mentioning that you are "parched" and then leaving an extra tip if she correctly interprets that to mean that you want a to-go cup 'playing games' - or unnecessarily testing your server then rewarding her if she passes.

Why not just ask for a to-go cup of water?

Why are people so afraid to just simply say what they mean?

And I will ask for what I need. The point is, that if the server offers before I have to ask, they are anticipating my needs. That is a good thing.

How do you determine if a server is good or not? What in your case prompts you to leave more than your usual tip?

 

[King Schultz]

I stay home, drink beer, and eat slim jims.

Really cuts down on the drama.

 

[CPanther95]

And I will ask for what I need. The point is, that if the server offers before I have to ask, they are anticipating my needs. That is a good thing.

How do you determine if a server is good or not? What in your case prompts you to leave more than your usual tip?

If she brings exactly what I ordered, and if comes back frequently enough to address any issues - or new requests - that I may have... and everything is done in a timely manner.

Also, if asked, I always say, "Sure, I can order the entrees now, but only if it will come when we are done with our appetizers". Then if the bring them all together or the entrees right after serving the appetizers - that would be a knock against the service.

Now, I also would appreciate an unrequested Coke to go - and it would likely earn an extra tip for going above and beyond even if I didn't really want it. My only objection was having the opportunity to request one and simply saying you were parched instead of asking for what you want.

 

[sam_gordon]

For the fourth time in less than two weeks I have had a restaurant server not understand how to make change when paying cash.

Most recently the bill was $37.20. I put two twenties and a ten in with the bill and specifically asked for change. I got back two ones, eighty cents, and the same ten I had put in the folder.

I had to ask again for change for the ten, strangely the server didn't seem to grasp why.

Did they expect me to tip them 27% with the ten? Or has the education system and credit cards helped raise a generation or two that can't do basic math?

Here's where you're not getting your message across correctly. The server DID make proper change (using basic math). The problem is not a math one, it's a "mind reading" one. You expected the server to understand you wanted the $10 bill broken into smaller bills. Not an unrealistic expectation, but also one that's not automatic.

 

[mom2rtk]

If she brings exactly what I ordered, and if comes back frequently enough to address any issues - or new requests - that I may have... and everything is done in a timely manner.

Also, if asked, I always say, "Sure, I can order the entrees now, but only if it will come when we are done with our appetizers". Then if the bring them all together or the entrees right after serving the appetizers - that would be a knock against the service.

Now, I also would appreciate an unrequested Coke to go - and it would likely earn an extra tip for going above and beyond even if I didn't really want it. My only objection was having the opportunity to request one and simply saying you were parched instead of asking for what you want.

I really didn't interpret that prior poster's comment as playing a game throwing out hints to see if she could manipulate the server into bringing a to go drink. I assume the drinks she had during the meal probably solved her issue of being parched. She probably wasn't thirsty enough any more to actually ask the server for a to go drink. It was however very nice of the server to think ahead and bring her one anyway, worthy of an extra tip.

 

[Oreo Cookie]

If she brings exactly what I ordered, and if comes back frequently enough to address any issues - or new requests - that I may have... and everything is done in a timely manner.

Also, if asked, I always say, "Sure, I can order the entrees now, but only if it will come when we are done with our appetizers". Then if the bring them all together or the entrees right after serving the appetizers - that would be a knock against the service.

Now, I also would appreciate an unrequested Coke to go - and it would likely earn an extra tip for going above and beyond even if I didn't really want it. My only objection was having the opportunity to request one and simply saying you were parched instead of asking for what you want.

I agree. I think stating what you want upfront is the best idea. For example, we have a breakfast place we go t almost every Sunday and for several years had the same waitress. She left, so we started getting a different waitress each week. From the beginning, when they ask if we'd like coffee, we say, "Yes. Keep it hot and keep it coming" That way they know we are expecting refills. I don't expect restaurant staff to be mind readers. I base my tip on the service provided.

 

[MainMom]

Most places I go, if the change involves a $10, I almost always end up with 5 ones and a $5 because the servers know that their tip is coming out of what they give me back.

Maybe your server was just dumb. It happens.

Except the change wasn't $10. The change for the bill Was 2.70. The OP threw in an extra $10 and didn't specifically ask the server to break it so she got her $10 back plus her correct change for the bill.

 

[justussix]

I would have brought back the "change" ($2.70), and kept the $10 as my tip. Assuming that was handed over in addition to the normal bill with that intent.

When the manager was brought over, I'd say, "What $10?"

Sure, I'd be looking for a new job - but I could only take so much of that industry anyway.

 

[leebee]

For another take on the situation... Many, many times recently, when I pay by cash (which I usually don't), the waitstaff will ask, "Do you want your change?" It's supposedly the "polite" way of asking if they can keep whatever money is over the cost of the bill. Perhaps this waitress just figured that you wanted ALL of your change back, that she couldn't keep the overage for her tip, so she gave it all back to you.

This is becoming a trend in our area. When a waitperson asks me if I want my change, I always WANT to respond, "Of course I do; it's my money, don't assume you are getting a tip!" Maybe they think it's the new way to ask "is this all set" or to make it easier on themselves (so they don't have to return to your table), but I think it's brash. Here's the money for paying the bill. Bring me the change (unless I say "It's all set) and I'll leave you a tip. I think that paying the bill/leaving a tip is a customer-driven transaction, and not something for waitstaff to decide. Don't assume you can keep the change, don't ask me if you can have the change... and always remember that the "tip meter" is running until I leave the restaurant.

 

[Aliceacc]

Wow. Lots and lots of people need to spend some time serving tables, to see how the other half lives.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Wow. Lots and lots of people need to spend some time serving tables, to see how the other half lives.

That is an interesting theory. But it presupposes that the posters here have either never waited tables or never had a job that relied on tips.

 

[Squirlz]

I was friends with the bartender at the local micro brewery, but he was a wise guy. One time, after three $3 beers, I gave him a ten and asked for change for the tip. He gave me back two fives and just grinned.

 

[MariMama]

I lived for over 30 years in the North. I know what to expect up there.

I have never ever seen a to go cup for beverages, except a shake or smoothie (or fast food, obviously). You actually expect to take a beverage with you when you leave the restaurant?

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I think the problem is that no one ever explained to the server they need to bring change back in a manner that makes tipping easy. It is like one of those things that people KNOW, but they don't explain. I remember my dad explaining this to me when I was a child - when you get change at a restaurant, the waiter will always bring back bills that make it easy to tip. If you don't need change, tell the server when you hand over the money. I feel confident that the waiters we dealt with way back then would have brought change as the OP is expecting. I find a lot of things that my parents taught me are no longer common knowledge.

On the flip side, maybe the servers were hoping for $10 as the tip. I used know a pizza delivery guy who would do that - if someone handed him $40 for a $30 order, he would say thanks and start leaving, making them ask for change. I guess that worked as a one-time strategy, but it probably didn't pay off for repeat business.

On the soda-to-go - I had never seen this before maybe 2 years ago, but it has become common in this area since then.

 

[Cantw8]

I actually find it a little rude when they ask "do you need change back?"

 

[mnrose]

I actually find it a little rude when they ask "do you need change back?"

I never find that rude. In my experience, it is asked BEFORE they even look at the amount I have left (you know, those black folio things where you put the money inside). They are merely asking whether they need to return. That's it. Why would it be rude to assume that you haven't already accounted for the bill + tip since they've not even looked at the amount?

Personally, I think it's just being polite. But, I can see the other way too, particularly if the amount on the table is CLEARLY in excess of the tab on the bill.

 

[mjkacmom]

For another take on the situation... Many, many times recently, when I pay by cash (which I usually don't), the waitstaff will ask, "Do you want your change?" It's supposedly the "polite" way of asking if they can keep whatever money is over the cost of the bill. Perhaps this waitress just figured that you wanted ALL of your change back, that she couldn't keep the overage for her tip, so she gave it all back to you.

This is becoming a trend in our area. When a waitperson asks me if I want my change, I always WANT to respond, "Of course I do; it's my money, don't assume you are getting a tip!" Maybe they think it's the new way to ask "is this all set" or to make it easier on themselves (so they don't have to return to your table), but I think it's brash. Here's the money for paying the bill. Bring me the change (unless I say "It's all set) and I'll leave you a tip. I think that paying the bill/leaving a tip is a customer-driven transaction, and not something for waitstaff to decide. Don't assume you can keep the change, don't ask me if you can have the change... and always remember that the "tip meter" is running until I leave the restaurant.

It's not a new trend. I can't remember if I asked that way back when I used to waitress or not, but it's a pain when you have to go to the register, get change, return to the table, only to have that exact amount left as the tip, especially if it's busy.